The Sliver of Mirror

“I want all of you to get something into your head! Protection from spirits is the most important subject, which guides contemporary magic! Next to protection from spirits, removal of evil eye — pooh, nothing! A waste of time! ” Slander said contemptuously when the second grade gathered for his class the first time.

The dean, as before, thoroughly smelled of fish, and duckweed stuck to his nose. It was obvious that he had spent the entire night again in the embraces of the mermaid, singing saucy songs with her on the shore of the pond. They gossiped that, using the patronage of Slander, the sly mermaid dragged from somewhere dozens of her relatives, and once and for all they bewildered the enamoured dean, from sunset till dawn singing and dancing in a ring with him.

True, Slander’s nature did not improve a bit from this. His diminutive eyes, precisely gimlets, as before bored into the misbehaving, and he himself, as before, threatened to turn everyone into a zombie.

“So, you say the most important subject is protection from spirits. And evil spirits study is also nothing? ” Coffinia quickly asked, dreaming for a long time to set Slander on Medusa.

“Well... eh-eh... studies of evil spirits... eh-eh... I would not rush to call it nothing... Evil spirits, also evil spirits in Africa, at least if examined... And in general, all stupid questions — after class! ” Slander snapped.

Cryptova smiled sarcastically. She knew that if Slander were afraid of anyone in Tibidox, then it would only be Medusa, especially when Docent Gorgonova’s hair started to hiss.

Shurasik, according to his habit of writing everything to the last word of the instructors (including cough, slips of the tongue, and empty words like “that is to say” or “well this”), immediately began to scratch with his pen, putting all details into his notebook. After an entire year of solitude when Sardanapal and Medusa were separately busy with him, Shurasik was finally allowed to join the classes. True, now he was already in the “dark” department — indeed it already cannot be helped here...

“Ahem! Concentrate! Does everyone know the difference between evil eye and possession by spirits? ” Slander asked.

Shurasik began to moan from a burning desire to share his knowledge and immediately started to put his hand up, but the dean wisely pretended that he noticed nothing.

“My point exactly, you don’t understand the simplest things! ” Slander continued didactically. “Then memorize! Evil eye forces you to do specific things in a specific time and — nothing more. But here possession by spirits is much more serious. Spirits, deprived of bodies, malicious, persistent, tireless, attempt to install themselves in you and to completely bend you to their wills. Yes, with this you’ll remain among the living, but even evil spirits have more freedom in their actions than one enslaved by spirits! ”

Tanya was distracted from her notebook. The dean’s balding head, covered with rare dark fluff, gleamed dully, reflecting the torches in the walls. The magic ring, which he out of habit was turning on his ring finger, constantly crackled, though Slander uttered no spell.

Bab-Yagun, sitting next to Tanya, was quieter than water and keeping a lower profile than grass since the morning. He had all reasons to fear Slander — too often he drove Slander hopping mad and then skilfully used the protection of his granny and the geniality of Sardanapal.

Even the evening before, Yagun, convinced that Slander would set on him a whole pile of spirits, decided to secure himself and now seemed twice as fat as usual. His leather jacket was bulging with talismans and amulets tied up inside. Furthermore, Yagun was clearly hiding in the inside pocket something sufficiently impressive and bulky, because of which he could not even move his arm. What precisely — Tanya did not know.

And that Yagun’s fears were not groundless, Tanya was very soon convinced: the dean was continually addressing him.

“Please notice, Yagun, I force nobody — I emphasize ‘no-bo-dy’ — to attend my classes. They are absolutely voluntary! You can roam along the corridors, fool around, or pick your nose. Even if everyone gets up and stomps away from here — I’ll not keep anybody and will even write nothing in the mark book! ”

Vanka in doubt cleared his throat and exchanged glances with Katya Lotkova. And even to the rest, to tell the truth, this assertion of the dean seemed suspicious.

And meanwhile Slander continued insinuatingly:

“Yes, yes! Do everything deemed necessary to you! But at the next test, I warn you, I’ll set loose on the class an entire jug of spirits famished for bodies, and then... then some of you will abruptly be deprived of your own personality... The least that awaits negligent students is to become zombies. I emphasize: the least... Do you understand me correctly, Yagun? And you, Grotter? And nothing to smile spitefully at, Cryptova! By the way, this also relates to you! I’ll laugh when it comes time to check your knowledge! ”

Slander complacently smirked and, reaching for a small comb, repaired the few little hairs on his head. Tanya observed, also from Uncle Herman, that the less hair a man has, the more often he is in the barbershop.

