Trouble in the Family

By The Doc

I bumped into young Fiona the other day – not her usual cheerful self, by any means.

‘Just walked down the road with my dad, ’ she said ruefully. ‘And, as usual, we fought all the way.’

Well, I’ve news for Fiona, and her dad.

Nothing is more natural.

Indeed, I’d go so far as to say if there are No tensions in a family, something is wrong!

It’s a sign they either don’t care enough, or they’re building up pressure that will eventually explode.

Oh, I know there’s nothing more exasperating for a mother than to see her teenage boy at loggerheads with Dad.

It’s as bad for Dad to see a teenage girl seemingly unable to hit it off with her mother.

It may comfort them to know teenage rebellion is a sign of normality, not a sign they’ve failed as parents.

Changing standards always lead to family tension, too.

I honestly don’t think we can expect youngsters to stick to the rules our parents set for us.

Oh, yes, up to about the age of 12, you can impose your standards.

After that, wise parents know when to make a stand, and when to give way.

But nothing is more likely to send a teenager slamming out of the door than a parent who says, ‘In my young days…’

Mind you, modern life has its part to play in family tensions.

Families don’t talk nearly so much as they used to. If someone tries, the rest say, ‘Sssshhh – we can’t hear the TV! ’

Oddly enough, all these extra-mural activities at school, & c., tend to rob family life of some of its togetherness.

Visits to concerts, swimming baths, and so on, were once family things. Now, more and more, our leisure is organised for us.

The Sunday afternoon walk used to be a ritual with many a family.

That hour, when a family had time to take their time, to talk over their problems, to meet other folk who were also out as families.

I reckon it did more than we’ll ever realize to dissolve tensions.

D’you know one of the best remedies for coping with family tension?

Two words, ‘I’m sorry.’

It’s amazing how hard some folk find them to say. They think it implies weakness or defeat.

Nothing of the kind. Exactly the opposite, in fact.

Another good way of relieving tension is a row!

The sea’s ever so much calmer after a storm.

But a row has another bonus. When tempers are raised, unspoken truths usually come out.

They may hurt a bit, especially at the time. Yet, at the end, you know each other a bit better – and that can’t be bad.

But beware of insults simply said to hurt. That only makes matters worse.

Lastly, most of the tensions and bickering between children are natural.

Even when they seem to be constant, wise parents don’t worry overmuch
about it.

P.S. – Surprisingly, money is not nearly as often at the root of family tensions as you’d imagine.

Emotional need is a far greater source of trouble than financial need.

From The Words you Need