Using Self-­Soothing Strategies to Calm Your Mind and Body

A very similar set of skills to those described previously involves caring for your body and soothing yourself physically throughout the day. As with the skills for reducing your vulnerability to stress, you can use the self-­soothing skills in DBT (Linehan 1993b) to prevent the negative effects of stress and increase your ability to manage the stress that you encounter. These skills can help you restore your resources throughout the day and continue to replenish those resources so that when stress arises unexpectedly, you can handle it better. The purpose of these skills is to care for and soothe your body by introducing comforting sensations to each of your five senses. Some of the sensations people find most soothing and comforting are described next (Linehan 1993b).

· Touch: Introduce sensations that soothe your body and feel good against your skin. Take a warm bubble bath. Sit in a hot tub or sauna. Get a massage. Play with your favorite pet, focusing on the feel of the pet’s fur against your skin. Relax in the sun, focusing on the warmth on your skin. Hug a friend or loved one. Put on clothing that has a soft, soothing texture, like a warm sweater, a soft flannel shirt, a soft cotton sweatshirt, or a silk top. Wrap yourself up in a warm, fluffy blanket. Sit in front of a fire and focus on the warmth you feel.

· Taste: Sip a cup of hot tea or cocoa (or some other hot drink). On a hot day, drink something cold, or eat a Popsicle or an ice cream bar. Eat your favorite comfort food, such as macaroni and cheese, sushi, a grilled-­cheese sandwich, mashed potatoes, fish and chips, or freshly baked bread. Eat dark chocolate (this also releases “feel-­good” chemicals). Eat a piece of very fresh fruit.

· Smell: Go to a flower shop (and pretend you’re shopping even if you’re not). Burn incense or light a scented candle. Inhale the aroma of lavender or vanilla. Go outside and breathe in fresh air. Bake cookies or fresh bread, and breathe in the aroma. Smell fresh coffee beans, or brew some fresh coffee.

· Sight: Look at pictures of loved ones or a favorite vacation spot. Look at pictures that you find soothing or that relax you, like pictures of the beach, a sunset, or a beautiful mountain. Go to the beach and watch the waves hit the sand. Watch a sunset. Watch the clouds in the sky. Watch your pet or children play or sleep. Go to a playground and watch children play.

· Hearing: Listen to relaxing music. Listen to birds sing. Listen to children playing. Take a walk through the woods and listen to the sounds of nature. Sit outside at dusk and listen to the crickets. Go to the beach and listen to the sound of waves crashing on the shore.

Use the following worksheet to see if you can come up with some of your own self-­soothing techniques. Anything you find comforting and nurturing might just do the trick!

Exercise 5.4 Identify Self-­Soothing Strategies

See if you can come up with some self-­soothing skills that would work for you. Focus on each of your five senses and different things that you find most comforting. See if you can identify five different activities for each sense.

Now that you have identified some self-­soothing techniques that may work for you, see if you can use one or two of these techniques each day. If you do, you may very well find that you are better able to handle stress when it comes up.