The Magic Hair

“Brought along the double bass? Great sport! I adore magic piloting! By the way, in a week we have a composite match with the werewolves, ” Bab-Yagun informed her, when, leaving for Tanya’s first magic piloting, they passed by a cyclops. The one-eyed giant was gloomily sharpening his poleaxe, once in a while distracted from his occupation in order to pick his nose. His mad eye was barely visible under the half-lowered eyelid.

Bab-Yagun was dragging his vacuum, shinning with polished chrome-plated rim and a new lengthened nozzle on a pipe, and the grandson of Yagge bragged that the vacuum was super-high-speed. Coffinia also had an outstanding vacuum: small, compact, but it was perceived to be very powerful. Then the vacuum of Vanka Valyalkin was really old: with a dangling cord, a pipe wound with duct tape, and a motor which Vanka said would clonk out at the most inappropriate moment.

Dusya Dollova and Verka Parrotova: one carried a violin, and the other a strange object with a heap of all possible rods and ledges clearly of shaman origin. The lightest burden was Shurasik’s: over his shoulder was a long mop with propellers.

Half a kilometre from the gloomy huge mass of Tibidox was a large stadium, along the edges of which were located fireproof hangars with dragons. Occasionally from one or the other hangar a deep roar hitg the eardrums, and from the openings began to pour out suffocating sulphuric smoke.

The group of children had hardly stopped in the middle of the field when approaching them limped a small lopsided fellow, high-cheeked, blind in one eye, the left leg not bending at the knee while walking. On his neck hung a gold locket with the inscription: Nightingale O. Robber. Trainer of magic piloting.

“What does the ‘O’ stand for? ” Tanya whispered.

“Odikhmantevich...” Bab-Yagun answered in a whisper.

Nightingale O. Robber sullenly looked at Tanya, and then, already with a certain respect, — at her double bass: evidently, he was an expert in flying instruments.

“Sardanapal told me about you. You are Grotter, ” he said slowly through clenched teeth. “I’m sure you don’t know how to fly and you don’t know the rules...”

Coffinia contemptuously giggled. Gunya Glomov began to neigh disgustingly. And even many of the whites could not keep a smile in control.

Offended, Tanya wanted to say that she knew how to fly a little though indeed she did not know the rules, but she kept quiet, deciding that Nightingale nevertheless would not believe her. Moreover, she was already used to being treated badly by all the blacks.

Nightingale O. Robber frowned, and all the smiles disappeared at once.

“Keep quiet everyone and listen! Or does someone already consider himself a pro? Now about the rules. The rules are simple: one field, ten players and one dragon to a team, five balls: sneeze, fire-extinguisher, stun, pepper, and immobilize. Fire-extinguisher ball douses the flame for the entire game — three points. Pepper makes it necessary to spit out previously swallowed players — five points. After the sneeze the dragon opens its mouth wide, which gives the possibility to throw in new balls. Two points. The dragon temporarily understands nothing after a stun ball and it can swallow players of both teams and spectators. One point. And the most important ball — the fifth: immobilize. It lulls the dragon to sleep. Ten points. The team that throws the immobilize ball almost wins for sure... But this ball is the most difficult to throw since it’s the heaviest and must be thrown nearly right up to the dragon. Well and in other respects the matter is simple. Five players on attack, three cover the dragon, and the remaining two prevent the dragon from swallowing team players... Game concludes in two cases: when all the balls are thrown or when all players are swallowed. Understand? ”

“Eh-eh, understand, ” confirmed Tanya.

“What do you understand, fool from a small alley? You mean: dragon — um! — and you’re in the belly! Together with your wart! Or what’s that you have on your nose? ” Baring his yellow teeth, Gunya Glomov shouted.

Tanya, reddening, flicked her ring finger and neatly flung a green spark into Gunya’s mouth. Usually a spark barely burnt, but the tongue is a very vulnerable place. Glomov swayed and, opening his mouth like a fish, began to bounce up and down from the pain.

“A sneeze ball! Two points to the white team! ” Vanka laughed.

Nightingale sternly gave a cough and laughter immediately stopped.

“Quiet everyone, or I’ll cast a mute spell! ” He raised his voice. “In a week the decisive match between composite of Tibidox and composite of werewolves. Here, in our field. The dragons at this time of the year are preparing for hibernation and therefore more evil and more dangerous than normal.” At this moment, as if in confirmation of his words, two hangars immediately began to shake from a hoarse roar and were enveloped by black smoke. Dusya Dollova sighed, and Shurasik turned white as a sheet.

