Ñòóäîïåäèÿ

Ãëàâíàÿ ñòðàíèöà Ñëó÷àéíàÿ ñòðàíèöà

ÊÀÒÅÃÎÐÈÈ:

ÀâòîìîáèëèÀñòðîíîìèÿÁèîëîãèÿÃåîãðàôèÿÄîì è ñàäÄðóãèå ÿçûêèÄðóãîåÈíôîðìàòèêàÈñòîðèÿÊóëüòóðàËèòåðàòóðàËîãèêàÌàòåìàòèêàÌåäèöèíàÌåòàëëóðãèÿÌåõàíèêàÎáðàçîâàíèåÎõðàíà òðóäàÏåäàãîãèêàÏîëèòèêàÏðàâîÏñèõîëîãèÿÐåëèãèÿÐèòîðèêàÑîöèîëîãèÿÑïîðòÑòðîèòåëüñòâîÒåõíîëîãèÿÒóðèçìÔèçèêàÔèëîñîôèÿÔèíàíñûÕèìèÿ×åð÷åíèåÝêîëîãèÿÝêîíîìèêàÝëåêòðîíèêà






Twenty-Nine






JANUARY, FEBRUARY, MARCH, APRIL. THE MONTHS SORT of ran together. School was okay. I studied. I worked out. I ran with Legs. I worked at the Charcoaler. I played hide-and-seek with Ileana. Or rather she played hide-and-seek with me. I just didn’t get her.

Some Friday nights, I’d drive my truck out into the desert after work. I’d lie in the bed of my pickup and look out at the stars.

One day I just flat out asked Ileana to go out on a date. I was tired of the flirting thing. It wasn’t working anymore. “Let’s just go to a movie, ” I said. “You know, maybe hold hands.”

“I can’t, ” she said.

“You can’t? ”

“Not ever.”

“So why’d you kiss me then? ”

“Because you’re good-looking.”

“That’s the only reason? ”

“And you’re nice.”

“So what’s the problem? ” I was beginning to figure out that Ileana was playing a game that I just didn’t like.

Sometimes she would come by the Charcoaler on Friday nights when I was closing up and we would sit in my pickup and talk. But we really didn’t talk about anything important. She was even more private than I was.

There was this prom thing coming up and I thought maybe I’d ask her to go. It didn’t matter that she’d turned me down already. And wasn’t she the one coming to see me at the Charcoaler? A couple of weeks before the prom, she showed up at the Charcoaler as I was closing up. We sat in my truck. “So you want to go the prom with me? ” I said. I was trying to sound confident but I don’t think it came out exactly right.

“I can’t, ” she said.

“Okay, ” I said.

“Okay? ”

“Yeah, it’s okay.”

“Don’t you want to know why, Ari? ”

“If you wanted to tell me why, you’d tell me.”

“Okay, I’ll tell you why I can’t go.”

“You don’t have to.”

“I have a boyfriend, Ari.”

“Oh, ” I said. I said it like nothing. “So I’m just, this, well, what am I, Ileana? ”

“You’re a guy I like.”

“Okay, ” I said. I heard Gina’s voice in my head. She’s just toying with you.

“He’s in a gang, Ari.”

“Your boyfriend? ”

“Yeah. And if he knew I was here, something bad would happen to you.”

“I’m not afraid.”

“You should be.”

“Why don’t you just break up with him? ”

“It’s not that easy.”

“Why? ”

“You’re a good boy, you know that, Ari? ”

“Yeah, well, that sucks, Ileana. I don’t want to be a good boy.”

“Well, you are. I love that about you.”

“Well, here’s the thing, ” I said, “I get to be the good boy. And the gang guy gets the girl. I don’t like this movie.”

“You’re mad. Don’t be mad.”

“Don’t tell me not to be mad.”

“Ari, please don’t be mad.”

“Why did you kiss me? Why did you kiss me, Ileana? ”

“I shouldn’t have. I’m sorry.” She just looked at me. Before I could say anything else, she got out of my truck.

On Monday, I looked for her at school. But I could never find her. I got Gina and Susie on the case. They were good detectives. Gina came back with a report, “Ileana dropped out of school.”

“Why? ”

“She just did, Ari.”

“Can she do that? Isn’t it against the law or something? ”

“She’s a senior, Ari. She’s eighteen. She’s an adult. She can do whatever she wants.”

“She doesn’t know what she wants.”

I found her address. Her dad’s number was listed in the book. I went to her house and knocked on her door. Her brother came out. “Yeah? ” He just looked at me.

“I’m looking for Ileana.”

