Growth of good taste in America

Good taste or bad is revealed in everything we are, do, or have. Our speech, manners, dress, and household goods—and even our friends—are evidences of the propriety of our taste, and all these have been the subject of this book. Rules of etiquette are nothing more than sign-posts by which we are guided to the goal of good taste.

Whether we Americans are drifting toward or from finer perceptions, both mental and spiritual, is too profound a subject to be taken up except on a broader scope than that of the present volume. Yet it is a commonplace remark that older people invariably feel that the younger generation is speeding swiftly on the road to perdition. But whether the present younger generation is really any nearer to that frightful end than any previous one, is a question that we, of the present older generation, are scarcely qualified to answer. To be sure, manners seem to have grown lax, and many of the amenities apparently have vanished. But do these things merely seem so to us because young men of fashion do not pay party calls nowadays and the young woman of fashion is informal? It is difficult to maintain that youth to-day is so very different from what it has been in other periods of the country's history, especially as " the capriciousness of beauty, " the " heartlessness" and " carelessness" of youth, are charges of a too suspiciously bromidic flavor to carry conviction.

The present generation is at least ahead of some of its " very proper" predecessors in that weddings do not have to be set for noon because a bridegroom's sobriety is not to be counted on later in the day! That young people of to-day prefer games to conversation scarcely proves degeneration. That they wear very few clothes is not a symptom of decline. There have always been recurring cycles of undress, followed by muffling from shoe-soles to chin. We have not yet reached the undress of Pauline Bonaparte, so the muffling period may not be due!

However, leaving out the mooted question whether etiquette may not soon be a subject for an obituary rather than a guide-book, one thing is certain: we have advanced prodigiously in esthetic taste.

Never in the recollection of any one now living has it been so easy to surround oneself with lovely belongings. Each year's achievement seems to stride away from that of the year before in producing woodwork, ironwork, glass, stone, print, paint and textile that is lovelier and lovelier. One can not go into the shops or pass their windows on the streets without being impressed with the ever-growing taste of their display. Nor can one look into the magazines devoted to gardens and houses and house-furnishings and fail to appreciate the increasing wealth of the beautiful in environment.

That such exquisite " best" as America possessed in her Colonial houses and gardens and furnishings should ever have been discarded for the atrocities of the period after the Civil War, is comparable to nothing but Titania's Midsummer Night's Dream madness that made her believe an ass's features more beautiful than those of Apollo!

Happily, however, since we never do things by halves, we are studying and cultivating and buying and making, and trying to forget and overcome that terrible marriage of our beautiful Colonial ancestress with the dark-wooded, plush-draped, jig-sawed upstart of vulgarity and ignorance. In another country her type would be lost in his, forever! But in a country that sent a million soldiers across three thousand miles of ocean, in spite of every obstacle and in the twinkling of an eye, why even comment that good taste is pouring over our land as fast as periodicals, books and manufacturers can take it. Three thousand miles east and west, two thousand miles north and south, white tiled bathrooms have sprung like mushrooms seemingly in a single night, charming houses, enchanting gardens, beautiful cities, cultivated people, created in thousands upon thousands of instances in the short span of one generation. Certain great houses abroad have consummate quality, it is true, but for every one of these, there are a thousand that are mediocre, even offensive. In our own country, beautiful houses and appointments flourish like field flowers in summer; not merely in the occasional gardens of the very rich, but everywhere.

And all this means? Merely one more incident added to the many great facts that prove us a wonderful nation. (But this is an aside merely, and not to be talked about to anyone except just ourselves!) At the same time it is no idle boast that the world is at present looking toward America; and whatever we become is bound to lower or raise the standards of life. The other countries are old, we are youth personified! We have all youth's glorious beauty and strength and vitality and courage. If we can keep these attributes and add finish and understanding and perfect taste in living and thinking, we need not dwell on the Golden Age that is past, but believe in the Golden Age that is sure to be.

INDEX

ToC

· Acceptance of an invitation, 122-123;

o to a formal dinner, 187, 188;

o to an informal dinner, 125;

o to a wedding, 111.

· Acknowledgment of Christmas presents, 407-408;

o of wedding presents, 320;

o of messages of condolence, 406-408.

· Address, forms of. See: Forms of address.

· Address, notification of, 180;

o by bride and groom, 108-109.

· Address on envelopes, 460, 486, 488;

o on letters, 450, 455, 460, 461;

o on visiting cards, 74-76.

· Afternoon parties, chapter on, 165-176.

· Afternoon teas. See: Teas.

· Ambassador, close of letter to, 456;

o function of in presentation at court, 609;

o how to address, 488;

o how to announce as a guest, 214;

o how to introduce, 4, 489.

· Americans abroad, 604-616.

