Tawanna Sullivan

Raina is my best friend—and I hate her. We’ve known each other for over ten years. If there was anyone who would have my back, it would be her.

Everything was fine until Raina started dating my next girl. The next girl is the woman you have your eye on while you’re trying to break up with your current girl. Jelisa Friday is a goddess. I’m not just talking about her smooth velvet voice or her delicious chocolate curves. She’s the kind of woman who can smile at you and all of your worries just fall away. She’s smart, sexy, and should have been mine.

I had been laying the groundwork with Jelisa for a few weeks. I still had love for Stephanie, but things hadn’t been working out for a while. Going home to her was like going into a war zone. I had timed it so that the transition from Steph to Jelisa would be seamless.

Now, let me set the scene for you. Stephanie and I are at the Allegro to cheer on one of her coworkers in the Mr. Gay USA competition. The house lights are down low and a dude in a thong is on stage flexing his muscles. Suddenly, Jelisa walks into the room and it’s like the whole world stops. Yes, even the men all paused. I didn’t hug her as usual—I’m not going to disrespect Steph to her face—but I made space for her at our table. That’s when I turned around and saw Raina beside her.

Neither announced they were on a date, but their actions proved it. Throughout the whole evening, there were sly touches on the arm and whispers. Jelisa loved the attention. They barely acknowledged our presence at all. After Mr. Gay USA had been crowned, Raina took her to some dark corner to do God knows what.

I couldn’t believe it. My best girl had stolen my next girl and there was nothing I could say about it.

Raina is a notorious playa; no woman can hold her attention for long. So, it didn’t surprise me when cracks started appearing in their relationship. We were back at the Allegro playing pool. I had just finished a new version of my Stephanie-is-getting-on-my-last-nerve rant, when Raina finally dropped the bombshell. “Jelisa is starting to move a little too fast for me.” Then she leaned over and ever so gently tapped the three ball into the right corner pocket.

I stepped back, took a sip of my whiskey sour, and nodded for her to continue. “She gave me a set of house keys, ” Raina complained. “She’s expecting me to give her a key, too. My mother doesn’t even have the key to my place.” She tossed down a few peanuts and with a bank shot sunk the seven into a side pocket. “Narcia, this girl is talking domestic partnership. I’m just trying to make it to a six month anniversary.”

It was clear that Jelisa was about to get her feelings trampled on and I, Narcia, didn’t care. Served her ass right for not being patient and waiting for me.

Since I didn’t say anything—hey, I’m not Dr. Phil—Raina kept “processing” her feelings. Shot after shot, she whined about how she was nervous about settling down. “Honestly, I’m not trying to run away this time.”

At the end of the game, all Raina had to do was hit the eight ball into the right back pocket. Anyway, that’s the pocket any normal person would have chosen. A few other women had gathered around to cheer her on and she wasn’t about to disappoint her fans. She pointed her cue at the front left pocket. “Eight ball in the corner, ” she announced and everyone “oohed” and “aahed” on cue.

When she slid the stick behind her back and winked at me, I looked away in disgust. Next thing I knew, everyone was clapping and Raina had a mini entourage escorting her to the bar.

That’s when I started thinking about how Raina never missed an opportunity to humiliate me. She’s a better pool player than me, so why the fancy shots? Just because she could. Raina knew how I felt about Jelisa and had no business stepping to her like that. She could have had any girl she wanted, but she had to take my next girl.

As you can see, that shit started eating me up on the inside. The idea hit me on the cab ride home. Why should Raina always have it her way? What if she was the one who got dumped? Even better, what if I stole Jelisa back…

This time was going to be different. I could do it all: get my next girl, make Steph my ex-girl, and burn my trifling best friend. The best part? Raina was going to help me do it.

Every woman, gay or straight, secretly suspects that her lover has or will cheat. It was easy to plant seeds of doubt. When Raina and I went to a football game, I would sneak out of the stands and make a call. “Jelisa, where’s your girl? She was supposed to meet me in front of the stadium a half-hour ago. Oh wait, here she comes.” Before I got back to my seat, Raina’s cell was going off.

