The Scroll of Predictions

The gold sphinx confidently led Tanya along the passageways of Tibidox. Several times spectres, who wanted to take a look at the newbie, emerged to meet them, and once from a dark niche in the wall, issuing wearisome sighs, flowed out something dark and vague, more like a dense fog with two circular, closely spaced openings resembling eyes. Assuming the form of a monstrous hand, the fog quickly flowed to Tanya, but it only needed to notice Academician Sardanapal’s sphinx, the gold fangs lazily sneering, then it, with an anxious gurgle, hurriedly pulled itself into its barred hole.

Tanya could not cease to be surprised at how narrow passages combined with wide corridors and immense halls in the architecture of Tibidox. But they harmonized. Unexpectedly a sequence of little corridors led them out to a set of enormous stairs, built on — or more precisely, knocked out of — an entire cliff. Each of its steps was more than waist height and of such width that a sofa would easily fit on it. Along the stairs stretched stone figures of Atlas, supporting massive arches on their shoulders.

“Sheer show-off! Would be better if they made the steps lower instead of erecting these uncles! ” Tanya muttered, trying to keep pace with the sphinx.

Hearing her, one of the Atlases clicked its stone teeth, and Tanya decided to restrain from further criticism. “They’ll even drop the ceiling onto my head — it’ll happen with them, ” she decided.

The stairs led into a huge hall. However, Tanya, already accustomed to the splendour of Tibidox, was not too surprised by it. Another thing was startling — along the centre of the hall, dividing it into two equal parts, ran a bluish stream of fire.

The part of the hall to the left was bright, as if flooded by invisible sunlight. Dropping diamond sparks from their tails onto the flagstones and flapping their wings, firebirds swiftly flew over, behind which in playful pursuit were little robust cupids, dressed in red suspenders by the efforts of Sardanapal. A blindingly white unicorn was angrily kicking, trying with a finely moulded diamond hoof to hit the big-eared humpbacked horse, which was teasing him. In any case, when the horse, in a linen horsecloth clearly altered from an old magic tablecloth, deftly jumped away from the unicorn, plates, pies with cranberries, and smoked hams fell like rain from its horsecloth.

But such bright, though also wild, merriment was only from one side. To the right, where the hall was divided by the line on which the stream of fire ran, there was impenetrable night. In the high arches of the hall bats flashed by, on the floor snakes were hissing, while in a distant corner where it smelled of grey and mould, some dark silhouette gloomily towered. The gold sphinx decisively made its way along the fiery line, keeping to the bright side and contemptuously snorting to the snakes hissing at it.

Tanya hurriedly rushed right after, fearing to lag behind the sphinx. The little cupids were merrily fluttering around. The Humpbacked Horse on his short legs shaggy like a pony’s playfully skipped beside her, pouring from the magic tablecloth danishes and crepes with red caviar. Now and then the tablecloth fell, and then saucepans began to pour from it. The nervous unicorn quivered its ears from this crash and again started to kick.

When the hall was behind her, Tanya for some reason turned around and looked there, to the dark side. It seemed to her that someone was continuously following her from that far corner...

Right by the fiery line began yet another set of stairs, going upward in a spiral, this time already normal and not colossal size. The higher they climbed, the voices reaching from above became more distinct. Tanya surmised that they were approaching student quarters and that now she would see the children with whom she expected to be studying all the following years.

Her heart was pounding uneasily, and she, barely slowing down her steps, began to listen.

“You saw: someone bewitched my boots. In what will I go to practical magic? Today is the most interesting theme: Preparation of elixir of courage from stinkbugs! ” Some boy complained in a whine.

“Probably someone thrust papers with spells into the inner soles there, you take them out, and it’s done, ” someone advised him, seemed to be a girl.

“I know that there are papers, but I can’t take them out! The boots bolt, and when I catch up with them— they kick! It’ll be a nightmare if I miss class! My average annual mark will then be 4.9 instead of 5.0! ”

A door slammed. Someone looked into the corridor.

“You already got everything with your Stinktopp, Shurasik! My average mark for the past quarter is 2.9, but I’m not passing out because of it. Or do you want your name embroidered with gold threads on the trousers of honour? ” A resonant boyish voice said mockingly.

“VALYALKIN! It’s you who BEWITCHED them! Return the boots, or I’ll turn the curse on you! ” With suspicion passing into certainty, the complaining one yelled.

Deciding that there was no more sense in hiding, Tanya got up onto the landing.

She saw a large round living room to where a set of bedroom doors opened out. In the living room were no less than about twenty children, all approximately her age, who, noticing the gold sphinx of Academician Sardanapal, stared at it first, and then also at the one it brought.

Near the bedroom closest to the stairs, a lanky teenager was jumping in barefoot, the learned kind — probably, Shurasik — and, letting out a spark from the ring, was seriously intending on directing a curse at a small slender young fellow of about ten, dressed in an absurdly long yellow soccer shirt reaching down to his knees. In the air near the young fellow, obviously attached to him with reminders, a toothbrush was flying.

“ Spoilus pimplus greenus! ” Shurasik yelled at the moment when Tanya appeared on the landing.

After waving the hand on which he had his magic ring, Shurasik threw a green spark at the slender young fellow, and the spark swiftly dashed to his face. But in the instant before it touched him, he deftly shrunk back and instead of his face was substituted a mirror, which till then he had hidden behind his back and now moved up so that the face of Shurasik himself was reflected in it. When the spark struck his reflection, Shurasik suddenly squealed and covered his face with a sweater. But Tanya had time to notice that his face was covered with a huge pimple almost the size of a five-kopeck coin, moreover, not a plain one but even smeared with brilliant green.