· Announcement of a death, 390;

o of an engagement, 89, 304-306, 309;

o of a second marriage, 108;

o of a wedding, 106-10 7.

· Announcing dinner, 217.

· Announcing guests, at afternoon tea, 167;

o at dinner, 214-215.

· Answering the door, 145. See also:

o " Not at home."

· Anthem, national, 23.

· Apology, form of, 23-24;

o letters of, 462-463;

o at the theater, 41.

· Archbishop, close of letter to, 489;

o how to address, 488;

o how to introduce, 489.

· Argumentativeness, 50.

· Arm, etiquette of offering and taking, 30.

· Artichokes, how to eat, 583.

· Asking for a dance, 267, 270.

· Asparagus, how to eat, 582.

· Assemblies, 272-275.

· Assemblyman, 486, 487.

· At home with dancing, invitations to an, 112-116.

· Au revoir, avoidance of use of, 19.

· Automobiles. See: Motoring; Vehicles.

· Baby, clothes for, at a christening, 385;

o letters of thanks for gifts to, 468;

o training in table manners, 571.

· Bachelor's apartment, tea in, 292;

o dinner, 230, 336-337, 375;

o party, 71, 296-298;

o theater party, 38.

· Bachelor girl, 295.

· Ball dress, 541, 546-547, 557, 603;

o in opera box, 37.

· Ballroom, etiquette in, 258-262;

o for an afternoon tea, 167.

· Balls, chapter on, 250-275;

o clothes for, 569;

o gloves at, 20;

o hand-shaking at, 20;

o introductions at, 10, 16;

o invitations to, 112-116;

o for a dé butante, 276-279;

o public, 271-275.

· Beginning a letter, 492-494.

· Behavior, good, fundamentals of, 506-510.

· Best man, 331, 344;

o clothes of, 333;

o duties of on wedding day, 345-346;

o during the marriage ceremony, 358, 359, 360;

o after the marriage ceremony, 361;

o in rehearsal, 341, 342;

o at the wedding breakfast, 368.

· Best Society, chapter on, 1-3;

o definition of, 3.

· Beverages at afternoon teas, 167, 168, 169, 170, 173, 174;

o at ball suppers, 257;

o at formal dinners, 205, 209;

o at luncheons, 244-245;

o at wedding breakfasts, 365, 368.

· Big dinners, 225-226.

· Birds, how to eat, 584, 585.

· Bishop, close of letter to, 489;

o how to address, 488;

o how to introduce, 5, 489.

· Bones, management of, at table, 583-584.

· Boots, 551, 568.

· Bouquet, bridal, 344, 358, 359;

o of bridesmaid, 328.

· Boutonniè re, 334, 344, 354, 357, 551, 563.

· Bowing, etiquette of, 20, 21, 23, 24-27, 93, 508;

o at court, 610.

· Bread and butter, how to eat, 583.

· Bread and butter letters, 468-470.

· Breakfast, invitations to, 238-239;

o for country house guests, 427-429;

o wedding, 364-368.

· Bridal procession, 339-342, 357-358.

· Bridal veil, 350, 351.

· Bride, acknowledgment of gifts by, 320. 321;

o acquiring of social position by, 66-68;

o calls of, 66;

o calls on, 67-91;

o gifts of to bridesmaids, 336;

o gifts to by groom, 344;

o giving away of, 353, 359;

o house of on wedding day, 347. 350;

o letters of thanks to relatives-in-law, 471;

o during the marriage ceremony, 358, 359, 360;

o in rehearsal, 338-342;

o at the wedding breakfast, 362, 368;

o as a chaperon, 289;

o as a guest of honor, 11.

· Bride's going away dress, 370.

· Bride's mother, cards left with, 87.

· Bride's parents, 340-342, 353, 357-360, 366;

o expenses of for wedding, 377-378.

· Bride's table, 365.

· Bridegroom, 341-342, 357-360;

o clothes of, 332, 333;

o expenses of, 337, 342-344, 378;

o as a guest of honor, 11;

o parents of, at wedding reception, 364;

o wedding given by, 316-318.

· Bridegroom's mother, card left with, 87.

· Bridesmaids, 328-332, 339-340, 342, 351, 353, 358-361, 368.

· Bridesmaids' luncheon, 335-336.

· Bridesmaids' and ushers' dinner, 336.

· Bridge, 524-527;

o introduction at, 12;

o invitation to, 124, 128-129.

· Buffet at afternoon teas, 167;

o luncheons, 248-249.

· Bundles, carrying of, 29.

· Burials, women at, 327.

· Business etiquette, 530-539;

o letters, 455, 460-461;

o relations between men and women, 23, 506, 530-532;

o suits, 152, 246, 566-567, 570;

o visits, 15, 23, 533-534.

· Butler, 142-144, 161-163, 167, 186-187, 201-202, 214, 425.

