Chapter Nineteen. Grace caught the elevator just before the steel doors groaned shut

Grace caught the elevator just before the steel doors groaned shut. It was almost eleven and she’d completed her rounds, including an uncomfortable twenty minutes with Chester Brown who wanted to quiz her about the weekend. She summoned every ounce of professionalism she possessed and dodged his personal questions with humor and patience. Fortunately, he’d be released later in the day.

She headed for the basement and the tunnel that led to the staff parking garage elevator. Most doctors chose to travel the passage, avoiding the possibility of a confrontation with a patient’s inquisitive family or a call from a colleague for an impromptu consult. She rarely entered or exited the hospital this way, enjoying the opportunity to visit with other doctors and nurses in the hospital. Today, though, she wanted out, and that surprised her.

There had never been a question that she would show up for work. Eva had driven straight to the airport after Penny flagged them down on the road to give Grace her purse. She’d broken the speed limit by double digits to catch up to them, and when they pulled over on the shoulder she appeared at Grace’s window, a sad smile on her face.

She handed her the purse and kissed her cheek. “I’m not sure what happened, but I really enjoyed meeting you.”

She couldn’t help but smile. Penny was incredibly sincere. “I’m glad I met you, too.”

“You know, it’s funny. I never would have thought Pollock was your favorite painter. That was a nice surprise.”

She didn’t know what to say. They were sitting on the side of the highway and Penny’s random comment blindsided her. It wasn’t until hours later she realized it was a supreme compliment.

“I’d like to keep in touch, ” she added.

She nodded and promised to ship Penny’s clothes back to her.

Eva had already purchased two tickets home. That was Eva. She just knew things. Obviously things I don’t understand. She’d left Grace alone with her thoughts for the entire flight and the drive back to her house. And there was much to think about. Her mind replayed the night in the pool house, and different images quickly journeyed through her memory—drinking the Root of Passion, kissing Lena and falling into Logan’s arms after she’d climaxed.

By the time Eva pulled her Porsche into Grace’s driveway, she’d resolved to forget the entire weekend, burn Margo’s asinine list, and toss the oak box and its Root of Passion into the trash.

“Thanks, ” she said with a slight smile.

She turned to go, but Eva caught her arm. “Grace, I’m sorry things turned out like this. I just had to make sure you were safe.”

“I know. I appreciate it.”

Eva chuckled and stroked the fine leather of Penny’s bomber jacket. “I’ll admit, you look incredibly sexy, but it’s just not you.”

The comment stung, and while a part of her agreed, another part was offended. She gazed at Eva, who wore an amused expression. It’s all a joke to her. She thinks you look like a whore.

“So, if this isn’t me, then what is? ”

“Well… you’re you, ” she sputtered. “You know, Dr. Grace Owens, dependable, responsible—beautiful, ” she quickly added. “That’s the Grace I love.” Her fingers caressed Grace’s cheek. “I don’t know who the hell this is.”

Neither do I.

Lost in her thoughts again, she didn’t realize she’d maneuvered her BMW into the Thomas Road left turn lane until a horn honked behind her. She looked around, gaining her bearings. She couldn’t even remember arriving at her car or driving out of the garage.

Great job, Grace.

She passed the street that led to her office without remorse. It was Monday, and since she didn’t have surgery she knew she should address the mountain of paperwork that awaited her. She also had an appointment with her boss, the director of the practice, the man who signed her paycheck. None of that seemed important as she turned right onto Fifteenth Avenue.

She glanced to her left, noticing the entrance to Encanto Park, one of Phoenix’s largest and oldest parks. She swerved, crossing two lanes of traffic, and pulled into the parking lot. She’d been here a few times for company picnics. One woman, in her effort to find interesting dating spots, had actually taken her canoeing. She laughed when she thought of the two of them attempting to steer the slim little boat. They ended up in a shouting match, and she had to call Margo for a ride home.

The memory reminded Grace that canoes weren’t the only water transportation available, and she set out in search of the boathouse. The park was virtually empty except for some vagrants, parents with young children and a few executives eating their lunch on a bench, their ties askew or their high-heeled shoes discarded. She had crossed two bridges and found herself near the lagoon when her cell phone chimed. Margo.

