IX. Express your personal opinion on the following points. 1. Life is just a bowl of cherries.

1. Life is just a bowl of cherries.

2. Some people have all the luck

3. When it rains, it pours.

4. You can’t tell a book by its cover.

5. You get what you pay for.

X. Identify the stylistic devices and lexical expressive means in the following sentences:

1. 'That's wonderful! ' says Jack encouragingly, and Connor beams, like a flower blossoming in the sun.

2. He glows with good health.

3. I take a happy slug of wine, and am just sinking comfortably back when Connor says, 'So! Isn't it exciting about Jack Harper coming over.'

4. Connor has to be the most loyal employee in the world. I once bought a Pepsi when we were out on a picnic, and he nearly had a hernia.

5. My legs aren't working properly and my smile is pasted onto my face and I have a horrible conviction I might suddenly shout 'Pants! ' or something.

6. My face floods with colour.

7. 'I'm sure you're right, ' I manage. 'He'll never guess in a million years.'

8. My stomach has started to churn at the thought of facing Jack Harper again.

9. As I sit down at my desk, I feel as light as a helium balloon.

10. Connor's enthusiastic voice is like salt rubbing into my sore skin.

SECTION 4 (Chapters 9-11)

Read the suggested chapters and do the tasks that follow.

NINE

As I leave the office that evening I feel all agitated, like one of those snow globes. I was perfectly happy being an ordinary, dull little Swiss village. But now Jack Harper's come and shaken me up, and there are snowflakes all over the place, whirling around, not knowing what they think any more.

And bits of glitter, too. Tiny bits of shiny, secret excitement.

Every time I catch his eye or hear his voice, it's like a dart to my chest.

Which is ridiculous. Ridiculous.

Connor is my boyfriend. Connor is my future. He loves me and I love him and I'm moving in with him. And we're going to have wooden floors and shutters and granite worktops. So there.

So there.

I arrive home to find Lissy on her knees in the sitting room, helping Jemima into the tightest black suede dress I've ever seen.

'Wow! ' I say, as I put down my bag. 'That's amazing! '

'There! ' pants Lissy, and sits back on her heels. That's the zip done. Can you breathe? '

Jemima doesn't move a muscle. Lissy and I glance at each other.

Jemima! ' says Lissy in alarm. 'Can you breathe? '

'Kind of, ' says Jemima at last. 'I'll be fine.' Very slowly, with a totally rigid body, she totters over to where her Louis Vuitton bag is resting on a chair.

'What happens if you need to go to the loo? ' I say staring at her.

'Or go back to his place? ' says Lissy with a giggle.

'It's only our second date! I'm not going to go back to his place! ' Jemima says in horror. 'That's not the way to -' she struggles for breath '- to get a rock on your finger.'

'But what if you get carried away with desire for each other? '

'What if he gropes you in the taxi? '

'He's not like that, ' says Jemima, with a roll of her eyes. 'He happens to be the First Assistant Under­secretary to the Secretary of the Treasury, actually.'

I meet Lissy's eyes and I can't help it, I give a snort of laughter.

'Emma, don't laugh, ' says Lissy, deadpan. 'There's nothing wrong with being a secretary. He can always move up, get himself a few qualifications.

'Oh ha ha, very funny, ' says Jemima crossly. 'You know, he'll be knighted one day. I don't think you'll be laughing then.'

'Oh, I expect I will, ' says Lissy. 'Even more so.' She suddenly focuses on Jemima, who is still standing by the chair, trying to reach her bag. 'Oh my God! You can't even pick up your bag, can you? '

'I can! ' says Jemima, making one last desperate effort to bend her body. 'Of course I can. There! ' She manages to scoop up the strap on the end of one of her acrylic fingernails, and triumphantly swings it onto her shoulder. 'You see? '

'What if he suggests dancing? ' says Lissy slyly - 'What will you do then? '

A look of total panic briefly crosses Jemima's face, then disappears.

'He won't, ' she says scornfully. 'Englishmen never suggest dancing.'

'Fair point.' Lissy grins. 'Have a good time.'

As Jemima disappears out of the door, I sink down heavily onto the sofa and reach for a magazine. I glance up at Lissy, but she's staring ahead with a preoccupied look on her face.

'Conditional! ' she says suddenly. 'Of course! How could I have been so stupid!

She scrabbles around under the sofa, pulls out several old newspaper crosswords and starts searching through them.

Honestly. As if being a top lawyer didn't use up enough brain power, Lissy spends her whole time doing crosswords and games of chess by correspon­dence, and special brainy puzzles which she gets from her geeky society of extra-clever people. (It's not called that, of course. It's called something like 'Mindset - for people who like to think'. Then at the bottom it casu­ally mentions that you need an IQ of 600 in order to join.)

And if she can't solve a clue, she doesn't just throw it out, saying 'stupid puzzle' like I would. She saves it. Then about three months later, when we're watching EastEnders or something, she'll suddenly come up with the answer. And she's ecstatic! Just because she gets the last word in the box, or whatever.

Lissy's my oldest friend, and I really love her. But sometimes I really do not understand her.

'What's that? ' I say, as she writes in the answer. 'Some crossword from 1993? '

'Ha ha, ' she says absently. 'So what are you doing this evening? '

'I thought I'd have a quiet evening in, ' I say, flicking through the magazine. 'In fact, I might go through my clothes, ' I add, as my eyes fall on an article entitled 'Essential Wardrobe Upkeep'.

'Do what? '

'I thought I'd check them all for missing buttons and drooping hems, ' I say, reading the article. 'And brush all my jackets with a clothes brush.'

'Have you got a clothes brush? '

'With a hairbrush then.'

'Oh right.' She shrugs. 'Oh well. Because I was just wondering, do you want to go out? '

'Ooh! ' My magazine slithers to the floor. 'Where? '

'Guess what I've got? ' She raises her eyebrows tantalizingly, then fishes in her bag. Very slowly she pulls out a large, rusty keyring, to which a brand new Yale is attached.

'What's that? ' I begin, puzzledly - then suddenly realize. 'No! '

'Yes! I'm in! '

'Oh my God! Lissy! '

'I know! ' Lissy beams at me. 'Isn't it fab? '

The key which Lissy is holding is the coolest key in the world. It opens the door to a private members' club in Clerkenwell, which is completely happening and impossible to get into.

And Lissy got in!

'Lissy, you're the coolest! '

'No I'm not, ' she says, looking pleased. 'It was Jasper at my chambers. He knows everyone on the committee.'

'Well I don't care who it was. I'm so impressed! '

I take the key from her and look at it in fascination, but there's nothing on it. No name, no address, no logo, no nothing. It looks a bit like the key to my dad's garden shed, I find myself thinking. But obviously way, way cooler, I add hastily.

'So who do you think'll be there? ' I look up. 'You know, apparently Madonna's a member. And Jude and Sadie! And that gorgeous new actor from EastEnders. Except everyone says he's gay really...'

'Emma, ' interrupts Lissy. 'You do know celebrities aren't guaranteed.'