· Butter, avoidance of at formal dinner, 206, 585.

· Cabaret, supper at, 293.

· Cabinet, member of, close of letter to, 456, 487;

o how to address, 486;

o how to announce as a guest, 214;

o how to introduce, 487.

· Cardinal, close of letter to, 487;

o how to address, 486; how to introduce, 4, 487.

· Calls. See: Visits.

· Camp, house party in, chapter on, 440-447;

o invitation to, 127.

· Cards, of address, 108;

o of admittance to church weddings, 102;

o of general invitation, 118;

o of introduction to a club, 521;

o as invitations, 124, 168, 169;

o at funerals, 408;

o with gifts, 321, 322;

o menu, 210;

o place, 210;

o visiting, chapter on, 73-97.

· Carriages. See: Vehicles.

· Cars. See: Street cars; Motoring; Vehicles.

· Carving, 229-230.

· Cereal, how to eat, 573.

· Celebrities, afternoon teas in honor of, 168.

· Chaperon, 138;

o chapter on, 288-298;

o at public balls, 271.

· Chic woman, 542.

· Chicken, how to eat, 584, 585.

· Children, cards of, 78;

o conversation about, 49;

o invitations to, 459, 460;

o parties for, 580-581;

o table manners of, 571-582;

o training of, 587-588, 592;

o at afternoon tea, 579-580;

o on railway trains, 594.

· Christenings, chapter on, 380-386.

· Christmas presents, 467-468.

· Church, greetings in, 19-20;

o leave-taking at, 20.

· Church weddings, 102-103; 314-316; 339-342;

o invitations to, 99-100.

· Cigars. See: Smoking.

· Circus, etiquette at, 46.

· Clergy, how to introduce, 4-5.

· Clergyman, close of letter to, 456, 489;

o how to address, 488;

o how to introduce, 489;

o visiting card of, 78;

o wedding fee of, 344.

· Closing a letter, 455-458, 460, 487, 489-490, 494-496.

· Clothes, at an afternoon tea, 165, 547, 556;

o at a christening, 385-386;

o at a concert, 547;

o at a funeral, 408;

o at a house party in camp, 441-442;

o at luncheon, 246;

o at the opera, 35, 547, 549;

o at theater, 42-43, 547, 569;

o on a visit, 97;

o at a wedding, 328-330, 332-334, 556, 569-570;

o for a dé butante, 281;

o for a gentleman, chapter on, 562-570;

o for a lady, chapter on, 540-570;

o for servants, 138, 140, 143-144, 151-152, 246-247;

o for people with limited incomes, 543-545, 553-557.

· Clubs, chapter on, 511-523;

o conversation in, 508.

· Colloquial language, 62.

· Colors, passing of the, 23.

· Companion, 138.

· Concert, clothes for, 547.

· Condolence, 406-408;

o letters of, 483-485;

o visits of, 88, 93.

· Congratulations, to bride and groom, 362;

o letters of, 481-483.

· Congressman, 486, 487.

· Consul, 488, 489.

· Contradiction, 50-51.

· Conspicuousness, avoidance of, 28.

· Conventions for the young girl, 292-294.

· Conversation, 506-508;

o chapter on, 48-57;

o foreign words in, 19;

o how to begin, 8;

o at afternoon tea, 170;

o at dinner, 216, 221, 223-225;

o at the home table, 592;

o at the opera, 37;

o on a railway train, 595;

o on a steamer, 599, 600, 602;

o on the street, 28;

o at the table, 10, 12, 576-577;

o at the theater, 40-41;

o at a wedding, 355, 362-363;

o without an introduction, 10, 12, 599-600.

· Cook, 146-147, 178, 234-235.

· Corn, how to eat, 573.

· Corn on the cob, when to eat, 582.

· Correct usage of words and phrases, 58-62.

· Correspondence. See: Letters.

· Country clothes, 548-550; 568, 570; 603.

· Country clubs, 516-517, 520.

· Country house, chapter on, 410-439;

o invitations to, 126;

o letters of thanks for visits to, 468-473;

o stationery, 451-453.

· Court, presentation at, 609-610.

· Courtship, 299-301.

· Crests, 451.

· Cuff links, 144, 152, 567.

· Cup, use of, 573.

· Cut direct, 26-27.

· Cutaway coat, 246, 332, 566, 569.

· Cutting in at a dance, 269-270.

· Dances, chapter on, 250-275;

o introductions at, 16;

o invitations to, 112-116, 124, 128, 251-254, 259-260;

o at an afternoon tea, 166;

o at a wedding, 369.

· Dating a letter, 453.

· Day dress, 555-556.

· Days at home, 82, 86-87.

· Death, notice of, 387, 390.

· Debts, 506, 509, 523.

