Patience

When you want to hear more from the other person you are patient, listening until they have finished speaking and not butting in with your views. Even when you have something to say or when they pause, you still patiently seek a full understanding of them and give them space in which to complete what they have to say.

Open body

Open body language shows that you are not feeling defensive and are mentally open to what they have to say (and hence not closed to their thoughts).

Slow nodding

Nodding shows agreement and also encourages the other person to keep talking. Fast nodding may show impatience, whilst a slower nod indicates understanding and approval.

Interest noises

Little noises such as 'uh huh' and 'mmm' show that you are interested, understand and want to hear more. They thus encourage the other person to keep talking.

Reflecting

When you reflect the other person back to them they feel affirmed and that you are aligned with them. Reflecting activities range from matching body language to paraphrasing what they say.

Student 5

Evaluating body language

A notable cluster of body movements happens when a person is thinking, judging or making some decision.

Language of evaluation

Hand movements

The classic signal of evaluation is the steepled hands which are clasped together, either looking like they are praying, with both hands pressed together, or with linked fingers and with index fingers only pointing upwards. The fingers pointing upwards may touch the lips.

Another common evaluative movement is stroking, often of the chin but possibly other parts of the face.

Other actions

Other evaluative signals include pursing lips, stroking the side of the nose and (if worn) peering over the top of spectacles ('To look more carefully at you').

Relaxed intensity

The body may well be relaxed and open. The person seems to be unafraid or even unaware of danger. However there is also a level of concentration, perhaps with pursed lips and an intense gaze. The chin may be resting in one or both palms.

Reasons for evaluation

There can be several reasons for a ready body language.

Deciding

A person who is evaluating may be making an important decision. If they are buying from you, they may be close to the point of closure.

Judging

In their decision-making, they may be judging. Perhaps this is you, something you are saying or something else. Watch how they change with what you say and try to figure this one out.