Grocery list

1doz eggs

1 lb butter

(I remember whenwewere first married, how Bob loved

my omelets)

1 gal milk

1 1g box Whoopie Wheetsies

(I wish the kids wouldn’t believe all that junk on television. They keep begging me to get them this, get them that)

1 bottle Kalm-Tabs (for stress)

1 six-pack Macho beer

(which will be gone by the end of Sunday’s football game. Bob’ll be dozing in front of the TV, wearing that old undershirt)

I head lettuce

2 tomatoes

2 1bs hamburger

(I remember when Bob said, “steak and caviar, baby – marry me and it’ll be steak and caviar all the way! ” And now he can barely afford hamburgers)

1 pkg Sweetums disposable diapers

3 jars Bitsie-Bites baby food

(Maybe if he hadn’t three kids in three years, maybe then)

1 box Storm detergent

1 floor mop

(or maybe if Bob had let me keep my job instead of being a broken-down housewife, I could have had a career)

1 Calorie-Counter’s Meals for One

1 doz cans LO-LO Kola

(I don’t know why I try to lose weight. I’ll bet she would be eating all the time if her husband was seeing another woman)

1 bunch asparagus

(I bet they think I don’t even know about their affair! Well, if they think I’m going to let them get away with it)

1 box ratpoison

(damn them!)

Gina Holdane

from Ellery Queen’s Mystery Magazine

Post-Reading

A Explain what the following clipped words stand for:

doz, lb, gal, lg, pkg

B Express in alternative words the following:

1) that junk on television; 2) 1 six-pack Macho beer; 3) 1 head lettuce; 4) it’ll be steak and caviar all the way; 5) he can barely afford hamburger; 6) a broken-down housewife; 7) I’ll bet; 8) let them get away with it.

C Give the Russian for:

1) … they keep begging me; 2) … Bob’ll be dozing in front of the TV; 3) disposable diapers; 4) Storm detergent; 5) a floor mop;
6) rat poison; 7) 1 bunch asparagus; 8) … damn them!

D Comment on the words from the text “Grocery List” given in

brackets:

1) The woman did not write them down, did she? What thoughts do these words convey? 2) What words from the text show the woman’s attitude to TV commercials? 3) What can you say about her husband’s usual way of spending Sundays? 4) Which words hint at the financial position of the family? 5) Do you guess what the woman regrets? 6) What makes the woman try to lose weight? 7) Who is meant by ‘she’ in the phrase: “I’ll bet she would be eating all the time…”? 8) What is the implication of the phrase ‘… they think I don’t even know about their affair! ’? 9) Who is the rat poison meant for? 10) Who is the phrase ‘damn them! ’ addressed to? 11) What creates the effect of humorous ambiguity at the end of the text?

E Make up a life story of the woman as you see it from her

remarks coupled with the items of the grocery list.

Text 6