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The ten emotions of power. 1. Love and warmth. The consistent expression of love seems to be able to melt almost any negative emotions it comes in contact with






 

1. LOVE AND WARMTH. The consistent expression of love seems to be able to melt almost any negative emotions it comes in contact with. If someone is angry with you, you can easily remain loving with them by adopting a core belief such as this marvelous one from the book A Course in Miracles: all communication is either a loving response or a cry for help. If someone comes to you in a state of hurt or anger, and you consistently respond to them with love and warmth, eventually their state will change and their intensity will melt away.

 

" If you could only love enough, you could be the most powerful person in the world."

EMMET FOX

 

2. APPRECIATION AND GRATITUDE. I believe that all of the most powerful emotions are some expression of love, each directed in different ways. For me, appreciation and gratitude are two of the most spiritual emotions, actively expressing through thought and action my appreciation and love for all the gifts that life has given me, that people have given me, that experience has given me. Living in this emotional state will enhance your life more than almost anything I know of. Cultivating this is cultivating life. Live with an attitude of gratitude.

3. CURIOSITY. If you really want to grow in your life, learn to be as curious as a child. Children know how to wonder—that's why they're so endearing[73]. If you want to cure boredom, be curious. If you're curious, nothing is a chore [74]; it's automatic—you want to study. Cultivate curiosity, and life becomes an unending study of joy.

4. EXCITEMENT AND PASSION. Excitement and passion can add juice to anything. Passion can turn any challenge into a tremendous opportunity. Passion is unbridled power to move our lives forward at a faster tempo than ever before. To paraphrase Benjamin Disraeli, man is only truly great when he acts from the passions. How do we " get" passion? The same way we " get" love, warmth, appreciation, gratefulness, and curiosity—we decide to feel it! Use your physiology: speak more rapidly, visualize images more rapidly, move your body in the direction you want to go. Don't just casually sit and think. You can't be filled with passion if you're slumping over your desk, breathing shallowly, and slurring your speech.

5. DETERMINATION. All of the above emotions are invaluable, but there is one that you must have if you're going to create lasting value in this world. It will dictate how you deal with upsets and challenges, with disappointment and disillusionments. Determination means the difference between being stuck and being struck with the lightning power of commitment. If you want to get yourself to lose weight, make those business calls, or follow through on anything, " pushing" yourself won't do it. Putting yourself in a state of determination will. All your actions will spring from that source, and you'll just automatically do whatever it takes to accomplish your aim. Acting with determination means making a congruent, committed decision where you've cut off any other possibility.

 

" Determination is the wake-up call to the human will."

ANTHONY ROBBINS

 

With determination, you can accomplish anything. Without it, you're doomed to frustration and disappointment. Our willingness to do whatever it takes, to act in spite of fear, is the basis of courage. And courage is the foundation from which determination is born. The difference between feeling accomplishment[75] or feeling despondency is the cultivation of the emotional muscle of determination. With all that determination at your command, though, be sure you can also break your own pattern and change your approach. Why smash through a wall if you can just look a little to your left and find a door? Sometimes determination can be a limitation; you need to cultivate...

6. FLEXIBILITY. If there's one seed to plant that will guarantee success, it's the ability to change your approach. In fact, all those Action Signals—those things you used to call negative emotions—are just messages to be more flexible! Choosing to be flexible is choosing to be happy. Throughout your life there will be times when there are things you will not be able to control, and your ability to be flexible in your rules, the meaning you attach to things, and your actions will determine your long-term success or failure, not to mention your level of personal joy. The reed that bends will survive the windstorm, while the mighty oak tree will crack. If you cultivate all of the above emotions, then you'll surely develop...

7. CONFIDENCE. Unshakable confidence is the sense of certainty we all want. The only way you can consistently experience confidence, even in environments and situations you've never previously encountered, is through the power of faith. Imagine and feel certain about the emotions you deserve to have now, rather than wait for them to spontaneously appear someday in the far distant future. When you're confident, you're willing to experiment, to put yourself on the line. One way to develop faith and confidence is simply to practice using it. If I were to ask whether you're confident that you can tie your own shoes, I'm sure you could tell me with perfect confidence that you can. Why? Only because you've done it thousands of times! So practice confidence by using it consistently, and you'll be amazed at the dividends it reaps in every area of your life.