Shurasik darted into the bedroom. His bewitched boots, after lingering, flew on his tracks in order to continue to tease him even there. Everyone burst out laughing.

“The curse for sure will last a week. Good that I caught it on the glass, ” the young fellow in the soccer shirt said thoughtfully and, merrily looking at Tanya, presented himself: “Vanka Valyalkin. You know what I got here for? I ate the entire store.”

“And the guards’ batons, ” added Tanya. The young fellow stopped smiling

“Sardanapal told you? But he didn’t say why I ate them? That they were trying to beat me with these batons? On the whole, good that after this incident they immediately took me away to Tibidox, otherwise the moronoids would really send me to the correctional school...”

“Then we would indeed have met there! If Uncle Herman would have kept his promise, ” said Tanya.

The eyes of the young fellow stopped at her birthmark. For the first time they looked at her without loathing, without the desire to insult, but, on the contrary, with understanding.

“But you’re not... not Tanya Grotter? ” He suddenly blurted out.

The girl was slightly embarrassed. She was still not used to the surprise, which her name evoked in magicians.

“Yes, I am, ” she nodded and for some reason added: “In person.”

Vanka Valyalkin very quietly gave a whistle, restraining from more “oh! ” and for this Tanya was grateful. Then the others, beginning to be surprised, in no way could stop.

“The same! Tanya Grotter herself. The only one who saw She-Who-Is-No-More, ” emerging from somewhere, Dusya PDollova whispered, a round-faced girl of eleven, who accidentally transformed her girlfriend into gingerbread.

“Her parents perished! But she crushed the scorpion of She-Who-Is-No-More! Stunning! This nightmarish birthmark is in reality the burn of a magic spark — trace of that night! ” Verka Parrotova began to sigh, a super-curious person of thirteen, whose nose preserved the clear imprint of a door. This took place still in the human world when she spied on her older sister kissing a boy. Precisely then emerged in Verka the ability to see through objects.

Tanya smiled uncomfortably. Indeed she herself remembered not a single thing from what they were telling her now. The whole crowd gradually surrounded her. Each strove to touch her or at least to wave to her from a distance. She had never felt so popular before. Earlier in the world of the moronoids she was absolutely not needed by anyone.

And here when she was already ready to disappear through the ground from her popularity and dreamed only about becoming invisible, everybody around heard a displeased growl. The sphinx of the academician growled, decisively forced its way through the crowd, and made a path for her to one of the bedrooms.

“Well, bye! Rest! We’ll meet again! ” Vanka Valyalkin snapped his fingers, beckoning to the toothbrush.

“Ooh-oh-eh-ah-uh! She’s now with us! ” Dusya Dollova and Verka Parrotova said like a choir.

Tanya had hardly entered when the sphinx, starting to spin like a top, became a gold dust and swiftly sped away. The door closed behind Tanya’s back with a faint plop. Looking around, the girl understood that she was in a small room divided in the middle by a line — the same as in the Hall of Two Elements, with the only difference that this line was not fiery. Black Curtains, lazily moving with her nearness, hung long on the window going out into the garden. The bed to the right of the window was wooden, covered by a red downy blanket, but, on the whole, sufficiently normal. Then the bed on the opposite side... Tanya even cringed from astonishment... Yes, exactly, this was not a bed but a very solid coffin, placed with the bottom up, with figured wooden legs nailed to it. The mattress on this “bed” was enormous, satin, in the shape of a heart. On the mattress with legs crossed lay a beautiful girl of about twelve with violet hair and she was following with her gaze the brush, which, flying, was painting her nails in a poisonous-green colour.

Tanya surmised that this was her roommate — the girl studying black magic in the “dark” department of Tibidox, about whom Academician Sardanapal spoke with this sigh. And a second later Tanya understood that the girl, lowering her eyes, was attentively examining her. Moreover she had already been examining for a long time.

“Hello! ” Tanya said.

“So long! ” The girl said with a deep voice, something similar to the voice of Aunt Ninel. She sat up with a jerk and, lowering her legs from the bed, was already staring openly at Tanya.

Her eyes were of different sizes and colours. The right one narrow, sly, a slanting Mongolian slit, clearly disposed to evil eye, and the left large, dark-blue, with long, naively fluttering eyelashes. Depending on which side to look from, the girl could be taken for either an obvious old fox or a fool-simpleton.

“You’re Coffinia Cryptova, ” said Tanya.

“I know what my name is without you. But you’re Grotter. Tanka Grotter — the stupid orphan who defeated She-Who-Is-No-More. Can this be the absurd birthmark she still has on the nose? You want to say that you’ll be living here? ”

“Yes, I will be. And don’t think that I’ll start to ask for your permission, ” Tanya announced, deciding that one ought not to stand on ceremony with this girl.

“Well-well, live.” Coffinia contemptuously nodded to the other bed. “Only have in mind that you’re not the first. All three roommates who lodged here flew out like corks. Two of them stutter till now, and the other one though not stuttering, always shakes her head. We, black magicians, don’t love the white...”

