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Chapter twenty. This is quite possibly the longest Friday in the history of mankind, Taylor thought with disgust as she glanced at the clock on her desk for the fifth time in






THIS IS QUITE possibly the longest Friday in the history of mankind, Taylor thought with disgust as she glanced at the clock on her desk for the fifth time in a half-hour.

She was nervous and excited and apprehensive and aroused all at once about her date that evening. Her entire body was humming with anticipation of such intensity; she was surprised the people in the cubicles around her didn't hear it.

Tonight was the night. She could feel it in her core. She would be with Melanie tonight. The physical possibilities of the evening had been playing out in her head all day long. God, she'd never wanted something so raw and primal in her life. She could almost hear Melanie's voice, teetering on the edge of ecstasy, a pitch or two higher than usual, quietly begging Taylor for release. She could imagine the beauty of Melanie's naked form under her own, glistening with sweat and passion...could hear her breath coming in ragged pants. The thought of the older woman's creamy soft skin beneath her fingers made her woozy, and she closed her eyes, gripping the edge of her desk to steady her nerves.

The emotional possibilities of the evening were what scared her. She'd tried to avoid thinking about them, but it was difficult. She felt so much already for this kindhearted, gentle woman who had simply appeared out of nowhere barely three weeks ago. It wasn't supposed to happen this fast, was it? They were supposed to be friends first. Isn't that how it worked? A person didn't just show up one day and make you fall in love with them, did they? Taylor had always scoffed at those people...the ones who got together in a matter of days. What was the matter with them, anyway? Didn't they know it was impossible to fall in love that quickly?

She hadn't fallen nearly as fast with Maggie. It had taken a lot of coaxing, a ton of reassuring, and a fair amount of good, old fashioned seduction before the smaller woman had won Taylor over. Taylor had been too practical, too organized, to throw caution to the wind and just let herself go. Maggie'd had her work cut out for her, trying to make Taylor fall for her... and Taylor had gone over that edge kicking and screaming. It had been months before she would even admit that love was, indeed, what she'd felt for Maggie.

So what was this two and a half weeks bullshit? Taylor cursed herself for not paying enough attention to what was going on.

She'd simply fallen while she wasn't looking. And there was no turning back now.

Taylor rested her head in her hands, leaning her elbows on the desk. Deep down inside, she knew she had to accept the truth.

In a scant two and a half weeks, she'd fallen head over heels, madly, irretrievably in love with Melanie Larson. Melanie Larson, a woman who, up until five days ago, had never even kissed a woman before.

Did she feel the same way about Taylor? Could she? Was it even possible? That was the scariest part for Taylor, the part that would make her blood run cold and her stomach churn if she dwelled on it too much. What if Melanie decided this wasn't right for her? What if she chalked Taylor up to a little bit of experimentation? What if she just wanted to see what it was like? What if she laughed at the depth of Taylor's own feelings, thinking she was silly and childish?

What if Melanie broke her heart?

The thought made bile rise in her throat, and she choked it back with effort, her fingers digging viciously into the foam stress ball on her desk. That's why I can't think about this, she told herself. Think positive. Think positive. Think positive.

She closed her eyes and a vision of Melanie came unbidden into her mind, causing her mouth to curl into a lopsided grin. She was smiling sweetly at Taylor, her blue eyes sparkling in the sunlight, streaks of gold and red combining together perfectly to make just the right shade of hair... a color she'd only ever seen on Melanie.

This is the woman I love.

The sentence warmed her heart and she tried mightily to concentrate on her work, willing the hours to pass as quickly as possible.

 

MELANIE HAD DONE her best to throw herself into her work. Most of the books from Jeff's inventory were gone now, most donated to libraries...not the most economical solution, but the quickest. The rest had been purchased by various stores around the state, and she'd shipped the last box out that morning. New books were arriving every day. She really needed a computer. There was no way she was going to use the paper route Jeff had taken. She knew she'd be much more organized and be able to keep infinitely better track of her inventory if she had it all on a database. She'd have to make a trip back to Chicago very soon. Maybe Taylor would want to tag along...

She'd received the new sign for the front of the shop a couple of hours ago. She wanted to surprise Taylor, so she kept it a secret from her. When she'd shown it to Lynda that morning, however, the café owner whooped with delight.

" The Quill is Mightier? That's a terrific name, " she'd stated, scrutinizing the color, which matched the new exterior of the shop perfectly. " And if you ask me, the majority of your feminists, as well as the lesbians, are Xena fans, so they'll know right away that this is a store for them. Not one of the better episodes, in my not-so-humble opinion, but a great name. Brilliant choice, Mel. I commend you."

That was first thing in the morning, when Melanie had thanked her friend for taking care of the Jeep, which sat parked neatly in the back parking lot. She'd brushed off any attempt by Lynda to discuss the previous night, not quite finished analyzing it herself and not quite ready to verbalize any of it.