“What do you want her for? ”

“She’s a friend. From school.”

“Friend? ” He just kept nodding his head. “Look, vato, she got married.”

“What? ”

“She got knocked up. She married the guy.”

I didn’t know what to say. So I didn’t say anything at all.

I sat in my truck that night with Legs. I kept thinking that I took this kissing way too seriously. I promised myself that I was going to become the world’s most casual kisser.

Kissing didn’t mean a damn thing.

 

 

Thirty

DEAR ARI,

Seven to one. That’s the ratio of Dante Letters to Ari Letters. Just so you know. When I get back this summer, I’m going to take you swimming and drown you. Almost drown you. Then I’ll give you mouth-to-mouth and revive you. How does that sound? Sounds good to me. Am I freaking you out yet?

So on the business of kissing. This girl who’ve I’ve been experimenting with. I mean with the kisses. She’s a good kisser. She’s taught me a lot in that department. But she finally said to me, “Dante, I think that when you kiss me, you’re kissing someone else.”

“Yeah, ” I said. “Guess so.”

“Are you kissing another girl? Or are you kissing a boy? ”

I thought that was a very interesting and forward question.

“A boy, ” I said.

“Anyone I know? ” she asked.

“No, ” I said. “I think I’m just making up a boy in my head.”

“Any boy? ”

“Yeah, ” I said. “A good-looking boy.”

“Well, yeah, ” she said. “As good-looking as you? ”

I shrugged. It’s nice that she thought I was good-looking. We’re friends now. And it’s nice because now I don’t feel like I’m leading her on. And anyway, she confessed to me that the only reason she liked kissing me at all those parties was because she was trying to make this guy she really likes jealous. That made me laugh. She said it wasn’t working. “Maybe he’d rather be kissing you than me, ” she said. Ha, ha, I said. I didn’t know which guy she was talking about but to tell you the honest truth, Ari, even though it’s been a real trip hanging out with privileged Chicago kids who can afford lots of beer and liquor and pot, they’re really not all that interesting. Not to me anyway.

I want to go back home.

That’s what I told my mom and dad. “Can we go now? Are we done here? ” Of course, my dad, who can be a real wise ass, looks me straight in the eyes and says: “I thought you hated El Paso? Isn’t that what you said when I told you we were moving to El Paso? You said: “Just shoot me, Dad.”

I know what he was after. He wanted me to say I was wrong. Well, I looked right back at him and said: “I was wrong, Dad. Are you happy? ”

He gets this grin on his face. “Happy about what, Dante? ”

“Happy that I was wrong? ”

He kissed me on the cheek and said, “Yeah, I’m happy, Dante.”

The thing is I love my dad. My mom too. And I keep wondering what they’re going to say when I tell them that someday I want to marry a boy. I wonder how that’s going to go over? I’m the only son. What’s going to happen with the grandchildren thing? I hate that I’m going to disappoint them, Ari. I know I’ve disappointed you too.

I’m a little worried that we won’t be friends when I get back. I guess I have to deal with these things. I hate lying to people, Ari. I especially hate lying to my parents. You know how I feel about them.

I guess I’m just going to tell my dad. I have this little speech. It starts something like this. “Dad, I have something to say to you. I like boys. Don’t hate me. Please don’t hate me. I mean, Dad, you’re a boy too.” The speech doesn’t really fit together very well. It needs some work. It sounds too needy. I hate that. I don’t want to be needy. Just because I’m playing for the other team doesn’t mean that I’m this pathetic human being who’s begging to be loved. I have more self-respect than that.

Yeah, I know, I’m droning on and on. Three more weeks and I’ll be home. Home. Another summer, Ari. You think we’re too old to play in the streets? Probably. Maybe not. Look, I just want you to know that I don’t want you to feel like you have to be my friend when I get back. I’m not exactly best-friend material, am I?

Your friend,

Dante

P.S. It would be very weird not be friends with the guy who saved your life, don’t you think? Am I breaking the rules?

 

 


Ïîäåëèòüñÿ ñ äðóçüÿìè:

mylektsii.su - Ìîè Ëåêöèè - 2015-2024 ãîä. (0.01 ñåê.)Âñå ìàòåðèàëû ïðåäñòàâëåííûå íà ñàéòå èñêëþ÷èòåëüíî ñ öåëüþ îçíàêîìëåíèÿ ÷èòàòåëÿìè è íå ïðåñëåäóþò êîììåð÷åñêèõ öåëåé èëè íàðóøåíèå àâòîðñêèõ ïðàâ Ïîæàëîâàòüñÿ íà ìàòåðèàë