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CHAPTER TWELVE. GINNY SLEPT NAKED for the first time in years, her body yearning for someone's touch
GINNY SLEPT NAKED for the first time in years, her body yearning for someone's touch. Kara's touch. She laid still, her arms firmly at her sides while her mind raced, memories of Kara's lips still fresh. She closed her eyes, her body on fire. Before she realized it, her hands moved to her breasts, touching her erect nipples lightly, feeling her stomach churn with desire. Her breath came quickly as she pictured Kara's hands on her, touching just under her breasts. "Are you curious, too, as to how it would feel if I touched your breasts?" God, yes. And she knew, didn't she? Her hand moved lower, across her belly and she touched her soft hair, imaging Kara's hand there. Her legs parted and she touched herself, moaning softly at the wetness she found. Her hips moved on the bed, reaching out to her hand, to Kara's hand and her pulse pounded in her temples as she stroked herself, bringing herself closer to orgasm.
"No," she cried and pulled her hand away. She would not. "What am I doing?" God, it was Kara she wanted.
She rolled over onto her stomach, her body still trembling and wanting. Kara. She wanted Kara. The truth of her thoughts scared her to death. She wanted a woman. She wanted Kara. And she was scared.
She overslept. Nana was knocking impatiently on her door, asking if she was all right and Ginny forced herself out of her dream, her wonderful dream and she turned, eyes trying to focus on the door that opened slowly.
"Ginny?" Nana's voice was concerned.
"I'm sorry. What time is it?" she asked, her voice husky with sleep and desire.
"Nearly seven. Do you want me to open up?"
Ginny very nearly sat up, then she remembered her nakedness and slumped down again under the covers. "Would you mind? I'll be there in a few minutes."
"Are you sick?"
"No. I had trouble falling asleep is all," she said.
"You've been doing that a lot lately," Nana said.
"I'm fine, Nana."
Nana watched her for a moment longer, then smiled and told her to hurry. Ginny waited until the door closed before she stood and wrapped her robe around her, her breasts, her body, still aching for Kara's touch. She shoved at her hair, tucking it behind her ears and rubbed her face, trying to wake up. Her body felt like lead and she tried to hurry through her shower, but she stood for endless moments under the warm spray, reliving the night before, remembering Kara's hot mouth on hers. Remembering how seeking her own had been. And how natural it felt.
"God, I'm losing my mind," she murmured. Maybe she needed to call Phil. Maybe she just needed to be with him. It had been a long time, too long really. It wasn't normal to go without sex this long. That's all it was, surely, she thought. Why else would she be having these insane thoughts about another woman?
At the store, she stood listlessly behind the counter, pen poised over the inventory list, her eyes staring past it. Without conscious thought, she saw Kara, saw the two of them embracing; breasts touching, hips pressing together, lips seeking, tongues dueling.
"You've been working on that list for the last hour." Nana walked over and glanced over her shoulder. "You're still on the first page!"
"Sorry. I can't seem to concentrate," she murmured.
"Want me to do it?"
"No, Nana. I'm sorry," she said. "I'll do it."
"They close at five," she reminded her.
Nana left her and Ginny forced her eyes to the page, marking down the items they needed to order. She shut her eyes several times, trying to block out images of Kara as they came to her and she firmly put them from her mind, instead she forced herself to recall Phil and pictured herself kissing him, wanting him. But it was not Phil that had her body trembling with want.
Later, when the bell jingled over the door, she glanced up, afraid it would be Kara, but two women walked in. Ginny watched them and smiled slightly when they met her eyes. Were they lovers?
God, now she was thinking that every woman she met was a lesbian! Why would that even enter her mind? It never had before. But she stared at them, seeing the familiar glances they shared and knew instantly that they were lovers.
Suddenly, Kara swam before her eyes; Kara's mouth as she bent to Ginny; Kara's tongue as it pushed into her mouth, tasting every inch of her. Kara's hands, as they rested just under her breasts. And Ginny had wanted her to touch them. She wanted it now. She could feel her nipples harden at the thought and she longed for Kara's touch. Her stomach turned as she saw Kara's hands move over her breasts, cupping them, bringing them into her waiting mouth. Ginny was aware of the ache between her legs and she knew she wanted Kara's hands there, too. Oh, God... I want a woman.
"Hmmm?" Her mind tried to focus, but all she saw was Kara.
"Ginny!" Nana said again and touched her arm.
"I'm sorry. What?"
"You're a thousand miles away. These women are interested in fishing and I told them how you and your grandfather used to go all the time. Tell them how to find one of the lakes."
Ginny looked up and saw the women watching her and she blushed, fearing her thoughts were exposed.
"Are you familiar with the area?" she managed.
"We're camping out on Mill Creek, but the fishing's not very good there," one said.
"No. It never has been." Ginny smiled. "There's a local fishing spot, but if someone asks how you found it, don't you dare mention my name." She told them how to get to Battle Canyon Creek and the hidden lake, the one that Kara had sketched.
"Ginny, I'm worried about you," Nana said. "Why don't you go home early?"
"You opened. I can't very well let you close, as well."
"Don't be silly. Jessica is here. Why don't you call in the order, then go home. Get some sleep."
Ginny nodded, knowing full well that if she left the store, she wouldn't go to sleep. How could she sleep? Her traitorous body was threatening her, making demands that she could not, would not satisfy!
Oh, this insanity has got to stop! I'm not a lesbian, she told herself over and over again. I'm not attracted to women. I'm not attracted to... Kara. She shut her eyes to the imagines of last night and turned away from Nana quickly.
"Ginny? Are you all right?" Nana asked.
"Fine," she managed.
"Something's wrong. My God, you're as white as a sheet," Nana fussed. "Are you getting sick?"
"I'm... I just feel a little dizzy," she said and it was the truth.
"Will you please go home? I can do the order, Ginny." Nana reached up and felt her forehead, checking for fever and Ginny was surprised that Nana wasn't burned, considering how hot her body felt. "I don't think you have a fever," Nana said.
Oh, yes, I have a fever, all right! Ginny nearly laughed hysterically and she covered her mouth with her hand. I'm losing my mind!
But she went home, leaving the store to Nana. She stripped off her clothes and took a cold shower, then crawled into bed, her skin still damp and she closed her eyes, only then allowing Kara to intrude into her thoughts.
What is happening to me? How can that woman affect me so? Why now? She groaned and rolled her head into the pillow. It was her own fault, she knew. Kara would never have kissed her if Ginny hadn't practically begged her to. And why had she begged? Good Lord, had she been insane?
"I'm not a lesbian," she whispered. Of course not. There was Phil. She liked being with Phil. She liked sex with him. She rolled her eyes and sighed. Who was she kidding? It had never been great with Phil. In fact, it had never... stop! "I just haven't met the right man," she murmured. "That's all."
I won't see Kara again, she vowed. Not unless she comes into the store. Then she would have to be civil to her. But that was all. She would not allow Nana to invite her to dinner ever again. She would not go out sketching with her ever again. And eventually, the guilt and shame that she was feeling over that one indiscretion would fade and she would be normal again. She should be thankful that it had stopped with just a kiss. She laughed bitterly. Just a kiss? That was hardly just a kiss! Hadn't their bodies pressed together? Hadn't her body been screaming for Kara's touch upon her breasts?
Maybe she would call Phil. Maybe she would invite him to come visit. Sex. Maybe that was all she needed.