'I know! ' I say, a little offended.

Honestly. Who does Lissy think I am? I'm a cool and sophisticated Londoner. I don't get excited by stupid celebrities. I was just mentioning it, that's all.

'In fact, ' I add after a pause, 'it probably spoils the atmosphere if the place is stuffed full of famous people. I mean, can you think of anything worse than sitting at a table, trying to have a nice normal conver­sation, while all around you are movie stars and supermodels and... and pop stars...'

There's a pause while we both think about this.

'So, ' says Lissy casually. 'We might as well go and get ready.'

'Why not? ' I say, equally casually.

Not that it will take long. I mean, I'm only going to throw on a pair of jeans. And maybe quickly wash my hair, which I was going to do anyway.

And maybe do a quick face-mask.

An hour later Lissy appears at the door of my room, dressed in jeans, a tight black corset top and her Bertie heels which I happen to know always give her a blister.

'What do you think? ' she says, in the same casual voice. 'I mean, I haven't really made much effort—'

'Neither have I, ' I say, blowing on my second coat of nail polish. 'I mean, it's just a relaxed evening out. I'm hardly even bothering with makeup.' I look up and stare at Lissy. 'Are those false eyelashes? '

No! I mean... yes. But you weren't supposed to Notice. They're called natural look.' She goes over to the mirror and bats her eyelids at herself worriedly 'Are they really obvious? '

'No! ' I say reassuringly, and reach for my blusher brush. When I look up again, Lissy is staring at my shoulder.

'What's that? '

'What? ' I say innocently, and touch the little diamante heart on my shoulder blade. 'Oh this. Yes, it just sticks on. I thought I'd just put it on for fun.' I reach for my halterneck top, tie it on, and slide my feet into my pointy suede boots. I got them in a Sue Ryder shop a year ago, and they're a bit scuffed up, but in the dark you can hardly tell.

'Do you think we look too much? ' says Lissy as I go and stand next to her in front of the mirror. 'What if they're all in jeans? '

'We're in jeans! '

'But what if they're in big thick jumpers and we look really stupid? '

Lissy is always completely paranoid about what everyone else will be wearing. When it was her first chambers Christmas party and she didn't know whether 'black tie' meant long dresses or just sparkly tops, she made me come and stand outside the door with about six different outfits in carrier bags, so she could quickly change. (Of course the original dress she'd put on was fine. I told her it would be.)

'They won't be wearing big thick jumpers, ' I say. 'Come on, let's go.'

'We can't! ' Lissy looks at her watch. 'It's too early.'

'Yes we can. We can be just having a quick drink on our way to another celebrity party.'

'Oh yes.' Lissy brightens. 'Cool. Let's go! '

It takes us about fifteen minutes by bus to get from Islington to Clerkenwell. Lissy leads me down an empty road near to Smithfield Market, full of ware­houses and empty office buildings. Then we turn a corner, and then another corner, until we're standing in a small alley.

'Right, ' says Lissy, standing under a street lamp and consulting a tiny scrap of paper. 'It's all hidden away somewhere.'

'Isn't there a sign? '

'No. The whole point is, no-one except members knows where it is. You have to knock on the right door and ask for Alexander.'

'Who's Alexander? '

'Dunno.' Lissy shrugs. 'It's their secret code.'

Secret code! This gets cooler and cooler. As Lissy squints at an intercom set in the wall, I look idly around. This street is completely nondescript. In fact, it's pretty shabby. Just rows of identical doors and blanked-out windows and barely any sign of life. But just think. Hidden behind this grim faç ade is the whole of London celebrity society!

'Hi, is Alexander there? ' says Lissy nervously. There's a moment's silence, then as if by magic, the door clicks open.

Oh my God. This is like Aladdin or something. Looking apprehensively at each other, we make our way down a lit corridor pulsing with music. We come to a flat, stainless steel door, and Lissy reaches for her key. As it opens, I quickly tug at my top and casually rearrange my hair.

'OK, ' Lissy mutters. 'Don't look. Don't stare. Just be cool.'

'All right, ' I mutter back, and follow Lissy into the club. As she shows her membership card to a girl at a desk, I stare studiously at her back, and as we walk trough into a large, dim room, I keep my eyes fixed on the beige carpet. I'm not going to gawp at the celebrities. I'm not going to stare. I'm not going to ____

'Look out! '

Oops. I was so busy gazing at the floor, I blundered right into Lissy.

'Sorry, ' I whisper. 'Where shall we sit down? '

I don't dare look around the room for a free seat, in case I see Madonna and she thinks I'm staring at her. 'Here, ' says Lissy, gesturing to a wooden table with an odd little jerk of her head.

Somehow we manage to sit down, stow our bags and pick up the lists of cocktails, all the time rigidly staring at each other.

'Have you seen anyone? ' I murmur.

'No. Have you? '

'No.' I open the cocktail menu and run my eyes down it. God this is a strain. My eyes are starting to ache. I want to look around. I want to see the place.

'Lissy, ' I hiss. 'I'm going to have a look round.'

'Really? ' Lissy stares at me anxiously, as though I'm Steve McQueen announcing he's going over the wire. 'Well... OK. But be careful. Be discreet'

'I will. I'll be fine! '

OK. Here we go. A quick, non-gawping sweep. I lean back in my chair, take a deep breath, then allow my eyes to skim swiftly round the room, taking in as much detail as quickly as I can. Low lighting... lots of purple sofas and chairs... a couple of guys in T-shirts.. three girls in jeans and jumpers, God, Lissy's going to freak... a couple whispering to each other... a guy with a beard reading Private Eye... and that's it.

That can't be it.

This can't be right. Where's Robbie Williams? Where's Jude and Sadie? Where are all the super­models?

'Who did you see? ' hisses Lissy, still staring at the cocktail menu.

I'm not sure, ' I whisper uncertainly. 'Maybe that V with the beard is some famous actor? '

Casually, Lissy turns in her seat and gives him a look.

'I don't think so, ' she says at last, turning back.

'Well, how about the guy in the grey T-shirt? ' I say, gesturing hopefully. 'Is he in a boy band or some­thing? '

'Mmm... no. I don't think so.'

There's silence as we look at each other.

Is anyone famous here? ' I say at last.

'Celebrities aren't guaranteed! ' says Lissy defens­ively.

'I know! But you'd think—'

'Hi! ' A voice interrupts us and we both look round, to see two of the girls in jeans approaching our table. One of them is smiling at me nervously. 'I hope you don't mind, but my friends and I were just wondering - aren't you that new one in Hollyoaks?

Oh, for God's sake.

Anyway. I don't care. We didn't come here to see tacky celebrities taking coke and showing off. We just came to have a nice quiet drink together.

We order strawberry daiquiris and some luxury mixed nuts (Ј4.50, for a small bowl. Don't even ask how much the drinks cost). And I have to admit, I feel a bit more relaxed now I know there's no-one famous to impress.

'How's your work going? ' I ask, as I sip my drink.

