An Illuminating Training Session and Half a Kilo of Romantic Appeal

Several days after the victory over the genies Sardanapal arrived at Tibidox on a luxurious Bokhara flying carpet. The academician Chernomorov was in a splendid mood. He was whistling some catchy little motif, in which early Vivaldi was mysteriously set to the national rhythms of the peoples of the north. The cyclops Dumpling-maker, having stretched himself out into a cord, dashingly saluted him.

After getting up into his office, the academician with surprise discovered Stinktopp at his table. The head of the black department was absent-mindedly shifting papers. Four long scratches stood out in beauty on his cheek — protest of the gold sphinx, objecting to the change of management.

Sardanapal gave a cough. Stinktopp raised his head, saw him, and turned yellow as a lemon.

“Ah, you’ff already returned... And how did the report go at the Magciety of Jerky Magtion? ” He squeezed it out with an effort.

“Oh, wonderfully, Sigmund, wonderfully! After the report they gave me a standing ovation. Somebody even beat time on his palms. And now please do me a favour: release my table to me.”

Professor Stinktopp began to blink and hurled himself to the doors. The doors did not have time to slam shut when along the labyrinths of Tibidox at once a victorious roar and a sorrowful howl resounded. The gold sphinx could not stand someone darting out suddenly.

Smiling, Sardanapal approached the cage and, invitingly clicking with a nail on the bars, began to feed the black magic books with pieces of meat.

“Starved, poor little devils? Come to papa! Well, how goes your re-education? ” He was interested.

Suddenly the sphinx began to purr. Medusa slipped into the office. Docent Gorgonova was the only one the wilful sphinx loved not less than its owner.

“I recently saw Stinktopp. He ran into magic station, but politely lingered in order to have a talk with me. It’s true that they applauded you? ” She asked in disbelief.

Sardanapal nodded.

“Yes, Medi. They applauded. True, before this they kept me in suspense for more than a week. I understood that they were simply leading me by the nose in order to take Tibidox away, and decorated my own speech with some rhetorical figures.”

“The spell of wooing the masses from the list of hundred forbidden ones? ” Medusa guessed in a whisper. The academician smiled.

“We’ll keep this between us, Medi. Hey, pity you didn’t see how they clapped! I was already flying away, but all the time they could not calm down and sent me great honorary titles one after another. I’m sure it’s necessary for everyone to lubricate their palms with badger grease... By the way, the chairman of Magciety kissed my tracks. The old man was unlucky: he was standing too close when I release a spark.”

“And it won’t come to light? ” Medusa asked anxiously.

“Definitely not. However, only for a hundred years. I strengthened the spell with two charms of secrecy: each for fifty years. By then it’ll hardly be a sensation anymore.”

“You’re sure? ”

“Absolutely! ” Sardanapal assured her, “any news has its period of limitation. Now, for example, did anyone ask the question why Napoleon always sneezed during Austerlitz? ”

Docent Gorgonova smiled.

“And I remember how everything was! The poor fellow was sneezing so around the map that he erroneously arranged his armies. Yes, it was glorious work! Pleasant to recall even now how we scoffed at unhappy moronoids, ” said Medusa and tenderly, not quite in a friendly way kissed Sardanapal on top.

“What about Koshchei there? He was chasing after you? ” The academician jealously asked. Medusa flinched with her shoulders.

“Slightly. But, imagine, at the match the immobilize ball fell on him. The magic turned out to be unexpectedly strong: nevertheless a dragon dose. He’s already sleeping for almost a week. Recently I sent him on your Bokhara carpet back to Magciety. There they’ll reverse the spell.”

The moustaches of Sardanapal straightened up slyly.

“On no account I’ll believe that the immobilize ball got to him by chance. On the stands there were so many spectators and one chief referee! Well, admit it, Medi, that it’s you! ” He showed his doubts.

“At least — give me a break! He was so disgusting! And then his armour shone so temptingly! I’m certain it was difficult to maintain the ball, ” somehow Medusa said in too much of a hurry and again kissed the academician on top.