“Okay, lie in your coffin, wheeze in the two holes, and don’t come out! ” Tanya dismissed her, thinking that fate slipped to her another Pipa. But no matter how it was, here she had her own bed, a table, a wardrobe, and an entire half of a room. At Uncle Herman’s she had to be satisfied with the balcony.

“Yes, she’s still rude to me! Keep in mind, you’ll fall asleep, then I’ll set this on you! Hey, Page! ” Coffinia poked with a finger into a corner of the room. There on a stand was a very excellent skeleton in a large hat, with a dark raincoat thrown over its shoulders. Two lipsticks jutted out from its eye sockets, and it held a compact in its teeth. Likely, Coffinia, endowed with a unique sense of humour, used it as a hanger for her finery.

Tanya approached her bed and, quickly undressing, slid under the blanket.

“Don’t wake me, don’t put me in storage, and handle me with care! ” She yawned and, at once discarding from her head Coffinia, Black Curtains, stupid skeleton in a hat, and spectres languishing at loose end and with knives sticking out the back, plunged into sleep.

Coffinia looked searchingly at her for a long time, and then, hesitating, informed the skeleton:

“You know, Page, likely they did not dare tell this fool the prophecy. That’s worse for her.”

* * *

Plainly Tanya did not succeed in sleeping her fill. Soon a terrible ringing issuing from the large clock hanging on the wall woke her. The clock was sufficiently strange, without numbers and only with one hand, but then small pictures were placed in the circle of the dial. On one was depicted a pile of jumping textbooks, on another a bed, on the third a spoon, on the fourth a small vacuum, on the fifth, which the hand was pointing at now, a thin stream of malodorous smoke snaking out of a large cauldron. This cauldron was also precisely jingling now, and the yellow, unpleasantly reeking smoke, flowing into the room and tickling Tanya’s nose, formed into letters crawling away: The student Grotter! Immediately shake the lazy spell off yourself and step to practical magic! Prof. Stinktopp.

Finally awake, Tanya leaped up. Under the bed she discovered the case with the double bass — it seems Bab-Yagun contrived to be here while she was sleeping. Having quickly dressed, Tanya jumped out into the corridor. The smoke from the clock, changing into a forefinger, guided her along the corridors of Tibidox. Having climbed up under the very roof of a high tower narrow as a pencil, Tanya found herself in a low hall, on all the walls of which, beginning from the ceiling, were hung bunches of grasses, snake tails, and dry eagle feet. The students, among whom Tanya recognized Bab-Yagun nodding hello to her, the frankly bored Vanka Valyalkin, fat-cheeked Dusya Dollova, and Shurasik surrounded by a mountain of books and notebooks, scribbling with a goose feather at the speed of a rushing electric train, were sitting on low desks covered with soot, arranged around the small area. In the centre of this area, at a decent distance from the floor, in a rope hammock of heaps of knots, sat a diminutive, wrinkled old man. His bald head with a single strand of yellowish hair was like an overgrown horseradish. The face seemed to consist of wrinkles alone. He was dressed in violet tricot, over which was a badly put on tattered woollen waistcoat.

“Ah, here’s also Tanya Grotter! Outstanding beginning: first day in Tibidox and already late! ” He said with an obvious accent, acidly smiling with empty gums with a unique curved tooth jutting out on top. “I’m Professor Stinktopp! Ve’re on ze important zeme: Preparations of elixir of courage from stinkbugs. Before continuing, I’ll varn zat because of you I’ll detain ze class for exactly one minute after ze lesson! ”

Professor Stinktopp jabbed with a finger at the clock dial, which, like his face, was similar to a horseradish.

“Don’t pay any attention! He’s crazy about punctuality, ” Bab-Yagun whispered encouragingly.

However, though his whisper was quite soft, Professor Stinktopp mysteriously heard it.

“Anozer five penalty minutes to ze entire class! And triple homevork! Zis time zanks to Bab-Yagun talking, ” He squeaked and, swinging in the hammock, continued the dictation: “... viz a silfer mixer. Stop. Capital letter. In ze case zat no stinkbugs are nearby, for ze preparation of ze elixir dry dung-beetles are also suitable. Stop. Capital letter.”

“And it’s called practical magic... I cannot stand to write, ” sighed Vanka Valyalkin, moving and giving Tanya room on the bench next to him.

It seemed that of the entire class only Shurasik was contented, smartly using up a third sheet already. Glancing carefully at his feet, Tanya observed that he was barefooted in overshoes. “So, the boots still get violent, ” she surmised with a smile.

Time for practice was only at the end of the lesson. Professor Stinktopp released from his ring an entire pile of red sparks — from which Tanya concluded that before her was a magician from the “dark, ” — and all the desks, lowering short curved legs, began to crawl together to the centre of the hall. Before each appeared a small copper pot that had turned green and with slippery slimy edges. Tanya wanted terribly to wash and clean it to lustre, but Bab-Yagun whispered that magic cauldrons are never to be washed and cleaned under any circumstances.

Seeing as the others were doing it, Tanya started to prepare the elixir. She did not want mud on her face, especially as Professor Stinktopp from the very beginning for some reason started to pick on her. Shurasik was more zealous than everyone in the preparation of the elixir of courage, slowly stirring the cauldron first with a spoon, then with an overshoe, and simultaneously contriving not to allow the beetles to crawl. Outwardly simple, the recipe for the preparation of elixir had one intricacy — it was necessary to take a long time to warm up the water in the cauldron, at the same time without allowing it to boil, and this with the fact that magic cauldrons heated up almost instantly. The mixture first boiled in Vanka Valyalkin’s, then in Verka Parrotova’s, and in the end Bab-Yagun’s beetle flew into Dusya Dollova’s ear, and she raised a terrible screech, overturning her own cauldron.

