Chapter twelve. Any lingering unease was dispelled as the three of them watched the show

ANY LINGERING UNEASE was dispelled as the three of them watched the show. Female impersonators were always popular, and the Cabaret troupe was exceptionally so. It was partly the elaborate costumes that ranged from outrageously flamboyant floor-length gowns with feathers and sequins and plunging necklines for some numbers to stylish evening dresses that would have befit any performer on a Las Vegas stage. In addition to the visual spectacle, the show tunes and popular songs were rendered with skill and consummate style. Some of the impersonators specialized in particular performers, such as Cher or Bette Midler or Celine Dion, much to the delight of the crowd. Jasmine, however, did not. She was not an impersonator in that sense. Her specialty was Billie Holiday-type torch songs, and she performed them straight – no jokes, no exaggerated costumes, nothing but talent, a great voice, and very excellent legs. The audience loved her.

It was difficult for Michael to reconcile that these women were men. There was no awkwardness of motion in the clinging sheaths and high, thin heels, no hint of beard to mar the flawless make-up, and no subtle shifting to suggest that the full bodices were anything but real. Tonight she watched Jasmine with particular interest, searching for bits of Jason. The transformation was remarkable. It wasn't the outward things -- the different hair color or style, the feminine body, the expertly applied lipstick or eyeliner. It was the sultry way Jasmine walked, confident and more than a little seductive, and the throaty voice that whispered an invitation with a simple 'hello', and the look in her eyes that said she knew just how hot she was.

" God, she is sexy, " Michael commented to no one in particular.

Sloan looked at her in surprise, and Sarah grinned.

" Yeah, and don't she just know it! " Sarah exclaimed with obvious pride.

" I seem to recall you weren't interested in women, " Sloan grumbled good-naturedly.

Sarah arched an eyebrow and laughed. " Jealous are we? "

That comment got Michael's attention. She had just assumed that since Sarah was with Jason that she was straight. But she was with Sloan and that didn't mean she wasn't, did it? One thing she was quite sure of, however, was that she did not like the idea that Sloan might be attracted to Sarah. She couldn't say exactly why.

" No point in being jealous, " Sloan continued. " Any way you look at it, I can't compete with Jasmine. I could never wear one of those dresses, I can't sing, and I'd kill myself in those shoes."

" Plus, there is the issue of Jason to consider, " Sarah said, suddenly serious. " I love Jasmine's sense of humor and spirit and wild streak, but what intrigues me is knowing that Jason is there somewhere, too. I really wanted to watch him dress tonight, to see him become her."

" I don't imagine he's ever done that, " Sloan remarked. " He's very private about it."

" It must be frightening for him to be so exposed, " Michael agreed.

Sarah was silent for a moment, considering what they had said. " I hadn't thought that he would be threatened by me seeing, " she said with a shake of her head. " Not very sensitive of me, I guess. I'm clearly not as tuned in to the subtleties of all of this as I thought."

" I'm certain that he just wants to be sure of your reaction first, " Michael said gently, sensing Sarah's self-criticism. " If he cares about you, it must be terrifying not knowing if you can accept this part of him."

Sloan stared at Michael, wondering how she could grasp the heart of the issue so quickly. She watched as Michael leaned forward and took Sarah's hand, whispering gently, " Don't be discouraged. I'm sure he needs you to keep asking. Once he finally trusts you, he'll let you closer."

There was a tender warmth in Michael's gaze that softened her features and gave her an almost ethereal appearance. As quickly as she had been moved to desire a few moments earlier, Sloan was now touched by an emotion a great deal more dangerous. These glimpses of deep kindness and compassion captured Sloan's imagination and stirred her longing. Michael was beautiful in more than just body, however, and the depth of her gracious spirit warmed some long frozen place in Sloan's soul.

She looked away abruptly, wishing to break the spell. She could never remember being this affected by any other woman, and she was absolutely certain this would only lead to disaster. Michael Lassiter was a woman whose life was in turmoil, and she was not someone Sloan could simply take to bed and forget about the next day. Sloan reminded herself that since Michael showed no inclination toward that anyway, it was a moot point. Sloan grimaced in frustration and looked up with relief to see Jasmine approaching. She needed something to distract her from Michael's disconcerting nearness, and Jasmine filled the order nicely.

" Ah, the party is about to begin! " Jasmine declared as she rushed up breathlessly. She waved a hand in the direction of the stage, where a band was warming up and workers were clearing an area for dancing. She was still wearing the form-fitting red dress she had performed in, and she looked as elegant as any lady at the ball.

" Wonderful dress, " Sarah said by way of greeting.

Jasmine slipped into the seat between Sloan and Sarah, and turned to Sarah with a smile that was just a tiny bit shy. " Thank you, " she responded without a trace of her usual flirtatiousness. " I saw it in the window of a little boutique on my lunch hour one day, and I just knew it was meant for me."

Sarah wondered briefly who had purchased it, Jason or Jasmine, but decided that that was a question best asked when Jasmine felt a little more comfortable with her. " Well, you were right."

Jasmine smiled again, her cheeks flushing slightly, and turned to say her hellos to Michael and Sloan. The four of them chatted and commented on the who's who amongst the attendees for a few moments until the band began to play.