* * *

Tanya looked at the clock in the Hall of Two Elements. First period today was protection from spirits. The subject was sufficiently disgusting, and even Slander himself was teaching it, but nevertheless Tanya was rather pleased. Protection from spirits was a combined white and dark department, and so, today she would again sit next to Bab-Yagun.

Something had happened in recent days with the resilient playing commentator. He had become withdrawn, nervous, and often disappeared somewhere. There was even a case when for no rhyme or reason he fought with Vanka Valyalkin. The cause for the fight was unimportant and even quite trivial: as a joke Vanka pulled Yagun’s hat to his eyes.

Yagun flared up and poked with his fist into his face and, after shouting: “Why don’t you put yourself in my shoes! ” and ran away. Must give Vanka credit, he kept in control and did not grapple with Yagun, but from this point on, he ceased to notice him.

It was particularly hard for Tanya: both her friends were in a voiceless quarrel. Moreover, when one appeared, the other demonstratively disappeared or completely ignored his presence. Reflecting on the behaviour of Yagun, Tanya guessed that most likely he was suffering because of the black department, in which he was forced to study.

Having taken their seats, the second-graders without any special impatience began to wait for Slander. The dean, despite his habit of being everywhere on time, was delayed somewhere. Tanya tried to make use of the fortunate moment and have a talk with Yagun, but that one first kept silent, and then abruptly got up and demonstratively moved over to Coffinia.

“Oh, Yagunchik! What a surprise! What, this orphan bores you? That’s right: she probably only cries on someone’s shoulder all day! No daddy, no mummy, and the uncle a total dreg! Only happiness, to fly around a little on the double bass! ” Cryptova was pleasantly astonished.

After the last match clearly showing everybody who was best in the team, Coffinia used any occasion to sting Tanya, “To drive her back into the cesspool, ” as Cryptova expressed it. Glomov, Zhikin, and other friends of Coffinia burst out laughing. But this was still nothing. Tolerable. The most terrible was that Yagun, who usually answered back when they insulted Tanya, now merely turned away and pretended that he heard nothing.

The treachery of Yagun — and how else could this be called? — so offended Tanya that she for the first time in many days did not know how to put Cryptova in her place.

Having made sure that her first onslaught did not meet with any rebuff, Coffinia became even more of a boor.

“Soon the match with the Invisibles! Gury Puper will show her what real class is. They’ll not let Grotter hold the ball! It’s true: nothing with dirty hands touches the balls! Then even the dragons shun them! ” She stated.

Getting mad, Tanya jumped up. She herself did not yet know what she would do: hurl at Coffinia a Pointus harpoonus or something not so magical but so heavy — for example, the thousand-page Theory of Evil Eye edited by Abraham the Tedious.

Theory of Evil Eye was a unique book. Abraham the Tedious felt sorry for the period and trembled over each paragraph, but then he threw commas around with maniacal generosity. For the most important places he even introduced a special sign — a period on top of a semicolon. Senior students adored to use Theory of Evil Eye in skirmishes between the white and black departments. As a projectile it had not known a miss.

However, the volume did not have time to whistle though the air when the door was suddenly thrown open, and into the classroom Slander Slanderych entered in a cheerful paralytic gait.

The class dazedly breathed out. Over the ceremonial robe the dean of Tibidox had on a light wire mesh with many intricate little knots.

“What’s this, armour? Really war has started? ” Not being able to control herself, Rita On-The-Sly asked.

Slander Slanderych frowned and stared straight at her. It seemed to poor Rita that she was nailed to the back of the chair by two icicles. She gasped for air.

“We’re joking? ” The dean quietly asked.

“No... I... only...” On-The-Sly uttered with horror, unsuccessfully trying not to look at Slander in the eyes.

“It’s no use! ” Slander was distressed. “What can be better than a joke, if, of course, it is approved by authorities! I hope, in the future you’ll master this well.”

Rita nodded in haste. She wanted to breathe. Did not want to feel icicles inside. She felt totally sorry that she was not born a deaf mute.

The dean smiled and removed his glance.

“If there are no objections, let us begin the lesson, ” he continued in a voice like sugar. “What Mademoiselle On-The-Sly so ingeniously called armour is the universal cloak from spirits. The only one that ensures reliable magic protection. Today each one of you must braid the same. Tomorrow all Tibidox will walk around in cloaks! During the day and in the evening. And will even take showers in the cloak if anyone still preserved this harmful moronoid habit.”