“I cannot stand all these potions. Not without reason they always write on all the magic infusions: side effects — the growth of fur on the forehead and the nose, ” grumbled Vanka, who was trying to set his beetle so that it would crawl behind Shurasik’s collar.

Professor Stinktopp strolled inside the circle and indulgently tried the elixirs. For this he even had a special bronze spoon on a long chain hanging on his belt. Having taken a sip from half a spoonful of each of the cauldrons, Professor Stinktopp remained extremely dissatisfied.

“Neffer in Tibidox vas collected such dolts! Two monz of lessons — and no result! And you call zis elixir of courage? Efen Shurasik’s, zis dear boy...” here Stinktopp’s voice grew warm to a hundredth of a degree, “instead of an elixir it turned out to be a harmful decoction for growing calluses! ”

“You haven’t yet tried Tanya’s! ” Verka Parrotova clicked her tongue.

Professor Stinktopp leniently made a face.

“Vell-a, vell-a... I’m sure nozing has turned out viz our newbie, since she mixed viz ze spoon clockvise, but I dictated: must stir counter-clockvise. And zen, vhat foot from ze stinkbug did she bring? Certain zat it’s ze front, but one is neffer to use zem! ” He said mockingly, scooping elixir from her cauldron. Tanya wanted to object that she did everything correctly, but Stinktopp, not listening, already sent the contents of the spoon into his mouth. According to the expression on his face it was obvious that he was prepared to utter something extremely sarcastic, but here dense vapour unexpectedly belched from his ears, his face reddened, and, jumping up and down on the spot, he began to roar:

“Vhy are you all settled here, dawdlers!! Driff ze mammoz here! A hundred mammoz, two hundred! And also dragons here! I’ll zrash zem viz my bare hands! And not only dragons! I’ll give two black eyes to all ze titans! ”

Stinktopp brandished his thin hands and dashed away somewhere, clearly to investigate the titans.

The whole class stared at Tanya in amazement.

“Likely he swallowed too much. Well, the titans will beat him up! ” Bab-Yagun giggled.

“Listen, how come yours turned out? Why did the cauldron not boil? ” Vanka Valyalkin was wonderstruck.

Tanya smiled shyly.

“Nothing... I followed the recipe, that’s all, ” she growled. “Now to brew Aunt Ninels diet tea is actually a task. Twenty-three seconds to steam at a temperature of seventy-three degrees, simultaneously stirring slowly with a thermometer... Stop a second — Aunt Ninel goes into hysterics. I’d like to see how Professor Stinktopp would manage with that...”

After practical magic the hand of the clock, same as in the room with Black Curtains, pointed first to a spoon, and then to a huge, constantly winking eye.

“They’re saying that it’s dinner now, and later we must go to removal of evil eye, ” Vanka Valyalkin hesitated.

“And who’s teaching it? Professor Stinktopp again? ” Tanya asked.

“Ne-a, not Stinktopp. Now it’ll be Dentistikha... She’s both ours and with the ‘dark.’ So it’s a joint pair. Only she teaches how to cast an evil eye to the ‘dark’ but how to remove to us.”

If practical magic was conducted in the tower, then for the removal of evil eye it was necessary to go down to the basement along the long stairs with smoky steps illuminated by magic torches. The vibration of the walls here felt much stronger than in the rest of Tibidox. If an ear was cocked, then it was possible to make out even the hoarse breath of the titans. Furthermore, several times it seemed to Tanya that in the dark corners where the light of the torches did not reach, concealed hairy essences quickly gleamed for a moment.

Vanka Valyalkin and Bab-Yagun walked beside Tanya. Several times she already noticed that Valyalkin and Bab-Yagun inconspicuously pushed each other with their shoulders, competing to walk closer to her. It did not please Verka Parrotova and Dusya Dollova that the newbie was enjoying such success and they snorted, turning aside their noses.

“And how do the evil spirits worm themselves in here? ” Vanka Valyalkin reasoned. “Preventive spells everywhere here. Slander put them on each crack, not even to mention the corridors.”

“Evil spirits will always find a way. Or will open a new one. They soundly consider where to open what and how to climb through. Well, and not a week that they avoid the cave of Tibidox, ” Bab-Yagun said.

Tanya recalled how the evil spirits swarmed the house of Uncle Herman and climbed along the pipes, and agreed with Bab-Yagun. Now only why are the evil spirits here? What do they want?

The room for removal of evil eye was crowded and tight. Besides thirty freshmen of the “white” department, here were even thirty freshmen of the “dark.”

“And Grotter also dragged herself here! Do you see this girl? ” Coffinia said loudly, turning to her neighbour, a gloomy fellow with a low forehead, resembling a gorilla.

The “dark” stared darkly at Tanya.

“Gunya, bet you can’t touch her birth mark? Perhaps it’s pasted on her? ” Coffinia continued to egg him on.

The low forehead moved heavily forward, towering above the tallest of the “dark” by two heads.

“Who can’t? Good. I’ll touch...” he said through his nose, smiling and stretching a thick finger in motion. His teeth were not clean, with a nasty yellowish-green tint. At the same time two fangs stuck out forward considerably. Vanka Valyalkin and Bab-Yagun advanced forward together, up between the thug and Tanya.