Gunya Glomov, sitting at the furthest desk, was about to try to mimic the dean, but he had hardly made a face when Slander, without turning around, bellowed:

“Glomov! Get up! March out of the class! ”

Gunya got up and, stepping on everybody’s feet, dejectedly began to stomp to the exit. He knew that it was useless to argue.

“Till the exam, my sweet! With me and... with the spirits! ” Slander bade him farewell, and with a spell slammed the door behind Gunya.

“Till the exam...” his tongue sticking out with enthusiasm, Shurasik wrote down in his notebook. It was clear that it had nothing to do with the theme of the lesson, but Shurasik had a habit of learning by heart everything to the last letter. Simply just in case. Moreover, Shurasik had learnt long ago that Teaches at exams love to hear only their own words.

Meanwhile, Slander moved on to the dictation, obviously having decided that he had already sufficiently intimidated everyone. He dictated quickly, jerkily, and sufficiently indistinctly. Furthermore, many spells that he uttered persistently did not want to be written on paper and immediately disappeared.

“And it’s already your problem! Should have trained your memory instead of loafing on the beach the entire summer! ” Slander stated with explicit pleasure, answering the timid peep of Shurasik, reporting that an entire page of his had faded.

After approximately a quarter of an hour Slander vigilantly looked at the class and ended the dictation.

“I see, many are no longer writing... Perhaps, possibly, you have decided that you already know everything. I — hee-hee! — completely understand your impatience to move faster to practice. Better to see once than to hear a hundred times, isn’t that true, Yagun? And that suddenly someone, in sympathy with the moronoids, will decide that there are no spirits and everything that I describe to you is normal teacher’s nonsense? ” He asked insinuatingly, turning to the class.

And a second later in Slander’s hands appeared by itself a small clay vessel covered with ancient characters. The vessel looked as if it had spent a long time in the earth or at least in dampness. On the neck of the jug a label stood out in splendour: “Depository of spirits of Tibidox. Date of imprisonment, see the seal. Alcohol 22%. Sugar 160 g/dm5 Unnatural admixtures not more than 4.2%. Period of potency is unlimited.”

“How interesting! Please tell us, what’s the date of imprisonment? ” I-want-to-be-expert-on-everything Shurasik immediately came alive.

Slander Slanderych unwillingly glanced at the seal.

“Ah-ha, nonsense... Altogether only the first millennium before our era, ” he growled and slowly lifted the vessel overhead.

Grasping what would happen now, Dusya Dollova screeched shrilly and tried to become a gingerbread. Shurasik began to quickly crawl under the desk, continuing to scribble something in his notebook. Kuzya Tuzikov... though they say some dystrophic ones among the moronoids hide behind fishing rods... why is it surprising that the hereditary magician Tuzikov (his father, by the way, caught and revived the not unknown dog Mumu!) managed to disappear behind his jet broom? This broom he dragged everywhere with him and even, according to rumour, placed under his blanket at night.

“Murder! Someone, please raise a monument for me! ” Cryptova wailed, looking from under the chair.

“What’s the matter, second grade? ” The dean bellowed. “What are these cheap emotions for? Of course this is neither the strongest nor the most dangerous spirit in existence. After all, it’s the first class. True, no one seriously knows what these spirits have in mind. Not excluding that, freed, it’ll decide to install itself in someone, driving away the host, so please follow your own notes...”

Slander smiled in explicit anticipation: obviously he considered that no one could have intelligent notes: everything had faded.

“Well then, my dears... A spirit, which has been in imprisonment for several thousand years, will take anything into its head? Isn’t it true, Yagunchik? ” The dean added quite insinuatingly and in a suspiciously affectionate voice.

Bab-Yagun did not answer anything. Tanya heard how his knees were shaking under the desk.