The children despondently exchanged glances. If even the little inclined to panic Slander began to talk about protective cloaks, the situation was actually so-so. Although all the instructors kept silent about it, it was clear that the released spirit not only was not caught, but with each hour it became increasingly stronger.

“I’ve already prepared the order and sent it to Sardanapal for his signature. I’m certain the academician realizes the need for such a step, ” continued Slander Slanderych.

“Sardanapal? He has already returned? ” Vanka was pleased.

The dean glanced at him disagreeably. Likely he was much less happy about the arrival of the academician.

“This morning. They say his report at the Magciety of Jerky Magtion went brilliantly. Today in Tibidox is a solemn dinner in his honour. The fine fellows from the chest have been ordered to prepare something special, ” he informed them.

The class joyfully made noise. This did not please Slander, and he immediately rushed to dampen enthusiasm.

“In your place I would not beam too much. Only those who succeed in braiding a magic cloak will go to the dinner. And it’s not easy. The knots alone are more than a hundred, and the majority demands to be tied correctly the first time.”

“And if not the first time? ” Kuzya Tuzikov timidly asked.

On Slander Slanderych’s tired face bloomed the sweetest smile.

“Nothing terrible, Tuzikov! All will remain alive. The walls of Tibidox also won’t collapse. But must braid a cloak anew, ” he informed him.

Vanka Valyalkin, always experiencing sharper hunger than others, sighed.

“All clear. Only Shurasik will go to the dinner, ” he said.

As if Valyalkin had looked into water. Everything turned out so. To be more exact, almost so. Even Shurasik did not make it to the solemn dinner in honour of the return of Sardanapal, he floundered on the ninety-ninth knot...

After homework Tanya and Vanka Valyalkin were sitting in the common room and were preparing for tomorrow’s evil spirits studies. Vanka squabbled with the textbook, demanding that it would carry out all tasks or at least not block Wiza cockwiza. Bab-Yagun was not with them. He had disappeared somewhere immediately after evening training. He simply jumped on the vacuum, stepped on the gas, and dashed off. It seemed to Tanya that he turned in the direction of the forest. Her first thought was to chase after him on the double bass, but Coffinia was staring at her with such malice that she reconsidered. It would only allow Coffinia to tatter to the entire Tibidox as if she was running after the grandson of Yagge like a lost puppy.

Unexpectedly the zoomer snapped into action. In the center of the tin bowl the sharp nose of the famous presenter began to glow invitingly.

“Kiss-kiss! With you is Nagiana Pripyatskaya. And now hold onto the back of your chairs, don’t fall down! You will be amazed, overwhelmed! Our zoomer group flew halfway around the world and almost collided with a moronoid aircraft in order to turn up as guests with... WITH THE TEAM OF THE INVISIBLES! Intrigued? But now something else still! Today you will be given the unique possibility to observe Gury Puper himself at training! Stunned? ”

Vanka wanted to state that he found nothing special in Puper, but here someone began triumphantly behind his back. Verka Parroteva, pale with enthusiasm, stared hard at the zoomer and yelled to the entire Tibidox:

“Everybody comes here! They’re showing Puper! ”

In a far corridor already loomed the chubby face of Dysia Dollova, behind whom a whole crowd flocked. The common room was swiftly filled.

The zoomer began to shake, bounced. The face of Nagiana disappeared, and on the screen appeared a stadium wet from the rain — a top view. The image zoomed in. A group of fans was seen on one of the benches. Hiding under umbrellas, the fans managed to hold onto a huge linen banner, on which were traced the words: “Gury Puper — here is someone super! ”

“Gury Puper rarely travels without a group of roadies! ” Nagiana reported. “More accurately, it’s the group of roadies always following Gury, since he’s too modest to approve of the noise made around his name. ‘I’m not guilty in that they consider me the greatest youth on Earth! ’ He usually tells journalists. ‘Trust me, at heart I’m a normal friendly fellow! Please leave me in peace! ’ Look, look! Now Gury appears from the locker room! I’ll try to participate in a fight with the correspondents rushing to him and be the first to get an interview with him! Hey, blockhead, a close-up! ”

On the zoomer screen it became evident that Nagiana swiftly began to swirl on the spot, releasing several red sparks and, muttering spells, rushed into the crowd of a good hundred of correspondents and photographers. And what was started here! The battle of water-sprites and wood-goblins, which Tanya chanced to observe, was simply the fuss of little-ones in a sandbox next to this struggle. Correspondents squealed, kicked, smashed each other’s jaws with microphones, and slashed with the cords like whips.

