Глава 14. She is clad in an orange sundress as vibrant as Dauntless flames.

I dream of Tris.

She is clad in an orange sundress as vibrant as Dauntless flames.

I chase her down endless hallways, never far enough to lose sight of her, but never near enough to touch her. For what seems like hours, we play this everlasting game of cat and mouse. Sunlight blazes through windows, setting the world ablaze when it catches sight of the vivid colour of her dress. Her laugh trails behind her, ricocheting off the walls and drifting into my ears.

Simple and beautiful.

When I wake up, my world is in flames with the lingering image of Tris twirling in her vibrant orange dress. It looked like she was on fire.

X X X

Marlene flashes a bright smile as she pushes through the door and settles in the metal chair.

" Ready for another one? " I ask.

" Do I have a choice? " she shrugs.

" No, not really, " I say. " At least this will be the last one you'll ever have to stick through."

" And then fear landscapes? " she exhales.

" And then fear landscapes, " I say, repeating her words.

" Four, " she says, as I sweep her hair from her neck for the injection. " What were your fears? "

I ease the needle into her neck, not bothering to hesitate to answer her question. It's not for her to know. " It's a secret, " I say softly as her eyes close to let the simulation take over.

I wake up in my worst nightmare.

Marlene's hair whips around in a wild crown around her head. Stretching before her, reaching miles and miles into the distance, is the city of Chicago. We stand on what I can only believe is the tallest building in the city, and it's crumbling before my eyes.

The concrete below Marlene's right foot crumples in a cloud of choking dust. She shrieks, her eyes wild with terror.

There are only two options for her: jump, or fall.

I shudder at the thought, knowing I have faced the decision many times in my own fear landscape. We both share the fear of heights.

Patch by patch, the building disintegrates to nothing more than dust blown into oblivion by the carrying arms of the wind. Marlene is now forced to frantically play hopscotch in order to avoid falling through one of the gaping holes.

Just breathe, I urge, sorely wanting the simulation to be over.

All that is left now is the frail skeleton of the building. Marlene balances carefully on the thin rails, taking in shuddering breathes to calm herself. At last, she opens her eyes, taking in the haunting view before her, and lets go.

A thin layer of sweat covers my body when I pull out of the simulation. I don't think I'm going to get over my fear of heights any time soon.

" Done, " Marlene breathes.

" Heights, huh? " I watch her get out of the chair. " Me too."

" Oh, " she nods slowly. " So that's one of out four. I'll fish the other three out of you – eventually."

" Sure you will, " I say, ushering her out the door.

The rest of the simulations flash by without an incident. Tris wraps up the end of stage two with the same simulation she faced yesterday: someone holding her at gunpoint and ordering her to shoot her family.

" I know the simulation isn't real, " she says.

" You don't have to explain it to me, " I tell her. " You love your family. You don't want to shoot them. Not the most unreasonable thing in the world."

" In the simulation is the only time I get to see them, " she admits. " I miss them. You ever just…miss your family? "

My eyes drop to the floor.

Do I miss my family? Do I miss my father, who used me as an object to relieve his rage? Do I miss my mother, who left me to fend for myself? " No, " I say. " I don't. But that's unusual."

Tris gets up to leave, but she hesitates as she reaches the door, her hand hovering above the doorknob. She turns back, looking me square in the eyes, and I hold her gaze. Her eyes pierce through me as if the mere sight of them can upturn my insides and pull every buried secret from the depth of my mind and spill them out in the open for her to see. Before, I would have found this unsettling, but now, I have learned to accept it – to accept this girl who makes me want to pour out my insides, this girl who makes me want to confide in her, because I know she will take me as I am, through all the good and bad.

Just then, another thought enters my head: the rankings for the second stage.

You're ranked first this time! I want to blurt out. I almost do. I want to keep talking because I know it will keep her in the room, in the same space that I'm in, but I don't say anything. I don't even know why. I have never been tongue-tied in any situation with anybody – except for Tris.

The seconds tick on. When we both realize we have been staring at each other for too long, she composes herself and walks out of the room.