There was a timid knock on the glass of the front door and Melanie couldn't help but giggle at the café owner, whose nose was pressed tightly against it. She stood with her hands on her hips, a mock-scowl on her face, before unlocking the door and letting Lynda in.

" I hope you brought your Windex, young lady, " she scolded.

Lynda waved her off with a flick of her hand and looked around. " Hey. Lookin' good. Got an opening date yet? "

" Week from Monday."

Lynda nodded her approval. " You're really moving right along on things. I'm impressed."

" Be impressed when I actually get customers in here."

The older woman could sense the tension in the air, and she knew it didn't come only from the impending grand opening of the shop. She was beginning to know Melanie quite well, and she could tell when the woman was about to open up, when she needed to talk. This morning, she'd been nearly unapproachable. Now, she was different. Lynda plopped herself into one of the reading chairs and waited.

" Do you remember the details in Curious Wine? " the redhead asked after several minutes of stocking shelves in silence.

" Burned into my memory forever."

Melanie opened her mouth, shut it, opened it again, shut it again. She took a deep breath. " In the book, Lane and Diana... um... fall in love... in, like, a matter of days."

" Uh huh."

She turned to Lynda, the chaos in her mind clearly visible in her eyes. " Has that ever happened to you? To somebody you know? Or is it just fiction? "

Lynda smiled gently and studied Melanie for several minutes. Finally, she asked the question she'd been wanting to ask ever since Taylor came in the bookstore nearly two weeks ago, the question she already knew the answer to. " Are you in love with Taylor? "

Melanie's hand stopped in mid-air, the book she was about to shelve floating just inches from its destination. Finally, she set it down, staring at it as she turned the question over and over in her mind. It was a pretty simple one, really. Just yes or no, right? The problem was, she'd been avoiding asking herself the very same question, scared to death of what the answer might be.

Lynda watched her carefully, watched the various emotions as they marched across her expressively beautiful face. She was surprised to find herself thinking what a lucky woman Taylor Rhodes was and hoping that the young brunette knew it. " Melanie? " she prodded softly.

Melanie nodded almost imperceptibly before answering. " I think I am, " she whispered at last. " My God, I think I am." She laughed, a sound which held very little humor. " What the hell happened? I'm thirty-three years old, for crying out loud, I just now realize I'm a lesbian? "

" Consider yourself lucky, " Lynda chuckled. " I know some women who didn't come out until they were in their fifties."

Melanie turned a stricken face to her friend. " No."

Lynda laughed out loud. " True."

Melanie dropped into the other chair. " Oh, Lynda. What do I do? "

" First thing I suggest you do is chill. Stressing yourself out is going to get you nowhere fast."

Melanie nodded. She never got this worked up. Never. Not even when an account was in danger of deserting Rucker & Steele.

Nothing had ever made her stomach churn and her head ache like the current situation. " You've got a point."

" Have you slept with her? "

" No." She said it almost sadly, which Lynda found amusing. Not that Melanie hadn't thought about sleeping with Taylor, dreamed about it, obsessed over it. Images of the two of them together, Taylor moving above her, Taylor touching her with those beautiful hands, Taylor's fingers, lips, tongue on her, in her, stroking, coaxing, driving her higher, making her gasp for breath...she swallowed hard, feeling her face flush.

" Have you talked to Taylor? About how you feel? "

" What? No. Absolutely not."

" Why? "

" What the hell would I say? "

" Have you stopped to think that maybe she feels the same way? "

Melanie fell silent. Yes, she had thought of that. Several times. Several hundred times. Hundreds of thousands of times, probably. She knew it was a possibility. She also knew there was the possibility that Taylor didn't feel the same... that Melanie was just fun. A fling. That was the part with which she had all kinds of trouble dealing. So she just didn't.

" Are you seeing her again? "

" Tonight."

" Melanie, you need to talk to her."

The redhead sighed. Lynda was right, whether or not she wanted to admit it. " I know."

" Look, Taylor seems like a really approachable person. It'll be okay. Look at you. You're a mess over this. At least if you talk to Taylor, you'll know. One way or the other, you'll know."

" What if I don't want to know? " What if I just want things to go back the way they were, with me and my job and nothing else? a little voice inquired. A second, louder voice added, No friends, no hobbies, no love... Yeah, that was great. Is that really what you want to go back to?

Lynda's voice softened as she took Melanie's hands in her own. She cared so much for this new found friend, and she hated seeing her in such emotional turmoil. " Honey, we're all afraid to get hurt. It's a fact of life. It sucks to have your heart thrown on the floor, and we all know it. But, if it's bound to happen, maybe it's better just to get it over with so you can deal with the pain and move on."

" Maybe you're right." Melanie forced a smile, praying to any god that would listen, to please let it not be her heart that was thrown on the floor tonight.

 


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