Chapter seventeen. Jill didn't know who was more surprised by the hug but she simply couldn't stop herself when Carrie walked out to the porch to meet her

Jill didn't know who was more surprised by the hug but she simply couldn't stop herself when Carrie walked out to the porch to meet her. Embarrassed, she pulled away, but Carrie kept a hold on her hand. Their eyes held for a long moment then Carrie finally grinned and released her.

" Miss me? "

Jill shrugged nonchalantly. " A little. Maybe."

" Sorry about the game."

" Not nearly as sorry as I am."

" Oh? He took it hard? "

" Like it was life or death, " Jill said. " I can't tell you how glad I am it's over."

" Well, come inside. I made us sandwiches. And if the rain stays away, we can go down to the pier later. Or we can just stay inside the sunroom."

" The wind is a little cold today, isn't it? "

" Yeah, I guess my prediction of an early spring was wrong, " Carrie said as she held the door to the sunroom open.

Jill squeezed her arm as she walked past. " Spring will be here before you know it." She stopped short when she walked into the sunroom. The small wicker table that sat in front of the garden loveseat was decorated with a colorful tablecloth, and a vase held half a dozen red roses. She turned slowly, finding Carrie's eyes.

" It's beautiful, " she said quietly.

Carrie shrugged and Jill noticed the slight blush that crept upon her face. " Nothing fancy, " she said. " I just bought the roses on a whim."

" It was... it was sweet of you, " Jill said lightly. She walked closer, bending to inhale the fragrance. She straightened with a smile. " Wonderful."

" Well, sit... relax. I'll bring out lunch."

" I can help."

" No, no. I've got it."

Jill watched her hurry into the cottage then she moved to the loveseat, taking her normal position on the end. Without thinking, she bent again to sniff the roses.

" I'm glad you like them, " Carrie said quietly behind her.

Jill turned, smiling before taking the tray from Carrie. It was laden with sandwiches on onion rolls, two large dill pickles, a small tray of potato chips and a bowl of fresh fruit. Carrie went back for the glasses of tea then joined Jill on the loveseat.

" You went to too much trouble, " Jill accused.

" Absolutely not. The strawberries are in season, I couldn't resist."

" Well, everything looks lovely, thank you." She picked up her sandwich and took a bite, moaning slightly as she tasted the spicy banana peppers Carrie had taught her to like.

" Tell me about the weekend, " Carrie coaxed as she popped a strawberry into her mouth.

Jill smiled. " I hate to admit it but I was secretly hoping we'd lose the first game. And there was not one thing relaxing about the weekend. We stayed in the same hotel where all the teams stayed. Imagine hundreds of high school kids roaming the halls."

Carrie gave an exaggerated shudder. " I try not to."

" And then there was the constant companionship of my mother-in-law. I swear I didn't have a moment to myself. Breakfast, lunch and dinner, the games—she was everywhere, " Jill said with a laugh. " Of course, Craig rode on the bus with the team, so Angie and I had the pleasure of driving down and back with them. Which surprisingly wasn't the worst part."

" Which was? "

" Which was when Craig got home." But she shook her head. " Enough of that. Tell me what you did over the weekend."

" Oh, it was totally stress-free and a little boring, " Carrie said as she put her sandwich down. " James was actually home at a decent hour Friday, so he took me and Aaron out to dinner. Josh was on a date, " she said with a smile. " I came out here on Saturday because the weather was so nice. Josh took Aaron and a couple of his friends to the mall and the movies, so I was able to spend the whole day out here. I got most of Joshua's old flowerbed cleaned out."

" I can't wait to see it."

" And I can't wait to plant flowers, " Carrie said.

" What about yesterday? What did you do? "

" Yesterday was one of the rare days where we were all actually home at the same time. I cooked a pot roast and we had a real family dinner, " she said. " It was just a lazy day."

" Lazy days are nice."

" Yes." Carrie looked away, then back at Jill. " I... I missed you. This weekend, I missed you."

Jill nodded. " I missed you too, " she said quietly. Blue eyes held hers and she didn't try to pull away. " I seem to miss you more and more, " she murmured.

" Do you think about me? "

" Yes."

" I think about you too. I didn't understand it at first. Then when I finally did understand it, it scared the hell out of me."

Jill frowned. " What do you mean? "

Carrie shook her head. " What's more scary is wondering if you feel it too, " she whispered.

Jill's heart pounded loudly in her chest and she forgot to breathe. She stared into the blue eyes that were so close, blue eyes she'd learned to read so well. The hammering of her pulse wasn't out of fear, she realized.

" Feel what? " she breathed.

" This. Feel this, " Carrie whispered as she leaned closer.

Jill knew what was happening but she still couldn't stop it. Her eyes slipped closed when she felt Carrie's lips brush across her own. She gasped at the contact then moaned as Carrie's mouth returned. Her own lips parted, moving with Carrie's as the kiss deepened. Warning bells clamored to be heard and it was only the sound of her ragged breathing that brought her to her senses.

She pulled away abruptly, her eyes wide as her fingers touched her lips where Carrie's mouth had been.

" Oh my God, " she whispered. She shook her head, finally standing, backing away. An immediate look of regret crossed Carrie's face.

" Jill, God, I'm so sorry. I don't know what came over me. I just... I misread you, I guess. I misread all of this, " she said as she stood, walking closer.

Jill shook her head and moved farther away. Misread her?

" Your friendship means more to me than anything, Jill. Please, I'm so sorry. I'm just an idiot."

Jill backed up then headed quickly to the door, her eyes still wide. " I've got to go, " she whispered.

" No, please don't go. I am so, so sorry. Please..."

Jill opened the door then stopped, turning around to face Carrie. Their eyes held and Jill could no longer deny what was so blatantly obvious. They'd been innocently touching for weeks.

" Yes, " she whispered.

Carrie frowned. " Yes what? "

" Yes, I feel it too, " Jill said quickly before she fled from the cottage.

I won't see her again.

But the thought brought pain akin to a physical blow. She wrapped both arms around herself and put the swing in motion. How could she not see her? Her body hadn't felt so alive in years—and all from the briefest of kisses from another woman.

A woman.

She closed her eyes. A woman. But not just any woman. Carrie. Carrie, who had become her closest friend, her confidant, her escape. Carrie, who had begun to creep into her thoughts when she shouldn't have.

How could she not see her?

And the kiss? What about the kiss?

Jill felt the unfamiliar fluttering of her heart at just the thought of them kissing. A tiny kiss but a kiss nonetheless. But what did it mean?

She closed her eyes again. You know what it means. You know exactly what it means.

Yes, she knew what it meant, she wasn't that naive. And if she saw her again, what? Would Carrie continue to apologize? Would they blow it off as temporary insanity? Or would they talk about it, discuss it, analyze it?

Or would they simply pretend it never happened?

No. How could they? The attraction that Jill was trying to hide from—run from—was staring her right in the face. An attraction she didn't know what to do with, an attraction that had been teetering on the edge of physical, of sexual, for weeks now.

Refusing to acknowledge it wasn't going to make it go away. But accepting it wasn't something Jill thought she was prepared to do.

Because if she accepted it, her life would never be the same.