'Oh, it's fine, ' says Lissy with a vague shrug. 'I saw the Jersey Fraudster today.'

The Jersey Fraudster is this client of Lissy's who keeps being charged with fraud and appealing and -because Lissy's so brilliant - getting let out. One day he's wearing handcuffs, the next he's dressed in hand-made suits and taking her to lunch at the Ritz.

'He tried to buy me a diamond brooch, ' says Lissy rolling her eyes. 'He had this Asprey's catalogue and he kept saying " That one's rather jolly." And I was like " Humphrey, you're in prison! Concentrate! " ' She shakes her head, takes a sip of her drink, and looks up. 'So... what about your man? '

I know at once she means Jack, but I don't want to admit that's where my mind has leapt to, so I attempt a blank look and say, 'Who, Connor? '

'No, you dope! Your stranger on the plane. The one who knows everything about you.'

'Oh him.' I feel a flush coming to my cheeks, and look down at my embossed paper coaster.

'Yes, him! Have you managed to avoid him? '

'No, ' I admit. 'He won't bloody leave me alone.'

I break off as a waiter puts two fresh strawberry daiquiris on the table. When he's gone, Lissy gives me a close look.

'Emma, do you fancy this guy? '

'No, of course I don't fancy him, ' I say hotly. 'He just... disconcerts me, that's all. It's a completely natural reaction. You'd be the same. Anyway, it's fine. I only have to get through until Friday. Then he'll be gone.'

'And then you'll be moving in with Connor.' Lissy takes a sip of her daiquiri and leans forward. 'You know, I reckon he's going to ask you to marry him! '

I feel a tiny lurch in my stomach, which is probably just my drink going down or something.

'You're so lucky, ' says Lissy wistfully. 'You know, he put up those shelves in my room the other day without even asking! How many men would do that?

'I know. He's just... great.' There's a pause, and I start to shred my paper coaster into little bits. I suppose the only tiny little thing would be that it's not at romantic any more.'

'You can't expect it to be romantic for ever, ' says Lissy. 'Things change. It's natural to become a bit more steady.'

'Oh, I know that! ' I say. 'We're two mature, sensible people, and we're having a loving, steady relationship. Which, you know, is just what I want out of life. Except...' I clear my throat awkwardly. 'We don't have sex that often any more...'

'That's a common problem in long-term relation­ships, ' says Lissy knowledgeably. 'You need to spice it up.'

'With what? '

'Have you tried handcuffs? '

'No! Have you? ' I stare at Lissy, riveted.

'A long time ago, ' she says with a dismissive shrug. 'They weren't all that... Urn... why not try doing it somewhere different. Try doing it at work! '

At work! Now, that's a good idea. Lissy is so clever.

'OK! 'I say. 'I'll try that! '

I reach for my bag, get out a pen and write 'shag@work' on my hand, next to where I've written 'nb: darling'.

Suddenly I'm filled with fresh enthusiasm. This is a brilliant plan. I'll shag Connor at work tomorrow, and it will be the best sex we've ever had, and the sparkle will come back, and we'll be madly in love again. Easy. And that will show Jack Harper.

No. This is nothing to do with Jack Harper. I don't know why that slipped out.

There's only one tiny hitch to my scheme. Which is that it's not quite as easy to shag your boyfriend at work as you'd think. I hadn't quite appreciated before how open everything is in our office. And how many glass partitions there are. And how many people there are, walking around all the time.

By eleven o'clock the next morning I still haven't managed to put a game plan together. I think I'd kind of pictured doing it behind a pot plant somewhere. But now I actually look at them, pot plants are tiny! And all frondy. There's no way Connor and I would be able to hide behind one, let alone risk any movement.

We can't do it in the loos. The girls' loos always have people in there, gossiping and putting on their makeup, and the men's loos... yuck. No way.

We can't do it in Connor's office because the walls are completely made of glass and there aren't any blinds or anything. Plus people are always coming in and out of it to get stuff out of his filing cabinet.

Oh, this is ridiculous. People having affairs must have sex at the office all the time. Is there some special secret shagging room I don't know about?

I can't email Connor and ask for suggestions, because it's crucial that I surprise him. The shock element will be a huge turn-on and make it really sizzling hot and romantic. Plus there's a tiny risk that if I warn him he'll go all corporate on me and insist we take an hour's unpaid leave for it, or something.

I'm just wondering whether we could creep out onto the fire escape, when Nick comes out of Paul's office saying something about margins.

My head jerks up, and I feel a twinge of apprehen­sion. There's something I've been trying to pluck up courage to say to him since that big meeting yesterday.

'Hey Nick, ' I say as he walks by my desk. 'Panther Bars are your product, aren't they? '

'If you can call them a product, ' he says, rolling his eyes.

'Are they going to axe them? '

'More than likely.'

'Well, listen, ' I say quickly. 'Can I have a tiny bit of the marketing budget to put a coupon ad in a maga­zine? ' Nick puts his hands on his hips and stares at me.

'Do what? '

'Put in an ad. It won't be very expensive, I promise. No-one will even notice.'

'Where? '

'Bowling Monthly, ' I say, flushing slightly. 'My grandpa gets it.'

'Bowling what? '

'Please! Look, you don't have to do anything. I'll sort it all out. It'll be a drop in the ocean compared to all the other ads you've run.' I stare at him entreatingly. 'Please... please...'

'Oh all right! ' he says impatiently. 'It's a dead duck, anyway.'

'Thanks! ' I beam at him, then as he walks off, reach for the phone and dial Grandpa's number.

'Hi Grandpa! ' I say as his answer machine beeps. 'I'm putting a money-off coupon ad for Panther Bars in Bowling Monthly. So tell all your friends! You can stock up cheaply. I'll see you soon, OK? '

'Emma? ' Grandpa's voice suddenly booms into my ear. 'I'm here! Just screening.'

'Screening? ' I echo, trying not to sound too surprised. Grandpa screens?

'It's my new hobby. Have you not heard of it? You listen to your friends leaving messages and laugh at them. Most amusing. Now Emma, I was meaning to ring you. I saw a very alarming piece on the news yesterday, about muggings in central London.'

Not this again.

'Grandpa—'

Promise me you don't take London transport, Emma.'

'I er... promise, ' I say, crossing my fingers. 'Grandpa I have to go, really. But I'll call again soon. Love you.''

'Love you too, darling girl.'

As I put the phone down I feel a tiny glow of satis­faction. That's one thing done.

But what about Connor?

'I'll just have to go and fish it out of the archives, ' Caroline is saying across the office, and my head pops up.

The archive room. Of course. Of course! No-one goes to the archive room unless they absolutely have to. It's way down in the basement, and it's all dark with no windows and loads of old books and magazines, and you end up grovelling on the floor to get what you want.

It's perfect.

'I'll go, ' I say, trying to sound nonchalant. 'If you like. What do you have to find? '

'Would you? ' says Caroline gratefully. 'Thanks, Emma. It's an old ad in some defunct magazine. This is the reference...' She hands me a piece of paper and I take it, feeling a thrill of excitement. As she walks away, I demurely pick up my phone and dial Connor's number.

