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Annie, Nick and Hector






No!

 

BRIDGET

He’s invited me to dinner tonight, because he wants to – talk to me about a NEW JOB!

 

HECTOR

Who is Howard?

 

ANNIE

Bridget’s boss.

 

BRIDGET

Ah, he is so rich, he’s so clever and he wants to see me!!

He might offer me a promotion!

What shall I wear?

I have nothing to wear!

No, wrong!

 

NICK

Huh!

 

BRIDGET

So last season.

 

NICK

Bet Howard can’t ride a motorbike.

 

BRIDGET

Nope!

 

ANNIE

… He does give Bridget promotion, although I have heard – Howard has a nickname!

 

BRIDGET

What was I thinking?!

 

NICK

What?

 

ANNIE [whispers]

An octopus!

 

NICK

An octopus?!

 

HECTOR

Oh, the octo-pus!

 

NICK

Is he meeting her alone?

 

ANNIE

Yes.

No, no!

Bridget needs help!

 

HECTOR

We must stop her!

 

NICK

I have an idea.

Why don’t you eat here?

 

BRIDGET

No!

 

ANNIE

Yes, then we can both talk to your boss about your new job!

 

BRIDGET

Where, here?

No, no way.

 

NICK

I could cook for you!

 

BRIDGET

Huh!

Definitely not, no!

 

HECTOR

And I could be your waiter!

 

BRIDGET

Mmm.

 

HECTOR

I want to be your waiter.

 

BRIDGET

Yeah, OK then, but be serious!

 

NICK

But don’t worry, we will help you get your promotion.

Leave it to us!

 

ANNIE [composing email]

‘Nadia.

Hector wants a job.’

 

HECTOR

I am going – to look for a job.

 

ANNIE

‘But it’s difficult.

What can he do?

He can’t work in a launderette and he can’t work as a gardener.’

ANNIE

My plant!

 

BRIDGET

Hmm. [Composing email]

‘He can’t work as a cook, but then we saw the job for Hector, a waiter.’

 

HECTOR

A waiter?

 

NICK

Yeah you know. [Whistles]

[Composing email]

‘And Bridget’s boss, Howard wants to take her out to dinner tonight.

I wonder why? ’

NICK

OK, Hector, you are the waiter, so you must set the table.

 

HECTOR

Yes, I have set the table, but there is one problem.

 

NICK

A problem?

 

HECTOR

The table is too small.

 

NICK

The table is too small?

 

HECTOR

Yes, look.

 

NICK

Hector, this is set for twelve courses!

 

HECTOR

Dinner at home is always like this.

 

NICK

Oh yes!

You are a million… [whispers] You are a millionaire.

This is just a little dinner for Bridget’s boss – OK?

 

HECTOR

OK.

 

NICK

OK.

I am a customer!

 

HECTOR

Where would you like to sit?

 

NICK

Hmm.

Here.

[Clears throat]

 

HECTOR

Oh, I … … …

The bill.

 

NICK

Not yet!

The menu first!

 

HECTOR

Oh, sorry, erm … [clears throat]

The menu.

 

NICK

Forget the menu.

What have you got today?

 

HECTOR

To eat?

 

NICK

To eat.

 

HECTOR

Today, as dish of the day, I have a delicious hot cat.

 

NICK

A hot cat?!

That’s a hot dog.

 

HECTOR

Ah! Hot cat, hot dog!

[Laughs] … Cat, hot … [Laughs]

 

NICK

Oh no!

 

ANNIE

Oh, how’s it going?

 

HECTOR

Great!

Nick is a good teacher.

 

ANNIE

Let’s see.

 

NICK

Ah-ah, Hector’s café is now closed.

 

HECTOR and ANNIE

Oh!!

 

Sound of knocking on door

 

ANNIE

I’ll get it.

 

DELIVERY MAN

Delivery, Miss Evans and Miss Taylor.

 

ANNIE

Oh, Thank you!

Bridget, look!

 


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