· Dé butante, 11, 80, 114-116, 252, 257;

o chapter on, 276-287.

· Dé butante's card, 79;

o theater party, 43-46.

· Dessert, 207-209, 573.

· Devices on stationery, 451-453.

· Dining-room, appointments of, 192-194.

· Dining-saloon etiquette, 509-10.

· Dinner, announcement of, 162-163, 217;

o clothes for, 546-547, 559, 569, 589, 603;

o introductions at, 10, 12-13;

o invitations to, 119, 124-125, 128, 188;

o seating at, 162, 178-179, 196, 210-212, 229;

o taking in to, 12, 217-218;

o formal, chapter on, 177-230;

o before the opera, 35;

o before the theater, 38;

o for bridesmaids and ushers; for engaged couples, 305-306;

o for parents of groom-elect, 310;

o for week-end guests, 418-419;

o in camp, 444;

o with limited equipment, chapter on, 231-237.

· Dinner coat, 42.

· Dishes, how to present, 206.

· Dishing, 235.

· Divorce, 507, 509.

· Divorced woman, name of, 459;

o visiting card of, 78.

· Doctor, how to introduce, 5;

o visiting cards of, 78.

· Don'ts for dé butantes, 284;

o for a hostess at country house, 431-435;

o for setting the table, 199-200;

o for writing a letter, 493, 502-503, 505.

· Double cards, 79.

· Drawing-room, 94, 184, 214, 224-225.

· Dress. See: Clothes.

· Drinking, 573-574.

· Drinks. See: Beverages.

· Duke, how to address, 608.

· Earl, how to address, 608.

· Eating difficult foods, 223, 582-585.

· Eggs, how to eat, 574-584.

· Elbows on the table, 585-586.

· Elevator, removal of gentleman's hat in, 22.

· Elopements, 301.

· Engaged couples, afternoon tea in honor of, 168;

o dinner for, 305-306;

o entertainments for, 304;

o photographs of in newspapers, 304;

o visits of, 32.

o See also: Fiancé e.

· Engagements, chapter On, 299.311;

o announcement of, 89;

o congratulations on, 481-482;

o letters to relatives on, 303.

· Engraved cards of thanks, 474;

o pew cards, 103;

o visiting cards, 73-76.

· English clothes, 553, 561-562.

· Entertainments, introductions at, 10;

o service at, 159-164;

o after dinner, 225;

o at camp, 445-446;

o at country house, 430, 433-434;

o for engaged couples, 304.

· Envelopes, 450, 454.

· Escorts, 31-32, 594-595.

· Etiquette, scope of, 3.

· European travel, 604-616.

· Evening clothes, 144, 281, 318, 549, 557, 559, 563-564, 603.

· Expenses, clothing, 543-545, 553-557;

o funeral, 390-391;

o wedding, 317, 329, 342-344, 376-378.

· Ex-President of the United States, how to introduce, 5.

· Family affairs, conversation about, 49, 506-507, 509, 592.

· Fare, payment of, 31.

· Fashion, 541-543, 557-558.

· Father's consent to an engagement, 301.

· Fiancé e, asking invitations for to a ball, 253;

o etiquette for, 308;

o gifts to by groom-elect, 310-311;

o visits of, 95;

o visits to, 88, 303.

· Finger bowl, 208-209, 585.

· Finger food, 582-585.

· Flower girls, 330, 358.

· Flowers, cards with, 79;

o for dé butante, 277-278;

o for fiancé e, 310-311;

o for funerals, 394-395;

o for the guest room, 417;

o for the table, 193, 195, 591;

o for a wedding, 315-316, 348-349.

· Folding a note, 454.

· Food, at an afternoon tea, 167-170, 172-173;

o at a ball supper, 256-257;

o in camp, 444-445;

o for country house guests, 418, 427-428;

o for formal dinner, 184, 188-190, 232-235;

o for luncheon, 243-244;

o on a train, 592-593;

o for a wedding breakfast, 365, 368;

o how to eat difficult foods, 223, 582-585.

· Footmen, house, 144-146.

· Foreign language, 610-612.

· Foreigners, shaking hands with, 20;

o titled, how to address, 608-609;

o how to announce as guests, 215;

o letters to, 490.

· Fork, 196-197, 203-204;

o use of, 573-575, 584-585.

· Forms of address, 455, 486-489, 608-609.

· Frock coat, 332, 566, 569.

· Full dress, 35, 42, 569.

· Funerals, chapter on, 387-409.

· Furnishings, of a camp, 443;

o of a dining-room, 192-194;

o of a guest room, 414-417.

· Furniture, 132-135.

· Games, 12;

o outdoor, 46-47;

o and sports, chapter on, 524-529.

o See also: Entertainments.

· Garden party, 174-175;

o dress for, 556.

