Alice to the East

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✦

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T he drive from Roy’s house to the center of Verona was

twenty minutes through sunflower fields that stretched

out on either side, flat and constant as a Midwestern ac-

cent. It was a good highway, well-paved and broken by nothing

but the horizon and the tracks of the Northern Pacific Railroad.

When Roy’s daughter Emma was young, he had taught her

how to ride a bicycle on the yellow line that divided those who

were going east from those headed west. It was safe enough;

there was less traffic then, and the few cars that did pass could

be seen coming from miles away. There was always plenty of

time to make a decision, to move over, to be prepared.

About ten miles out of town the grain elevator could be seen,

standing with all the arrogance one would expect from the only

structure in the area over two stories tall. Roy had just passed

that point when he noticed an unfamiliar object ahead which

became, as he drove closer, a truck, a white truck, pulled off the

road, hazards flashing. He slowed down, read the Montana

license plate, and then eased his car so deliberately to a stop

behind the pickup that it appeared as if he’d parked there every

day of his life.

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p i l g r i m s

Roy stepped out of his car and walked a few feet before he

saw them in the ditch. He stopped, and slowly reached out his

hand until he was touching the hood over his warm, ticking

engine. There were two of them, teenagers. The girl was stand-

ing. The boy knelt at her feet, slicing one leg of her jeans open

at mid-thigh with a jackknife. Roy was startled and then em-

barrassed by the strange intimacy of the scene: the girl standing

with her legs slightly spread, hands on her hips, the boy on his

knees, the unexpected flash of the knife, the gradual revealing of

more skin as a pair of jeans became shorts.

After a moment, the girl turned and looked at Roy with

vague interest. Her hair, short and dark, was pressed damply

against her head, as if she had just taken off a baseball hat. She

wore a man’s white undershirt, a pair of sunglasses clinging to

its V neck with one arm.

“Hi, ” she said.

“I saw you were pulled over, ” Roy said. “I thought you might

need a hand.”

She gestured at the truck. “Yeah. It just quit on us all of a

sudden.”

“Fuel pump, ” the boy added. “Busted.”

“Want me to take a look at it? ”

The girl shrugged. “Just a sec, ” she said.

Roy waited while the boy cut through the last heavy inseam

and the girl stepped out of the tube, with its hemmed bottom

and frayed top. One leg bare, the other in long jeans, she walked

to the pickup, opened the door, and released the hood. Roy

came around to the front of the truck, noticing the dead but-

terflies and grasshoppers flattened against the radiator grill. He

and the girl looked at the dusty engine block, and she pointed

one thin hand through the network of tubes and hoses and said,

“Pete thinks it’s this that’s broken. The fuel pump.”

“If it is, you’ll need a new one, ” Roy said.

34 ✦

Alice to the East

“That’s what Pete thinks, too.”

“What is this, a three-fifty? ”

“It’s a Chevy, ” she answered.

“I mean the engine. What is it? ”

“Three-fifty, ” the boy called from around the truck.

“I figured we’d have problems and everything, ” the girl said,

“but damn. I thought we’d at least get through North Dakota.”

“You’re from Montana? ”

“Yeah. Right across the border. Are you from here? ”

“Yes, ” Roy answered. “I live just outside Verona.” He thought

it strange that he said this the way other people said they lived

just outside Chicago or ten minutes from Manhattan. Like it

meant something. There wasn’t much inside Verona, and there

was nothing just outside it, except sunflower fields and Roy’s

house.

“We haven’t been on the road two days and now...” She left

the thought unfinished and smiled at Roy. “I’m Alice, ” she said.

With the s sound, the tip of her tongue made a brief appearance between her teeth and then vanished.

“I’m Roy. I know someone in Verona who might have the

part you need. I can give you a ride. If you want.”

“Let me ask Pete. My brother.”

She walked back to the ditch, and Roy stood at the corner of

the truck, watching. He didn’t believe they were related. Some-

thing about the way she said “my brother” after Pete’s name.

Something about the emphasis, the hesitation.