'Hey Connor, ' I say in a low, husky voice. 'Meet me in the archive room. I've got something I want to show you.'

'What? '

'Just... be there, ' I say, feeling like Sharon Stone.

Ha! Office shag here I come!

I hurry down the corridor as quickly as I can, but as I pass Admin I'm accosted by Wendy Smith, who wants to know if I'd like to play in the netball team. So I don't actually get to the basement for a few minutes, and when I open the door, Connor is standing there, looking at his watch.

That's rather annoying. I'd planned to be waiting for him. I was going to be sitting on a pile of books which I would have quickly constructed, one leg crossed over the other and my skirt hitched up seductively.

Oh well.

'Hi, ' I say, in the same husky voice.

'Hi, ' says Connor, with a frown. 'Emma, what is this? I'm really busy this morning.'

I just wanted to see you. A lot of you.' I push the door shut with an abandoned gesture and trail my finger down his chest, like an aftershave commercial. 'We never make love spontaneously any more.'

'What? ' Connor stares at me.

'Come on.' I start unbuttoning his shirt with a sultry expression. 'Let's do it. Right here, right now.'

'Are you crazy? ' says Connor, pushing my fingers out of the way and hastily rebuttoning his shirt. 'Emma, we're in the office! '

'So what? We're young, we're supposed to be in love..." I trail a hand even further down, and Connor's eyes widen.

'Stop! ' he hisses. 'Stop right now! Emma, are you drunk or something? '

'I just want to have sex! Is that too much to ask? '

'Is it too much to ask that we do it in bed like normal people? '

'But we don't do it in bed! I mean, hardly ever! '

There's a sharp silence.

'Emma, ' says Connor at last. 'This isn't the time or the place—'

'It is! It could be! This is how we get the spark back! Lissy said—'

'You discussed our sex life with Lissy? ' Connor looks aghast.

'Obviously I didn't mention us, ' I say, hastily back­tracking. 'We were just talking about... about couples in general, and she said doing it at work can be... sexy! Come on, Connor! ' I shimmy close to him and pull one of his hands inside my bra. 'Don't you find this exciting? Just the thought that someone could be walking down the corridor right now...' I come to a halt as I hear a sound.

I think someone is walking down the corridor right now.

Oh shit.

'I can hear footsteps! ' Connor hisses, and pulls sharply away from me, but his hand stays exactly where it is, inside my bra. He stares at it in horror. 'I'm stuck! My bloody watch. It's snagged on your jumper! ' He yanks at it. 'Fuck! I can't move my arm! '

'Pull it! '

'I am pulling it! ' He looks frantically around. 'Where are some scissors? '

'You're not cutting my jumper, ' I say in horror.

'Do you have any other suggestions? ' He yanks sharply again, and I give a muffled shriek. 'Ow! Stop it! You'll ruin it! '

'Oh I'll ruin it. And that's our major concern, is it? '

'I've always hated that stupid watch! If you'd just worn the one I gave you—'

I break off. There are definitely footsteps approach­ing. They're nearly outside the door.

'Fuck! ' Connor's looking around distractedly. 'Fuck­ing... fucking...'

'Calm down! We'll just shuffle into the corner, ' I hiss. 'Anyway, they might not even come in.'

'This was a great idea, Emma, ' he mutters furiously, as we do a hasty, awkward shuffle across the room together. 'Really great.'

'Don't blame me! ' I retort. 'I just wanted to get a bit of passion back into our—' I freeze as the door opens.

No. God, no.

I feel lightheaded with shock.

Jack Harper is standing in the doorway, holding a big bundle of old magazines.

Slowly, his eyes run over us, taking in Connor's angry expression, his hand inside my bra, my agonized face.

'Mr Harper, ' Connor begins to stutter. 'I'm so very, very sorry. We're... we didn't...' He clears his throat. 'Can I just say how mortified I am... we both are...'

'I'm sure you are, ' says Jack. His face is blank and unreadable; his voice as dry as ever. 'Perhaps the pair of you could adjust your dress before returning to your desks? '

The door closes behind him, and we stand motion­less, like waxworks.

'Look, can you just get your bloody hand out of my top? ' I say at last, suddenly feeling irritated beyond belief with Connor. All my desire for sex has vanished. I feel completely livid with myself. And Connor. And everybody.

TEN

Jack Harper leaves today.

Thank God. Thank God. Because I really couldn't cope with any more of... of him. If I can just keep my head down and avoid him until five o'clock and then run out of the door, then everything will be fine. Life will be back to normal and I will stop feeling as if my radar's been skewed by some invisible magnetic force.

I don't know why I'm in such a jumpy, irritable mood. Because although I nearly died of embarrass­ment yesterday, things are pretty good. First of all, it doesn't look like Connor and I are going to get the sack for having sex at work, which was my immediate fear. And secondly, my brilliant plan worked. As soon as we got back to our desks, Connor started sending me apologetic emails. And then last night we had sex. Twice. With scented candles.

I think Connor must have read somewhere that girls like scented candles during sex. Maybe in Cosmo. Because every time he brings them out, he gives me this 'aren't I considerate? ' look, and I have to say 'Oh! Scented candles! How lovely! '

I mean, don't get me wrong. I don't mind scented candles. But it's not as if they actually do anything, is it? They just stand there and burn. And then at crucial moments I find myself thinking 'I hope the scented candle doesn't fall over', which is a bit distracting.

Anyway. So we had sex.

And tonight we're going to look at a flat together. It doesn't have a wooden floor or shutters - but it has a Jacuzzi in the bathroom, which is pretty cool. So my life is coming together nicely. I don't know why I'm feeling so pissed off. I don't know what's—

/ don't want to move in with Connor, says a tiny voice in my brain before I can stop it.

No. That can't be right. That cannot possibly be right. Connor is perfect. Everyone knows that.

But I don't want to —

Shut up. We're the Perfect Couple. We have sex with scented candles. And we go for walks by the river. And we read the papers on Sundays with cups of coffee in pyjamas. That's what perfect couples do.

But—

Stop it!

I swallow hard. Connor is the one good thing in my life. If I didn't have Connor, what would I have?

The phone rings on my desk, interrupting my thoughts, and I pick it up.

'Hello, Emma? ' comes a familiar dry voice. 'This is Jack Harper.'

My heart gives an almighty leap of fright and I nearly spill my coffee. I haven't seen him since the hand-in-bra incident. And I really don't want to.

I should never have answered my phone.

In fact, I should never have come into work today.

'Oh, 'I say. 'Er... hi! '

'Would you mind coming up to my office for a moment? '

'What... me? ' I say nervously.

'Yes, you.'

I clear my throat.

'Should I... bring anything? '

'No, just yourself.'

He rings off, and I stare at my phone for a few moments, feeling a coldness in my spine. I should have known it was too good to be true. He's going to fire me after all. Gross... negligence... negligent grossness.

I mean, it is pretty gross, getting caught with your boyfriend's hand in your top at work.