· Gentleman, The, 506-508.

· Gentleman's stick, 22, 143, 45, 358, 360, 564.

· Gifts, Christmas, 468;

o wedding, 319-323;

o to baby, 382, 468;

o to bride by groom, 344;

o to bridesmaids, 336;

o to engaged couple, 306;

o to fiancé e by groom-elect, 310-311;

o to wedding ushers, 337;

o of tickets for balls, concerts, etc., 43.

· Girls. See: Young girl.

· Gloves, 220, 246, 333-334, 344, 357, 544, 552, 554-556, 563;

o removal of when shaking hands, 20;

o bridegroom's, 333;

o white, when worn by a gentleman, 35.

· Godparents, 380-382.

· Golf, 527.528;

o invitation to, 128;

o clubs, 517.

· Good-bys. See: Leave taking.

· Governor, close of letter to, 487;

o how to address, 486;

o how to announce as a guest, 214;

o how to introduce, 487.

· Greetings, chapter on, 18-21;

o abroad, 606-607;

o to mourners, 399.

· Guest cards, 417-418;

o lists, 186-187;

o rooms, 413-417, 425-427.

· Guests, announcement of, 161-162, 214-215;

o introduction of, 11-12, 487, 489;

o selection of, 72;

o to country house, 419-420;

o to dé butante's party, 280;

o to formal dinner, 178, 185-186;

o to a wedding, 312-314;

o tipping by, 426-427.

· Guests, distinguished, 11, 216.

· Guests at an afternoon tea, 170;

o at a christening, 380, 383;

o at a country house, 410-412, 429-431, 435-439, 470;

o at a club, 520-523;

o at a formal dinner, 184, 210-212;

o at a garden party, 175;

o at luncheon, 240;

o in opera box, 35;

o on private car, 439;

o on yacht, 439.

o See also: Precedence; —Seating.

· Handwriting, 448-449, 460.

· Hanging the bell, 390.

· Hat, 35, 245-246, 357, 544, 549, 555-556, 564, 566;

o lifting of, 23-24;

o removal of by a gentleman, 22-23, 25.

· Headdress, 42, 319, 347, 544, 546-547, 552.

· Healths to the bride, 337;

o to an engaged couple, 305.

· " Hello" as a greeting, 19-20.

· Home, manners in the, 587-592.

· Hospitality at parties, 175-176;

o in a country house, chapter on, 410-439.

· Host, bachelor as, 295-298;

o payment of restaurant checks by, 32;

o introductions by, 12;

o at a ball, 260;

o at a country house, 429;

o at a dinner, 184, 211-212, 217;

o at a garden party, 175.

· Hostess, manners of, 218;

o payment of restaurant checks by, 32;

o presentation to at a dance or at the opera, 12.

· Hostess at an afternoon tea, 167-170;

o at a ball, 258-259;

o in a country house, 411-413, 431-435;

o at a dinner, 177-184, 210-212, 215-220, 227;

o at a garden party, 175;

o at a luncheon, 240.

· Hotels, 596-597.

· Hour, dinner, 201;

o wedding, 314, 318-319;

o week-end party, 411.

· House, the well-appointed, chapter on, 131-164;

o formal entertaining in, 159-164;

o furniture in, 132-135;

o organization of, 145-155;

o servants in, 155-159;

o service in, 135-145.

· House party, introductions at, 10;

o invitations to, 124, 130;

o bachelor's, 296-298;

o camp, 440-447,

o country house, 411-439.

· House suit, 565.

· House wedding, 373-375.

· Housekeeper, 140-141.

· Housemaid, 148, 425-426.

· Hunting clubs, 517.

· Husband and wife, 54, 214, 413, 507, 509, 589-591.

· Ice cream as dessert, 207-208.

· Initials, in the signature of a letter, 458;

o on visiting cards, 76-77;

o on wedding presents, 322-323.

· " Introduce, " when used in introductions, 4.

· Introductions, chapter on, 4-17;

o greetings at, 18-19;

o letters of, 16-17, 475-478;

o at a ball, 10, 16;

o at bridge, 12;

o at a dinner, 10, 12-13;

o at a house party;

o at a luncheon, 9-10;

o at the opera, 36;

o on a steamer, 601-602;

o on the street, 13;

o at a wedding, 11, 363;

o of guests of honor, 11;

o of important personages, 487, 489;

o of titled foreigners, 608-609;

o of a visitor to a club, 520-522;

o self, 12, 602.

· Invalids, return visits of, 96;

o visits to, 88, 93.

