Using Mindfulness to Deal with Overwhelming Emotions and Problems Managing Emotions

Going through a traumatic event can have a huge impact on how you experience and manage your emotions. After a traumatic event, your emotions may feel much more intense or out of control. They may change suddenly or without warning. In addition, as discussed previously, sometimes after a traumatic event, people have difficulty connecting with positive emotional experiences. This is called “emotional numbing.” However, negative emotions (for example, anger, sadness, and fear) may be experienced very strongly. A person may feel consumed by these emotions. As a result, emotions may be more difficult to manage.

When the volume is turned up on an emotion, it can be harder to sit with, tolerate, and manage that emotion. It may also be harder to control your behavior when emotions are very intense. Very intense emotions make you more likely to want to just get away from those emotions as quickly as possible, leading you to be more likely to engage in impulsive or risky behaviors. An impulsive behavior is any action that is done quickly and rashly, and with little thought about the potential consequences of engaging in that behavior. Such behaviors include substance use, deliberate self-­harm (for example, cutting or burning yourself), and binge eating. Although these behaviors work well in the short term at quickly reducing the intensity of an unpleasant emotion, they are associated with a number of long-­term negative consequences. Also, because they don’t really deal with the emotion (they just push it down or suppress it or distract you temporarily), the emotion that you were trying to get away from will come back, often stronger than before.

Fortunately, there are a number of DBT skills designed for tolerating and managing intense emotional experiences. These skills may be particularly helpful for someone who has experienced a traumatic event and is having difficulty managing or sitting with intense, unpleasant emotions.

One very effective way to cope when you’re having difficulty sitting with intense, unpleasant emotions is mindfulness. One mindfulness skill in particular can be especially helpful here. Dr. Marsha Linehan (1993b) calls this skill mindfulness of current emotion, and it involves simply stepping back, observing, and paying attention to the physical sensations of your current emotional state. We’re sure that this doesn’t sound like loads of fun when you’re struggling with intense, unwanted emotions, but paradoxically, by allowing yourself to enter into, watch, and experience your emotions, you might find that you are more likely to achieve freedom from them.

Sometimes, the only way to escape misery is to stop trying to escape misery and instead enter into and pay attention to it. Mindfully noticing and paying attention to your emotions can help you learn to better tolerate the unpleasant aspects of your emotions, so that the next time they arise, they feel more manageable and tolerable. The more you do this, the more you will notice that emotions don’t last forever; they usually wax and wane without your having to do anything to change or get rid of them. Also, if you get a lot of practice just sitting with and attending to your emotions and your urges to escape them, you might improve your ability to stop yourself from using impulsive behaviors to escape or avoid emotions (such as drinking, using drugs, self-­harming, having outbursts, and engaging in reckless behaviors).

Exercise 7.6 Pay Attention to and Notice Your Emotional State

The next time you have time and feel a moderately strong emotion (let’s say at least 6 on a scale where 0 means no emotion and 10 means the most intense emotion possible), find a quiet place to sit in an alert, upright position, with your feet flat on the ground.

1. Start by bringing your attention to your body, and notice where in your body you feel the emotion (Linehan 1993b). Scan your body from head to toe, paying attention to the sensations in each part of your body as you go. Spend about ten seconds on each area of your body, just stepping back in your mind, paying attention, and noticing your sensations. This exercise is similar to the body scan technique developed by Dr. Jon Kabat-­Zinn, an expert on mindfulness-­based treatment (Kabat-­Zinn 1990).

2. Once you have used your attention to scan your body, zero in on those parts of your body where you feel the emotion. For instance, you might feel tension in your shoulders and neck, an adrenaline rush in your chest, or a pounding or racing sensation in your heart. Zero in and focus on those areas where you feel the sensations of your emotion. Watch the sensations rise and fall as you would watch a wave on the ocean.

3. Keep focusing on the physical sensations of your emotion without escaping or avoiding them. Don’t allow yourself to try to get rid of the emotion, push it away, avoid it, or escape it, or to distract your mind with activities or thoughts. No avoidance allowed here. Simply watch these physical sensations as if they were waves on the ocean, noticing how they change, increase, or decrease. Do this for about five to ten minutes, or until the emotion subsides or you have to go do something else.