About seven magicians were already rolling on the grass and hurriedly recalling spells of fatal damage. The clothing on twenty-thirty correspondents was blazing, and one was already running away from the field in a hurry, covered by burdock broken off in haste. Then he, graciously waving the empty sleeves of what was left of his jacket, flew away to warmer territories. Sadly quivering the legs, his pants stared after him.

Gury Puper, a not tall dark-haired adolescent in the dragonball uniform of the Invisibles, stood, sadly leaning on his broom, and waited for everything to end.

After ten minutes of struggle only three of the most persistent correspondents remained on their feet. One of them was the indomitable Nagiana Pripyatskaya. She set loose a spotty rash on one enemy, brought another down from his feet with triple evil eye, and, swinging the microphone exactly like a club of popular war, broke through to Gury Puper. Seeing that it was not so simple to get away from this little lady, Gury gave up.

Nagiana bloomed with happiness and, sticking the microphone under his nose, started to rattle:

“The main anchor of Bold Mountain zoomer. Will you agree to answer a few questions? ”

“No! ”

“Enormous thanks, Gury! How did you get the idea of flying on a broom? ”

“Well... eh-eh...” Puper was lost. “Much earlier they flew on brooms, here I thought that, if now, when all the magicians move to the vacuum...”

“I thought so! ” Nagiana broke in. “Gury, you create miracles on the field. Isn’t it terrifying to you? It’s known to all that a dragon can grind a player with its jaws or there are cases when it smashes player to death against the barrier.”

“Yes, sometimes I begin to live in fear, ” acknowledged Puper. “Especially in moist weather or with high wind. Trust me, at heart I’m the most ord...”

Nagiana deftly moved the microphone aside.

“Yes, yes... friendly fellow. And tell us, Gury, indeed your team began to be called the team of the Invisibles quite recently. Earlier it has a totally different name. How did it come about? ”

“Our trainer was dissatisfied with the results. It was at his proposal the team acquired a batch of invisible-raincoats. We don’t use them constantly, but only in the most critical minutes of a match. For example, when we break through to a hostile dragon or at change over.”

“And it’s not forbidden? Indeed the opponent can’t see you? ” Nagiana asked.

“Each team has its strong and weak points. But then we don’t come running to evil eyes or talismans. And even our dragon, on the whole, is the most ordinary, everyone knows this, ” explained Puper.

Nagiana removed the microphone.

“Excellent, Gury! Your arguments sound completely convincing. Now it’s already known to all that in the final will be the teams of Tibidox and the Invisibles. Even the date of the match has been assigned — in a week. What do you think, does the team of Tibidox have any chances? ”

Puper faltered.

“Your team is a good team. Of course it’s not worthwhile to underestimate the enemy. We’ll play at our full capacity. But, certainly we have a little more experience, so that Tibidox would have to play defensively.”

“It means our team doesn’t have any chances? Many experts also think so, ” Nagiana interrupted him.

Unexpectedly her small face acquired a malicious expression.

“And finally, a question in no way connected with the sport. Say, Gury, you have a girl? ” She asked in the sweetest voice.

Gury turned red, dropped the broom and spent a suspiciously long time picking it up. Madame Pripyatskaya unnoticeably winked at the screen of the zoomer. Then she deftly wound the cord of the microphone around Puper and, exactly like a tendril, deftly pulled him into the frame.

“Fine, Gury, I won’t insist on an answer. Finally, this is personal... And tell us, purely hypothetically, it goes without saying, is it possible for you to fall in love with any girl from the team of Tibidox? In our team there are many beauties — for example, Coffinia Cryptova or Katya Lotkova.”

