Chapter Thirteen

TJ’S HAD BEEN a small, quiet bar and restaurant at one time in its history, before new managers came along and made it into a dark, loud, dance club. The weather was gray and rainy, so the patrons were all inside, rather than out on the deck, where the majority of them would hang during the summer evenings. The place wasn't packed, but it held quite a crowd for the early evening hour. The DJ hadn't started yet, but there was a throbbing dance beat coming from somewhere anyway. The overhead fans and invisible ventilation system did nothing to subdue the thick blanket of cigarette smoke that floated conspicuously in the air.

Melanie had to blink several times, then stand still and allow her eyes to adjust to the sudden darkness. Lynda had her by the wrist; Julie trailed behind her. When they could see, the café owner led them to the far corner of the bar where two other women waited.

Melanie had been unexpectedly nervous about this evening out. She didn't know why, except that she'd never been to a gay bar before and wasn't sure what to expect. Picking out the right outfit had been a more difficult task than usual. Lynda had said to dress casually. Actually, her exact words were, " Christ, Melanie. It's a bar." That came with plenty of eye rolling and teasing pokes. She hadn't packed much that was suitable for a night out, but after much deliberation and a quick trip through Samantha's closet, Melanie had finally decided on a comfortable pair of jeans and a sleeveless button-down top in a deep green. Brown sandals, a leather belt, simple gold hoops in her ears, and a touch of perfume, and she had been ready. Scrutinizing herself in the mirror, she had been pleasantly surprised by what she saw. She wasn't used to having a tan. She'd spent so much of her time in her office, she barely noticed the changing seasons. She'd smiled at the unfamiliar bronze tint to her normally fair complexion, as well as the shining blonde highlights the sun had coaxed from her auburn hair. She'd felt a nervous, yet exciting pang in her gut, heading to the bookshop to meet Lynda with an uncharacteristic spring in her step.

Lynda was introducing her to the two women at the bar. " Mel, this is Dina and Steph. Guys, this is Melanie Larson. She just bought the bookshop next door to my place."

Dina and Steph each shook Melanie's hand. They were closer to Lynda's age than Melanie's, and were dressed similarly, in jeans, polo shirts, and work boots like Lynda's. Melanie tried not to notice the not-quite-as-subtle-as-intended appraisal she was getting from two sets of eyes. She swallowed nervously and turned to Julie, who was asking her what she'd like to drink.

" Um, beer is fine. Anything light."

Julie was a small, mousy young woman in her late twenties. She was very soft-spoken, but Melanie noticed almost immediately that she had a biting wit, which seemed to come out of nowhere. She handed the bottle to Melanie, who sipped gratefully, scanning the crowd around her, trying to take it all in.

There were only two couples on the dance floor, a pair of men and a pair of women. Melanie found their presence interesting, since the DJ didn't start for another three hours, so they were essentially dancing to the radio. At the other end of the bar, a group of men were laughing loudly. All were painfully good-looking, two of them holding hands. Melanie smiled at the stereotype that said gay men were gorgeous, and how, sometimes, stereotypes were more on the money than people cared to admit. Two women were standing across the room, a blonde with her back to the wall, a black woman facing her, resting one forearm against the wall near the blonde's head. Judging from the looks on their faces, their discussion was heated, although Melanie couldn't hear them over the music. The blonde was frantically talking with her hands, and the black woman suddenly looked guilty, dropping her eyes to the floor. The blonde looked away, and Melanie could see unshed tears shimmering in her eyes. Feeling suddenly intrusive, she pulled her gaze away.

The majority of the patrons were men, which surprised her since Lynda had said it was Ladies' Night. She turned to ask Julie about it and found the younger woman observing her with a smirk. " What? " she asked self-consciously.

" First time in a gay bar? "

Melanie was grateful for the darkness that covered her furious blushing. She cleared her throat. " That obvious, huh? "

" You're watching things much too intently to have ever seen them before."

Not sure how to respond, she smiled and took a somewhat nervous sip of her beer.

Julie chuckled, excusing herself to the ladies' room, which was on the other side of the room, very near the spatting couple. As Melanie watched her go, she noticed the couple was now into a heavy make-out session, complete with quite a bit of tongue and much groping.

Suddenly finding herself very warm, Melanie turned to Lynda and her friends.

" How we doing? " Lynda asked, a twinkle in her eye.

" Great, " Melanie answered with a smile. " Hey, I thought you said this was Ladies' Night. There seem to be an awful lot of men here."

Lynda exchanged glances with Dina and Steph. " It's a men's bar. Nobody in Rochester can seem to keep a women's bar open for longer than six months, " she explained, the disgust clear in her voice. " They open something new, expect it to turn a profit in a week.

When it doesn't, they give it a complete face-lift. Nobody knows where the hell they are the next time they walk in. I keep telling these people, 'Don't change it. Leave it alone for a while. Let people get used to the place. Customers like familiarity, especially in their bars.' Nobody listens to me. They change it anyway. Not long after that, they close it."

" The guys who own this place are nice enough to offer us a Ladies' Night here and there, " Dina told her. " They understand our frustrations."

" It must be nice to have someplace to go, " Melanie offered.

" So, you're from Chicago? "

Melanie nodded. " I didn't grow up there, but that's where I've been for several years now."

" Must be a wild gay scene there, huh? "

Melanie blinked several times, trying to formulate the right answer. What the hell did she say to that? Oh, I'm not gay. I wouldn't know...? Or, how about, Yeah, baby. You better believe it. It's wild in the windy city...? She glanced at Lynda, hoping for help, but her café -owning friend was leaving her hung out to dry. That's when Melanie realized that Lynda herself was probably wondering exactly where Melanie was coming from.