Meanwhile, taking pleasure in the universal horror, Slander unclenched his hands. The clay vessel struck against the stone floor and broke into smithereens. The mysterious signs on the fragments melted. Something invisible and simultaneously tangible appeared in the air. The classroom in a blink of an eye was filled with a thousand voices. The voices sounded everywhere — loud, angry, in hundreds of different languages. Here were weeping, and shouts, and hysterical laughter.

Yagun clutched at the desk. His talismans were cracking deafeningly, reacting to the presence of unnatural forces. It seemed as if firecrackers exploded in his pockets. After each explosion the grandson of Yagge shot up on the chair and unsuccessfully attempted to tear away his jacket, but he did not manage to because the next talisman on him had already burst.

Slander Slanderych smirked gloatingly, watching his desperate attempts:

“Please remember, second grade! Here is an obvious case of chronic stupid bungling for you! Certain types of shielding talismans do not protect from spirits as much as attract them. Moreover, the magic of one talisman frequently cancels the magic of the rest...”

BANG! Yagun shot up to the ceiling.

“And here’s what happens to those who are too overcautious to avoid responsibility. Don’t you want to share your sensations with the class, master grandson? Is it true they cannot be matched? ” Slander reasoned.

But Bab-Yagun had no desire to share his sensations with anyone. He hurriedly stripped off his exploding, smoking jacket.

The voices howled. The torches spat sparks. Some emitted fumes and died, proceeded by jealous streams of smoke. It seemed something invisible was floating along the wall, steadily approaching Yagun. Shurasik, sitting under the desk as in an entrenchment, hurriedly muttered incantations; however, he clearly did not have enough confidence, the sparks shooting out from his ring were quite weak.

Finally Yagun managed to deal with the “lightning.” After lowering the jacket a little from his shoulders, he quickly snatched something out of the inside pocket and tossed it up over his head.

“Oh, my granny mama! Here’s to you! Take that! ” He shouted.

It seemed to Tanya that it was a sliver of a black mirror. Hundreds of shadows rushed to it as if an unknown force attracted them. And then Yagun was seemingly pushed in the chest by a gust of wind. He took one half-step back but kept his balance. For a moment something vague, vile, and faceless was reflected in the mirror — it was reflected, roared, and stepped back...

“E-O-O-O-W! ” A terrible, ever increasing roar filled the classroom. Glass shattered. It seemed the eardrums would break any minute now.

“ Paranoius roofus obliterates! Decrepitude culminates! ” Someone shouted in a thin, constrained voice.

Tanya turned towards the shout and hardly recognized the stern dean. As if Slander Slanderych had been replaced. The crooked malicious smile had disappeared from his face, seemingly wiped off by a wet rag. Now his face was distorted by horror. Slander again screamed out incantations.

His ring flashed a pair of red sparks, but almost immediately they fused, and the ring fell from his finger. The dean howled from the pain.

But in the class a real storm was already raging. Desks shook and shook, exactly subjecting to a surprise attack of poltergeists. Notebooks were torn into shreds and students were showered by a snowstorm. Slander, left without his ring, undertook nothing. He only blew on his finger and maliciously flashed with his eyes.

The door was torn away from the hinges. Something intangible, furious, powerful, passed along the corridor and became quiet, died down, and shattered in the labyrinths of Tibidox.

Coming to, Slander Slanderych ran up to Bab-Yagun and, snatching away his mirror, broke it into smithereens. Then, crunching with his arthritic knees, he began to dance on the splinters.

“Do you understand what a mess you have made, huh? Turning you into a zombie is not enough, huh! Be thankful that I don’t have a ring! I would change you into an earthworm for twenty years! But did you see this, huh? ” He screamed, trampling down on the broken glass.

“But why? What have I done? ” Bab-Yagun whispered.

He was standing lost and green, not understanding what had happened.

“No, you heard: ‘What a mess I have made! ’ I’ll explain to you! This spirit was not dangerous, but your idiotic glass spoiled everything! And don’t say that you didn’t know! The spirit, seeing itself in the mirror, becomes stronger by hundreds of times, ” spattering saliva, the dean began to shout.

“But I... read that a black mirror pacifies spirits...” Yagun attempted to object.

“Must turn such readers into zombies! Here’s a moronoid! Either read attentively or don’t read at all! Yes, it pacifies, but not all spirits, only the weak and the fading! But in no way those recently from imprisonment! Could never touch them at all! I would have pacified it by other means! But now... now it’s not known what all this will lead to! ”

“Please allow me to ask, but what spirit is this? ” Shurasik was interested, pulling his pale nose from under the desk.

