THE PROBLEM-SOLVING QUESTIONS

1. What is great about this problem?

2. What is not perfect yet?

3. What am I willing to do to make it the way I want it?

4. What am I willing to no longer do in order to make it the way I want it?

5. How can I enjoy the process while I do what is necessary to make it the way I want it?

Don't they understand I'm not a machine? Why don't I ever get a break? " You can imagine what kind of emotional state I was in at this point. Fortunately, in the midst of it I caught myself. I broke my pattern and realized that getting angrier wasn't going to make it any better; it was going to make it worse. My state was making me ask terrible questions.

I needed to change my state by asking some better questions. I turned to my checklist of problem-solving questions and began with,

1. " What is great about this problem? " My first response, like so many other times, was " Absolutely nothing! " But I thought about it for a moment and realized that just eight years ago I would have given anything to have twenty business associates and friends who wanted to visit with me, much less 100 people of such national impact and caliber that this list of friends and business associates represented. As I realized this, I started to laugh at myself, it broke my pattern, and I began to feel grateful that there were so many people whom I respect and love who wanted to spend time with me.

2. " What is not perfect yet? " My schedule obviously needed more than a little fine-tuning. 1 felt like I had no time to myself, and that my life was out of balance. Note the presupposition of this question: asking " What is not perfect yet? " clearly implies that things will be perfect. This question not only gives you new answers, but reassures you simultaneously.

3. " What am I willing to do to make it the way I want it? " I decided then that I was willing to organize my life and my schedule so that they were more balanced, and I was willing to take control and learn to say no to certain things. I also realized that I needed to hire a new CEO for one of my companies, someone who could handle some of my workload. This would give me more special time at home and with my family.

4. " What am I willing to no longer do in order to make it the way I want it? " I knew that I could no longer whine and complain about how unfair it all was or feel abused when people were really trying to support me.

5. " How can I enjoy the process while I do what is necessary to make it the way I want it? " When I asked this last, most important question, I looked around for a way to make it fun. I thought, " How can I enjoy making 100 calls? " Sitting there at my desk did not turn up the mental and emotional juice. Then I got an idea: I'd not been in my Jacuzzi in six months. I quickly slipped on my swim trunks, grabbed my portable computer and speaker phone, and headed for the Jacuzzi. I set up shop out in my back yard, and started making the calls. I called a few of my business associates in New York and teased them, saying, " Really, it's that cold? Hmmm. Well, it's really tough out here in California, you know. I'm sitting here in my Jacuzzi! " We all had fun with it and I managed to turn the whole " chore" into a game. (But I was so wrinkled that I looked about 400 years old by the time I got to the bottom of my list!)

That Jacuzzi is always in my back yard, but you'll notice that it took the right question to uncover it as a resource. By having the list of these five questions in front of you on a regular basis, you have a pattern of how to deal with problems that will instantly change your focus and give you access to the resources you need.

" He that cannot ask cannot live."

OLD PROVERB

Every morning when we wake up, we ask ourselves questions. When the alarm goes off, what question do you ask yourself? Is it, " How come I have to get up right now?, " " Why aren't there more hours in the day?, "

" What if I hit the snooze alarm just one more time? " And as you get in the shower, what are you asking yourself? " Why do I have to go to work?, " " How bad is the traffic going to be today?, " " What kind of stuff is going to be dumped on my desk today? " What if every day you consciously started asking a pattern of questions that would put you in the right frame of mind and that caused you to remember how grateful, happy, and excited you are? What kind of day do you think you'd have, with

those positive emotional states as your filter? Obviously it would affect how you feel about virtually everything.

Realizing this, I decided I needed a " success ritual, " and I created a series of questions that I ask myself every morning. The wonderful thing about asking yourself questions in the morning is that you can do it in the shower, while you're shaving or drying your hair, and so on. You're already asking questions anyway, so why not ask the right ones? I realized that there are certain emotions we all need to cultivate in order to be happy and successful individuals. Otherwise, you could be winning and feel like you're losing, if you don't keep score or take the time to feel how fortunate you are. So take the time now to review the following questions. Take a moment to deeply experience the feelings of each one.