Глава 7. At a quarter to midnight, I, along with Eric and several other Dauntless, burst into the initiates' dormitory

At a quarter to midnight, I, along with Eric and several other Dauntless, burst into the initiates' dormitory, brandishing flashlights and shining them into the faces of initiates who are on the verge of falling asleep.

" Everybody up! " Eric roars.

All around me, flustered people in pajamas are springing from their beds, obviously startled by our unexpected entrance.

I see Tris's eyes scanning the crowd, looking for me. Her eyes meet with mine, and for a moment, she gets lost in the sea of movement.

" Did you go deaf, Stiff? " barks Eric.

She snaps out of her daze and stumbles out of bed.

" You have five minutes to get dressed and meet us by the tracks." Eric says. " We're going on another field trip."

With that, I turn my back to the room, push open the door, and head for the train tracks that lay just outside of the Dauntless compound.

Within minutes, I hear rushed footsteps hurrying towards us. The transfers make it to the tracks just after the Dauntless-borns.

" Everyone grab a gun! " shouts Eric.

Both groups rush toward the pile of guns cluttered on the ground and stumble over each other in an attempt to secure a gun before everyone else.

" Time estimate? " Eric asks me.

I check my watch. " Any minute now. How long is it going to take you to memorize the train schedule? "

" Why should I, when I have you to remind me of it? " Eric says, giving my shoulder a shove.

Just as expected, the distant light from an approaching train appears on my left. It grows closer and closer, chugging along on the tracks. When it reaches us, I grab a handle and haul myself into one of the cars. I look back and see Tris running alongside the train, not bothering to check whether or not Christina and Will are following. I extend a hand toward her and pull her in. As soon as she sets foot in the car, she lets go of my arm and sits down on the other side of the car without so much as a glance in my direction.

What's with her? Have I done something to upset her?

I push the thought away and turn to address the initiates once everyone has successfully made it onto the train.

" We'll be dividing into two teams to play capture the flag. Each team will have an even mix of members, Dauntless-born initiates, and transfers. One team will get off first and find a place to hide their flag. Then the second team will get off and do the same." The car sways and I have to hold onto the side of the doorway to steady myself. " This is a Dauntless tradition, " I continue. " So I suggest you take it seriously."

" What do we get if we win? " someone shouts.

Really?

" Sounds like the kind of question someone not from Dauntless would ask, " I say, raising an eyebrow. " You get to win, of course."

" Four and I will be your team captains, " Eric says, glancing at me. " Let's divide up transfers first, shall we? "

" You go first, " I offer.

Eric shrugs. " Edward."

Typical. For Eric, it will always be brawn over brain, rather than brain over brawn. Capture the flag takes more than a team of those who excel physically. It takes strategy. I learned that during my own initiation.

I scan the group of transfers and make my choice. " I want the Stiff."

A few people chuckle at what they must consider to be an absurd decision on my part.

" Got something to prove? " Eric asks, sneering. " Or are you just picking the weak ones so that if you lose, you'll have someone to blame it on? "

I shrug. " Something like that." Let him think what he wants. " Your turn."

" Peter."

" Christina."

" Molly."

" Will, " I say while biting my thumbnail.

" Al."

" Drew."

" Last one left is Myra. So she's with me, " says Eric. " Dauntless born initiates next."

For the next few minutes we divide up the Dauntless-born initiates; Eric picking the ones who are broad and strong, I the ones who are slim and small.

" Your team can get off second, " Eric tells me.

" Don't do me any favours, " I reply, smirking all the while because I know Eric's tactics aren't going to work. " You know I don't need them to win."

" No, I know that you'll lose no matter when you get off, " says Eric while chewing on one of his lip rings. I have always hated them. " Take your scrawny team and get off first, then."

The initiates stand up when I do.

I jump when the train is about to dip to the ground, running a couple of step when my feet hit the hard soil to avoid toppling over from the momentum.

Someone comes up behind me and places a hand on my shoulder. " When you team won, where did you put the flag? "

" Telling you wouldn't really be in the spirit of the exercise, Marlene, " I say coolly.

" Come on, Four, " she whines and smiles at me flirtatiously. I don't know what kind of person she thinks I am, but that kind of tactic hardly ever works on me. I brush her hand off my arm and walk away. I can almost feel her glare burning into the back of my head.

" Navy Pier, " Uriah, one of the Dauntless-born initiates calls out. " My brother was on the winning team. They kept the flag at the carousel."