Slander dully stared at him. It seemed he understood the posted question altogether with difficulty.

“The spirit of unfavourable chances! ” He finally growled.

Rita On-The-Sly raised her eyebrows.

“The spirit of unfavourable chances? That’s all? Is it really so dangerous? ” She was interested with her usual haughtiness.

Slander turned to her with his entire body. Rita squealed and screened herself with her hands. She felt like two small icy gimlets furiously drilled into the bridge of her nose.

“‘Is it really so dangerous? ’” Slander hissed. “No, you listen to what this ass is saying! The spirit of unfavourable chances is strong as never before... There simply cannot be anything worse. Especially after Sardanapal and I.., however, it’s not important... The last straw is to also have rumours crawling around about this! Morons! ”

The dean waved his hand, stooped, and went out into the corridor. Along the way he stumbled against the knocked out door, but even did not notice this. The corridor had already been filled with students and instructors — classes in the entire school were interrupted. And what classes could there be after what happened?

“I hope, at least they’ll not cancel dragonball practice. After the break I haven’t been practicing instantaneous turn. Besides, Nightingale promised to show the bewitched pass today, ” Tanya thought.

* * *

In the evening Vanka Valyalkin, Tanya, and Bab-Yagun sat near a zoomer, on which a juicy apple was rolling swiftly, and, experiencing the worst presentiments, they waited for Latest Magnews. In principle the zoomer, resembling a large tin dish, could also work without the apple, but the image was much clearer with it.

Suddenly the zoomer emitted a high-pitched unpleasant sound, started to vibrate, the apple jumped up, and on the screen appeared a witch trying to make herself look younger. She looked well. At most it was possible to give her about three hundred — three hundred and thirty years, although, of course, everybody knew that she was way beyond six hundred years old. The witch’s right eye flaunted an opaque cornea, which she skilfully covered with long bangs, and the sharp-nosed face also sparkled with such malice.

“Bad evening, my non-dear cursed ones! ” She began. “With you is your Nagiana Pripyatskaya! Kiss-kiss to all who love me, and thousands of evil eyes to other musty enviers weaving intrigue in order to remove me from zoomer ether! You are watching Latest Magnews! In today’s edition: the thaw of Antarctica glaciers leads to a change in the magic fields of the planet. The commentaries of Doctor Felix Frigid... The war between the Bryansk werewolves and the Hungarian vampires has acquired the nature of a protracted military conflict. The werewolves stock silver bullets. The vampires, in response, threaten to use sneezing aerosols and magspray with conditioner in a magphone. Will Magciety of Jerky Magtion interfere? ”

“It’ll not interfere! For a long time the Magciety of Jerky Magtion have been totally indifferent! They became too fussy with food, won’t even meddle with the problems of the moronoids, ” Vanka Valyalkin stated.

Nagiana Pripyatskaya squinted with curiosity and winked the eye with the opaque cornea. It could even be possible to make up one’s mind that the witch had overheard, if she then did not hurry to rattle off the news: “And finally, the last sensational piece of news! In Tibidox during a normal class a dangerous spirit has been set at liberty. What is this: annoying carelessness or an infamous plot? With this question we turned to the head of the dark department of Tibidox, Professor Sigmund Stinktopp, with which we succeeded in establishing a zoomer maglink... Please tell us, Professor, how will you comment on the latest events? I’m certain that the hearts of all honest magicians are struggling now in anxiety: what indeed is happening with Tibidox? Is everything really everything so catastrophic? ”

A dumbfounded Tanya almost fell from her chair. She never suspected that Professor Stinktopp had a name! On top of that — Sigmund!

The apple on the tin dish stopped and rolled to the other side. On the screen appeared Professor Stinktopp’s yellow face resembling a horseradish.

“Oh yes! Zis is global katastroff! Especially now, ven ze Hair of Ze Ancient One is not protecting anyone anymore! Ve ze whole day vant to catch ze spirit, but couldn’t! I told Academician Sardanapal, many times repeated offer and offer again, but he didn’t take any measures. Ran past all ze ears! It’s a scandalous fact! Ze respected associate Chernomoroff is entirely cuckoo...” Stinktopp informed her, gloatingly inflating his cheeks.