Pete had been lying on his back in the dead grass, and at

Alice’s approach he sat up, wiped his forehead with the inside of

his arm, and complained that it was hot.

“Finish making my shorts and he’ll give us a ride into town, ”

Alice said. “He told me some guy might have the part.”

Pete took the jackknife from his pocket, opened it, and be-

gan to cut into what remained of Alice’s jeans. Roy watched

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p i l g r i m s

her stand there, still and relaxed, eyes forward. He saw that

Pete, while bending his head in close concentration, did not

touch Alice at all, not even brushing a knuckle against her

skin. Only the frayed ends of her shorts grazed her thighs, and

Roy found himself staring. He looked down at his own pants,

studying the symmetrical cuffs that rested on the laces of his

thick shoes.

When Pete finished, Alice stepped out of the second denim

tube as she had the first, picked them both up, and draped them

over her arm, like guest towels on a rack.

“Are you ready, Roy? ” she asked, calling him easily by his first

name.

“Sure.” He nodded.

Pete stood up stiffly and brushed the dirt off his knees. “Let’s

go, then, ” he said.

Carl was behind the bar drinking coffee when they walked in.

Roy asked if he’d seen Artie around, almost hoping that Carl

would say no. It was cool and dark in the bar, and Roy didn’t feel

like hunting anyone down in the late-afternoon heat.

“His boys were just in for pops, ” Carl said. “They told me he

was out back of his place cleaning snapping turtles. You need

something? ” Carl was looking at Pete and Alice.

“These folks had a breakdown about ten miles back. I

thought maybe Artie’d have a fuel pump might work for them.”

“Well, now, he might, ” Carl said. “If anyone’d have it, that’d

be Artie.” He glanced at Pete and Alice again. “You folks are

lucky to break down here. Other places aren’t so helpful.”

“Well, then, how about a beer? ” Pete said. “Alice? A beer? ”

She shook her head.

“Just one, then. Whatever you got on tap.”

Carl raised an eyebrow, and Roy knew he was wondering if

the boy was under age. Roy didn’t know how old Pete was and

36 ✦

Alice to the East

didn’t really care, although he did wonder briefly how long it

was since Carl had served a customer who was a stranger.

“I’ll be back soon, ” Roy said, and left for Artie’s.

There was one sidewalk in town, and he was halfway down it

when Alice caught up to him.

“Hey, ” she said. “Mind if I come? ”

Roy shook his head.

“This Artie guy have a shop or something? ” she asked. “A

garage? ”

“No. Just a yard full of engines.”

“What if he doesn’t have it? The fuel pump.”

“Then we’ll have to drive to La Moure.”

“Is that far? ”

“Half-hour or so. Forty-five minutes, maybe.”

Roy found himself picking up his pace to match Alice’s,

although it was too hot for anything faster than a stroll.

“That guy shouldn’t’ve given Pete a beer.”

“Carl? Why not? ”

“Pete’s only seventeen.”

“Well. It’s his bar.”

“Still, he shouldn’t sell Pete beer. The last thing I need is Pete

drinking at four o’clock.”

They walked, and Alice looked around, although there wasn’t

much to see. There wasn’t a shop on the street that wasn’t

boarded up or closed, with the exception of Carl’s bar and the

post office. They didn’t have a bank in Verona anymore. They

didn’t even have a grocery store.

When they reached Artie’s house and Roy saw the front door

lying across the porch next to a random pile of hubcaps, he

began to wish that Alice had stayed back at Carl’s with Pete. He

didn’t want her to think that everyone in Verona kept their

property like that. One of Artie’s boys ran out of the house and

stopped when he saw Roy and Alice in the yard.

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p i l g r i m s

“Hi, Mr. Menning, ” he said. Roy smiled, but couldn’t re-

member the child’s name. There were three of them, all about

the same age, all with homemade crewcuts and the hard, round

bellies of kids who eat a lot but run around more.

“Is your dad around? Cleaning turtles? ”

“He finished that this morning, ” the boy said. “Now he’s

fixing a chain saw.”