· Invitations, chapter on, 98-130;

o asking for, 117.118;

o cards in connection with, 83-84, 87, 118, 124, 168, 169;

o by a chaperon, 291;

o by telephone, 128-130, 238-239, 380;

o to an at home with dancing, 112-116;

o to a bachelor's party, 297-298;

o to a ball or dance, 112-116, 124, 128, 251-254, 259-260;

o to a breakfast, 238-239;

o to bridge, 124, 128-129;

o to camp, 127;

o to children, 459-460;

o to a christening, 380;

o to country house, 419;

o to a dinner, 119, 124.125, 128, 188;

o to golf, 128;

o to a luncheon, 120, 125-126, 238-239;

o to a picnic, 124-128;

o to a house party, 124, 130;

o to a reception, 119;

o to theater, 38-39;

o to a wedding, 98-109, 111, 312-314;

o to a wedding anniversary, 110.

o See also: Guests, selection Of.

· Jewelry, 144, 544, 546-548, 567, 612;

o for the bride, 344;

o of mourners, 401;

o at the opera, 37;

o at the theater, 42.

· Journeys of engaged couples, 310.

· Judge, how to introduce, 5;

o visiting cards of, 78.

· Justice of the Supreme Court, close of letter to 487;

o how to address, 486;

o how to announce as a guest, 214;

o how to introduce, 487.

· Keeping dinner engagements, 187-188.

· King. See: Court; Royalty.

· Kissing, 96, 307, 362-363.

· Kitchen-maid, 147-148.

· Knife, 207;

o use of, 574-575.

· Knight, how to address, 608.

· Lady traveling alone in Europe, 613-614.

· Lady's maid, 150, 425.

· Language, 58-64, 610-612.

· Leave taking, at church, 20;

o after dinner, 226-227;

o after an introduction, 9, 19;

o after a luncheon, 247;

o after the opera, 37;

o after a visit, 97.

· Letters, chapter on, 491-505;

o shorter, chapter on, 448-491.

o See also specific subjects, e.g.: Beginning a letter; Condolence, letters of; Address on envelopes.

· Liquid food, 573-574.

· Little dinner, 228-229.

· Livery of footmen, 143-146;

o mourning, 406.

· Living alone by young girls or women, 289, 294.

· Love letters, 502-504.

· Luncheon, chapter on, 258-249;

o introductions at, 9-10, 12;

o invitations to, 120, 125-126, 238-239;

o bridesmaids, 238-239.

· Maid of honor at a wedding, 328, 330, 339, 351, 353, 358-360.

· Management of servants, 155-159.

· Manners, 530-539;

o definition of, 2;

o in clubs, 518-520;

o at home, 587-592;

o at the table, 371-586;

o at the theater, 40-43;

o of Americans abroad, 604-607, 612-613;

o of a hostess, 218-219.

· Married couples. See: Husband and wife; young couples.

· Married woman, how to introduce, 6;

o how to shake hands with, 20;

o name of, 458-459;

o visiting card of, 77.

o See also: Husband and wife.

· Mayor, close of letter to, 487;

o how to address, 486;

o how to announce as a guest, 214;

o how to introduce, 487.

· Meeting, at church, 19-20;

o in the Street, 20.

· Men and women, relations between, 292-293, 502-303, 505-509.

· Menus. See: Beverages; Food.

· Menu cards, 210.

· Military officer, visiting card of, 78.

· Minister Plenipotentiary, 215, 488-489.

· Mr. and Mrs. in conversation, 54;

o Money, conversation about, 506;

o and social position, 71-72, 410.

· Motoring, 128, 293, 614-615.

· Mourners, how to address, 399.

· Mourning, 399-406;

o bridesmaid in, 329;

o for funeral, 392-393;

o stationery, 453.

· Moving pictures, 40, 293.

· Music at a ball, 225;

o at a dinner, 250, 251;

o at a funeral, 396;

o at a wedding, 315-316, 338-342, 357-359.

· Musicale, 124.

· Names, 54, 76-78, 458-459, 508.

· Napkin ring, 204.

· Napkins, 220-221, 241, 444, 575.

· National anthem, 23.

· Neighbors, new, afternoon tea in honor of, 168.

o See also: Strangers, 168.

· Newspapers, 304, 390, 417, 509.

· " Not at home, " 84-86.

· Note of apology, 462-463.

· Nurse, 152-153.

· Office buildings, etiquette in, 22.

· Open air gatherings, 46.

· Opera, 12, 20, 310, 546-547, 569;

o chapter on, 33-37.

· Orange blossoms at second marriage, 375.

· P.P.C. cards, 79.

· Packages, 29.

· Pall bearers, 391-392, 569.

· Paris clothes, 353, 539-561.

· Parlor maid, 148.

· Party calls, 81.

· Parties, attendance of a lady at, 32;

o kissing at, 96;

o non-return of, 71;

o afternoon, chapter on, 165-176;

o children's, 580-581;

o engaged couples, 306-307;

o opera, 35;

o theater, 38, 43.

o See also: House party.

