Act two, scene eleven

HOGWARTS, DEFENSE AGAINST THE DARK ARTS CLASSROOM

ALBUS enters the classroom — slightly unsure.

HERMIONE: Ah yes. Our train absconder. Finally joining us.

ALBUS: Hermione?

He looks amazed. HERMIONE is standing at the front of the lesson.

HERMIONE: Professor Granger I believe is my name, Potter.

ALBUS: What are you doing here?

HERMIONE: Teaching. For my sins. What are you doing here? Learning, I hope.

ALBUS: But you’re... you’re... Minister for Magic.

HERMIONE: Been having those dreams again, have you, Potter? Today we’re going to look at Patronus Charms.

ALBUS (amazed): You’re our Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher?

There are titters.

HERMIONE: Losing patience now. Ten points from Gryffindor for stupidity.

POLLY CHAPMAN (standing, full of affront): No. No. He’s doing it deliberately. He hates Gryffindor and everyone knows it.

HERMIONE: Sit down, Polly Chapman, before this gets even worse. (POLLY sighs and then sits.) And I suggest you join her, Albus. And end this charade.

ALBUS: But you’re not this mean.

HERMIONE: And that’s twenty points from Gryffindor to assure Albus Potter that I am this mean.

YANN FREDERICKS: If you don’t sit down right now, Albus...

ALBUS sits.

ALBUS: Can I just say —

HERMIONE: No, you can’t. Just keep quiet, Potter, otherwise you’ll lose what limited popularity you already have. Now who can tell me what a Patronus is? No? No one. You really are a most disappointing bunch.

HERMIONE smiles a thin smile. She really is quite mean.

ALBUS: No. This is stupid. Where’s Rose? She’ll tell you that you’re being ridiculous.

HERMIONE: Who’s Rose? Your invisible friend?

ALBUS: Rose Granger-Weasley! Your daughter! (He realizes.) Of course — because you and Ron aren’t married Rose —

There’s giggling.

HERMIONE: How dare you! Fifty points from Gryffindor. And I assure you if anyone interrupts me again it’ll be a hundred points...

She stares around the room. No one moves a muscle.

Good. A Patronus is a magical charm, a projection of all your most positive feelings, and takes the shape of the animal with whom you share the deepest affinity. It is a gift of light. If you can conjure a Patronus, you can protect yourself against the world. Which, in some of our cases, seems like a necessity sooner rather than later.