Artie came from around the back, wiping his hands on his

jeans, and, as if the front yard could only hold three at once,

the boy vanished into the house. They were good kids, all three

of them. Everyone said so. Terrified of their father, Roy had

heard.

“I was wondering if you might have a fuel pump for a Chevy,

a three-fifty, ” Roy said. “Some folks broke down out of town.”

Artie was looking at Alice with interest. “What can I do

for you? ” he asked, as if Roy had not spoken. She seemed to

understand the game, and asked for the fuel pump again. She

didn’t appear to be put off by Artie’s long hair or by the tat-

toos that, like a lady’s gloves, covered him from his hands to

his elbows. Artie had left town as a teenager and returned for

his father’s funeral almost a decade later with the boys, the

hair, the tattoos. Roy didn’t like him, but he was the clos-

est thing to a mechanic in town, now that the gas station was

gone.

“Only Chevy parts I have are for that thing.” Artie pointed at

a small sedan without wheels resting on four pieces of firewood.

The hood looked as if it hadn’t been closed for years.

“You sure? ” Roy said, but Artie ignored him, instead asking

Alice where she was from.

“Montana.”

“Where in Montana? ”

“Fort Peck. Across the border.”

“I know it, ” Artie said. “By the reservation.”

“Yes.”

38 ✦

Alice to the East

“Shit. You’re no squaw, are you? ”

“No.”

“I was gonna say. Better watch out for my scalp if you were,

right? ” Artie smiled, but it was an unnatural, almost painful,

expression, as though he’d got a fishhook caught in one corner

of his mouth, and someone was tugging at it.

“If you don’t have the part, we’re going to La Moure, ” Alice

said, and Roy admired her for expressing the idea as if it were

her own. As if she had the slightest idea where or what La

Moure was.

“Not today, you ain’t, ” Artie said. “Everything’ll be closed by

the time you get there.”

Alice glanced at Roy, seeming to weaken with that piece of

information. He noticed that Pete had cut her jeans unevenly,

and the dingy gray cotton of her right pocket was showing

about an inch below her shorts. It hung heavily, as if she were

carrying a lot of change. Roy didn’t like the idea of Artie being

able to tell what was in Alice’s pockets. He didn’t like the way

Artie watched Alice.

“We’ll go to La Moure tomorrow, then, ” Roy said, and before

Alice could answer, Artie said, “You look just like a girl I knew

in Beaumont, Texas.”

She looked at him, silent.

“You don’t play the flute, do you? ” he continued.

“No, ” she said, “I don’t.”

“Because this girl from Beaumont played the flute, is why I

ask. You could be sisters. I wondered. What’d you say your last

name was? ”

“Zysk.”

“Spelled? ”

“z-y-s-k.”

“Zysk.” Artie whistled. “There’s a word that’d bring you

about a thousand points in a Scrabble game.”

“Except it’s not a real word, ” Alice said.

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p i l g r i m s

“Real enough for me, ” Artie said, and Roy decided that it was

time to go right then. He thanked Artie, who asked, as they

were leaving the yard, “Y ’all up at Carl’s? ”

“We won’t be for much longer, ” Roy answered.

“I’m gonna clean up and stop by.”

“Like I said, we’ll probably be gone by then.”

“I’ll see you there, ” Artie said, and stepped over a hubcap to

enter his house through the screen door that guarded it so

feebly.

Pete cursed at the news and told Roy, “We’ll have to stay with

you tonight.”

“Goddamn it, you’re rude, ” Alice said, and Pete walked to the

other end of the bar to read the song list on the jukebox, which

hadn’t been plugged in since Carl bought the microwave.

“You’re welcome to stay with me, you know, ” Roy said.

“There’s plenty of room.”

“We’ll stay in the truck. He’s an idiot. He’s a rude idiot.”

Roy ordered a sandwich for Alice and a beer for himself. The

bar was as quiet as a library.

“What do you do? ” Alice asked.

“Me? I drive a snowplow in the winter and a combine in the

summer.”

“You’re not a farmer? ”

“Not anymore.”