Then, Jasmine stood abruptly, grasping Sloan's hand. " Come on, baby, come dance with me."

For a moment, Sloan looked uncharacteristically disconcerted, then she shrugged helplessly and allowed Jasmine to pull her into the crowd on the dance floor. Michael and Sarah looked after them for second, then at each other and smiled.

" Poor Sloan, " Sarah laughed. " Jasmine just loves to tease her. She's the only one I've ever known who could catch Sloan off-guard. If I didn't know better, I'd actually say Sloan was flustered! "

" I think that's because Sloan finds Jasmine attractive. I can certainly see why, " Michael said with sudden insight, turning the idea over in her mind. She thought back to the story Sloan had told her about that first meeting with Jasmine, and realized that the two of them had a long and much more intimate relationship than she had ever realized. Sloan had admitted her attraction to Jasmine initially, but Michael assumed that once Sloan learned about Jason that the interest would be gone. Now, seeing Jasmine, she realized that wasn't necessarily true. Jasmine was seductive and charming and female to all appearances, so why wouldn't Sloan be affected by her attentions.

It was Sarah's turn to be surprised. " You're right. I'm amazed I didn't see it myself." She looked at Michael with new respect.

Michael smiled. " This is all so new to me, I have no preconceived notions of how it all works. Sloan is a lesbian, Jasmine is a sexy woman. Ergo –" She laughed, lifting her hands into the air in mock surrender.

" Does that bother you? Sloan's response to her, I mean? " Sarah asked, curious about exactly what was happening between Michael and Sloan.

Michael laughed a little self-consciously, wondering if Sarah was reading her mind. When she had watched Jasmine take Sloan's hand and so effortlessly lead her away, for one instant she had been jealous. Jasmine was very attractive, and the two of them looked good together. Even reminding herself that Jasmine wasn't, well, exactly all she seemed hadn't erased the slight twinge of envy when she had seen Jasmine step into Sloan's arms. She shook her head, very aware that Sarah was waiting for her response, and also aware that her thoughts were wandering down paths too fantastic to contemplate. " It's none of my business whom Sloan finds attractive, " she said as lightly as she could. " Although I couldn't help but wonder if it bothers you that Jasmine and Sloan are, well, interested or -- whatever."

Sarah looked contemplative. " Actually, I think Jason has a little crush on Sloan, but has always known nothing could come of it. Him being a he and all. Jasmine on the other hand is free to flirt with Sloan outrageously, which she does at every opportunity." She grinned at the absurdity of the entire conversation, but continued on gamely. " That makes me a bit jealous, I guess. Since I, unlike Sloan, wouldn't mind taking Jason to bed at all."

" What about Jasmine? Would you take her to bed, too? " Michael asked before she realized she might be overstepping the limits of her brief acquaintance with the other woman. " I'm sorry – that was awfully personal."

" No, " Sarah said, with a shake of her head. " Don't worry. And don't think I haven't considered that very question. Women in general don't usually turn me on – well, Sloan a bit, maybe –"

" God – is there anyone she doesn't turn on? " Michael blurted, then immediately regretted it as she blushed furiously.

Sarah pretended not to notice her embarrassment, and continued, " But Sloan and I resolved that issue years ago. Then along comes Jason, whom I liked the minute I met, as well as thinking he had the nicest butt I'd seen on a guy in years." She grinned at the memory. She had stood in the office waiting room of Sloan Security nearly open-mouthed in amazement while Jason had lectured Sloan about being on time for the afternoon appointments, and threatening her with bodily harm if she dared put off her final report to Somebody, Somebody and Somebody that was due the next morning. She expected Sloan to annihilate him at the very least, but Sloan had merely growled something that sounded a lot like 'okay' and stomped out. Jason had winked at Sarah, his impossibly blue eyes sparkling with delight, and she had gotten warm and wet in places that didn't usually feel that way at one o'clock in the afternoon.

" Sarah? " Michael asked, confused by the slightly vacant look on Sarah's face and the long silence.

Sarah jumped, then smiled self-consciously. " Oh, sorry. Anyhow -- then I meet Jasmine at the club and thought she was funny and outrageous, and I liked her a lot, too. When I found out the connection, it was just so amazing. The more I saw of them, the more I thought of them as two people, but not totally separate. So when I think about Jasmine –" She hesitated, then put into words what she had been avoiding, even in her own mind. " When I think about undressing her, and finding Jason there somewhere, it makes me pretty hot."

Michael shook her head. " It certainly makes the usual arrangements seem pretty boring! "

Sarah looked at her for a second, then grinned as she realized that Michael understood exactly what she had been saying. " God, it’s nice to find someone who gets it! I've haven't known how to talk about it to anyone without having it sound too bizarre."

" One thing I've discovered in the last few weeks is that nothing that I thought I knew about life, or myself, is necessarily true, " Michael said with a touch of regret. " Least of all what being with someone is all about. Or even the why and the how of it all."

" I think what they say about falling in love when you least expect it, and with the most unexpected person, just might be true, " Sarah responded quietly. She had heard the edge of pain in Michael's voice.

" I think you're right about that, " Michael said as she watched Sloan and Jasmine dancing. Funny, that they should look so good together when it was all illusion. She wondered at her own bewilderment and confusion. Was that what it had been with her and Jeremy? All just illusion?