The rankings cross my mind again, and no matter what I do, I can't suppress the horrible nagging feeling that something is off. Tris ranking first is a good thing, right? Right? I think back the butterknife incident with Edward, and suddenly, the room feels a lot colder than it did a moment ago. Peter's monstrosity wouldn't have stopped at Edward. It's snowballing, if anything, and the next person to get in his way will have it much, much worse.

But not this time.

He'll have to go through me if he wants to think about laying so much as a finger on his next victim.

I rub the tiredness from my eyes. Initiation coupled with late night shifts in the control room has really taken a toll on me. Throw in raging concern bobbing up wherever Tris is involved and I am a true walking zombie in the Dauntless compound.

Luckily, Zeke and Shauna find me before I resort to curling up in the dank corner of a passage way for a much needed nap.

" Did you know Jeanine Matthews is trooping around the compound like she owns the place? " Shauna says.

" What? " I say. It's not exactly normal for factions to intermingle in each others' sectors, but authoritative figures do occasionally visit other factions. But still, it is rarely necessary unless you are one of the Amity truck drivers who routinely deliver fresh produce to the other four factions.

" Well, she wasn't really trooping around, " says Shauna. " I saw her huddling with Max and Eric before they went inside Max's office.

" We were going to sling berries at her, " Zeke says.

" Shut up, " Shauna elbows Zeke.

" What? It was your idea, " he shrugs.

" I wasn't being serious, " Shauna says. " I don't want her to whip out her super advanced fighting machine and taser our butts into one of her geeky computer nerds."

" You'd have to be smart to be a geeky computer nerd, " I tease. " So you're off the hook."

" I'll cook you, " she glares at me.

" I bet you Jeanine's trying to steal our cake recipe, " Zeke chimes in.

" We do have good cake, " I say.

I think about Jeanine's presence here in the Dauntless headquarters, about her meeting with Max and Eric, about the files I discovered weeks ago – which looked like war plans – sent by Erudite. Her being here no doubt has something to do with those files. Something is happening – something big and unsettling. If I had taken up Max's offer of a position of power, would I be in his office right now with them?

I don't know.

But I do know I have to find out more.

Shauna, Zeke, and I wind through the passage ways doing nothing but talking and cracking jokes, our laughs bouncing off of the bare walls, each echo fainter than the last as if the walls are absorbing our laugher and saving happy memories in the cold stones. It feels good to be doing nothing.

As we pass a training room, I hear muffled voices coming from inside. I motion for Zeke and Shauna to stop, and push the doors open to reveal Tris, Lynn, Marlene, who is working on a muffin, and Uriah, who is firing plastic pellets at the targets.

" I thought I heard something in here, " I say.

" Turns out it's my idiot brother, " says Zeke. " You're not supposed to be in here after hours. Careful, or Four will tell Eric, and then you'll be as good as scalped."

Uriah makes a face at Zeke and puts away the pellet gun in his hand. I step away from the door to let the four of them clear the room.

" You wouldn't tell Eric, " Lynn says, narrowing her eyes at me.

" No, I wouldn't, " I assure her.

They file out one by one with Tris rounding up the rear. I press my hand against the top of her back to usher her out.

As Tris starts to follow the others down the hallway, words tumble out of my mouth before I have a chance to stop them. " Wait a second, " I say.

She turns back to me, clearly confused as to why I'm holding her up. Frankly, I don't really know why I am holding her up either. I fidget with a button on my shirt, trying to buy time to relay a speech that I haven't even thought to prepare. I have so much to say, but my mind seems incapable of transforming my thoughts into words.

" You belong here, you know that? " I blurt out. " You belong with us. It'll be over soon, so just hold on, okay? "

God, I'm useless. Of all of the things I could have said…

She holds me with her eyes. Instinctively, my heartbeat picks up. I can feel it in my stomach, my cheeks, my fingertips. If I close the space between us, I wonder if she will be able to feel it too. She makes me flustered in a way that no other girl has been able to make me feel before. She's different. She's special. She's selflessly brave. She's Tris.