Carl brought Roy his beer and waved away his dollar, but

Roy folded the bill and slid it under the napkin dispenser when

Carl turned his back.

“Do you like those jobs? ” Alice asked.

“Sure. I’m always finding people broke down when I’m snow-

plowing.”

Alice laughed. “You rescue them, too? ”

“What I do is keep a stack of magazines with me.”

40 ✦

Alice to the East

“Why magazines? ”

“I tell them to sit in their cars and read a magazine until help

comes. Gives them something to do. Or else they get restless

and decide to walk, and that’s when they die.”

“From walking.”

“In the snow.”

“From being bored. They die from being bored. Wow. If we’d

started walking today, we just would’ve gotten hot.”

“You’re always better off staying with your car, ” Roy said, and

Alice nodded.

“Are you married? ” she asked.

“My wife died of a heart attack two years ago this winter.”

Alice did not say that she was sorry, the way people usually

did, so Roy did not have to say that it was okay, as he usually

had to.

“I’m going to be a nurse, ” Alice said. “Maybe.”

“That so? ”

“Yeah. I’m going to Florida for nursing school. Pete’s coming

along with me to make sure I’m all right, and to work if I need

money.”

“That’s nice.”

“My mom made him go.”

“Oh.”

“You have kids? ”

“One girl. She’s thirty-two.”

“She live around here? ”

“She works in Minneapolis. She’s a model, for catalogues and

newspapers.”

“She must be pretty.”

“Yes.”

“I’d like to do that, but my nose is too big.”

“I don’t know much about it.”

“She must make a lot of money.”

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p i l g r i m s

“Yes.”

“She visit you a lot? ”

“Not so much, ” Roy said. “Not since her mom died.”

“I’ll tell you what would be a great job, ” Alice said. “Photog-

rapher.”

“I don’t know much about that.”

“Me neither.” Alice looked behind her, at Pete and the juke-

box, at the tall wooden cash register. “That Artie guy’s a real

piece of work, ” she said.

“I knew his father.”

“He’s a screw-up, huh? ”

“I don’t know.”

“He reminds me of my brother. My oldest brother. With

the tattoos and everything. All of my brothers are dumb, but

this oldest one, I tell you, he’s as good as retarded. Get this.

When he was in the army in Germany, his girlfriend back home

got pregnant. Here he’s been gone five months and she’s sud-

denly pregnant. So what she does is send him a letter saying, ‘I

miss you so much, I want to have your baby.’ She says in the

letter, ‘If I had your baby, it would remind me of you and I

wouldn’t be so lonely.’ What you have to realize here, Roy, is

that my brother’s wanted to marry this girl since forever. So

she sends him a dirty magazine and an empty mustard jar and

tells him to — I don’t know how to say this — to do it in the

jar and send it back to her so she can get pregnant with it.

Understand? ”

“Yes, ” Roy said.

“So my brother, a complete idiot, does this. And then he

believes her when she writes to him and says she’s having their

baby. Can you believe that? ”

“This was your oldest brother? ” Roy asked.

“Yes. A fool. Everyone in the world knew about this scam,

and people even told him that it was a scam, but he still believes

her. I even told him that it was a scam, and he still believes her.

42 ✦

Alice to the East

He still believes that it’s their kid. Like whatever he sent from

Germany to Montana made that baby after however many days

in the mail.”

Roy didn’t know what to say, so he nodded.

“I’m sorry, ” Alice said. “That was gross.”

“That’s all right.”

“But it shows how stupid my family is. My brothers, anyway.”

“Well. That’s some story.”

“No kidding.”

Artie walked into the bar. He had pulled his hair into a

ponytail and was wearing a baseball cap, green, with a configu-

ration of initials on it. His shirt had white snaps, and as he

passed through a ray of sun they shone like dim, symmetrical

pearls.

“Looks like you got some new company, ” he said to Carl as

he sat down next to Alice. “Visitors from the distant land of

Montana.”

“Your kids were in today, ” Carl said.

