Children At Afternoon Tea

A custom in many fashionable houses is to allow children as soon as they are old enough, to come into the drawing-room or library at tea-time, as nothing gives them a better opportunity to learn how to behave in company. Little boys are always taught to bow to visitors; little girls to curtsy. Small boys are taught to place the individual tables, hand plates and tea, and pass sandwiches and cakes. If there are no boys, girls perform this office; very often they both do. When everybody has been helped, the children are perhaps allowed a piece of cake, which they put on a tea-plate, and sit down, and eat nicely. But as the tea-hour is very near their supper time, they are often allowed nothing, and after making themselves useful, go out of the room again. If many people are present and the children are not spoken to, they leave the room unobtrusively and quietly. If only one or two are present, especially those whom the children know well, they shake hands, and say " Good-by, " and walk (not run) out of the room.

This is one of the ways in which well-bred people become used from childhood to instinctive good manners. Unless they are spoken to, they would not think of speaking or making themselves noticed in any way. Very little children who have not reached the age of " discretion, " which may be placed at about five, possibly not until six, usually go in the drawing-room at tea-time only when near relatives or intimate friends of the family are there. Needless to say that they are always washed and dressed. Some children wear special afternoon clothes, but usually the clean clothes put on at tea-time go on again the next morning, except the thin socks and house slippers which are reserved for the " evening hour" of their day.

Children's Parties

A small girl (or boy) giving a party should receive with her mother at the door and greet all her friends as they come in. If it is her birthday and other children bring her gifts, she must say " Thank you" politely. On no account must she be allowed to tell a child " I hate dolls, " if a friend has brought her one. She must learn at an early age that as hostess she must think of her guests rather than herself, and not want the best toys in the grab-bag or scream because another child gets the prize that is offered in a contest. If beaten in a game, a little girl, no less than her brothers, must never cry, or complain that the contest is " not fair" when she loses. She must try to help her guests have a good time, and not insist on playing the game she likes instead of those which the other children suggest.

When she herself goes to a party, she must say, " How do you do, " when she enters the room, and curtsy to the lady who receives. A boy makes a bow. They should have equally good manners as when at home, and not try to grab more than their share of favors or toys. When it is time to go home, they must say, " Good-by, I had a very good time, " or, " Good-by, thank you ever so much."

The Child's Reply

If the hostess says, " Good-by, give my love to your mother! " the child answers, " Yes, Mrs. Smith." In all monosyllabic replies a child must not say " Yes" or " No" or " What? " A boy in answering a gentleman still uses the old-fashioned " Yes, sir, " " No, sir, " " I think so, sir, " but ma'am has gone out of style. Both boys and girls must therefore answer, " No, Mrs. Smith, " " Yes, Miss Jones." A girl says " Yes, Mr. Smith, " rather than " sir." All children should say, " What did you say, mother? " " No, father, " " Thank you, Aunt Kate, " " Yes, Uncle Fred, " etc.

They need not insert a name in a long sentence nor with " please, " or " thank you." " Yes, please, " or " No, thank you, " is quite sufficient. Or in answering, " I just saw Mary down in the garden, " it is not necessary to add " Mrs. Smith" at the end.