OK. Well, there's nothing I can do.

I take a deep breath, stand up and make my way up to the eleventh floor. There's a desk outside his door, but no secretary is sitting there, so I go straight up to the door and knock.

'Come in.'

Cautiously I push the door open. The room is huge and bright and panelled, and Jack is sitting at a circular table with six people gathered round on chairs. Six people I've never seen before, I suddenly realize. They're all holding pieces of paper and sipping water, and the atmosphere is a bit tense.

Have they gathered to watch me being fired? Is this some kind of how-to-fire-people training?

'Hello, ' I say, trying to keep as composed as possible. But my face is hot and I know I look flustered.

'Hi.' Jack's face crinkles in a smile. 'Emma... relax. There's nothing to worry about. I just wanted to ask you something.'

'Oh, right, ' I say, taken aback.

OK, now I'm totally confused. What on earth could he have to ask me?

Jack reaches for a piece of paper and holds it up so I can see it clearly. 'What do you think this is a picture of? ' he says.

Oh fucketty fuck.

This is your worst nightmare. This is like when I went for that interview at Laines Bank and they showed me a squiggle and I said I thought it looked like a squiggle.

Everyone is staring at me. I so want to get it right. If only I knew what right was.

I stare at the picture, my heart beating quickly. It's a graphic of two round objects. Kind of irregular in shape. I have absolutely no idea what they're supposed to be. None at all. They look like... they look like...

Suddenly I see it.

'It's nuts! Two walnuts! '

Jack explodes with laughter, and a couple of people give muffled giggles which they hastily stifle.

'Well, I think that proves my point, ' says Jack.

'Aren't they walnuts? ' I look helplessly around the table.

'They're supposed to be ovaries, ' says a man with rimless spectacles tightly.

'Ovaries? ' I stare at the page. 'Oh, right! Well, yes. Now you say it, I can definitely see a... an ovary-like..."

'Walnuts.' Jack wipes his eyes.

'I've explained, the ovaries are simply part of a range of symbolic representations of womanhood, ' says a thin guy defensively. 'Ovaries to represent fertility, an eye for wisdom, this tree to signify the earth mother…

'The point is, the images can be used across the entire range of products, ' says a woman with black hair, leaning forward. 'The health drink, clothing, a fragrance..."

'The target market responds well to abstract images, ' adds Rimless Spectacle Guy. 'The research has shown—'

'Emma.' Jack looks at me again. 'Would you buy a drink with ovaries on it? '

'Er...' I clear my throat, aware of a couple of hostile faces pointing my way. 'Well... probably not.'

A few people exchange glances.

'This is so irrelevant, ' someone is muttering.

'Jack, three creative teams have been at work at this, ' the black-haired woman says earnestly. 'We can't start from scratch. We simply cannot.'

Jack takes a swig of water from an Evian bottle, wipes his mouth and looks at her.

'You know I came up with the slogan " Don't Pause" in two minutes on a bar napkin? '

'Yes, we know, ' mutters the guy in rimless spectacles.

'We are not selling a drink with ovaries on it.' He exhales sharply, and runs a hand through his dishevelled hair. Then he pushes his chair back. 'OK, let's take a break. Emma, would you be kind enough to assist me in carrying some of these folders down to Sven's office? '

God, I wonder what all that was about. But I don't quite dare ask. Jack marches me down the corridor, and into a lift and presses the ninth-floor button, without saying anything. After we've descended for about two seconds he presses the emergency button, and we grind to a halt. Then, finally, he looks at me.

'Are you and I the only sane people in this building? '

'Um...'

'What happened to instincts? ' His face is incredu­lous. 'No-one knows a good idea from a terrible one any more. Ovaries.' He shakes his head. 'Fucking ovaries! '

I can't help it. He looks so outraged, and the way he says 'ovaries! ' suddenly seems the funniest thing in the world, and before I know it, I've started laughing. For an instant Jack looks astounded, and then his face kind of crumples, and suddenly he's laughing too. His nose screws right up when he laughs, just like a baby's and somehow this makes it seem about a million times funnier.

Oh God. I really am laughing now. I'm giving tiny little snorts, and my ribs hurt, and every time I look at him I give another gurgle. My nose is running, and I haven't got a tissue... I'll have to blow my nose on the picture of the ovaries...

'Emma, why are you with that guy? '

'What? ' I look up, still laughing, until I realize that Jack's stopped. He's looking at me, with an unreadable expression on his face.

'Why are you with that guy? ' he repeats.

My gurgles peter out, and I push my hair back off my face.

'What do you mean? ' I say, playing for time.

'Connor Martin. He's not going to make you happy. He's not going to fulfil you.'

I stare at him, feeling wrong-footed.

'Who says? '

'I've got to know Connor. I've sat in meetings with him. I've seen how his mind works. He's a nice guy - but you need more than a nice guy.' Jack gives me a long, shrewd look. 'My guess is, you don't really want to move in with him. But you're afraid of ducking out.'

I feel a swell of indignation. How dare he read my mind and get it so... so wrong. Of course I want to move in with Connor.

'Actually, you're quite mistaken, ' I say cuttingly. 'I'm looking forward to moving in with him. In fact... in fact, I was just sitting at my desk, thinking how I can't wait! '

So there.

Jack's shaking his head.

'You need someone with a spark. Who excites you.'

'I told you, I didn't mean what I said on the plane. Connor does excite me! ' I give him a defiant look. 'I mean... when you saw us last, we were pretty passionate, weren't we? '

'Oh, that.' Jack shrugs. 'I assumed that was a desperate attempt to spice up your love life.'

I stare at him in fury.

'That was not a desperate attempt to spice up my love life! ' I almost spit at him. 'That was simply a... a spontaneous act of passion.'

'Sorry, ' says Jack mildly. 'My mistake.'

'Anyway, why do you care? ' I fold my arms. 'What does it matter to you whether I'm happy or not? '

There's a sharp silence, and I find I'm breathing rather quickly. I meet his dark eyes, and quickly look away again.

'I've asked myself that same question, ' says Jack. He shrugs. 'Maybe it's because we experienced that extra­ordinary plane ride together. Maybe it's because you're the only person in this whole company who hasn't put on some kind of phoney act for me.'

I would have put on an act! I feel like retorting. If I'd had a choice!

'I guess what I'm saying is... I feel as if you're a friend, ' he says. 'And I care what happens to my friends.'

'Oh, ' I say, and rub my nose.

I'm about to say politely that he feels like a friend, too, when he adds, 'Plus anyone who recites Woody Allen films line for line has to be a loser.'

I feel a surge of outrage on Connor's behalf.

'You don't know anything about it! ' I exclaim. 'You know, I wish I'd never sat next to you on that stupid plane! You go around, saying all these things to wind me up, behaving as though you know me better than anyone else—'

'Maybe I do, ' he says, his eyes glinting.

'What? '

'Maybe I do know you better than anyone else.' I stare back at him, feeling a breathless mixture of anger and exhilaration. I suddenly feel like we're. playing tennis. Or dancing.

