Crazy English

Ø 1) Do you agree with the title of the text?

English is crazy. Part of the problem with learning English can be explained by this fact.

According to the Merriam-Webster dictionary, the word “misnomer” means the “use of a wrong or inappropriate name” when naming something. In this respect, such words and terms as “driveway” and “parkway, ” “eggplant” and “hamburger, ” “sweetmeats” and “sweetbreads, ” “English muffins” and “French fries, ” as well as “boxing ring” and “starfish” are all misnomers.

English is strange. In English people “drive cars on parkways” and “park cars on driveways.” There is no “egg” in eggplant just as there is no “ham” in hamburger. “Sweetmeats” are candies and “sweetbreads” are meats. “English muffins” didn’t come from England nor did “French fries” come from France. And should it not be obvious “boxing rings” are square and “starfish” are not fish at all. And should you now be wondering if “Panama hats” come from Panama, “India ink” from India and “Chinese checkers” from China, the answer is “No.” And lest it go unsaid, these are only a few of the hundreds of misnomers in the English language.

So how did English become so crazy? Some misnomers are holdovers from an earlier time. Such words as “lead pencil, ” “tin can, ” “steamroller, ” and “clothes iron” are all holdovers from the “good old days.” Essentially, old names were retained for convenience. Truly British examples are the well-known “May balls” (evening parties) and “May Bumps” (boat races) hosted by Cambridge University each year. Neither occurs in May but rather in May week which, by the way, is in the second week of June.

Words such as “Kleenex” (in place of “tissue”), “Xerox” (in place of “photocopy”), and “Memory stick” (in place of “flash drive”) are all the result of using well-known product names in place of common generic names.

Sometimes misnomers result from popular misconceptions even though there is scientific evidence to the contrary. “Koala bears” are not actually bears; rather they are marsupials and therefore related to kangaroos. And in that sense, “fireflies” are not flies (they’re beetles) and “palm trees” are not really trees (they’re grass). And just to set the record straight, “shooting stars” are actually meteors, not stars.

Finally, we have a group of misnomers which almost defy explanation. And how is it possible for our nose “to run” and our feet “to smell? ” Is it really true that a shipment is “sent by car” while cargo is “sent by ship.” And in what other language could people “recite at a play” and “play at a recital? ” Why do they call food servers “waiters, ” when it’s the customers who do the waiting? Why do they call them buildings, when they are already built? And why is it called a TV set when you get only one?

Only in English you say that “night falls” but never breaks, and “day breaks” but never falls, and “a slim chance” and “a fat chance” are the same but “a wise man” and “a wise guy” are opposites.

English is a truly amazing language. It’s full of misnomers, paradoxes, and verbal contradictions, yet it is loved by millions. What more can I say? The time has come for me to “wind up” this article … and speaking of time, I’d better “wind up” my watch while I’m at it. And if it hasn’t occurred to you, guess which one means “to finish” and which one means “to start.”

Ø 2) Find the definition of the word “misnomer” in the text.

Ø 3) Translate the words and expressions in commas into Russian.

Ø 4) What is the main idea of the article?