Eva had undoubtedly called her after the previous night’s disaster, and she wanted to debrief. Maybe she wanted to apologize, or maybe she wanted to chastise her for being so naive, but Grace only wanted to be alone.

The boathouse sat at the corner of the lagoon and she grinned when she saw the paddleboats sitting next to the canoes. The boatswain was engrossed in an episode of All my Children and made a quick promise to settle their business when she returned.

“Just stay out for as long as you want, ” she said as Grace headed toward the dock.

She untied the boat closest to the water and climbed aboard. After a few revolutions it surged forward, and she was on her way. The steering mechanism, a tall lever, was hard to move, but she eventually maneuvered away from the dock. She pumped vigorously, her thighs and calves grateful for the workout. She remembered that it had been almost a week since her last morning run.

She pedaled until the novelty wore off, which happened to be in the upper half moon of the lagoon on the opposite side of the park. She drifted, listening to the water sloshing beneath her as the tiny currents beat against the metal boat.

There has to be some symbolism in this somewhere.

She focused on the green plants surrounding the lagoon and the clouds that passed overhead. If she stared at them intently, she could watch the gray and white puffs slide by. Her mind, though, slipped to the weekend, as she knew it would. There were so many contradictions—Logan’s incredible tenderness juxtaposed against her deception, the Root of Passion and the Ecstasy, and the sheer exhilaration she’d felt the entire time. The weekend of unexpected opportunities. Now, she floated in a rickety old paddleboat in what was definitely stagnant water, when she should be a ball of kinesthetic energy surging through Monday, the hardest workday.

She decided she wouldn’t return to the boathouse until she figured out her life. It was impractical to think she could dismiss the last forty-eight hours and deny they had occurred. She was changed, and her professional life could be jeopardized if she was vulnerable. She thought of Penny’s theory and hoped she was right. Maybe she needed to find the balance between Dr. Grace Owens and Grace Owens, the woman—who could look really hot if she wanted to.

Okay, Grace. You’re a scientist. Approach this from an analytical perspective. Examine your dependent and independent variables, employ the scientific method and draw your conclusions.

She listed her feelings, which included anger, sadness, betrayal and confusion. All were important and woven together. She was just beginning to pull apart the strands when she heard chugging behind her. She turned to see Margo paddling like a maniac.

“Unbelievable, ” she muttered.

“Aren’t you impressed? ” Margo asked as her boat drifted alongside Grace.

“How did you find me? I thought you were still in Morocco.”

“When my best friend is in trouble, I’m here. I took an early flight home. Now, as to how I found you, I’ll only give you clues. GPS system, friends with benefits and a great memory that recalled a conversation we once had about paddleboats.”

She shook her head in amazement. “I am impressed. But you didn’t have to come out here. There’s nothing you can do.”

“Of course there is. I can listen and I can provide sage advice. I can point out all of your faulty logic as you try to rationalize your love life and dismiss the weekend.”

“What makes you think I’m going to forget the weekend? ”

“Because it’s uncomfortable. You went places I’ve never gone, Grace. I’ll admit that more than a few women have covered me in various food toppings, but I’ve never had a foursome! ”

“You don’t have to yell, ” she said, her cheeks coloring.

Margo looked around. “Who would hear us? Now, where are you with Logan? ”

“I hope I never see her again, not after what she did.”

“So, you’re not interested in her.”

“No, and I don’t think she was ever interested in me, really. I was just another conquest.”

“Okay, what about Eva? ”

She paused. Eva still had feelings for her, and the fact that she’d come all the way to Vegas to get her was impressive. Yet, she represented the past and clearly had her pigeonholed as a boring prude. “I’m not sure. Undecided. Doubtful.”

Margo nodded. “Fair enough. How about Dina? Could she be a possibility? ”

She shrugged and fiddled with the steering wheel. “I hardly know her.”

“Ah, but she knows you. And she’s interested.”

She raised an eyebrow. She recalled the night when she’d flashed her. “That’s interesting.”

Margo clapped her hands and giggled. “Excellent. Now then, what about you? Do you feel changed? ”

“Yes, but I’m thinking it was all a sham. It was the Ecstasy. I was just responding to external stimuli.”

“Don’t go all medical on me, sweetie. I’m just an average citizen. Look, the Ecstasy may have triggered some of your responses, but it couldn’t account for everything. She only drugged you twice, right? ”

She nodded. “That’s what she said, and I believe her.”

