CHAPTER TWENTY-EIGHT. Feel like going to the park? Carrie asked one warm, sunny day weeks later.

" Feel like going to the park? " Carrie asked one warm, sunny day weeks later.

Jill laughed. " You miss the ducks? "

Carrie held up a loaf of bread, her eyes smiling. " I have an urge."

Jill walked closer, her arms sliding around Carrie's waist. " An urge, huh? " She pulled them together, loving the familiarity of their embrace, loving the gentle kiss they shared. " I would love to go to the park with you."

" Wonderful. And just so you don't starve, I made us sandwiches to take along."

Jill pulled away, seeing the paper sack on the bar. She nodded and smiled. " Just like old times."

" Do you mind? "

" Of course not." She reached for the sack. " It'll be fun." Or so she thought until she saw the crowded parking lot minutes later. She groaned loudly. " Good God. Half the town's here."

Carrie laughed. " School's out. What'd you expect? "

" I guess I'd forgotten what it was like during the summer." She discreetly reached across the console and rubbed Carrie's thigh. " And I've gotten spoiled with our own private part of the lake."

" I know." Carrie drove through the parking lot, looking for a spot. She found one toward the end and pulled in. She sat there, hands still on the wheel. " Maybe this wasn't such a good idea."

" Oh, it'll be fine. We'll take the trail through the woods to the piers. It'll be less crowded."

And it was. They met only a handful of joggers and two teenagers on bikes. For Jill, it was one of those days—those warm, sunny days—when she wished she didn't have a job to rush back to. How nice would it be to spend the afternoon with Carrie?

" I know exactly what you're thinking, " Carrie said.

" Oh, do you? " Jill countered, playfully bumping her with her shoulder.

" Wanna play hooky this afternoon? "

Jill laughed. " Okay. You got me."

" You know, you've got some clothes at the cottage. Shorts and stuff, " she said with a shrug. " Maybe you could? "

" Oh, Carrie, I wish I could. But I've got payroll due. I can't put it off."

" Probably just as well. If we start that, I'll be asking you at least once a week to blow off work."

" I know." Jill turned, wishing they had the luxury of holding hands. " It's just that an hour a day is not nearly enough."

" You know, we haven't had a Saturday in a while, " Carrie reminded her.

" No, we haven't. And I don't know when we can."

" Has anything changed at home? "

" Other than Craig has volunteered to teach summer school, which is a first for him." Jill sighed. " It's his attempt at being the martyr, because you know, there's nothing at home for him." She stopped. " And Angie barely speaks to me."

" I'm sorry."

" No. I can't blame her. I can't blame Craig for what he's doing either. I mean, our wedding anniversary is this week. How awkward is that going to be? " She touched Carrie's arm briefly, then started walking again. " I've come to the realization that I'm holding him hostage, " she admitted. " Regardless of what happens with us, it's not fair to him."

" You want to divorce him? "

" They don't have to find out about us, Carrie. That doesn't have to be the issue."

" It'll come up, you know it. Eventually it will."

" Then I'll deal with it. I just don't want it to affect you."

Carrie was silent as they walked on, the trail coming to an end near the piers. Most of the paddleboats and canoes had been rented and kids and adults alike laughed and played out on the lake. Carrie paused, finding the flock of ducks that had taken refuge in a tiny cove not far from the piers. She pointed and Jill nodded, following her through the trees.

" I didn't tell you, but Josh asked me point-blank if I was seeing someone, " Carrie said.

" When? "

" Last week. He said he could tell something was up between me and his dad."

" What did you say? "

Carrie looked away, out to the lake. " I told him I wasn't, " she said quietly. " But Jill, I came so close to telling him the truth." She turned, watching Jill. " Josh is such a great kid. And I think he would understand about this, about us. I really do." She opened the loaf of bread, handing Jill several slices. " But then I didn't want to burden him with the weight of all this. He's going to be going off to college in a couple of months. I don't want him worrying about me."

As they walked closer to the water, the ducks saw them and swam closer, some getting out of the water to clamor at their feet. They silently tore apart the bread and tossed it to the dozen or more ducks that gathered around them. Grandma Duck joined them, limping noticeably as she fought for her share of bread.

" What are we going to do? " Jill finally asked.

" I don't know, " Carrie said as she bent down to hand Grandma Duck a piece of bread. She glanced up, meeting Jill's eyes. " I just know I love you. That's all."

Jill's breath caught as it always did when Carrie uttered those words to her. Yes, that was all. Love. But a love neither of them quite knew what to do with. Jill stood back, watching the ducks, watching Carrie. Carrie finally stood, her eyes squeezing shut in a grimace.

" What's wrong? " Jill asked.

" It's nothing, " she said as she rubbed her temples. " Just have a killer headache. Comes and goes." She gave a brief smile. " You want to find a park bench? "

Jill shook her head. " I'd rather go back to the cottage and have a little alone time."

Carrie glanced at her watch. " Fifteen minutes."

Jill took her arm and led her back down the trail. " I can be a few minutes late."