Глава 10. Cool droplets of water splash from the rushing currents onto my face

Cool droplets of water splash from the rushing currents onto my face. The deafening roar of the chasm fills the space around me; it's the only thing I hear. The rushing water unfailingly drives my thoughts out of my head and carries them downstream.

For a few peaceful minutes, I sit with my head resting in my hand, staring at the water.

Tomorrow is the last day of stage one. Instinctively, I think back to my initiation – the anxiety and apprehension before the rankings were posted, and the pride that washed through me when I saw that my name filled the number one slot.

I make my way back to my room and collapse on my bed, exhausted. I hold my hands out above my face and run my fingers along the creases of my palms. In the wide, dark night, wind whistles, calling, crying out for something that has long been lost and buried in the rubble of ruined thoughts and wishes. I flip over and drift off slowly and quietly.

The next time I wake up, I am no longer in my bed.

I feel the warmth of the sun's rays before I see it shining through the window. As my eyes adjust, I make out the faint outline of a door frame in front of me.

I step out to the most amazing shade of blue above me. Fluffy white clouds float lazily across the sky, guided by an invisible force, each waiting for an imaginative mind to give meaning to its shape. Behind me stands a gleaming white mansion, grander and more glamourous than anything I have ever seen. I am surrounded by miles and miles of blossoming flowers. The colours go on forever and ever, stretching beyond the horizon and disappearing with the setting sun.

In this world, time seems to melt away faster than I can hold onto moments. It slips away like water gliding through the spaces between fingers. The sun falls over the horizon, stripping everything of their vibrance. The colours bleed away instantly, leaving only darkness behind. I notice a faint glow shining from a secluded part of the never-ending gardens. Carefully, I tread around the delicate flowers, slowly making my way towards the light.

What I find makes my breath catch in my throat.

An orange grove stretches out before me, extending miles and miles into the distance. Sparkling lanterns float in between the trees, bobbing up and down, side to side, shrouding the trees in their mesmerizing colours. I know I am alone in this world that I have created, but the air feels alive with the energy of a thousand suns. The stillness moves, without breath, without beating hearts. I reached out to a gleaming orange and gently brush it with my fingertips. To my dismay, it crumbles under my touch and gives away to nothing more than dust, floating in swirls, all brown and withering.

Instantly, everything disintegrates around me. The ground rushes up towards me and I fall into a tall field of soft grass. They knit around me like a comforting blanket. The sky above is painted with thousands of possibilities. I lose myself in the twinkling light and count the stars until I can't see straight.

I wonder if I had ever been a star, so faraway that I will never truly belong to this world.

Slowly, with the rhythm of the universe beating around me, I fall asleep.

X X X

I wake up again to the beeping of my alarm.

9: 30 A.M.

I'm back in my bed.

If I close my eyes, the ghost of the dream still lingers in my mind.

Oranges. So many oranges tumbling from trees and hitting the ground with sickening thuds. Floating lanterns skirting around, dancing with each other and spewing glitter like fairy dust.

I push myself up off my bed and rub the sleep from my eyes.

Today is the last day of hand-to-hand combat, and the end of stage one.

A few initiates have already gathered in the training room when I walk in. Peter stands amongst them, looking all too eager to find out his fighting opponent – his target.

I scrawl the pairings onto the chalkboard.

Will and Myra.

Christina and Al.

Edward and Peter.

Tris and Molly.

Will and Myra is the first pair to step into the arena. Their fight starts off with both of them awkwardly shuffling around one another, both trying, but failing to make any physical contact.

After an uneventful fifteen minutes, the fight ends with Will as the victor.

The next fight between Christina and Al is quick and painless. After taking a few punches, Al lies on the ground and fails to get back up. From the corner of my eye, I see Eric shake his head.

Edward and Peter take longer. They're the best fighters in the group; however, their fighting styles differ. Edward is more trained and precise whereas Peter uses brute strength to his advantage.

By the time the three fights are done, my body is buzzing with anxiety and anticipation.

I hold my breath as Tris walks into the arena. She has the strength to win this fight. I know she does – but only if she remembers my advice and uses her strengths to her advantage.

" Was that a birthmark I saw on your left butt cheek? " Molly taunts. " God, you're pale, Stiff."

Molly lunges at Tris, her fist leading her body. Tris ducks under Molly's swinging arm and drives her fist into Molly's stomach. Before Molly has a chance to recover from the unexpected attack, Tris has already slipped away from her reach and prepared for her next attempt.

Molly, evidently driven by the unexpected turn of events, lunges at Tris and throws a second punch at her, only for it to be blocked by Tris.

An animal-like cry escapes her mouth. I unconsciously flinch at the noise.

In her frustration, Molly aims a sloppy kick at Tris's side, which Tris dodges with ease. Tris takes advantage of Molly's moment of vulnerability to shove her elbow into Molly's face, which Molly only narrowly dodges.

Molly's fist makes contact with Tris's ribs and sends her reeling to the side. There is a moment of hesitation between the two. I see Tris's eyes ever so slightly glance over her opponent's stance, and then they light up. They light up with the knowledge of Molly's weaknesses. They light up with the certainty of her victory.

She aims her fist at Molly's lower stomach, just below her bellybutton. As Tris's fist sinks into her flesh, she heaves out a heavy breath. Using her momentum, Tris sweeps Molly's legs out from under her body and she hits the ground with a loud thud. Tris pulls her leg back and kicks at Molly's ribs.

Molly curls into a ball to protect her side, but Tris keeps going. Again and again, she pulls her leg back and aims her foot at any part of Molly that is unprotected: her stomach, her chest, her face. Blood drips from Molly's nose and runs down her face in streams of flowing, red rivers.

Tris doesn't stop.

I rush over and clamp my hands around Tris's arms, just as her foot pulls back again, and force her away from Molly.

" You won, " I murmur. " Stop."

For the first time today, we look each other in the eyes, and what I see alarms me. Somehow, overnight, the compassionate, Abnegation girl clad in grey clothing disappeared. For a terrifying second, her eyes reflected the power-hungry glint that is ever present in Eric's eyes.

" I think you should leave, " I say, nudging her towards the door. " Take a walk."

" I'm fine, " she says, ignoring my gentle shoves. " I'm fine now, " she repeats, heaving a sigh.