· Passing of colors, removal of hat at, 23.

· Payment, etiquette of, 31.

o See also: Debts.

· Peas, how to eat, 573.

· Personal letters, 455.

· Persons of rank. See: Rank, persons of.

· Pew cards, 102-103, 356.

· Photographs of engaged couples in newspapers, 304.

· Picnics, 34, 124, 128.

· Pits, management of, at table, 584.

· Place cards, 128, 210.

· Plates, 200, 202-204, 242.

· Politeness to servants, 153-154.

· Political clubs, 517.

· Politics, etiquette of, 530-539.

· Position in the community, 410;

o chapter on, 65-72.

· Precedence, 40, 204-205, 214-215, 360-361.

· Presentation at court, 609-610.

· " Present, " when used in introductions, 4.

· President of the United States,

o close of letter to, 456, 487, 490;

o as a guest, 214, 430;

o how to address, 486;

o introduction of and to, 4, 5, 487.

· Priest, 488-489.

· Private affairs, conversation about, 592.

· Private car, guests on, 439.

· Private secretary, 139.

· Pronunciation, 62-64.

· Public places, 96, 307,

o chapter on, 28-34.

· Punctuality, 46, 219-220.

· Pusher, nursery, 571.573.

· Rabbi, 488-489.

· Rank, persons of,

o how to announce as guests, 214-215;

o how to address, 486, 488;

o how to introduce, 487, 489;

o close of letter to, 487-489.

· Reading at table, 591.

· Ready-to-wear clothes, 557, 562.

· Receptions, 10, 119, 165, 168.

· Recommendation, letters of, 479-481.

· Referring to husband or wife in conversation, 54.

· Regard for others, rules of, 34.

· Registering at a hotel, 346, 596-597.

· Rehearsal of a wedding, 338-342.

· Restaurants,

o clothes in, 556, 569;

o dinner in before the theater, 38;

o engaged couples in, 310;

o headdress in, 546;

o payment in, 32;

o rising in to greet a lady, 23;

o young girl in, 293.

· Riding clothes, 550-552.

· Rings, 544, 567;

o engagement, 302-303, 311;

o wedding, 343, 346, 359.

· Rising,

o to a lady, 22-23;

o to relatives, 587;

o from table, 577.

· Royalty,

o how to address, 610;

o letters to, 490;

o presentation to, 4, 609-610.

· Salutations, 461;

o chapter on, 22-27.

· Seating,

o at an afternoon tea, 168, 170;

o at a ball supper, 256;

o in drawing-room, 94-95;

o at a formal dinner, 162, 178-179, 196, 210-212;

o at a funeral in church, 409;

o at an informal dinner, 229;

o in an opera box, 35-36;

o at a wedding in church, 354-357;

o in a steamer dining-salon, 599-600;

o at the theater, 40-41;

o in vehicles, 30-31;

o of children at table, 575.

· Second marriage, 107-108, 375-376.

· Secretary, 138-140, 178.

· Self-introduction, 12, 602.

· Senator, 5, 214, 486-487.

· Servants, 135-138, 141-164;

o attitude to, 438-439, 510;

o at formal dinner, 184;

o in country house, 420-421, 425-427.

· Service,

o in country house guest room, 425-427;

o in the well-appointed house, 135-164;

o dinner, 200-209, 236-237.

· Serving table, 206-207.

· Serving tea, 168-171, 173-174.

· Setting the table, 194-200, 591.

· Shaking hands, 20-21;

o at an afternoon tea, 167;

o at a formal dinner, 215;

o on a visit, 93;

o at a wedding, 362-363;

o when introduced, 7-8, 9, 12.

· Shirt, 143, 334, 568.

· Shirt studs, 144, 152, 567.

· Shirt waist, 151, 549, 556.

· Shoes, 333, 549, 555, 558, 564, 566, 568.

· Shops, etiquette in, 33.

· Sickness. See: Invalids.

· Signature of a letter, 458-459.

· Silk hat, 564, 566.

· Silver, 198-199.

· Sitting up with the deceased, 393.

· Sitting down at the table, 577.

· Skirt, 151, 548, 549, 552, 556, 558.

· Slang, 62.

· Sleeping arrangements in country house, 413.

· Slippers, 549, 555.

· Smart society, 2.

· Smoking, 22, 28, 47, 209, 223-224, 530, 594.

· Social letters, 455-456, 461-463.

· Social position. See: Position in the community.

· Society, best,

o chapter on, 1-3;

o definition of, 3;

o smart, 2.

· Speech, 64.

· Speaking to a lady, 22-23.

· Spoon, 197;

o Use of, 571, 573.

· Sports clothes, 548.

· Sports clubs, 517.

· Stag dinner, 230.