“Get acquainted, this is Gunya Glomov — our Tibidox wonder. He’s fourteen. He already sat in the first class for three years, and the only thing he learnt, — to change himself into a stool! ” Bab-Yagun pronounced provocatively.

“You want trouble, Yagun? Know it all! You’re already in trouble, ” Gunya Glomov said and began to swing heavily. But here for no rhyme or reason Shurasik jumped forward.

“And I also know how to fight! ” He began to squeak. “Yesterday I read Self-teach Manual of Young Fighter and I even know how to correctly make a fist! So: I’ll take off my glasses, and we’ll negotiate the rules. No hitting the face, no kicking one lying down, no cursing with bad words, with the words ‘Time out’ the fight sto...”

Not listening to the rules, Gunya smirked and hit Shurasik in the ear. Shurasik rolled head over heels on the floor. Vanka Valyalkin and Bab-Yagun jumped on Gunya, and all three were rolling on the floor.

“Fight! ” Someone from the “dark” began to yell and everybody rushed forward.

Soon the fight was already universal. The “white” and the “dark” acted well-organized. It seemed to Tanya that it was not the first time they fought so. Even the girls. Coffinia Cryptova, scrambling onto the table, led the brawl.

Shurasik sat down on the floor and, shaking his head, began to turn a small dark-blue writing pad.

“Not let me take off my glasses, well I’ll show you! ” He started to mutter vindictively. “ Trampli-kickli! ”

With these words the overshoes tore themselves off his feet and, kicking everyone indiscriminately, threw themselves into the midst of things. One of the overshoes kicked Coffinia, and that one flew off the table like a swallow. But the overshoes, after sowing panic among the “dark, ” were also already attacking the “white.”

“Shurasik, what, have you gone nuts? What are you hitting us for? ” Dusya Dollova shouted fearfully.

“I can do nothing. It’s such a general all-kicking spell. Not possible to tune it exactly, ” Shurasik muttered and immediately dropped on all fours to escape from an overshoe overtaking him.

Unexpectedly the door of the class slammed. Into the classroom either walked or rolled a small round lady with bangs like a pony’s over her eyes. On her nose were thick glasses, and in her hands she was holding a maliciously giggling diary.

“Watch out! Dentistikha! ” Coffinia hissed and crawled from the desk, at the same time smiling at the teacher with a most innocent look.

The overshoes, passing each other, rushed into an attack on the newly entered one, but Dentistikha let fly two red sparks from her ring, changing them into fused pieces of rubber. Considering that he was left barefooted, Shurasik despondently sniffed. The fight stopped in a flash, and all rushed to their places. Tanya noticed that Bab-Yagun had a swollen nose, and Vanka a split lip. But at the same time, Gunya Glomov also, adorned by a pair of black eyes, clearly was not suitable for the cover of a magazine. However, even before the fight he was not suitable, if, of course, it was not the special periodical for vampires.

“Charming! Charming! ” The lady said resoundingly. “Fighting again? What is it this time? ”

“Because of her, because of the newbie! She said that you’re foolish, and your lessons are awful! ” Coffinia Cryptova told tales, pointing a finger at Tanya.

Tanya wanted to object, but decided that it would be more proper to keep quiet. Dentistikha turned and vigilantly looked at the new one through her glasses. It was difficult to determine whether she believed Coffinia.

“Strange, ” she said. “Strange. But now let us begin. Not worth losing a minute... To start, as always, a small check.”

Dentistikha tossed the diary up in the air, and it noted all those present. Tanya hardly managed to follow as the pen flickered. Then the book began to fly successively all over the students, hovering motionlessly over each for several seconds.

“Checking homework, ” whispered Vanka Valyalkin. His voice sounded alarmed, it was likely that not everything was satisfactory with his homework.

Probably, nothing could be hidden from the diary. It punched Bab-Yagun lightly, also cuffed Valyalkin, harder, affectionately stroked Dusya Dollova’s hair, slid past Coffinia without any interest, then gave Gunya Glomov such a sharp blow to the back of the head that his eyes bunched up. Evidently, the third-year student had already bothered the book a great deal by his stupidity. When it was Tanya’s turn, it lingered over her head for a particularly long time as if it was confused. Tanya was frightened that it would also knock her on the crown — indeed she knew exactly nothing, and, after all, it was her first time in the class. But the book did not begin to do this. Instead the pen quickly scratched several lines, and the diary flew over into the hands of Dentistikha.

She read the report and, as it seemed to Tanya, glanced at her again with special interest. The girl would give dearly to read what was written about her, but the book had already slammed shut, and moreover was even closed with two copper clasps.

“And now practice! Whoopli woepli penalbowpli! ” Dentistikha said briskly and, decisively taking off the thick glasses, sternly dropped quick glances at the class.

Immediately a third of the students fell onto the floor with a terrible sharp pain in the stomach, others, including Tanya, turned green like frogs and swelled up, and the remaining took to hiccupping with such terrifying frequency that their heads simply managed to jump.

“Excellent, ” nodded Dentistikha. “As you see, I used plain but effective evil eyes, with which you still expect to meet in life, and so it’s time you search for a method to beat them now... And I for the time being will read a little Horace in the original... Last night I completely could not rest. Slander was arranging in the cave of the cyclopes, and they were stamping so terribly...”