Gury Puper was weary, not knowing how to get himself out of this. Help arrived just in time from the most unexpected direction. A wind gust suddenly came up. The enormous banner in the hands of the group of roadies swelled up like a sail. Pitifully moving their feet, the fans were hanging above the field at a high altitude.

“They’ll be smashed into a flat cake! What an outstanding shot! ”The correspondents coming to began to wail and, dragging operators after themselves, with the hope for sensation they began to run along the field. Even the pantless correspondent participated in the bustling scurry, having managed to braid for himself a kind of short grass skirt like that of a savage.

The fans of Puper whined sadly, patiently waiting for the moment when the wind would drop and they could smash into smithereens.

But here Gury, the only one who was not at a loss, jumped onto his broom, muttered a spell, and dashed to rescue his fans. Dozens of zoomers followed his broom furiously tearing along. Gripping the banner by the edge, Puper turned around spectacularly, with a whistle cut the air with a bunch of spelled branches and towed the fans away to their customary perch.

“This Gury is simply a darling! ” Verka Parroteva sighed, not tearing herself away from the screen of the zoomer.

“‘Gury Puper — here is someone super! ’ Not handsome, but he has something! A real man! ” Dysia Dollova added.

“Everyone keeps her grabby hands from my Puper! I warned. You can consider that from this hour and even from this minute he has a girl! ” Coffinia categorically stated.

“Yes, Coffinia, Puper sounds pathetic, ” Shurasik barged in unsuccessful and immediately received a kick from Glomov.

The jealous elephant was already ready now to tear Gury Puper into five smaller Pupers.

“Puper is mine! Together with his broom and raincoat! So get away from here fast: I won’t even allow anyone to look at him! ” Cryptova repeated covetously.

Katya Lotkova smiled significantly; however, she did not begin to argue. Privately Katya already decided that while she was in the field, Coffinia did not have the slightest chance of attracting Gury.

“No, you saw these fools from the alley? The entire match they intend to twirl their tails before Puper, and who will play? ” Vanka Valyalkin indignantly whispered to Tanya.

Tanya absent-mindedly nodded. Certainly Vanka was right. If one plays, then at one’s full potential and not make eyes at the Invisibles. At the same time she not without melancholy thought that here Puper would definitely not fall in love with her. Too many beauties would come across his path, not leaving her, outwardly completely ordinary, any chances.

“Well, and let him fall in love in whom he wants. For instant Cryptova, Lotkova, or Dollova, if he absolutely can’t help it. And I’ll try to fly faster and knock the arrogance out of him. We’ll see who doesn’t have experience, ” she decided recklessly.

Unexpectedly, against her will, Tanya recalled the prophecy on the red-hot door of the stove. A vague anxiety enveloped her — even not anxiety but an unpleasant, almost painful presentiment of something inevitable... What a pity that the last stanzas of the prophecy were indiscernible and it was not possible to foretell anything.

Here she remembered Hugo the Sly. Interesting, did he succeed in deciphering the wiped out words? Tanya slipped unnoticeably from the common room, where heated debates seethed about who would catch Puper (now Verka Parroteva also laid claim to him already, fighting to the bitter end with Coffinia), and ran to magic station.

“Yagge! Yagge! ” She shouted.

No one answered her. Tanya decided that Yagge had set off to Sardanapal in order to ask the academician again about her grandson. The girl carefully looked into the adjacent room, in which the old lady lived, and stopped at the threshold.

Yagge’s trunk was overturned. Its entire contents were unceremoniously dumped on the floor. Tricks of White Magicians was lying in the middle of the room. The last page, on which Hugo wrote down the prophecy, was ripped into shreds. It was possible to make out with difficulty a few of the surviving words of the beginning of the prophecy already known to her.

“Oh, oh, oh! ” Someone groaned.

Tanya shuddered. A quivering white spectre floated out from the wall above the box with medicinal ointments.

It was Unhealed Lady.

“Hugo disappeared! Someone broke in here half an hour ago and tore up his book, and took away the portrait together with Hugo himself! ” She sobbed.

