Our questions determine our thoughts

One day, I was thinking about important events in my own life and in the lives of people I had encountered along the way. I had met so many people, fortunate and unfortunate, successful and unsuccessful; I really wanted to know what allowed successful people to achieve great things,

while others with similar or better backgrounds disappeared over the tails of Niagara. So I asked myself, " What really makes the biggest difference in my life, in who I become, in who I am as a person, and in where I am going? " The answer I came up with was one I've already shared with you. " It's not the events that shape my life that determine how I feel and act, but, rather, it's the way I interpret and evaluate my life experiences. The meaning I attach to an event will determine the decisions I

make, the actions I take, and therefore my ultimate destiny. But, " I asked myself, " how do I go about evaluating? What exactly is an evaluation? "

I thought, " Well, right now I'm evaluating, aren't I? I'm trying to evaluate how to describe what an evaluation is. What am I doing right now? " And then I realized I had just been asking myself a series of questions, and obviously those questions were:

How do I go about evaluating?

What exactly is an evaluation?

Right now I'm evaluating, aren't I?

What am I doing right now?

Then I thought, " Is it possible that evaluations are nothing but questions? " And I started laughing and thought, " Well, isn't that a question? "

I began to realize that thinking itself is nothing but the process of asking and answering questions. If after reading this you're thinking,

" That's true, " or " That's not true, " you had to ask yourself—either consciously or unconsciously—a question, and that question was, " Is this true? " Or even if you thought, " I need to think about that, " what you're really saying is, " 1 need to ask myself some questions about that. I need to consider that for a moment." As you consider it, you'll begin to question it. We need to realize that most of what we do, day in and day out, is ask and answer questions. So if we want to change the quality of our lives, we should change our habitual questions. These questions direct our focus, and therefore how we think and how we feel.

The masters of question asking, of course, are kids. How many millions of questions do they constantly bombard us with as they're growing up? Why do you think that is? Is it just to drive us crazy? We need to realize that they're constantly making evaluations as to what things mean and what they should do. They're starting to create neuro-associations that will guide their futures. They're learning machines, and the way to learn, to think, to make new connections, is initiated by questions—either questions we ask of ourselves or others.

This entire book and my life's work is the result of my asking questions about what makes us all do what we do and how we can produce change more quickly and easily than it has been done before. Questions are the primary way that we learn virtually anything. In fact, the entire Socratic method (a way of teaching that dates back to the ancient Greek philosopher Socrates) is based upon the teacher doing nothing but asking questions, directing the students' focus, and getting them to come up with

their own answers.

When I realized the incredible power of questions to shape our thoughts and literally our every response to our experiences, I went on a " quest for questions." I began to notice how often questions appeared in our culture. Games like Trivial Pursuit, Jeopardy!, and Scruples were all the rage. The Book of Questions—an entire book of nothing but questions to make you think about your life and your values, was a bestseller.

Ads on TV and in print asked, " What becomes a legend most? " " How do you spell relief? " " Is it soup yet? " Spike Lee asks Michael Jordan " Is it the shoes? " in a TV ad for Nike's Air Jordan basketball shoes.

I not only wanted to know what questions we were asking as a society, but I also wanted to discover the questions that made a difference in people's lives. I asked people in my seminars, in airplanes, in meetings; I asked everyone I met, from CEOs in high-rises to homeless people on the street, trying to discover the questions that created their experience of day-to-day life. I realized that the main difference between the people who seemed to be successful—in any area! —and those who weren't was

that successful people asked better questions, and as a result, they got better answers. They got answers that empowered them to know exactly what to do in any situation to produce the results they desired.

Quality questions create a quality life. You need to bum this idea into your brain, because it's as important as anything else you'll learn in this book. Businesses succeed when those who make the decisions that control their destiny ask the right questions about markets or strategies or product lines. Relationships flourish when people ask the right questions about where potential conflicts exist and how to support each other instead of tearing each other down. Politicians win elections when the questions they raise—whether explicitly or implicitly—provide answers that work for them and their community.

When the automobile was in its infancy, hundreds of people tinkered with building them, but Henry Ford asked, " How can I mass-produce it? "

Millions chafed under communism, but Lech Walesa asked, " How can I raise the standard of living for all working men and women? " Questions set off a processional effect that has an impact beyond our imagination. Questioning our limitations is what tears down the walls in life—in business, in relationships, between countries. I believe all human progress is preceded by new questions.