Chapter twenty-five. Melanie knew as soon as she set foot in her apartment that she didn't really want to be there

MELANIE KNEW AS soon as she set foot in her apartment that she didn't really want to be there. It looked exactly as it had when she left it, only covered with more dust. She dropped her suitcase on the hardwood floor and sifted through three weeks worth of mail. She tried valiantly to pretend she was actually paying attention to the return addresses for a good two and a half minutes before throwing the envelopes angrily to the floor. She'd managed to make the entire ride from Rochester to Chicago without shedding a tear, but now that she was so far away from the one person she wanted to be near most in the world, she was unable to stop the flow of emotion and it washed over her like an ocean wave, forcing her down against the couch with its intensity.

How had this happened? How had something that felt so right suddenly become so wrong? Why was it so hard for her to accept that she loved another woman? She didn't understand, a fact that was making her crazy, because understanding was something she normally did very well. She plodded to the bathroom to grab the box of Kleenex, then returned to the couch, blowing her nose loudly.

She was furious with Samantha. After all they'd been through together, Melanie couldn't believe the reaction her cousin had had.

Melanie had always been able to overlook Sam's selfish motives and conceited statements, because they had never extended to her. As Sam's flesh and blood, she'd always been safe from the biting comments and self-serving actions. This morning had hurt her more than she cared to admit, and Melanie had actually found a tiny bit of perverse pleasure in telling Sam about the bookshop.

She had to go back. It was that simple. She had the bookshop, her new apartment, and the movers already lined up. Bailing out like a coward was not an option she had ever entertained, and she certainly wasn't about to start now. No, she would return to Rochester, move into her new place and open The Quill is Mightier, just as she had originally planned. It was that other matter that she couldn't seem to sort out...the one about falling in love with a woman named Taylor, then proceeding to destroy the relationship Taylor had with her father in a matter of minutes.

Melanie was definitely having trouble with that one.

She was so angry with herself. If she had just kept to herself, not led Taylor on the way she had, stayed away from Ben from minute one, none of this would have happened. The father and daughter would have ended up casual acquaintances of Melanie, and their relationship would still be intact.

Melanie wondered about the validity of that statement. Would it have been that way? Could it have? The pull she felt drawing her to Taylor was undeniable and virtually unavoidable. She wasn't sure she could have stayed away from the gorgeous woman even if she'd wanted to. Which she hadn't.

As if she wasn't feeling enough guilt over the mess she'd made between Taylor and Ben, she started to wonder how Taylor was feeling. It was quite clear how the brunette felt about her. Nobody had ever made love to Melanie the way Taylor had. Nobody had ever worshipped her body that way, concerned with nothing more than Melanie's pleasure. She'd never been in bed with somebody that loving and that giving. Taylor loved her; that much was obvious. And how had Melanie reciprocated? By running like a scared child, leaving poor Taylor to wonder what was going on in Melanie's head and exactly where she stood.

Melanie dropped her head into her hands as fresh tears leaked from sad, blue eyes. Escape had seemed like a good idea that morning. Now, she wondered what kind of person she had become. She had never run from anything in her life, but she'd abandoned Taylor without a second thought.

" God, she must hate me, " she muttered aloud, raking her fingers through her hair in frustration, disgusted with her own behavior.

This whole mess was driving her nuts. She wanted things to slow down...wanted the myriad of thoughts swirling through her head like debris in the eye of a twister to stop, just for a minute, so she could catch her breath. She needed a touchstone, something, someone who knew her. She needed to be grounded. She needed familiarity. She craved it.

Without giving herself time to think twice, she picked up the cordless phone on the end table next to her and dialed a number.

" Hello? " The phone was answered on the first ring by a husky, male voice.

" Is Angela in? "

" Sure. Hang on."

There were muffled voices in the background, a child squealing happily, as if being tickled.

" Hello? " came the beloved voice. Melanie was amazed to feel herself immediately relax.

" Hi, Angela, " she said, unable to keep the smile out of her voice. God, it's good to hear her.

" Melanie. Oh my God, " Angela gushed. " Were your ears ringing? I was just talking about you today."

" As a matter of fact, they were." Melanie played along, letting the familiarity of Angela's voice drip over her like honey, soothing her anxieties immediately. " How are you? " She heard the child again, erupting into toddler-size giggles. " Is this a bad time? "

" For you? Nonsense. It's good to hear from you. I've been worried. I tried to call you last week, but there was no answer and I couldn't get your machine."

Melanie glanced at the phone, seeing the blinking red light that indicated the tape had run out. " I've been out of town. So, how are you? Everything okay? The kids? Grandkids? "

" Everybody's great. I found myself a terrific part-time job in a little flower shop near my house."

" Good for you." Melanie was glad to hear that Angela had found something that didn't force her to work ten-hour days, as she often had at Rucker and Steele. " You like it? "

" Love it. I practically run the joint, and I'm still home with plenty of time for dinner..." Angela stopped herself, stumbled a bit on her words. " Not that working for you—"

" Oh, please, Angela, " Melanie interrupted her. " You worked like a dog when you worked for me. I know that. I'm glad you found something better for you. Really."

" So, you went out of town, eh? " she asked slyly.

" Yes, I did. I took that break you suggested."

" Tell me all about it."

An outsider didn't need to hear one shred of the conversation to know how it affected Melanie. Her body visibly relaxed, sinking into the cushions of the couch, her feet making their way to the coffee table and propping themselves upon it comfortably. Melanie tucked her hair behind her ear, laughing often, eyes sparkling as she told the story of her incredible disappearing cousin and the bookstore that just fell into her lap. Talking to Angela, truthfully the one person in the world who knew her best, stabilized her instantly.

" You've mentioned this Taylor person an awful lot, " Angela commented after Melanie finished her recitation. Angela and Melanie had never gotten into such personal issues as one another's love lives, but the former secretary had never heard her ex-boss speak of anyone with such warmth and high regard. Melanie was like one of Angela's children, and Angela paid attention to her as such, monitoring the young woman's happiness as any mother would. She worked hard to keep the knowing smile from appearing in her voice. " She sounds like a nice girl."

" She's wonderful, " Melanie replied simply, the smile in her voice glaringly apparent.

They talked for another fifteen minutes about Angela's family, Melanie's move and what they missed and did not miss about their previous jobs. The conversation was like a magic elixir for Melanie. Suddenly, things didn't seem quite so bad...at least not anything she couldn't handle.

" Well, I'll let you get back to your family, " Melanie finally said, reluctant to end the connection. " It was great to talk to you. I've missed you."

" I've missed you, too, Melanie, " Angela said sincerely. " I think this bookstore is going to be good for you."

" You think so? "

" Everything will be fine. I'm sure of it."

Melanie heaved a sigh of relief, surprised by the calming effect of those simple words. She wished the bookstore was closer so she could steal Angela from the florist. " Thanks."

" You take care of yourself, Melanie. And call me once in a while."

" I promise."

Melanie stared at the phone in her hand for several long minutes after hanging up. Everything will be fine...

She crossed to the television and plugged it in, content to put the packing off for a few more hours. She flopped back onto the couch, unable to stop the growing smile that spread across her face when the mesmerizing, blue eyes of the Warrior Princess appeared on the television screen.