During the next round of the pool tournament, I pretended to have a low battery and asked to borrow Raina’s phone. I put it in my pocket and conveniently “forgot” about it. Ms. Hustler was too busy performing tricks to realize it was missing. Jelisa had called five times during the night. When confronted, Raina simply told the truth and got chewed out for it.

I didn’t see Raina again until Steph decided to have a 70s throwback party. Her vision was to turn the basement into a disco and the first floor into a lounge. I recruited Raina to be the bartender and Jelisa volunteered to help Stephanie with the food. When Raina walked in I almost didn’t recognize her. She used to greet everyone with a smile and a hug. This time she didn’t even look us in the eyes. She just nodded her head and stood off to the side. You would have thought she was sick or something.

Steph had prepared lunch for us, but Raina wanted to get started. It was like she couldn’t wait to get up from under Jelisa. We’d just finished putting up the speakers, when the cooking crew announced they were making a grocery run. The door slammed shut behind them and it was like a weight fell off of Raina’s shoulders. “Jelisa acts like I’m fucking somebody if I’m out of her sight for two minutes.” She popped the caps off of two wine coolers and passed one to me. “Get this, I’m not doing anything. I go from work to Jelisa’s house. If I go home to my apartment, she either calls twenty times for nothing or shows up at my doorstep because she misses me. How do I have time to cheat? ”

While my best friend was fighting back tears, I had to take a quick sip to stop myself from breaking into nervous laughter. Honestly, I felt guilty. I thought Jelisa would dump her and Raina would feel the sting but bounce back. I offered her some practical advice. “Why don’t you just leave her? You’ve gotten so wrapped up in this chick that you are losing yourself.”

“I love her. She wasn’t this person when I met her. I want to get the real Jelisa back.”

True to form, once the party started Jelisa was right at the bar monitoring Raina’s interactions. She was like a guard dog, ready to accidentally bump or shove aside any woman who was being too friendly. Everyone knew something was wrong and Steph was two seconds from going off on Jelisa herself.

As usual, it was up to me to save the day. I put on Donna Summer’s “Bad Girls, ” grabbed Jelisa’s hand, and forced her to dance. It’s like the entire crowd sighed in relief. The whole room was shaking its groove thing.

My boy Carlos took over the turntables for me so I could go outside for a minute. My little polyester suit was drenched with sweat. I was holding a cold bottle of water to my forehead when I heard the screen door open and close behind me. It was a slightly tipsy Jelisa.

“What are you doing out here by yourself? ” she asked.

I thought it was obvious, but I played along. “Trying to keep cool.”

“That’s not how you do it.” She took the water out of my hand, opened it, and took a good, healthy drink. She pushed herself against me; we were so close I could feel her heart beating. Her cool lips grazed my cheek and lingered there before kissing my neck. A cold chill went through my arms and legs but that triangle between my nipples and my pussy was on fire. The different sensations jangled my nerves and I had to grab the rail to steady myself. Jelisa smirked and went back inside.

Damn, I thought to myself, she’s looking for the next girl.

There was a change after the party. Jelisa began calling me on my cell just to shoot the breeze. The longer I thought about it, the more my sympathy for Raina’s situation faded. If she didn’t have enough sense to leave a woman who was treating her bad, it’s not my fault. Besides, it was time that the scales of fate tip back in my favor.

Turns out I didn’t have the upper hand at all. I was going to the Chambres Shopping Center and cut through the Franklin Square Condo development. It’s an exclusive community that has its own security to keep undesirables out, but I knew all of the guards. When Raina was dating Trina, we hung out there all the time.

I had almost made it to the underpass when I ran into Officer Blabbermouth. She knows everybody’s business and has no problem broadcasting it. Soon as she saw me, she started grinning from ear to ear. “Narcia, how you been? It’s about time you showed up.”