“What you do have in mind as ‘cuckoo? ’ You assume that Sardanapal has gone out of his mind? You have serious bases for suspicion? ” Nagiana was immediately interested.

Her long nose stretched out with anticipation of the sensational.

“No! It’s a descriptiff expression! I only haff in mind: Sardanapal lost control of ze situation...” Stinktopp corrected himself. “Soon ze whole Tibidox — BOOM! — vill blow up and ze academician vill only complain and heehaw in his office viz Medusa Gorgonoff, who looks at him viz adoring eyes like a stupid cat! Zere! ”

“Oh, you want to say: they have a romance? ” Nagiana purred.

“I vant to say nozing! I only perform my ciffic duty and report a naked fact! It’s my personal opinion, experience imposed by life! ” Stinktopp started to become embarrassed.

Nagiana Pripyatskaya nodded significantly.

“I understand you, Professor... Another question. Last year in Tibidox all possible troubles took place continually. Many have living in their memory the moments when the hair of The Ancient One was cut in two and the Sinister Gates were almost opened. Later that blood-curdling account with the Vanishing Floor... And now a new extraordinary accident. Isn’t this too much for one little school? ” She asked.

“I already implied it’s all because of Sardanapal! He again clap-clap viz his ears! Vile such a head is in Tibidox, I’m not surprised zat efferyzing is an absolute nightmare! Kaput contemporary magic, kaput ancient traditions, kaput efferyzing! My heart pours blood effery time ven I get furious at vhat happens in ze school! ” The professor imparted categorically.

“A very daring statement! I’m astounded by your civic courage! ” Nagiana encouragingly said. “And one more question, Professor, if you don’t mind. What do you think, if another magician became the head of Tibidox, would overcome this situation? And whom would you personally propose in place of Sardanapal? ”

Professor Stinktopp reddened and began to fidget with a leg.

“Oh, you gaff me an indiscreet qvestion! Efferyone knows, I propose myself, I haff long proposed myself! I say: Sigmund Stinktopp has a firm hand! He vould bring discipline to Tibidox! I vould haff effery bum dancing attendance — no anarchy, no trick of young brats! I already sent a protest note to ze Magciety of Jerky Magtion! I am confident zat soon Sardanapal vill be remoff and a new experienced head appears in ze Tibidox School for difficult to raise magicians! ”

“But someone can object that Sardanapal has numerous merits notwithstanding Tibidox, ” Nagiana observed carefully.

“Oh yes, I vould not hasten to abuse Sardanapal as ze last vords, ” Stinktopp corrected himself. “In ze old times of Tsar Gorokh Sardanapal had many merits! He is a great magician, but he needs a deserffed rest. To sit before ze fireplace, to drink varm vine, to quietly read a good book. But ze heaffy burden of management I’ll take upon myself.”

“Magnificent, Professor! I was not mistaken in you! ” Nagiana Pripyatskaya quickly moved her sharp nose and, with a light flick of her finger removing Stinktopp from ether, continued:

“We’ll inform you of further course of events! I remind you that we had as guest the respected black magician, head of the dark department of the school of Tibidox, Professor Sigmund Stinktopp...”

Vanka Valyalkin jumped. He was literally seething with indignation.

“No, did you hear? Stinktopp intends to scheme against Sardanapal and become head of Tibidox! Interesting, how will Medusa treat Stinktopp’s statement? He called her a stupid cat! Personally I don’t envy him...”

“No one envies Stinktopp. Indeed there’s no doubt about that. He has never even had an evil eye put on him. His life has also been so smooth, ” Tanya supported him.

To her Stinktopp’s very statement seemed like the sheerest delirium. Can it really happen that Sardanapal, the most powerful magician of the present, the student of The Ancient One, would be removed from control of Tibidox? Nonsense! One cannot even imagine it!

But immediately in her memory involuntarily floated up the tight cell presented to her in the seething cauldron in the class on practical magic. No, this is all nonsense! This cannot be because it can never be! And no more of this — it’s enough to hammer any delirium into the head!!!