" Let's go there, then, " suggests Will.

No one opposes, so we set off eastward, toward the marsh that was once a lake.

I wonder how long it has been since the lake dried up. Ten years? Fifty years? I wonder if it has seen the days before society split into factions. I don't know why, but I often find myself engrossed with thoughts about the time before factions existed, trying to fabricate from my imagination a world that isn't governed by factions. Life always seems better that way. It's not good to have these thoughts. I will never voice them, of course; the officials don't like people who question the system. So, once again, I push my thoughts away and keep them hidden within the depth of my mind until they venture out again the next time I find myself wondering.

We come across a bridge that provides a path over a dried up river. The mud beneath it is too wet to walk on; that's why the bridge was built.

Once we cross the bridge, the city changes. Ahead lies a sea of broken glass and buildings that have deteriorated over time. An eerie silence spreads from the crumbling ruins and seeps into my skin. This place feels like a living nightmare. The streets are completely dark because it's after midnight, and all of the city lights are off.

Behind me, someone flips on a flashlight and shines it at the street in front of us.

" Scared of the dark, Mar? " Uriah teases.

" If you want to step on broken glass, Uriah, be my guest." Marlene snaps. But she turns off the flashlight anyway.

Ah, such is the life of a Dauntless. We are forever more concerned with our pride than anything else.

Finally, we reach the carousel. Some of the horses are worn and weathered, their tails broken off or their saddles chipped. I take the flag out of my pocket.

" In ten minutes, the other team will pick their location, " I tell them. " I suggest you take this time to formulate a strategy. We may not be Erudite, but mental preparedness is one aspect of your Dauntless training. Arguably, it is the most important aspect."

Will walks up to me and takes the flag from my hands. " Some people should stay here and guard, and some people should go out and scout the other team's location." He says.

" Yeah? You think? Marlene interjects, snatching the flag from Will. " Who put you in charge, transfer? "

" No one, " says Will. " But someone's got to do it."

" Maybe we should develop a more defensive strategy. Wait for them to come to us, then take them out." Christina suggests.

" That's the sissy way out, " Uriah objects. " I vote we go all out. Hide the flag well enough that they can't find it."

The group explodes into conversation, each yelling louder than the previous person to make their voices heard. I take a seat on the edge of the carousel and wait for the bickering to come to a conclusion. Leaning back against the foot of a plastic horse, I lift my eyes to the sky only to find that there are no stars visible tonight, only a round moon peeking through a thin layer of clouds.

Although reading is prohibited by Abnegation because it is considered a form of self-indulgence, I used to sneak books into my room and read them at night. I enjoyed reading all kinds of myths about constellations; warriors and their beasts that inhabit the night sky. The world beyond the clouds fascinated me like no other. It's hard to imagine a time when people were encouraged to conjure up such fantasies.

I am so engrossed in my thoughts that I almost don't notice Tris slip away from the group. Curiosity got the best of me, so I trailed behind her to find out what she is up to. She stops before the Ferris wheel and inspects the rungs of a ladder that climb up the wheel and stops at a platform just below the center.

She's about to climb it when I speak out.

" Tris."

My voice doesn't startle her. She turns around to look at me. " Yes? " she asks.

" I came to find out what you think you're doing."

" I'm seeking higher ground, " she tells me. " I don't think I'm doing anything."

Of course. The higher you are, the easier it will be to spot the target. She's sensible, and I can't help but smile at her cleverness. " All right. I'm coming."

" I'll be fine, " Tris says.

" Undoubtedly, " I say, and really, I don't doubt for a minute her capability.

She starts climbing and I follow after her when she's a few feet off the ground. I notice I'm faster than her. I catch up quickly, and soon, my hands find the rungs that her feet leave.

" So tell me…, " I say quietly. " What do you think the purpose of this exercise is? The game, I mean, not the climbing."

My eyes drop to the pavement that is slowly falling farther and farther away. Panic grips me, but I don't let it control me. I've confronted this fear many times in my fear landscape, hoping to eventually overcome it, but I've yet to succeed.

" Learning about strategy, " says Tris. " Teamwork, maybe."

" Teamwork, " I scoff at the thought. Maybe a few years earlier, this would have been about teamwork. Not anymore. Not with Eric in charge.

" Maybe not, " she contemplates. " Teamwork doesn't seem to be a Dauntless priority."

" It's supposed to be a priority. It used to be."

