Saturday 23 September

9st, alcohol units 0, cigarettes 0 (v.v.g.), draft replies written to Mark Darcy’s invitation 14 (but at least has replaced imaginary conversations with Daniel).

10 a.m. Right. I am going to reply to Mark Darcy’s invitation and say quite clearly and firmly that I will be unable to attend. There is no reason why I should go. I am not a close friend or relation, and would have to miss both Blind Date and Casualt y.

Oh God, though. It is one of those mad invitations written in the third person, as if everyone is so posh that to acknowledge directly in person that they were having a party and wondered if you would like to come would be like calling the ladies’ powder room the toilet. Seem to remember from childhood am supposed to reply in same oblique style as if I am imaginary person employed by self to reply to invitations from imaginary people employed by friends to issue invitations. What to put?

Bridget Jones regrets that she will be unable...

Miss Bridget Jones is distraught, that she will be unable...

Devastated does not do justice to the feelings of Miss Bridget Jones...

It is with great regret that we must announce that so great was

Miss Budget Jones’s distress at not being able to accept the

kind invitation of Mr. Mark Darcy that she has topped herself

and will therefore, more certainly than ever, now, be unable to

accept Mr. Mark Darcy’s kind...

Ooh: telephone.

It was Dad: “Bridget, my dear, you are coming to the horror event next Saturday, aren’t you? ”

“The Darcys’ ruby wedding, you mean.”

“What else? It’s been the only thing that has distracted your mother from the question of who’s getting the mahogany ornament cabinet and nesting coffee tables since she got the Lisa Leeson interview at the beginning of August.”

“I was kind of hoping to get out of it.”

The line went quiet at the other end.

“Dad? ”

There was a muffled sob. Dad was crying. I think Dad is having a nervous breakdown. Mind you, if I’d been married to Mum for thirty-nine years I’d have had a nervous breakdown, even without her running off with a Portuguese tour operator.

“What’s wrong, Dad? ”

“Oh, it’s just... Sony. It’s just... I was hoping to get out of it too.”

“Well, why don’t you? Hurray. Let’s go to the pictures instead.”

“It’s... ” he broke down again. “It’s the thought of her going with that greasy beperfumed bouffant wop, and all my friends and colleagues of forty years saying ‘cheers’ to the pair of them and writing me off as history.”

“They won’t... ”

“Oh yes, they will. I’m determined to go, Bridget. I’m going to get on my glad rags and hold my head up high and... but... ” Sobs again.

“What? ”

“I need some moral support.”

A.m.

Miss Bridget Jones has great pleasure...

Ms. Bridget Jones thanks Mr. Mark Darcy for his...

It is with great pleasure that Miss Bridget Jones accepts...

Oh, for God’s sake.

Dear Mark,

Thank you for your invitation to your ruby wedding party for Malcolm and Elaine. I would love to come.

Yours, Bridget Jones

Hmmm.

Yours, Bridget

or just

Bridget

Bridget (Jones)

Right. Will just copy it out neatly and check spellings then send it.

a) What has changed in Bridget’s life? Is Daniel still her boyfriend?

b) What do we learn about Bridget’s mother? How does Bridget’s dad feel?

c) Why did Bridget first reject and then accept Mark Darcy’s invitation?

2. Analyse the language of the extracts. What is peculiar of the syntax and vocabulary of a diary?

3. Think of a possible ending for this story. What will happen to the characters of this book in the end?

4. Read some extracts from articles about “ Bridget Jones’s Diary” and do the tasks below.