“I’m okay. What do you mean? ”

“Your buddy is already at Trina’s place. Is there a party going on tonight? ”

“Yeah, I guess so.”

When I finally managed to get away from her, I took a detour to Trina’s townhouse. I’ll be damned if Raina wasn’t walking out of the house. Trina was standing in the doorway pulling her bathrobe closed. They exchanged a few words and then kissed like she was going off to war or something. I looked over at the clock tower. It was 5: 30. Raina was working overtime alright.

Stephanie didn’t have dinner ready when I got home, but I was too agitated to eat. Raina was acting like she was one argument away from a nervous breakdown, but she had been phasing Jelisa out. How long had she been talking to Trina? What really fucked with me is that I didn’t know anything about it. We were supposed to be closer than sisters and she hadn’t said shit to me.

It was really time to knock Raina down off of her high horse, and I wanted her to know it was me who threw the punch. When Jelisa got home from work the next day, she found me sitting on her front steps.

“Narcia? What’s up? Did something happen to Raina? ”

I took a deep breath. “Something has been weighing heavy on my heart and I’ve got to come clean about it.” Hers eyes welled up as I continued. “You should know what’s going on.”

A few minutes later we were sitting in her den and the tears were flowing freely. All I did was tell the truth. “I caught them in the act. They were nearly fucking in the doorway. Raina’s hands were all up under that robe. I knew you suspected something, but I didn’t want to say anything until I knew for sure.”

Jelisa started wailing. “I hate that bitch.”

I got a tissue and started wiping her cheeks. “Nah, girl. Don’t scrunch up your face like that. You are too beautiful to go into hysterics over anyone.” I started stroking her chin and she moved closer to me and put her head on my shoulder.

“I tried so hard, ” she said. “What’s wrong with me? ”

“You’re a good woman and you deserve better.” Now, I had rehearsed this all night, but something unexpected came out of my mouth next. “I should have just gotten rid of Stephanie instead of asking you to wait. None of this shit would have happened if I had treated you with the respect you deserve. I’m sorry.”

I meant it, too. There was just something about seeing Jelisa weak and vulnerable. I wanted to put my arms around her and protect her from the entire world. Raina had done her dirty, but I was the one who had made her cry.

I raised her chin to kiss her forehead. Then, I was kissing the tears from her eyes. Her lips touched mine…In that moment, it wasn’t about Raina, Stephanie or anybody else. Both of us had an emptiness that needed to be filled.

Her bold move at the party should have been a clue that she wasn’t a pillow queen, but I was caught off guard when she pulled me on top of her. I continued kissing her tears away and she gently raked her nails across my stomach. I was trying to work the buttons on her blouse, but she got my shirt off first and began sucking my nipples.

I tried to pull away, but Jelisa had a damn good grip on my khakis. She was fighting to pull my zipper down. “Let me touch you in all the places your girl won’t.” Next thing I knew, her hand had slipped inside of my boxers and was massaging my pussy.

When she parted my lips, the hot, sticky pool that had welled up inside of me flooded her fingers and my clit. Jelisa was gently stroking my outer walls, trying to find the way inside. I jerked myself away just as she was about to enter. I felt like I was going to fucking collapse.

I could barely catch my breath. “Nah, babygirl, this is about you.”

Slipping down to the floor, I nudged her legs apart. There is nothing sexier than a woman in stockings. When her body is trembling and that nylon is roughly sliding against your tongue, it feels damn good. I swung her right leg over my left shoulder and rubbed my cheek against her thigh. Her essence was intoxicating.

I nibbled my way down to her garter and stopped as she lifted herself to meet me. Jelisa never wore underwear—she made that quite apparent when we first met. My nose nuzzled against her clit and she jumped. “Come on, baby, ” she begged. “Don’t tease it.”

We settled into an easy rocking rhythm as I tasted and teased her lips. My tongue had just curled around her clit, when the front door opened.

Bam! I was on the floor. Jelisa pushed her skirt back down, buttoned up her blouse, and went out to meet Raina.