'You do not know me better than anyone else! ' I retort, in the most scathing tones I can muster. I know you won't end up with Connor Martin.'

'You don't know that.'

'Yes I do.'

'No you don't.'

'I do.'

He's starting to laugh. 'No you don't! If you want to know, I'll probably end up marrying Connor.'

'Marry Connor? ' says Jack, as though this is the funniest joke he's ever heard.

'Yes! Why not? He's tall, and he's handsome, and he's kind and he's very... he's...' I'm floundering slightly. 'And anyway, this is my personal life. You're my boss, and you only met me last week, and frankly, this is none of your business! '

Jack's laughter vanishes, and he looks as though I've slapped him. For a few moments he stares at me, saying nothing. Then he takes a step back and releases the lift button.

'You're right, ' he says in a completely different voice. 'Your personal life is none of my business. I overstepped the mark, and I apologize.'

I feel a spasm of dismay.

'I... I didn't mean —'

'No. You're right.' He stares at the floor for a few moments, then looks up. 'So, I leave for the States tomorrow. It's been a very pleasant stay, and I'd like to thank you for all your help. Will I see you at the drinks Party tonight? '

'I... I don't know, ' I say.

The atmosphere has disintegrated.

This is awful. It's horrible. I want to say something, I want to put it back to the way it was before, all easy and joking. But I can't find the words.

We reach the ninth floor, and the doors open.

'I think I can manage these from here, ' Jack says. 'I really only asked you along for the company.'

Awkwardly, I transfer the folders to his arms.

'Well, Emma, ' he says in the same formal voice. 'In case I don't see you later on... it was nice knowing you.' He meets my eyes and a glimmer of his old, warm expression returns. 'I really mean that.'

'You too, ' I say, my throat tight.

I don't want him to go. I don't want this to be the end. I feel like suggesting a quick drink. I feel like clinging to his hand and saying: Don't leave.

God, what's wrong with me?

'Have a good journey, ' I manage as he shakes my hand. Then he turns on his heel and walks off down the corridor.

I open my mouth a couple of times to call after him - but what would I say? There's nothing to say. By tomorrow morning he'll be on a plane back to his life. And I'll be left here in mine.

I feel leaden for the rest of the day. Everyone else is talking about Jack Harper's leaving party, but I leave work half an hour early. I go straight home and make myself some hot chocolate, and I'm sitting on the sofa, staring into space when Connor lets himself into the flat.

I look up as he walks into the room, and immedi­ately I know something's different. Not with him. He hasn't changed a bit.

But I have. I've changed.

'Hi, ' he says, and kisses me lightly on the head. 'Shall we go? '

'Go? '

'To look at the flat on Edith Road. We'll have to hurry if we're going to make it to the party. Oh, and my mother's given us a house-warming present. It was delivered to work.'

He hands me a cardboard box. I pull out a glass teapot and look at it blankly.

'You can keep the tea-leaves separate from the water. Mum says it really does make a better cup of tea—'

'Connor, ' I hear myself saying. 'I can't do this.'

'It's quite easy. You just have to lift the—'

'No.' I shut my eyes, trying to gather some courage, then open them again. 'I can't do this. I can't move in with you.'

'What? ' Connor stares at me. 'Has something happened? '

'Yes. No.' I swallow. 'I've been having doubts for a while. About us. And recently they've... they've been confirmed. If we carry on, I'll be a hypocrite. It's not fair to either of us.'

' What? ' Connor rubs his face. 'Emma, are you saying you want to... to...'

'I want to break up, ' I say, staring at the carpet.

'You're joking.'

'I'm not joking! ' I say in sudden anguish. 'I'm not joking, OK? '

'But... this is ridiculous! It's ridiculous! ' Connor's pacing around the room like a rattled lion. Suddenly he looks at me.

'It's that plane journey.'

'What? ' I jump as though I've been scalded. 'What do you mean? '

'You've been different ever since that plane ride down from Scotland.'

'No I haven't! '

'You have! You've been edgy, you've been tense...' Connor squats down in front of me and takes my hands. 'Emma, I think maybe you're still suffering some kind of trauma. You could have counselling.'

'Connor, I don't need counselling! ' I jerk my hands away. 'But maybe you're right. Maybe that plane ride did...' I swallow. 'Affect me. Maybe it brought my life into perspective and make me realize a few things. And one of the things I've realized is, we aren't right for each other.'

Slowly Connor sinks down onto the carpet, his face bewildered.

'But things have been great! We've been having lots of sex—'

'I know.'

'Is there someone else? '

'No! ' I say sharply. 'Of course there's no-one else! ' I rub my finger roughly up and down the cover of the sofa.

'This isn't you talking, ' says Connor suddenly. 'It's just the mood you're in. I'll run you a nice hot bath, light some scented candles

'Connor, please! ' I cry. 'No more scented candles! You have to listen to me. And you have to believe me.' I look straight into his eyes. 'I want to break up.'

'I don't believe you! ' he says, shaking his head. 'I know you, Emma! You're not that kind of person. You wouldn't just throw away something like that. You wouldn't—'

He stops in shock as, with no warning, I hurl the glass teapot to the floor.

We both stare at it, stunned.

'It was supposed to break, ' I explain after a pause. 'And that was going to signify that yes, I would throw something away. If I knew it wasn't right for me.'

'I think it has broken, ' says Connor, picking it up and examining it. 'At least, there's a hairline crack.'

'There you go.'

'We could still use it—'

'No. We couldn't.'

'We could get some Sellotape.'

'But it would never work properly.' I clench my fists by my sides. 'It just... wouldn't work.'

'I see, ' says Connor after a pause.

And I think, finally, he does.

'Well... I'll be off then, ' he says at last. 'I'll phone the flat people and tell them that we're...' He stops, and roughly wipes his nose.

'OK, ' I say, in a voice which doesn't sound like mine. 'Can we keep it quiet from everyone at work? ' I add. 'Just for the moment.'

'Of course, ' he says gruffly. 'I won't say anything.'

He's halfway out of the door when abruptly he turns back, reaching in his pocket. 'Emma, here are the tickets for the jazz festival, ' he says, his voice cracking a little. 'You have them.'

'What? ' I stare at them in horror. 'No! Connor, you have them! They're yours! '

'You have them. I know how much you've been looking forward to hearing the Dennisson Quartet.' He pushes the brightly coloured tickets roughly into my hand and closes my fingers over them.

'I... I...' I swallow. 'Connor... I just... I don't know what to say.'

'We'll always have jazz, ' says Connor in a choked-up voice, and closes the door behind him.

ELEVEN

So now I have no promotion and no boyfriend. And puffy eyes from crying. And everyone thinks I'm mad.

'You're mad, ' Jemima says, approximately every ten minutes. It's Saturday morning, and we're in our usual routine of dressing gowns, coffee, and nursing hang-overs. Or in my case, break-ups. 'You do realize you had him? ' She frowns at her toenail, which she's painting baby pink. 'I would have predicted a rock on your finger within six months.'