· Stand-up luncheons, 248, 249.

· Steamer etiquette, 598-603.

· Stores, etiquette in, 27, 33.

· Story telling, 50.

· Strangers,

o cards left with, 83;

o invitations for, 117, 254;

o social position of, 67-70;

o visits, 70-71, 83, 90;

o at afternoon tea, 170.

· Street, chapter on the, 28-34.

· Street car etiquette, 23-24.

· Street clothes, 548.

· Subscription dances, 272-275.

· Summer dress, 549, 556.

· Sunburn, dress for women who mind, 549-550.

· Superscription in letters, 459, 460.

· Supper, 249;

o at a ball, 255-257;

o at a cabaret, 293;

o after theater, 45.

· Table,

o dinner, 191, 591;

o luncheon, 240-242;

o supper, 249;

o tea, 167-174.

· Table furnishings, 184, 591;

o hostess, 169-170;

o manners, 220-224, 571-586;

o setting, 180-181, 194-200, 591.

· Tail Coat, 35.

· Taking leave. See: Leave taking.

· Tea gown, 547.

· Teas,

o chapter on, 165-176;

o clothes for, 165, 547, 556;

o invitations to, 119, 124;

o bachelor's, 292;

o children's, 579-580.

· Telephone, invitation by, 128-130, 238-239, 380.

· Tennis, 128.

· Thanks, cards of, 474;

o letters of, 463, 475.

· Theater, 31, 38-46, 310, 547, 569, 611-612.

· Third person in correspondence, 478-479.

· Tickets for theater, opera, etc., 39-40, 43.

· Tie, gentleman's, 35, 143-144, 246, 333-334, 363, 565-566.

· Tips, in a hotel, 597;

o to servants, 426-427;

o on steamboats, 602-603.

· Titled foreigners, 215, 490, 607-608.

· Titles, 5, 486-489;

o on visiting cards, 76-78.

· Topics of conversation, 51, 55-56.

· Train card, 105.

· Train of a dress, 547.

· Trains, railway, 31, 593-596, 615.

· Traveling, chapter on, 593-616.

o See also specific subjects, e.g.: Young girl, traveling of.

· Traveling clothes, 351, 559.

· Trousers, 143, 246, 332, 334, 564-565, 567, 569.

· Trousseau, 323-327, 332-333.

· Tuxedo, 42, 564-565, 569, 603.

· Uniforms of servants, 148-150.

· Ushers, at a ball, 265;

o at a wedding, 331, 333-335, 337, 339-340, 342, 354-356, 368, 569.

· Valet, 143, 152, 425-426, 441-442, 608.

· Vegetables, how to eat, 575.

· Vehicles, 30-31;

o at a formal dinner, 162-163, 212;

o at a funeral, 395-396;

o at the opera, 37;

o at the theater, 39;

o at a wedding, 353-361.

· Veil, 246, 549;

o bridal, 350-351;

o mourning, 399-401.

· Vice-President of the United States,

o close of letter to, 487, 490;

o how to address, 486;

o how to announce as a guest, 214;

o how to introduce, 487.

· Visits, 36, 70-71, 302-303, 310;

o chapter on, 73-97.

o See also specific subjects, e.g.: Engaged couples, visits of.

· Visiting cards. See: Cards.

· Vulgar woman, the, 544.345.

· Waistcoat, 35, 143, 246, 333, 563, 565-566.

· Walking, across a ballroom, 261-262;

o down the aisle of a theater, 40;

o with a lady, 28.

· Watch chain, 567.

· Wealth, display of, 506.

· Wedding anniversaries, 110, 378-379;

o announcements, 106-107;

o breakfast, 364-368;

o ceremony, 357-358;

o day, chapter on, 345-379;

o dress, 350-351;

o expenses, 317, 329, 342-344, 376-378;

o list, 313-314,

o pictures, 352;

o preparations, 312-344; 347-352;

o presents, 79, 319-323, 464-467;

o trip, 342-343, 345-346.

· Weddings, 19, 20;

o clothes for, 328-330, 332-334, 556, 569-570;

o guest rooms at, 413;

o invitations to, 98-109, 111; 312-314.

o See also: Bride; Bridegroom; and other specific subjects.

· White blossoms at second marriage, 375.

· Widow, 77, 107, 375, 402.

· Wife. See: Husband and wife.

· Woman's clubs, 514, 517-318.

· Words and phrases, correct usage of, 58-62.

· Writing paper, 449-453.

· Written invitations, 120.121, 124.127.

· Yacht, guests on, 439.

· Young couples, 71, 471.

· Young girl, 288-298;

o guest room for, 413;

o letters of, 502-503;

o traveling of, 595-596, 612-613.

· Young person, introduction of to older, 4;

o greetings of to older, 21.

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