In order to get yourself to do anything, it's imperative to exercise confidence rather than fear. The tragedy of many people's lives is that they avoid doing things because they're afraid; they even feel bad about things in advance. But remember: the source of success for outstanding achievers often finds its origin in a set of nurtured beliefs for which that individual had no references! The ability to act on faith is what moves the human race forward. Another emotion you'll automatically experience once you've succeeded in cultivating all the above is...

8. CHEERFULNESS. When I added cheerfulness to my list of most important values, people commented, " There's something different about you. You seem so happy." I realized that I had been happy, but I hadn't told my face about it! There's a big difference between being happy on the inside, and being outwardly cheerful. Cheerfulness enhances your self-esteem, makes life more fun, and makes the people around you feel happier as well. Cheerfulness has the power to eliminate the feelings of fear, hurt, anger, frustration, disappointment, depression, guilt, and inadequacy from your life. You've achieved cheerfulness the day you realize that no matter what's happening around you, being anything other than cheerful will not make it better.

Being cheerful does not mean that you're Pollyanna or that you look at the world through rose-colored glasses and refuse to acknowledge challenges. Being cheerful means you're incredibly intelligent because you know that if you live life in a state of pleasure—one that's so intense that you transmit a sense of joy to those around you—you can have the impact to meet virtually any challenge that comes your way. Cultivate cheerfulness, and you won't need so many of those " painful" Action Signals to get your attention! Make it easy for yourself to feel cheerful by planting the seed of...

9. VITALITY. Handling this area is critical. If you don't take care of your physical body, it's more difficult to be able to enjoy these emotions. Make sure that physical vitality is available; remember that all emotions are directed through your body. If you're feeling out of sorts emotionally, you need to look at the basics. How are you breathing? When people are stressed, they stop breathing, sapping their vitality. Learning to breathe properly is the most important avenue toward good health. Another critical element to physical vitality is ensuring that you have an abundant level of nerve energy.

How do you do this? Realize that day to day you're expending nerve energy through your actions, and as obvious as it sounds, you do need to make sure that you rest and recharge. By the way, how much sleep are you getting? If you're regularly logging eight to ten hours of sack time, you're probably getting too much sleep! Six to seven hours has been found to be optimum for most people. Contrary to popular belief, sitting still doesn't preserve energy. The truth is, that's usually when you feel most tired. The human nervous system needs to move to have energy. To a certain extent, expending energy gives you a greater sense of energy. As you move, oxygen flows through your system, and that physical level of health creates the emotional sense of vitality that can help you to deal with virtually any negative challenge you could have in your life, So realize that a sense of vitality is a critical emotion to cultivate in order to handle virtually any emotions that come up in your life, not

to mention the critical resource in experiencing consistent passion. Once your garden is filled with these powerful emotions, then you can share your bounty through...

10. CONTRIBUTION. Years ago, I remember being in one of the toughest times in my life, driving down the freeway in the middle of the night. I kept asking, " What do I need to do to turn my life around? " Suddenly an insight came to me, accompanied by such intense emotion that I was compelled to pull my car off the road immediately and write down one key phrase in my journal: " The secret to living is giving."

There's no richer emotion I know of in life than the sense that who you are as a person, something you've said or done, has added to more than just your own life, that somehow it has enhanced life's experience for someone you care about, or maybe someone you don't even know. The stories that move me most profoundly are about people who follow the highest spiritual emotion of caring unconditionally and acting for others' benefit. When I saw the musical Les Miserables, I was deeply

moved by the character of Jean Valjean, because he was such a good man who wanted to give so much to others. Each day we should cultivate that sense of contribution by focusing not only on ourselves, but on others as well.

Don't fall into the trap, though, of trying to contribute to others at your own expense— playing the martyr won't give you a true sense of contribution. But if you can consistently give to yourself and others on a measurable scale that allows you to know that your life has mattered, you'll have a sense of connection with people and a sense of pride and self-esteem that no amount of money, accomplishments, fame, or acknowledgment could ever give. A sense of contribution makes all of life

worthwhile. Imagine what a better world it would be if all of us cultivated a sense of contribution!

 


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