I just sat there; stunned. It was the one night Raina decided not to work late. A minute hadn’t passed before the shouting began. “I’m tired of you accusing me of shit I haven’t done! ”

I got dressed, went into the kitchen and tried to wash the scent of Jelisa from my face. Instead of hiding, I decided to stroll into the living room as innocently as possible. Of course, I picked the worst fucking possible moment. Jelisa was crying again and waving her arms frantically. “You spent the entire afternoon with her.”

Raina’s voice had returned to normal, but the way her jaw was clenched you knew she could fly off again any second. “I told you I needed to stop by her house to drop off some paperwork. I got there around four and didn’t stay for more than five minutes.”

“You left her house at five-thirty! Somebody saw you.”

“Who? ”

“It doesn’t make a difference who. You are busted! ”

That’s when my size nines walked into the living room and they both turned to look at me. Jelisa was still screaming, but my eyes were locked with Raina’s. “You’re my girl and everything, ” I said, “but wrong is wrong. I saw you kissing Trina and I didn’t think Jelisa should be kept in the dark.”

Raina didn’t even blink. “You had to tell her in person, so that you could be here to comfort her? ”

Jelisa didn’t appreciate being ignored and stepped right up in Raina’s face. “If you had been where you were supposed to be, none of this would have happened.”

“Okay, fine.” Raina pulled out her cell phone and stepped out on the porch.

I walked over to Jelisa, but she wouldn’t even look at me. “You have soap on your chin, ” she said.

When Raina came back inside, she put a key on the bookcase. “I don’t need this any more.” Jelisa started to say something, but Raina wasn’t having it. “You could have at least waited to ask me about it first, but you’ve been looking for any excuse to fuck my so-called friend, right? ”

The tissue Jelisa had been using had disintegrated and she was wiping her running makeup with the back of her hand. “Why are you always blaming other people for your mistakes? ”

“Let’s go for a ride.” A smirk slowly spread across Raina’s face and she issued a challenge to me. “Come on, Narcia. Why don’t you show us exactly what you saw? ”

Before I could say anything, Jelisa was back to yelling. “I don’t want to talk to Trina. That bitch would say anything for you.”

Raina never took her eyes off of me. “No, she wouldn’t. Besides, I’m not about to drag her into this mess. I just want to show you that Narcia couldn’t possibly have seen what she told you.”

This seemed too good to be true. Raina wasn’t even fighting to keep her girl, but I didn’t appreciate her trying to throw the spotlight back on me. I figured she was bluffing, so I decided to take her up on it. “Jelisa, I know what I saw. Your ex-girl is just trying to save face.” Then, I nodded to Raina. “Let’s go.”

I thought Raina was going to punk out at the last minute, but we were zooming down I-83 before I could button my jacket. She made both of us sit in the back. There were no more tears, but Jelisa alternated between staring at the back of Raina’s head and glaring at me.

At night, the Franklin Square area was deserted. We parked on the street and walked to the same corner I had seen them from. I pointed out Trina’s townhouse. “See, I have a perfect view. You can see the whole courtyard from this spot.”

The fire came back into Jelisa’s eyes. “This ain’t nothing but some bullshit. Don’t waste my time. All the crap you have left at my house will be sitting outside in the morning. It’s trash day, so you better get it early.”

Raina smiled at me and then turned to Jelisa. “Why don’t you ask your new girl what time it is? ”

Jelisa was confused. “What? It’s seven-thirty. What does that have to do with anything? ”

I looked up at the clock tower. It was still five-thirty. I made this gargling sound; words were caught in my throat. That’s when Jelisa started screaming at me. She had seen it, too.

Raina started laughing. “That clock hasn’t worked in months, so it’s always five-thirty in Franklin Square.”

Jelisa was bawling her eyes out and punching me in the chest. Then, Stephanie’s car pulled up. It clicked—that’s who Raina had called.

As my best friend drove away, I could feel the gates of hell closing in on me.