She was saved from embarrassing herself any more than she already had with her hesitation by the bartender, who brought a shot glass turned upside down and set it in front of Melanie. " The lady at the end of the bar would like to buy you a drink, " he said, smiling.

Melanie's eyebrows raised in surprise, and she met the eyes of a tomboyish blonde who raised her glass in salute. Melanie panicked.

" What do I do? " she whispered to Lynda.

" Go talk to her. Apparently she likes what she sees."

" I don't want to talk to her, " the redhead hissed. " You said you'd protect me."

Lynda was finding this all very amusing. " Oh, all right. Say thanks."

Melanie smiled, mouthing thank you in the direction of the blonde. Lynda was talking to Dina and Steph again, but Melanie suddenly felt a heavy arm around her shoulders, gentle fingers twirling a lock of her hair. She smiled in quiet appreciation. Lynda had quickly put up a No Vacancy sign without even looking at the offender. When Melanie found the courage to steal another glance at the blonde, she was gone.

As time passed, Melanie loosened up and enjoyed herself. The crowd increased in size the later it got. More women arrived and the DJ started up. Melanie was on her fourth beer, feeling much more relaxed. She chatted with Julie and Lynda's friends on and off, but mostly, she stood with her back against the bar, just watching.

The rain was falling harder and the increase in bodies was making the temperature in the little bar climb steadily. Hot and sweaty figures were writhing against one another on the dance floor. Melanie watched them with amusement and a little bit of envy. She was awed by the moves some of the people displayed, and she tapped her foot to the pounding rhythm.

She was physically jarred out of her surveillance when the woman at the bar next to her attempted to lean her elbow on the edge and missed completely. Whatever liquid was in the rock glass she held ended up splashing over Melanie's hip, absorbing warmly into the leg of her jeans.

" Oh my God, I'm sorry, " the woman exclaimed, grabbing a handful of napkins from the holder on the bar and clumsily attempting to clean Melanie up. She had chestnut-colored hair cut in a bob and stood an inch or two shorter than Melanie. She swiped uselessly at the stain with fumbling hands.

" It's okay, " Melanie assured her, trying to politely avoid the help.

" I'm such a klutz, " she said. " I can't do anything right."

" Hey, it's no big deal, " Melanie laughed, attempting to lighten the mood. " They're just jeans. Don't worry about it.

When the woman looked up, Melanie was surprised to see her startlingly green eyes bloodshot and rimmed with tears. She grabbed the woman's trembling hands to stop her from cleaning, and ducked to look her directly in the eye. " Really. It's okay." She smiled her warmest smile. " Really."

The woman shut her eyes tightly and tossed the napkins onto the bar with a grimace. She took a second to compose herself, swiping angrily at her eyes. Then she cleared her throat and held her now-empty glass up for the bartender to see. He slid another one her way in a matter of seconds. The woman took a sip, visibly relaxing as the liquid entered her system. Melanie watched in awe as a calm, cool, in-control facade settled over the frazzled, upset one that had been there a minute ago. The transformation was incredible and instantaneous. She looked like a totally different person. Slowly, Melanie came to the realization that this was a woman who probably spent a lot of time here, or someplace just like it...that the liquid in her glass was like air to her.

Glancing at her recently drained bottle of beer, Melanie quickly ordered herself a Coke.

It was strangely comforting, not to mention somewhat arousing to watch the couples around her, especially the women. Many were holding hands or locked together at the lips, but it was the couples that were very subtly, but at the same time very obviously together, that fascinated her. It was the casual touch on the hip, the gentle stroking of a cheek, the affectionate brushing aside of a stray lock of hair, that entranced Melanie. She watched them with a mix of emotions... pleased that they were in a place where they could feel comfortable enough to be themselves, envious because she wasn't part of it.

She thought about her life, up to that point. She really had nobody special... hadn't ever. Only John, her boyfriend in college, the first man she'd slept with... clumsy and inept as the two of them had been together. Although she hadn't been in love with John, she had loved him very much, and she knew the feelings were reciprocated. When they had finally gotten around to going their separate ways, it had been hard, but necessary. John had admitted, at long last, what Melanie had suspected for some time: he preferred the company of men. They'd said a tearful, but not bitter goodbye, and his parting words had echoed in her head for years. Maybe you should take a good long look inside yourself, Mel. Don't let life pass you by because you're too blind or too stubborn to see things for what they are. He'd winked at her, kissed her on the top of her head, and disappeared out of her life. What the hell had that meant? To this day, it was still a mystery to her. The only way for her to avoid thinking too deeply about his warning had been to throw herself into her career, so that's what she had done. Wholeheartedly and headfirst. As long as she had filled her life with something that took most of her time and all of her concentration, she hadn't had to dwell on other things. It had worked, too. She hadn't thought of John in several years. Funny that he would snake his way into her brain now.

" You seem to be having a pretty good time." Lynda was at her side.

" Actually, I am." Melanie smiled over the edge of her glass.

" Sorry I haven't been very entertaining. Dina and Steph tend to monopolize the conversation, and it gets harder and harder to break away."

" Oh, don't worry. I'm a big girl."

Lynda narrowed her eyes at her friend, a small battle playing itself out in her mind. She'd had enough to drink, was sufficiently loose-lipped. She decided to broach the subject she'd been tiptoeing around for nearly a week. " So, what's the deal with you anyway, Ms. Larson? " She kept the tone playful enough not to be intimidating, but serious enough so Melanie would know exactly what she was asking

Melanie held Lynda's curious but friendly gaze for a long moment, before turning away and taking another sip of her Coke.

" When I find out, I'll let you know, " she said softly.