“Who was it? Who? ” Tanya asked. Lady began to shake her head and forced out an entire waterfall of tears. In comparison the grating crocodile tears of literature would simply seem like a half-dead mushroom shower.

“I myself didn’t understand. Everything happened so quickly. And then... the most disgusting, the kidnapper was invisible! ”

“Invisible? ” Tanya did not believe her.

“Absolutely, ” Lady said dryly and, having effortlessly ended her hysterics, energetically squeezed the thoroughly wet handkerchief.

Already intending to leave, Tanya saw on the carpet the torn binding of the book, on which the letters were jumping with indignation: Tricks of White Magicians narrated by Hugo the Impudently Stolen!!!

* * *

The night, soon descending on Buyan, stood out as being restless. The spirit of unpleasant chances felt at home in its new kingdom. In the empty corridors of Tibidox drafts were singing softly. Torches went out by themselves, and ghosts behaved as if they were also not quite there. Everyone was immersed in dreams. Only the cyclopes, posted on the stairs, were taking everything in and hopelessly cramming frequently changing passwords from the life of a mermaid. In the passages twinkled the guard spells cast by Slander and Dentistikha.

The next morning all of Tibidox appeared at breakfast already in magic cloaks. The cloaks looked terribly absurd, clanked, and were caught on all possible objects while walking. Moreover, yet one of their extremely unpleasant properties was soon revealed. It only took one of the hundred protective knots to be untied and the cloak would assume this to be the treacherous attack of an insidious spirit and let out an intolerable howl. But then now it became much easier to interrupt a class — you pull a knot and it would be ready. True, and here it was necessary to know when to stop.

After a thrown-off-all-restraint Gunya Glomov consecutively disrupted evil spirits studies, protection from evil eye, and veterinary magic, a furious Slander dragged him somewhere by the ear. While everybody argued whether Glomov would be turned into a zombie or everything would turn out, Gunya again appeared in class, but already chained in deaf armour even with the visor pulled over the face. He waddled, rumbling with each step. Even forced through the door only on the third attempt.

“They pegged me alive! Walled me up in the magic armour! Now even have to sleep standing! ” Glomov panted unhappily.

However, the drastic act of Slander had a positive effect. Knots somehow immediately stopped being untied, and the cloaks stopped howling. Gunya was consoled by the fact that he could crack nuts with the iron gloves and smacked everyone he wanted on the forehead with his finger. It turned out in equal measures painful and instructive for him.

At evening training Nightingale O. Robber discussed with the players the tactics of the Invisibles.

“Now remember this! The brooms allow them to move very fast — simply at jet speed. Moreover wrapped in the raincoats, they become invisible. This complicates our fight for the ball. How can you intercept a ball from someone the eyes don’t notice? True, if we can grasp this, there will be numerous favourable moments for us, ” here Nightingale slyly squinted with his only eye.

“Why favourable, Nightingale Odikhmantevich? ” Kuzya Tuzikov asked.

He was the only one in the team who addressed the trainer by the first name and patronymic. “Good at least he doesn’t add Robber to it! ” Yagun sometimes snorted.

“Think, Tuzikov, think! Everybody thinks! Wrapped in their raincoats, the Invisibles disappear not only for us. They also can’t see each other. This complicates passes and forces them to use standard combinations of tactics. To say it simpler, the Invisibles have to throw a ball blindly into a specific part of the field, knowing that some of their own must turn out to be there. If you can destroy their construction — it’s already half the success. Use unexpected movements, try so that your behaviour in the field cannot be foreseen. Then they’ll immediately forget about their raincoats.”

“This we can do. We’ll tangle them up so that they’ll starve! ” A smile spread on Rita On-The-Sly.

“With passes it’s understood. Here it’s possible to change them. But what is to be done with single breakaways? They can break through to the dragon alone, after hiding a ball under the raincoat, ” said Tanya.

Nightingale approvingly avoided giving a direct answer.

“I was waiting for someone to ask this. The Invisibles also count on this if tactical formations fail. They have outstanding forwards, among them the best is undoubtedly Gury Puper. They say that he can even unnoticeably crawl into a dragon’s nostril. I hope that the group protecting Goyaryn will work cooperatively. Don’t let it open its mouth too often! Don’t fly far away from its head! Let it move more and shoot short jets at random.”