“They causing trouble? ”

“They told me you’d got yourself some snappers, is all.”

“If my boys cause any trouble, you tell me.”

“You better invite me over for soup, ” Carl said, and Artie

asked Alice, “You like snappers? ”

“Turtles? Never had them.”

“Maybe I’ll invite you over. You might like it.”

Alice turned to Roy and said, “My next-to-oldest brother is

Judd, and he’s no genius, either. He took off, and for three years

we never heard from him at all. Thought he was dead. Then one

afternoon my mother gets a phone call —”

“She telling you her life story already? ” Artie asked Roy, but Alice went on.

“She gets a phone call and it’s from Judd. ‘Hi, Mom, ’ he says,

like he’s been gone for just the afternoon. ‘Hi, Mom. I’m in New

Jersey at the recruitment center and the nice lady here says I can

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p i l g r i m s

have three meals a day and new clothes if I sign up for the army.

So, Mom, ’ Judd says, ‘what’s my Social Security number? ’”

“What was it? ” Artie asked.

“So Judd enlisted, ” Alice continued, ignoring him. “My mom

says the army’s the only refuge for dumb people like my broth-

ers. If Pete wasn’t going to Florida with me, he’d probably end

up in the army, too.”

“I been to Florida, ” Artie said. “I worked on a fishing boat

there. I lived in a pink house. Right on the ocean.”

“Really, ” Alice said.

Carl brought her a sandwich and she ate half of it before she

spoke again. “My wisdom teeth are coming in. You ever get

those? ” she asked Roy.

“Yeah, ” Artie said. “Hurts like a bitch, but there can be no

wisdom without pain.” He laughed, one harsh burst, like an

engine turning over in the cold, and then he asked Alice, “Why

do you wear your hair short? ”

“I like it this way, ” she said.

“Girls should have long hair.”

“Boys should have short hair.” She gestured at his ponytail.

“You got salt on your tongue, don’t you? ”

“I don’t know what that means.”

“You can be a wise-ass, is what it means, ” Artie said, and Pete

was at the bar so fast that Roy realized he must have been

standing behind them the whole time, waiting.

“Don’t talk like that to my sister, ” Pete said.

Artie laughed again, that single, mechanical emission. “Billy

the Kid here, ” he muttered. “Tough guy.”

“Fuck you, pal, ” Pete said. “I said not to talk to my sister.”

Roy heard Alice say, “Jesus Christ.” She slid off her bar stool

and edged out of the way, somehow anticipating what was

coming. Roy’s reflexes were not as swift. When Pete threw his

punch and connected, he pushed Artie into Roy’s shoulder,

44 ✦

Alice to the East

hard. Then Pete stood quiet and undefended while Artie got up,

shook his head once, and squared his hat. With experienced

precision, he swung and hit Pete in the center of his face and

watched as he fell backward at a perfect diagonal, catching his

head on the corner of the bar. The crack was louder than any

noise heard in that room all afternoon, and then it was over.

To Roy’s surprise, Alice approached him first, actually step-

ping over her brother to touch the sore spot on his shoulder

where Artie had fallen.

“Are you okay? ” she asked. Roy nodded.

“I’m sorry, ” she told him.

“Your brother should keep his mouth shut, ” Artie said.

“I wish you wouldn’t talk to me.” Alice’s voice was low, and

she wasn’t even looking at Artie. “I really wish you would just

leave me alone.”

At this, Carl said, with no malice or heat, “You’ll want to get

home now, Art.” He said it the way Roy’s doctor a year before

had said, “You’ll want to stop eating salt soon.” He said it the

way Roy’s wife used to tell Emma, “You’ll want to have a warm

coat with you this morning.” A quiet command.

And Artie did leave, as if admonished by his own father,

swearing under his breath but obedient.

Carl knelt by Pete and said, “He’ll be okay. Just a bad bump

is all.”

“I’m really sorry, ” Alice repeated, and then she asked, “Could

we take him somewhere, do you think? ”

“We’ll go to my house, ” Roy said. When he got up, he was

surprised to find that his legs were shaking so much that he had

to lean against the bar for a few moments before he could walk.