“Okay, if that’s true, then why did you to go to bed with Michelle? What made you decide to go to Vegas? Why did you sleep with Logan? ”

She didn’t have any answers. She’d like to think she’d finally unleashed her wild desires, but the actuality of her thrusting open her milquetoast cage and roaring out of it was unfathomable. It was more likely that a mysterious, unexplainable potion had taken control of her body.

“Do you really think it was the Root of Passion? ”

Margo shrugged and threw up her hands. “Honestly, I have no idea.” She looked toward the shore. “When I bought it, I knew it was unusual. There was something special about it. Maybe I was drugged.” She looked back at her. “Does it matter? ”

“Of course it does. I’ve just spent the last forty-eight hours engaging in the most unbelievable behavior of my life, and I need an explanation.”

Margo laughed. “You’re such a scientist. Why does there always have to be an answer? Why do you always have to know? ”

“Because I do. That’s who I am.”

“Well, this time you may have to rely on a little faith.”

Faith. There was a word she rarely thought about. As a child, she’d heard it endlessly during church but as she grew older and turned to her studies, church didn’t seem to fit. In her mind, faith was anathema to science.

She reached into her purse and withdrew the oak box. She’d dropped it into the trash can three times—and retrieved it. She couldn’t bring herself to part with it. But it was either responsible for her unsafe behavior, or it was a symbol of faith in the unproven—an idea her mind couldn’t process. She drew back her arm and stared out into the murky lagoon water. This would at least be a permanent goodbye.

“What are you doing? ” Margo asked.

“I’m getting rid of this. I’m not sure what it is, but I’m done with it. I’m not drinking another drop.”

“Wait! ”

She jerked to the right and saw Margo’s hand extended toward her. “Please give me that. If you have no further use for it, that’s fine. But I paid a lot of money for it and I’d like to know what that potion’s made of. I’ll bet you would, too.”

The idea of using the remaining Root of Passion to answer scientific questions appealed to her. She tossed her the box. Margo dropped it into her purse and started pedaling.

“Okay, let’s get out of here. I want you to promise me something.”

“What.”

“The next time you have a personal crisis, can we please pick a less remote and odorous location to meet, one that doesn’t require me to exercise? ”

Her talk with Margo proved to be enough therapy, and while she still didn’t have all the answers about her life, she returned to her office and completed all of the paperwork that awaited her. By the time she pulled onto her street it was nearly dark, but there was no mistaking Pepper, the Great Dane, trotting down her driveway with Dina close at his side.

“Hey, ” she called as Grace stepped out of the car.

She couldn’t help but smile. The woman always seemed to be so cheerful. “Hi. How are you? ”

She scratched Pepper behind his ears and he wiggled his big head at her. He wasn’t on a leash, but unlike their previous meeting he stayed next to his master.

“I’m great. Your friend asked me to collect your papers and mail. I left it on your dining room table for you.”

“Thanks.”

“No problem. How was your trip? ”

She paused, unsure of how to answer the question. Unbelievable? Inconceivable? “It was fine. Just a chance to relax.”

Dina raised an eyebrow and laughed. “In Vegas? I guess it depends on who you went with and what you did.”

She blushed. “I’ll just take the Fifth.”

They both laughed, and when neither could think of anything else to say, their gazes fell to Pepper. He burped loudly and the awkwardness disappeared.

“I’m sorry. He had a big dinner, ” Dina said.

“I imagine every meal would be big for him.”

Dina chuckled and shuffled her feet. “Yeah. So, I was wondering if you might want to go hear some jazz this Saturday.”

She smiled, pleased. “I’d like that.”

“Great, ” Dina said. She took a step toward her, and Grace could see her beautiful blue-green eyes under the streetlamp’s glow. “Any chance you might wear that incredibly sexy dress? You know, the one that has trouble covering your body? ”

She laughed nervously. “I might. But don’t you think I’ll be terribly overdressed for a jazz club? ” You’re flirting, Grace. You never flirt, at least, not very well.

They stared at each other, both grinning, and she was certain they were both remembering the night she flashed Dina.

Dina shook her head slowly. “No. I think that dress would be absolutely perfect for what I have planned.”