The gentle breeze that I felt on the ground is picking as we climb higher and higher up the ladder. My throat seems to have grown swollen. I struggle to keep my breathing even. Each gulp of air sticks to the inside of my throat, like burrs that cling to my clothes in the fields that I used to play in.

" Now tell me…" I struggle out. " What do you think learning strategy has to do with…bravery? "

Tris pauses for a moment. A cloud passes over the moon and I watch the light shift across her hair, carefully illuminating strands of her wavy blonde hair.

" It…it prepares you to act, " she answers. " You learn strategy so you can use it."

At this point, my breaths are coming in heavy, ragged gasps.

" Are you alright, Four? "

" Are you human, Tris? Being up this high…" I gulp. " It doesn't scare you at all? "

Tris looks over her shoulder at the ground, surveying, for the first time since we started climbing, just how far from the ground we are. Before she has time to answer, a gust of wind throws her body off balance and she has to cling to the rungs to keep from falling. Without hesitation, I wrap my hand around one of her hips, one of my fingers catching a strip of bare skin just under the hem of her t-shirt, and guide her body back onto the ladder. My skin tingles where I made contact with hers. I can feel my heartbeat picking up pace, and I'm fairly certain that height isn't the only contributing factor now.

" You okay? " I murmur.

" Yes, " she reassures.

We climb in silence until we reach the platform. Tris sits down and scoots to the end to make room for me. She dangles her legs over the edge while I crouch and press my back against the metal support, distancing myself from the edge of the platform. I watch Tris perch effortlessly on the edge, as if the height is nonexistent.

She turns to me and says, " You're afraid of height. How do you survive in the Dauntless compound? "

" I ignore my fear, " I tell her. " When I make decisions, I pretend it doesn't exist."

I look out at the vast expanse of the city below, but I can feel her eyes lingering on my face.

" What? " I whisper.

" Nothing."

" We're not high enough, " Tris says.

I beg to differ.

She looks up to examine the structure above us. I follow her gaze upward and notice how worn down the Ferris wheel is. However, if your hands and feet find the right places, it's not impossible to climb higher.

" I'm going to climb." She stands up and reaches for one of the bars overhead.

" For God's sake, Stiff." I groan.

" You don't have to follow me."

Tris pauses for a second and contemplates her next move. She wedges her foot onto the place where two bars cross and pushes herself up, grabbing another bar in the process. She sways for a second, and my heart skips a beat. I have to go up with her. Every instinct in my body is telling me otherwise, that it is an unwise decision, but I can't risk Tris climbing up the wheel alone.

" Yes I do, " I tell her.

Slowly, we inch up the Ferris wheel. One wrong move and both of us can end up dead on the pavement below. I fix my gaze upward towards the sky, concentrating only on where to place my hands and feet. Occasionally my thoughts wander to Tris, who is just one step ahead of me. Her presence is keeping me sane. If it is possible to forget, just for one second, the height and the fact that we are risking our lives climbing a rusted and unstable Ferris wheel, this almost feels peaceful. Just me, her, the whole world below us, and the stars above. A gentle breeze brushes against my cheek and I steer my thoughts back on track.

Unexpectedly, Tris stops climbing and squints into the distance. " See that? " she says, pointing at a tiny pulsing light way out in the distance.

" Yeah, " I say, a smile spreading across my face. We found the other team's hiding spot!

" It's coming from the park at the end of the pier, " I say. " Figures. It's surrounded by open space, but the trees provide some camouflage. Obviously not enough."

" Okay…um, " Tris clears her throat. " Start climbing down. I'll follow you."

I nod and start the descent.

Climbing down is a lot easier than climbing up. I effortlessly find places for my feet and I'm able to guide my body down with ease. Even so, my hands grip the bars so tightly that they turn red and start shaking in fear that one loose grip will send me plummeting to the pavement. Above me, I can hear Tris navigating her way between the bars.

A loud clanging noise catches my attention and I look up just in time to duck out of the way of a metal bar that has come loose. It clatters against half a dozen bars on the way down before dropping onto the pavement. I turn my attention to Tris and the sight before me sends a wave of horror through my body.

Tris dangles in midair, her feet frantically searching for a foothold but the nearest one is a few feet away and out of her reach. My heartbeats drum so loud in my head that I can hardly think rationally, but I know I have to act fast.

Tris's eyes fill with terror as she suppresses a scream.

She's slipping.