She's full of surprises.

And she surprises me when she reaches for my hand. As our fingers interlace together, my mind bursts in a spectacular array of colourful stars. My heart dances in my chest and tingling chills run up and down my arms. I can't breathe.

We stand like that for what feels like an infinite amount of time. Then, she pulls away and disappears down the hallway, running after the others.

I wear a smile for the rest of the day.

Once I am in the control room, memory of Jeanine Matthew's visit flood me. I know what I have to do.

I duck my head into the hallway, making sure it's empty so no one will catch me doing what I am about to do. It's risky to meddle with confidential files. I don't know what the consequences will be if I am caught, but it is a risk I'm willing to take if it means I can put a stop to what is being planned.

I settle into the lumpy office chair and let my fingers hack away at the keyboard. For several frustrating minutes, I search for the loophole in the security system that once allowed me to access the Dauntless secure files. Finally, the screen flashes white, each of the files blinking onto the screen one by one. The contents haven't changed since I last saw them – still the same supply lists, maps, and pages of vague instructions.

But why is Erudite teaming up with Dauntless? And who are they raging war against?

I chew the thoughts over and over in my head, trying to piece together anything that will help me solve the puzzle.

Time flies by as I run ideas through my head. Within the last few weeks, several reports have been published – all by the Erudite – attacking various Abnegation members, one of whom was my father, one of whom was Tris's father. Surely, those articles are meant to stir up dissension against Abnegation.

Abnegation…because they control the government.

But why involve the Dauntless?

I chew my lip raw trying to piece together the puzzle. Then, the thought comes to me.

Because a war is fought by soldiers.

The thought sickens me. The Erudite wants to use us. Whatever they think we are, I can assure them we are not playthings ready to be controlled at their will.

The walls seem to press in on me as my shift drags on. The rumblings of a war to come gnaw at my mind with a growing intensity. Nothing like this has ever been happened before. The factions may have not existed in perfect harmony, but no drastic measures have ever been necessary to eliminate petty disagreements that have sprouted up over time. When my shift ends, I walk the hallways quietly, head heavy with dread and uneasiness.

In my inattentiveness, I almost collide when I round a corner with Al, who looks as flustered as I feel.

What's his problem?

And then, a frightening scream pierces the air. It's not until I near the chasm that I see it – the scene that Al was running from, a scene that makes me stop dead in my tracks, a sight that makes bile rise in my throat because I didn't think anyone would have the guts to take matters this far.

Peter holds Tris over the chasm in a chocking grip around her neck while Drew stands off to the side, not quite having a hand in the crime but also not bothering to put a stop to it. This is a new low, even for Peter, who I know for a fact only cares for himself and his dignity, but I didn't think he had it in him to find pleasure in overpowering a girl half his size and putting her life on the line.

I have never felt this much rage at anyone other than my father.

" Hey! " I scream.

Both of them snap their heads towards the sound of my voice, fear contorting their faces into expressions of horror that I have never seen before. They have the guts to commit the crime, but they're not brave enough to face the consequences.

Peter slips away immediately, but I manage to grab Drew by his shirt and shove him against the railing.

" This stops right now. " I hiss in his face.

Rage overtakes me; it fills my vision with red and I don't hold back my fisted hands. Again and again, they make contact with Drew's body: his face, his chest, his ribs, any unprotected part of him that I can reach. I want him to feel the same pain that he put Tris through. I want to make him sorry that he ever thought he could mess with her without repercussions. I want to wreck him.

" We were – " he huffs. " We were only trying to scare her! "

" To hell you were, " I spit back and toss him to the ground where he slumps in a heap of bruised arms and legs.

Tris leans heavily against the railing, barely conscious. " Four, " she croaks.

I gather her into my arms and carry her back to my room. My heart lurches with every step that I take. How is it that even with me so close, I am still unable to protect Tris from those who want to harm her?

" Shh, " I murmur. " You're safe now."

Even as I say the words, I think is she?

Will she ever be?