The three of them lifted Pete and half-carried him out the door,

down the steps, to Roy’s car.

“Put him in the back seat, ” Roy instructed, and Alice said,

“His nose, though. He’ll get blood everywhere.”

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p i l g r i m s

“That’s okay.”

As they slid Pete into the car, he opened his eyes for a

moment, focused with difficulty on Alice’s face, and said, “Mom

told me —”

“Shut up, Pete. Will you please just shut your mouth? ” Alice

interrupted, and Roy thought that she might start crying, but

she didn’t.

“Got more than you bargained for, Roy.” Carl laughed.

“I can’t tell you how sorry I am about all this, ” Alice said

again, but Roy only walked her to the passenger side and helped

her into the car, as he had helped Pete.

They drove. West, out of Verona, the sun had just finished

setting without ceremony, without color or effort. It was dusk,

and still hot. Alice apologized again, and Roy told her that it

wasn’t her fault.

“All my brothers are idiots, all of them. My mom said I’m the

only one in the family who could think my way out of a used

tissue.”

“How many brothers do you have? ” Roy asked. The question

sounded inane to him, considering the circumstances, but she

answered immediately.

“Five, ” she said. “Steven, Lenny, Judd, Pete, Eddie.”

“And you.”

“And me. All of them are in the army but Pete and Eddie,

who are too young. Eddie’s only six. My brothers can’t do a

thing right.”

They drove in silence through the sunflower fields. Roy

thought to tell Alice that sunflowers always face east in the

morning, west at dusk. He thought it might interest her, or even

help her out, should she ever happen to get lost in North

Dakota. She didn’t seem to want to talk, though, so he kept it to

himself. They passed the white truck, parked in a ditch, without

commenting, and Alice spoke again.

“My littlest brother, Eddie, almost died last year, ” she said.

46 ✦

Alice to the East

“He almost died. He was staying at our neighbor’s house and it

caught on fire. Everyone got out of the house but him, and

when the fireman came into his room, Eddie hid under the bed.

He got a glimpse of that oxygen mask and figured a monster

was coming after him.”

“That’s too bad.”

“It turned out fine. They found him and everything, and he

was okay. But when they told me what happened, the first thing

I thought was what a stupid kid my brother was, already. He’s

only six, I know, but to hide from a fireman in the middle of a

fire... The thing is, if he’d died, I wouldn’t’ve thought that he

was stupid. I just would’ve missed him. There’s a big difference,

I guess, between almost dying and really dying.”

Roy nearly said, At your age you would think that, but it

sounded bitter even to him, so he didn’t answer.

As he drove the familiar road, Roy thought about the empty,

ruined homes of people he’d grown up with, people who were

now gone: dead, or almost dead. Which Roy thought might

very well be the same thing. Verona itself was almost dead,

as well as countless other towns he’d known just like it. He

thought about his wife, who had almost died twice before the

final heart attack killed her. “I’m cold, ” his wife had said, having

walked without shoes or a coat through the January snow to the

garage, where Roy was refinishing their dining room table. “I’m

cold, ” she said, and then she died, not almost, but really. Now

Roy, with the bruised shoulder, with an unconscious boy in the

back seat of the car he’d purchased for his wife, with a girl

beside him half the age of his daughter, Roy felt as if he, too,

were very close to death, almost dead.

As if she had been following his thoughts all along, Alice slid

across the front seat and placed her hand over his. Her touch

was at once that of a mother, a lover, a daughter, and it was so

long since he’d known any of these things that Roy sighed,

allowed his head to fall forward. He shut his eyes. Alice reached

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p i l g r i m s

for the steering wheel, and he let her take it, knowing that the

road was straight and safe, and that, for now, it would be better

to let her steer.

“It’s okay, ” she said, and reached under the wheel and turned

on the headlights. It was not yet dark, but the lights would help

them be seen by anyone driving east, or by anyone who might

be watching their progress as they crossed the empty plains of

North Dakota.

48 ✦