And, reaching for a small booklet, Dentistikha became absorbed in reading.

Trying not to look at her nightmarishly green, itchy hands, Tanya looked around. Bab-Yagun, holding his stomach, hurriedly whispered incomprehensible words. Shurasik, jumping with hiccups, unsuccessfully turned the pages of his small notebook. Coffinia Cryptova, the same green as Tanya, issued from the ring one red spark after another. However, the colour of Coffinia herself did not change at all.

After an hour Dentistikha with regret bookmarked the book with a dry bat wing and slammed it shut.

“Well, what business do we have? Oh, I see that in no way... Bad, dears, bad. Here you, ” Dentistikha pointed to those rolling on the floor with a sharp pain in the stomach, “had to say: Trickus runtus. Did it help? Must think by yourselves! You, turned green, had to utter: Goatbumpy noisu. And you, hiccupping, must, picking up your head, shout Feverytb! loudly. I’m sure you’ll remember this in the future. Meet again in three days... I’m certain, Shurasik, you’ll not begin to use more freeze spells against hiccups... You see what it led to? Someone please take this block to magic station. I’ll ask Yagge to defrost it.”

* * *

“Poor Shurasik! ” Tanya said, watching as Bab-Yagun, Vanka, and two more kids from the “white” hauled the icy block to magic station. It was written precisely so and not “first aid station” in the directory.

“He’s not only poor, he’s also awfully heavy, ” puffed slender Valyalkin. “You know how Shurasik turned up in Tibidox? He was getting fives in school, simply a compulsive A student, and then a teacher gave him a two. Because of some nonsense: either did not bring a notebook or failed to hear some question. This first two in his life so shook Shurasik that his mark book suddenly flared up by itself, and immediately on this teacher’s head grew seventeen mushroom-toadstools... Until now, by the way, they have remained. Neither Medusa nor Sardanapal could remove them. She plucks off the toadstools and new ones grow from the mushroom spawns.”

“Serves her right: she’ll know how to give twos for no good reason, ” said Tanya.

Conversing, they gradually reached the magic station.

“Now you’ll see my granny. She’s boss here, ” Bab-Yagun said with pride. “Only, here’s the deal: remember quickly she’s Yagge. Don’t call her Yaga, she dislikes this terribly. And her feet are definitely not bony.”

In the small magic station partitioned by screens, on a three-legged stool sat a withered old lady, dressed like a gypsy with a red kerchief on her head and wrapped in a bright shawl. The old lady was smoking a cherry pipe and breathing out fragrant puffs of smoke, forming whimsical animals.

“Well, grandson, what have you done this time? Today Slander ran to me. He was seething so that his brain almost hard-boiled, ” squinting piercingly, she turned to Bab-Yagun.

“We? But we did nothing...” Bab-Yagun was embarrassed. Both of his fat cheeks reddened like washed apples.

Yagge threatened her grandson with a dry finger:

“Oh look, Yagun, don’t make Slander angry! He’s a dangerous magician. The last time he was so angry when you let out the dragons... Well, now what? Used that passageway again? And I happened to make a slip of the tongue then! ”

“So it turned out, ” Bab-Yagun was embarrassed. “And why did Slander come? Only to swear? ”

“Of course not. Today he has been in the caves all day. Forced the auxiliary shamans to wall up the Nameless Basement, and one of them had his hand crushed by a stone. He brought him in to be treated...”

“By the way, about ‘to be treated’... We brought someone here, ” Bab-Yagun recalled suddenly.

Yagge stared at the stiffened Shurasik:

“Ah yes, indeed I see, cast an outstanding freeze spell, on top of that from a very close distance. Okay, please unload him on the couch and spread, perhaps, an oilcloth underneath. When I defrost him, it’ll be really full of water here... And you, children, leave here quick! Nothing to crowd here for — never saw someone sensitive to cold, perhaps? ”

Tanya was about to make her way to the door together with everyone, but the sharp-eyed old lady noticed her and, tenaciously holding her sleeve, looked at her face.

“Ah, mother! You’re indeed Tanya, Tanya Grotter... I knew Leopold, he was such an excellent man and outstanding magician. To think only that now... now he’s no more.” Yagge sobbed, however, that did not prevent her from nudging the back of the lingering Vanka Valyalkin. “You know, little daughter: Plague-Del-Cake, whom all these cowards call She-Who-Is-No-More, seriously feared only your father, and, perhaps, even Sardanapal... Exactly why she attacked Leopold, fearing that he had already finished his experiments... Yes, your father perished, but she also did not reach her goal...” Yagge again sobbed. “And as soon as I think that any minute now...”

“Granny! ” Bab-Yagun whispered warningly.

“Oh, quiet-quiet! ” The old lady recollected suddenly and covered her mouth with a withered hand.

Soon after this Yagge escorted Tanya and Bab-Yagun from magic station and got busy with Shurasik.

On the whole return trip to the bedrooms Tanya tried to persuade Bab-Yagun to tell her the truth, but he only reddened uncomfortably and muttered:

“I can’t, gave my word... If it were not for the word...”

“Word to whom? ” Tanya tried to find out. “To Sardanapal? ”

But Bab-Yagun clearly also could not answer this question, but only frowned. For this very reason Tanya was awfully offended by him. What are they all here in Tibidox, lost their minds? They make a big deal out of everything for nothing and yet also looked askance at her somehow incomprehensibly: either as a saviour or as a leper.