'I thought you said I'd ruined all my chances by agreeing to move in with him, ' I retort sulkily.

'Well, in Connor's case I think you would have been safe and dry.' She shakes her head. 'You're crazy.'

'Do you think I'm crazy? ' I say, turning to Lissy, who's sitting in the rocking chair with her arm round her knees, eating a piece of raisin toast. 'Be honest.'

'Er... no, ' says Lissy unconvincingly. 'Of course not! '

'You do! '

'It's just... you seemed like such a great couple.'

'I know we did. I know we looked great on the outside.' I pause, trying to explain. 'But the truth is, I never felt I was being myself. It was always a bit like we were acting. You know. It didn't seem real, somehow.'

'That's it? interrupts Jemima, staring at me as though I'm talking gibberish. 'That's the reason you broke up? '

'It's a pretty good reason, don't you think? ' says Lissy loyally.

Jemima stares at us both blankly.

'Of course not! Emma, if you'd just stuck it out and acted being the perfect couple for long enough, you would have become the perfect couple.'

'But... but we wouldn't have been happy! '

'You would have been the perfect couple, ' says Jemima, as though explaining something to a very stupid child. 'Obviously you would have been happy.' She cautiously stands up, her toes splayed by bits of pink foam, and starts making her way towards the door. 'And anyway. Everyone pretends in a relationship.'

'No they don't! Or at least, they shouldn't.'

'Of course they should! All this being honest with each other is totally overrated.' She gives us a knowing look. 'My mother's been married to my father for thirty years, and he still has no idea she isn't a natural blonde.'

She disappears out of the room and I exchange glances with Lissy.

'Do you think she's right? ' I say.

'No, ' says Lissy uncertainly. 'Of course not! Relationships should be built on... on trust... and truth...' She pauses, and looks at me anxiously. 'Emma, you never told me you felt that way about Connor.'

'I... didn't tell anyone.'

This isn't quite true, I immediately realize. But I'm hardly going to tell my best friend that I told more to a complete stranger than to her, am I?

'Well, I really wish you'd confided in me more, ' says Lissy earnestly. 'Emma, let's make a new resolution. We'll tell each other everything from now on. We shouldn't have secrets from one another, anyway. We're best friends! '

'It's a deal! ' I say, with a sudden warm burst of emotion. Impulsively I lean forward and give her a hug.

Lissy's so right. We should confide in each other. We shouldn't keep things from each other. I mean, we've known each other for over twenty years, for God's sake.

'So, if we're telling each other everything...' Lissy takes a bite of raisin toast and gives me a sidelong look. 'Did your chucking Connor have anything to do with that man? The man from the plane? '

I feel a tiny pang inside which I ignore by taking a sip of coffee.

Did it have anything to do with him? No. No, it didn't.

'No, ' I say without looking up. 'Nothing.'

We both watch the television screen for a few moments, where Kylie Minogue is being interviewed.

'Oh, OK! ' I say, suddenly remembering. 'So if we're asking each other questions... what were you really doing with that guy Jean-Paul in your room? '

Lissy takes a breath.

'And don't tell me you were looking at case notes, ' I add. 'Because that wouldn't make all that thumping bumping noise.'

'Oh! ' says Lissy, looking cornered. 'OK. Well... we were...' She takes a gulp of coffee and avoids my gaze. 'We were... um... having sex.'

'What? ' I stare at her, disconcerted.

'Yes. We were having sex. That's why I didn't want to tell you. I was embarrassed.'

'You and Jean-Paul were having sex? '

'Yes! ' She clears her throat. 'We were having passionate... raunchy... animalistic sex.'

There's something wrong here.

'I don't believe you, ' I say, giving her a long look. 'You weren't having sex.'

The pink dots on Lissy's cheeks deepen in colour.

'Yes we were! '

'No you weren't! Lissy, what were you really doing? '

'We were having sex, OK? ' says Lissy agitatedly. 'He's my new boyfriend and... that's what we were doing! Now just leave me alone.' She gets up flusteredly, scattering raisin toast crumbs, and heads out of the room, tripping slightly on the rug.

I stare after her, completely agog.

Why is she lying? What on earth was she doing in there? What's more embarrassing than sex, for God's sake? I'm so intrigued I almost feel cheered up.

To be honest, it's not the greatest weekend of my life. It's made even less great when the post arrives and I get a postcard from Mum and Dad from Le Spa Meridien, telling me what a fantastic time they're having. And even less great when I read my horoscope in the Mail, and it tells me I may just have made a big mistake.

But by Monday morning, I'm feeling better. I haven't made a mistake. My new life starts today. I'm going to forget all about love and romance and concentrate on my career. Maybe I'll even look for a new job.

As I come out of the tube station, I start to like this idea a lot. I'll apply for a job as Marketing Executive at Coca-Cola or somewhere. And I'll get it. And Paul will suddenly realize what a terrible mistake he made, not promoting me. And he'll ask me to stay, but I'll say, 'It's too late. You had your chance.' And then he'll beg, 'Emma, is there anything I can do to change your mind? ' And then I'll say-By the time I reach the office, Paul is grovelling on the floor as I sit nonchalantly on his desk, holding one knee (I also seem to be wearing a new trouser suit and Prada shoes) saying, 'You know, Paul, all you had to do was treat me with a little respect—'

Shit. My eyes focus and I stop in my tracks, hand on the glass doors. There's a blond head in the foyer.

Connor. A wave of panic overcomes me. I can't go in there. I can't do it. I can't—

Then the head moves, and it's not Connor at all, it's Andrea from Accounts. I push the door open, feeling like a complete moron. God, I'm a mess. I have to get a grip of myself, because I will run into Connor before too long, and I'm just going to have to handle it.

At least no-one at work knows yet, I think as I walk up the stairs. That would make things a million times harder. To have people coming up to me and saying—

'Emma, I'm so sorry to hear about you and Connor! '

'What? ' My head jerks up in shock and I see a girl called Nancy coming towards me.

'It was such a bolt from the blue! Of all the couples to split up, I would never have said you two. But it just shows, you never can tell..."

I stare at her dazedly.

'How... how do you know? '

'Oh, everyone knows! ' says Nancy. 'You know there was a little drinks do on Friday night? Well, Connor came to it, and he got quite drunk. And he told everyone. In fact, he made a little speech! '

'He... he did what? '

'It was quite touching, really. It was all about how the Panther Corporation felt like his family, and how he knew we would all support him through this difficult time. And you, of course, ' she adds as an after­thought. 'Although since you were the one who broke it off, Connor's really the wounded party.' She leans forward confidentially. 'I have to say, a lot of the girls were saying you must have a screw loose! '

I cannot believe this. Connor gave a speech about our break-up. After promising to keep it quiet. And now everyone's on his side.

'Right, ' I say at last. 'Well, I'd better get on—' 'It just seems such a shame.' Nancy eyes me inquis­itively. 'You two seemed so perfect! '

'I know we did.' I force a smile. 'Anyway. See you later.'