Unexpectedly the zoomer, which they had almost forgotten about, burst out with a crackling tirade:

“The long-awaited magnews of sports. They just informed me that yesterday the Invisibles met with the Polar spirits, as a result the Spirits lost with a crushing score of 5: 16. The winning ball was thrown by Gury Puper, the fifteen-year-old star of the team of the Invisibles. Soon Tibidox and the Afghan genies will meet in the semi-final. The team that comes out on top in this contest will battle in the final with the incomparable Invisibles... Personally it seems to me that precisely the Genies will come through to the final. The victories of the Tibidox team appeared random and unconvincing. At least, so declares the acknowledged expert, the chairman of the board of referees Grafin Cagliostrov...”

“I’m mad! Let me come across this Grafin! I’ll change him into a rotten stump! ” Bab-Yagun was angry.

Despite his raging with righteous anger, Tanya treated his assertion without any special faith. It was too well known to her how poor Yagun was with general magic. Even the simplest transformations gave him enormous difficulty. Perhaps Yagun also recalled this, because a minute later he was already grousing about something else.

“Gury Puper — star of the team of Invisibles! But did you hear this? Puper — practically Grotter! Such a coincidence! Simply some insolent plagiarism, I’m mad! ” He exclaimed with indignation.

Vanka Valyalkin hesitated. He was not so categorically antagonized.

“And I agree with you! I heard about Gury Puper. They say this fellow also plays really marvellously. Despite flying on a broom even, ” he said.

“On a broom? My granny mama! Generally it’s not possible to fly on a broom! What aerodynamics can there be? It’s simply a stick with a bunch of branches, let’s be quite frank! The first air pocket, and that’s it — dead meat! I’m sure it turns even worse than Zhikin’s mop! And even then, does the broom really have a tank? And if there’s no tank, where are the mermaid scales kept? ” Bab-Yagun began to argue.

“You talk about scales once more, I’ll get cranky...” Vanka spoke noncommittally.

An inflamed Yagun gripped him by the shoulders and started to shake.

“But you tell me, tell me! Where are the scales loaded? And the hose, where is its hose? There is no hose! And since there’s no hose — I don’t want to see your Puper! ” He exclaimed.

“Leave him. I also don’t understand, what’s with the scales here? You know very well that I also don’t fuel up my double bass and it flies wonderfully! ” Tanya objected conciliatory.

At the same time she kept slightly out of the way so that the indignant Yagun, swinging his arms like a mill, would not by chance hit her nose. In the heat of a discussion he was capable of more than that.

“Your double bass is a different matter. Theophilus Grotter made it nevertheless. And Theophilus Grotter was a great magician, ” Yagun categorically stated.

Tanya wanted to ask what he, in that case, thought about Kuzya Tuzikov’s jet broom, which also flies without fuel, and about Rita On-The-Sly’s guitar with a trailer, but Yagun was already sulking. The girl decided that it would be better to keep silent. After all, it is always easier to lose friends than to make them.

Unexpectedly someone began to drum on the window. The window was thrown open. A cupid in red suspenders flew in. In a businesslike matter looking around in search of jam, he shoved Yagun a birch bark roll. Like the majority of magic rolls, the white birch bark seemed completely clean, but Yagun had to apply his ring to it before letters flared up demandingly on the white birch bark:

“The recipient of this is to appear urgently in Sardanapal’s office! ”

“Oh, my granny mama! ” Yagun was sad. “I don’t like all this! Appear when? ”

“Already five minutes ago!!! And no tricks! White birch bark is sent by registered cupid with a notice on receiving!!! ” The document responded.

Convinced that he would not manage to get out of it, Yagun sadly sighed.

“I bet you anything this is Slander smearing me! Now wait for a dressing down, ” he said.

“And then some! ” The white birch bark assured him.

Soon Vanka Valyalkin, Tanya, and Yagun were already standing in front of the double doors. One of the sphinxes depicted on it opened its eyes. At the same time ruby-coloured letters flared up on the door:

“Yagun, hurry! The laureate of the award of Magic Suspenders, the for-life and posthumous head of the school of Tibidox, the academician of white magic Sardanapal Chernomorov awaits you! ”

“Well, I’m going in! Keep your fingers crossed for me! ” Yagun whispered.