“Why did you let the dragons out? ” She asked Bab-Yagun, in order at least to somehow tease him a little.

“Ah, I was young. It seemed to me they were tightly locked up, ” he growled unwillingly.

* * *

In the evening, when Tanya attempted to prepare for the next day’s lesson on evil spirits studies in order not to get hit in the face with mud in front of Medusa Gorgonova, whom Vanka Valyalkin said was awfully strict, the Reference Book of White Magician lying before her suddenly soared into the air and with enormous speed began to twirl above the table.

Coffinia Cryptova joyfully bobbed up and down on the bed, brushing aside the tube of cream with which she was smearing her nose and cheeks.

“Excellent! You forgot to return the book to the library, and time is up! Abdullah will curse you! ” She began to yell.

Tanya caught the escaping, kicking book with difficulty, ran out into the living room, and only then grasped that she did not know where the library was. It was useless to ask Coffinia, and Tanya jumped into Vanka Valyalkin’s room.

Vanka, pushing out his sharp thin elbows, was sitting at the table and greedily devouring cutlets and pickles appearing in the centre of a small piece of cloth with uneven corners. Noticing Tanya, Vanka jumped in embarrassment, chewing on a cutlet. At this moment it was particularly evident how absurd he was, with sharp shoulders, hair sticking out, but amazingly kind and simultaneously mischievous eyes. Even his soccer shirt was special — yellow, long, torn in two places, clearly brought with him from the world of the moronoids.

“Oh, magic tablecloth... cut with scissors in the dining room... And I always want to eat. Only tell no one... Nevertheless, the edge of the tablecloth caught something stupid: besides pickles and cutlets — nothing...” he embarrassingly acknowledged, hiding the linen under the pillow. “Hey, what’s with you? ” He was surprised, accidentally seeing the fright on Tanya’s face.

Tanya waved the kicking Reference Book.

“I haven’t returned this! The genie! ”

“Ah, well let’s...” Vanka Valyalkin snatched the book from her and, opening the first page, glanced at the terrible press. All previous inscriptions disappeared, and instead appeared a quite small:

I WARNED YOU... in flowing letters black like squid.

“Got yourself in a mess! Run! ” Vanka shouted and, thrusting the book under his arm, dashed along the corridor. Tanya barely managed to keep up with him. They flew past magic torches and pictures, and dodged the whimsical labyrinths of corridors.

“Guard! ” The magic ring on Tanya’s finger squeaked in the voice of great-grandfather Theophilus. “Bear in mind that I’ll not be able to remove this strong magic! Run quicker! Plop-plop-plop! Where are you turning, the other side! ”

“Hush, you! ” Vanka snapped to the ring. “I know better than you where the library is! ”

“And I’ll ask strangers not to interfere! All sorts turn up here! ” The ring got offended, but stopped talking, especially as the children had already run into the library.

The library was located in the base of the Big Tower, where it occupied several huge halls, not counting the infinite number of basements.

And the books, what books were here! Some were riveted by chains. Others, exactly like battleships, crept on the floor. A third set like swift little flocks fluttered under the ceiling. Two thick dictionaries with leather bindings, clearly “dark, ” struck and tore to pieces a sorrowfully cheeping little magazine. The appearance of the children scared off the dictionaries, and they hurriedly took off under the shelves. The miraculously rescued little magazine jumped into Tanya’s hands. On its cover an inscription stood out in splendour: Gossips and Nonsense №10.

Catching one of the slightly torn pages, she casually slid her eyes down it, and it seemed to her as if an ancient candelabrum, swinging on chains, dealt a blow to the back of her head. What will bring Tanya Grotter to Tibidox? Will she not accomplish that terrible act shown by the prophecy of The Ancient One? It is known that She-Who-Is-No-More already victimized the girl soon after her birth, now, when...

Tanya wanted to read more, but there was nothing more — the dictionaries ate off everything. And right here someone coughed hoarsely behind her back. Tanya turned around abruptly and... saw the genie. It was not possible to mix him up with someone else. Abdullah resembled a dense veil of fog. There were seven warts on his cheeks and an enormous turban on his forehead. His face itself was white, flat as a pancake. The features appeared on it suddenly — first an eye surfaced, then the mouth...

Noticing neither Tanya nor Vanka Valyalkin, the genie quickly whispered something, holding his hands like a ladle. Several wearisome seconds passed before Tanya guessed what the genie was doing precisely: he was invoking the irreversible curse.

“Stop! ” She yelled. “We brought the book! ”

The genie greedily grabbed the Reference Book and quickly and subtly leafed through it. Tanya was certain that neither a torn page nor even a pencil mark escaped him.

“About the luckiest among the stupidest! Everything is in order! ” Abdullah said, bending as from a toothache. “You’re lucky, since I did not have time to finish the outstanding curse specially composed for this occasion... But tremble: next time I’ll be merciless and... brief.”

And, carefully pressing the book against his fragile chest, the genie leisurely floated between the shelves, muttering to himself under his breath: “About the most annoying of all of today’s annoyances! The day has passed, but I have cursed no one in particular.”

“He’s not afraid to leave us here alone? ” Tanya wondered.

Vanka expressively drew air into his nose. His nose, though not as picturesque as Bab-Yagun’s, drew air in not a bit quieter.