I head for the new coffee machine and am staring into space, trying to get my head round this, when a tremu­lous voice interrupts me.

'Emma? ' I look up and my heart sinks. It's Katie, staring at me as though I've grown three heads.

'Oh hi! ' I say, trying to sound breezy.

'Is it true? ' she whispers. 'Is it true? Because I won't believe it's true until I hear you say it with your own lips.'

'Yes, ' I say reluctantly. 'It's true. Connor and I have broken up.'

'Oh God.' Katie's breathing becomes quicker and quicker. 'Oh my God. It's true. Oh my God, oh my God, I really can't cope with this...'

Shit. She's hyperventilating. I grab an empty sugar bag and shove it over her mouth.

'Katie, calm down! ' I say helplessly. 'Breathe in... and out...'

'I've been having panic attacks all weekend, ' she manages, between breaths. 'I woke up last night in a cold sweat and I just thought to myself, if this is true, the world doesn't make sense any more. It simply makes no sense.'

'Katie, we broke up! That's all. People break up all the time.'

'But you and Connor weren't just people! You were the couple. I mean, if you can't make it, why should any of the rest of us bother even trying? '

'Katie, we weren't the couple! ' I say, trying to keep my temper. 'We were a couple. And it went wrong, and... and these things happen.'

'But—'

'And to be honest, I'd rather not talk about it.'

'Oh, ' she says, and stares at me over the bag. 'Oh God, of course. Sorry, Emma. I didn't... I just... you know, it was such a shock! '

'Come on, you haven't told me how your date with Phillip went yet, ' I say firmly. 'Cheer me up with some good news.'

Katie's breathing has gradually calmed, and she removes the bag from her face.

'Actually, it went really well, ' she says. 'We're going to see each other again! '

'Well there you go, ' I say encouragingly.

'He's so charming. And gentle. And we have the same sense of humour, and we like the same things.' A bashful smile spreads across Katie's face. 'In fact, he's lovely! '

'He sounds wonderful! You see? ' I squeeze her arm. 'You and Phillip will probably be a far better couple than Connor and I ever were. Do you want a coffee? '

'No thanks, I've got to go. We've got a meeting with Jack Harper about personnel. See you.'

'OK, see you, ' I say absently.

About five seconds later, my brain clicks into gear.

'Wait a second.' I hurry down the corridor and grab her shoulder. 'Did you just say Jack Harper? '

'Yes.'

'But... but he's gone. He left on Friday.'

'No he didn't. He changed his mind.'

I stare at her in disbelief.

'He changed his mind? '

'Yes.'

'So...' I swallow. 'So he's here? '

'Of course he's here! ' says Katie with a laugh. 'He's upstairs.'

Suddenly my legs won't work properly.

'Why...' I clear my throat, which has gone a little husky. 'Why did he change his mind? '

'Who knows? ' Katie shrugs. 'He's the boss. He can do what he likes, can't he? Mind you, he seems very down to earth.' She reaches into her pocket for a packet of gum, and offers it to me. 'He was really nice to Connor after he gave his little speech..."

I feel a fresh jolt.

'Jack Harper heard Connor's speech? About us breaking up? '

'Yes! He was standing right next to him.' Katie unwraps her gum. 'And afterwards he said something really nice like he could just imagine how Connor was feeling. Wasn't that sweet? '

I need to sit down. I need to think. I need to...

'Emma, are you OK? ' says Katie in dismay. 'God, I'm so insensitive—'

'No. It's fine, ' I say dazedly. 'I'm fine. I'll see you later.'

My mind is whirling as I walk into the marketing department.

This is not the way it was supposed to happen. Jack Harper was supposed to be back in America. He was supposed to have no idea that I went straight home from our conversation and chucked Connor.

I feel a smart of humiliation. He'll think I chucked Connor because of what he said to me in the lift, won't he? He'll think it was all because of him. Which it wasn't. It so wasn't.

At least, not completely...

Maybe that's why...

No. It's ridiculous to think that his staying has anything to do with me. Ridiculous. I don't know why I'm so jumpy.

As I near my desk, Artemis looks up from a copy of Marketing Week.

'Oh Emma. I was sorry to hear about you and Connor.'

'Thanks, ' I say. 'But I don't really want to talk about it if that's OK.'

'Fine, ' says Artemis. 'Whatever. I was just being polite.' She looks at a Post-It on her desk. 'There's a message for you from Jack Harper, by the way.'

'What? ' I start.

Shit. I didn't mean to sound so rattled. 'I mean, what is it? ' I add more calmly.

'Could you please take the -' She squints at the paper. '- the Leopold file to his office. He said you'd know what it was. But if you can't find it, it doesn't matter.'

I stare at her, my heart hammering in my chest.

The Leopold file.

It was just an excuse to get away from our desks...

It's a secret code. He wants to see me.

Oh my God. Oh my God.

I have never been more excited and thrilled and petrified. All at once.

I sit down and stare at my blank screen for a minute. Then with trembling fingers I take out a blank file. I wait until Artemis has turned away, then write 'Leopold' on the side of it, trying to disguise my hand­writing.

Now what do I do?

Well, it's obvious. I take it upstairs to his office.

Unless... Oh fuck. Am I being really, really stupid here? Is there a real Leopold file?

Hastily I go into the company database and do a quick search for 'Leopold'. But nothing comes up.

OK. I was right first time.

I'm about to push my chair back when I suddenly have a paranoid thought. What if someone stops me and asks what the Leopold file is? Or what if I drop it on the floor and everyone sees it's empty?

Quickly, I open a new document, invent a fancy letterhead and type a letter from a Mr Ernest P. Leopold to the Panther Corporation. I send it over to print, stroll over to the printer and whisk it out before anyone else can see what it is. Not that anyone else is remotely interested.

'Right, ' I say casually, tucking it into the cardboard folder. 'Well, I'll just take that file up, then.’

Artemis doesn't even raise her head.

As I walk along the corridors my stomach is churning, and I feel all prickly and self-conscious, as though everyone in the building must know what I'm doing. There's a lift waiting to go up, but I head for the stairs, firstly so I won't have to talk to anyone and secondly because my heart's beating so fast, I feel like I need to use up a bit of nervous energy.

Why does Jack Harper want to see me? Because if it's to tell me he was right all along about Connor, then he can just... he can just bloody well... Suddenly I have a flashback to that awful atmosphere in the lift, and my stomach turns over. What if it's really awkward? What if he's angry with me?

I don't have to go, I remind myself. He did give me an out. I could easily phone his secretary and say, 'Sorry, I couldn't find the Leopold file, ' and that would be the end.

For an instant I hesitate on the marble stairs, my fingers tightly clutching the cardboard. And then I carry on walking.

As I near the door of Jack's office I see that it's being guarded not by one of the secretaries, but by Sven.

Oh God. I know Jack has said he's his oldest friend, but I can't help it. I do find this guy creepy.

'Hi, ' I say. 'Er... Mr Harper asked me to bring up the Leopold file.'

Sven looks at me, and for an instant it's as if a little sil