Tanya and Vanka Valyalkin tried to rush in behind Yagun in order to defend him together, but the sphinx jumped from the door. It blocked their way and began to growl quietly, baring small but very sharp teeth. The door was slammed shut.

Tanya only had time to notice that in the office, besides Sardanapal, there were also Medusa, Yagge, Slander Slanderych with a bandaged hand and... Professor Stinktopp.

“And where is this coming from? ” Tanya was surprised. “Very interesting business! And Medusa doesn’t jump on him! I don’t understand these adults! ”

* * *

Bab-Yagun remained in Sardanapal’s office for not less than an hour. And, as it was possible to assume, this hour was not the best hour of his life. From time to time on the outside were heard excited voices and even some suspicious sounds — it seemed someone pounded a fist on the table. After each hit the sphinxes on the doors began to get agitated and lash with their tails.

“Yes, I don’t envy Yagun! ” Vanka sighed.

“Uh-huh. And why did he do it? He only wanted to do his best. One would think he had taken the mirror out of malice! ”— Tanya nodded.

Suddenly the door was thrown open and out jumped the grandmother of Bab-Yagun — Yagge. Tanya barely recognized the always even-tempered mistress of magic station. The colourful gipsy shawl was brought down onto her shoulders. The hair under the shawl was entirely grey. From the cherry pipe poured out such black and thick smoke it was as if a steam-locomotive furnace, at least, was hiding inside.

“What a disgrace! You’re so pig-headed! Exactly like your papa, this wily upstart from the moronoids! What would your mother say if she were alive! Here it’s my fortune to have such a grandson! ” Yagge screamed, turning to Bab-Yagun trudging behind.

In the corridor Yagun unnoticeably remained and approached his friends. He looked depressed. As if they had put him through a meat grinder and then glued him back together in a hurry. The near-sighted Yagge, not noticing that the grandson was already not beside her, was hidden behind the turn. Her grumbling gradually faded in the distance.

“Well, what happened? Spill! ” Vanka impatiently asked.

Yagun turned away. His protruding ears had ripened to a saturated raspberry colour. It even seemed to Tanya that heat was pouring out of them.

“Well, I tell you... nothing, ” he mumbled.

“What nothing? ”

“But it’s like this, nothing... They were shooting the breeze. The spirit, they say, can in no way be caught. And all because of a stupid sliver, which I took from the Vanishing Floor. They were swearing and criticising the entire hour. Slander and Medusa, and Sardanapal... Granny defended me, only this is indeed already not the first time. Here she was also angry that they didn’t listen to her. They dredged up all sorts of old minor offences and decided that they must take me in hand seriously so that I don’t end up behind the Sinister Gates... Sardanapal also said: you know we’re punishing you for your own good. Indeed he must blurt out such and still be an academician! ”

“And so, how did they punish you? Sent to gather stinkbugs? Or braid earthworms into a ten-metre rope? ” Tanya guessed, recalling the most widespread disciplinary actions.

The voice of Yagun trembled suspiciously, but immediately he took himself in hand and dropped offhandedly:

“A trifle... They shot me to the dark magicians and took away the silver mouthpiece. In a word, I’m no more a white magician or a commentator. I’m no more anyone. There.”

Tanya was stunned. She understood that it was necessary to say something, to comfort him somehow, but she suddenly lost all the words. Why such a severe punishment? Does the escaped spirit really present such a serious threat to Tibidox? And if yes, then who asked Slander to take it to the class at all? What, he could not find another jug?

The doors of Sardanapal’s office were thrown open, and, whistling the fashionable little motif Seven Vampires and a White Lamb, Professor Stinktopp walked out from there. He was beaming with smugness. His yellow horseradish face bloomed like pink apple blossoms, creating an unthinkable natural paradox. Probably, the respected scholar Sigmund Stinktopp already saw himself in the armchair of the academician.

Passing by, Stinktopp stopped and encouragingly petted Bab-Yagun on the cheek.

“Oh, my dear little boy! I viz my entire soul congratulate you viz ze transfer to my vonderful department! You von’t be sorry! And you, Baby Grotter? Vhy are you not yet viz us? Dark magic has long cried for you! ”

Professor Sigmund Stinktopp bloomed with a smile and made his way to the stairs, singing: “Zree red sparks! Zree red sparks! Spirits loff zem! ”