“Somehow one of the ‘dark’ attempted to pinch The Black-book Manual on Falling in Love. He probably fell in love with Coffinia and this book was in locked access. And he chose a suitable time — at night, and sneaked around unnoticeably. In short, no one really found out what happened to him... They say, Medusa and Sardanapal hardly left him, and arranged a dressing down to the genie, and nevertheless he almost threw in his towel. You’ll still see him, this fellow: such long hair, always shuddering... Hey, where are you going? ” Vanka shouted suddenly, discovering that Tanya had dived into the book depository.

“I want to find something here... Prophecy of The Ancient One. What do you know about The Ancient One? ” Tanya asked when Vanka caught up with her and they quickly went between the shelves, with thousands of whimsical check stubs looking at them.

“The Ancient One? Well, he’s like the greatest magician. Tibidox stands on his Hair. We studied him in history of magic, ” Vanka said not too confidently.

“And everyone believes his prophecies? He never makes mistakes? ”

“Never... Indeed it’s he who devised everything — all the magic. Assembled by grains from the earliest times: something at the titans, something at the evil spirits, something at the heathen gods. He immediately separated the most harmful spells and forbade using them. And nevertheless only certain people uses them, — that is, the black magicians. And he also established Tibidox. All magicians after The Ancient One are his students and students of his students.”

“And are they all difficult to raise? ” Tanya was interested, recalling the name of the school. “And Sardanapal? ”

“Don’t know. Perhaps he was also. Though it’s hard to imagine: Sardanapal — and supposedly difficult to raise, ” Vanka honestly acknowledged. “But in general how a person will turn out all depends on that person. It happens that someone from the ‘black’ magicians passes to the ‘white.’ Bad for him among the ‘black.’ But this happens only rarely. More often it’s the other way around. Someone from the ‘white’ will start by allowing himself indulgences: utter one, another, a third ‘dark’ spell — and gets sucked in... Good though that here in Tibidox there’s such a rule: a ‘dark’ instructor cannot teach ‘white’ students black magic, and vice versa, they never reveal all shielding secrets of ‘white’ magic to a ‘dark’ student.”

Observing a shelf with ancient books and leafing through a good hundred squeaking, grunting, scorching, or freezing cold volumes, Tanya became melancholy. Really she could actually find here what she needs? And here another kikimora from one of the covers suddenly came to life and splashed the girl’s face with musty slime. “Gotchaga, naughtyga? Don’t poke your nose herega! ” It squeaked. Tanya flicked the kikimora on the nose and returned the book to the shelf.

“No, we’ll never find it here...” she said dejectedly, but instantly she took heart, since the following book extracted from the cabinet was called: Prompter for Incorrigible Lazy People.

On the cover a small opening was cut, the inscription above it said: Whisper a question — you’ll get the answer.

“How to find what you cannot find? ” Tanya whispered.

“Say: Checkis trackis ransackis — and then the name of the necessary object! ” The Prompter shrilly and very loudly shouted.

“Oh come on, what trash! ” Vanka said indignantly. “I also thought that here it could not manage without a dirty trick. Imagine: you carry it to class for a test, whisper a question, and it will prompt so loudly that even the dead will come running...”

“Now we’ll verify! Checkis trackis ransackis the prophecy of The Ancient One.

Shaking up the ring, Tanya released a green spark.

A minute passed agonizingly, one more — nothing happened. Resolving not to be stressed there, Tanya decided to repeat again, but here a rustle was heard from the direction of the spiral staircase leading from the basements. Along the steps rolled a tight scroll bound by a red ribbon. Finding itself at Tanya’s feet, the scroll soared into the air and unrolled before her eyes.

I, The Ancient One, the First and the Last, the founder of Tibidox, open slightly the curtain of the future ...

When I glided up high on a tapestry,

Appeared to me visions of prophecy.

Crying of a girl lustily spread in the stillness –

A child was born in the taiga wilderness.

Drive one crazy laughter squeaks –

To the child the killer Plague sneaks.

Like a flame will flare up a fiery gaze –

Like a miracle will save the girl the double bass.

On this earth not cowardice of place –

Two loving hearts in darkness blaze.

By parental death a vow is broken –

Ten serene years a gift bestowen.

She-Who-Is-No-More runs away crestfallen –

In a child’s hand death is beaten.

Fiery storm dark forces will be awoken –

Magic sword is suddenly stolen.

Sword will sparkle brightly, my voice will answer,

And the magic Hair will sever.

Guile of immortals not possible to reckon –

Even the one who cannot will commit treason.

Chaos an ancient promise will realize,

And She-Who-Is-No-More from the coffin will arise...

And a terrible battle in that hour is beginning –

The eye will close by the death of the deserving.

In the finale of all waits a very curious paradox:

Grotter Tatiana will obliterate Tibido x.

It seemed to Tanya as if a cold invisible hand pierced her chest and squeezed her heart. So this is why Slander ordered to brick up basements and placed cyclopes everywhere. He feared the fulfilment of the scheduled prophecy and with all his might tried to take care of the Hair.

Unexpectedly beside her emerged the genie Abdullah. Throwing a sizzling glance at Tanya, he hissed something, grabbed the scroll, and disappeared together with it, and yet a moment later a powerful spell caught and unceremoniously tossed them out of the library.

“Did you read it? ” She asked Vanka guardedly, when the spell finally stopped somersaulting him along the corridor.

“It seemed to me that the scroll is generally clean. Yet I’m thinking: why were you staring at it? ” Shaking himself, Valyalkin wondered.