Nightingale impressively lifted a shaggy eyebrow, stopped talking, and added already much softer:

“My heart prompts me that the match is expected to be difficult. You have never had the like. Be ready for everything.”

Later Tanya many times recalled these words.

Suppose Nightingale knew everything beforehand? Though where could he know it from? Indeed she even told no one about the theft of Hugo the Sly.

* * *

Tanya entered the room and stopped dead on the threshold. Black Curtains, solidly tied into a knot, was shaking indignantly, grunting, but could not free themselves without help. The skeleton Page with a hat moved to its eyes, preventing it from spying, sat on a corner of the old trunk and resentfully clicked its teeth.

“Page, don’t get on my nerves! I’m a sick old woman! I’ll drive you into the closet! ” Without turning around, Coffinia shouted to it.

The “sick old woman” was lying on her stomach on her annoying bed in the shape of an inverted coffin and, placing under her chin the heart-shaped pillow, was reading something with interest. At first Tanya was certain these were comics or magazines of extreme fashion, but, having stared at it, understood that it was a thick book bound in leather. From the pages of the book were smoked bats and jimsonweed in an improbable combination with forget-me-nots.

On the back appeared in large letters:

HOW TO BECOME IRRESISTABLE. 500 POTIONS And CHARMS FROM CLEOPATRA OF EGYPT.

Judging by the antiqueness of the book, it was located in the locked reserves. For sure Coffinia had to wheedle it from the library genie.

“What, problem with personal charm? Your own strength already no up to it? ” Tanya mockingly asked.

“Drop dead, orphan! ” Coffinia snapped. She was busy. Right now she did not want to fight.

“And are these recipes approved by the ministry of sensible courtship? What about side effects there? Won’t grow moustaches? Donkey ears? ” Tanya specified.

“They didn’t grow on Cleopatra, ” Coffinia muttered.

“And you saw her ears? ” Tanya asked. “And if you didn’t, go ask Yagge. They say she and Cleopatra were friends in youth. They were friends for long enough until they had a falling out because of one bright moronoid. They killed him quite quickly. Anthony, it seems, he was called. So there, Yagge confirms that Cleopatra’s charms capitally caused her some unpleasant consequences.”

Cryptova angrily flung a pillow at Tanya and again was buried in the book.

“Merci for the advice, Grotter! I’m not such a fool to swallow any kind of filth. Better I work out how to bind Gury with it, ” she stated.

“Unlucky Puper! She’ll destroy him with her potions. At least test it out on Glomov first, perhaps, ” thought Tanya, climbing under the blanket.

* * *

She had long since been sleeping as Coffinia was also sleeping full of deadly plans, dreaming in a rascally sweet way about her 500 potions, when suddenly the candle forgotten on the table flared up and then went out. The timid skeleton began to shake from fright. Black Curtains reflected something quite improbable and subsided.

Something invisible and intangible thrown itself first to Coffinia and then to Tanya, but, in both cases after stumbling upon the magic cloaks, was forced to step back. The spirit roared with powerless spite. Leaving the room, it touched Black Curtains. They swelled up and for a moment highlighted a single word:

“SOON! ”

In the same night Tanya had a nightmare, exceeding in horror the whole series of Vera Pavlovna’s prophetic dreams. Tanya dreamt that as if towards her along the dark corridor not walking but floating were Gury Puper, Givi Poffer, Maria Brotter, Alphonse Dotter, and even some energetic girl Olga Brodder with hair cut short like a boy. And each of them was shouting: “You’re not real! You don’t exist! You’re a pitiful copy! We’re real! ” Behind them in the dark, controlling them exactly like marionettes, a figure cloaked in a raincoat was following watchfully.

Tanya awoke in the middle of the night in a cold sweat. Lowering her legs, she sat on the bed and for a long time peered into the darkness. There was such gloom in the room that the girl pondered with fear for a while whether she had become blind. Finally she brought a hand to her eyes and, making out a vague white spot of her palm, calmed down.