Nightingale smirked sarcastically. He had terrible news in store:

“And finally, one more thing. Since it’s a serious meeting, all dragons will be hungry, without fire-extinguishing muzzles and anti-swallow guards. Our ‘goal’ will be Goyaryn itself, if this name tells you anything...”

After such tidings even Gunya Glomov turned grey.

“But what do you want? Anyone scared — play in the sandbox! ” Becoming glassy eyed, Nightingale O. Robber shouted. “Dragonball — it’s not simply the most ancient sport in the world played by the most courageous and strongest magicians! It’s life itself! Today we’ll master dodging technique... Hey, there, bring out Mercury! ”

The gates of the hangar nearest to them lifted up with a terrible squeak. Nine genies with difficulty held onto the chains of a straining dragon. Its golden scales sparkled in the sun, and smoke escaped from its nostrils — a sure sign that the dragon was out of sorts. In size it thrice exceeded a large horse. A whirlwind arose from the strokes of its leathery wings, and sand flew into the eyes of the children. In the red hungry eyes of the dragon was read the desire to turn everyone into a well-fried cutlet of its own preparation.

Nightingale leaned over and, reaching for a small red ball from a bag, tossed it on his hands. On the side of the ball was a clasp, which made it possible to attach it to the forearm in order to not lose the ball on turns.

“Outstanding pepper charge! ” Nightingale shouted. “As is known, dragons always get furious after it. Who will risk flying up very near and throw it into Mercury’s mouth? I immediately warn that it will not like it. Then it will be necessary to have time to cross the field and dive into the dugout for players: over there at that end of the field, — the red circle outlined by magic. Well? ”

“And is there no calmer dragon, but this is some psycho-tank: it even strikes with its tail and completely finishes one off? ” Gunya Glomov asked uncertainly.

From the fact that none of the children even smiled, Tanya understood that everyone agreed with him. Even Bab-Yagun’s lips paled noticeably, but his ears, on the contrary, became crimson. Evidently, the several hours spent inside the dragon’s mouth had still not been blotted out from his memory. But even then, can such a thing be forgotten really?

“Possible to pose a question? Professor Stinktopp talked about this dragon, that it brought down two American destroyers when the shielding magic over the island failed? ” As always, Shurasik got in inopportunely.

Bab-Yagun poked him with a fist:

“Shh! It’s nauseating enough without you! You know, dragons don’t love being fired at by rockets.”

Nightingale O. Robber, listening to this skirmish, smirked:

“Well, you cowards! Yes, this is it, Mercury... But I was still thinking of finding among you a player for the composite team of Tibidox. After how my best forward bumped into Eyeless Horror at midnight last month, indeed a place freed up.”

Tanya noticed how, with the reference of the team of Tibidox, Bab-Yagun and Vanka Valyalkin instantly shuddered and moved forward. Another second — and words would fly out of their lips, but here... here Tanya suddenly heard someone’s loud voice.

“Let me! ” This someone said, and when at once two-dozen eyes were set on her, Tanya understood that this voice was her own.

“WHAT! You?! You’re joking, Grotter? ” Nightingale pierced her with an exasperated look. But in a second the cold in his surviving pupil was already changed into malice. “Certainly, I won’t dissuade you! Hey, let go of the dragon! ”

The genies deftly pulled the muzzle off the dragon, and then, having simultaneously unfastened the chains, they jumped away. One delayed slightly and the dragon, with a stroke of a leathery wing, knocked him down like a bowling pin. The overturned genie was still somersaulting and the dragon had already taken off and was drifting above their heads, detained only by the magic barrier preventing it from leaving the bounds of the play field. Only now from the ground, it became properly evident that it was enormous. Its wingspan was large and intimidating, and the long flexible tail ending with the resemblance of an arrow lashed with prodigious speed. Not without reason the nickname of the dragon was Mercury — for such an impetuous young dragon with sparkling scales there was not a better thought out nickname.

Tanya lowered her eyes, but nevertheless involuntarily followed its shadow sliding along the sand. Do not be afraid. She will not perish. Nightingale will not allow this, although... Here she suddenly recalled that he was looking at her somehow strangely — in the way all the blacks would, — with concealed hostility.

“No need for Tanya! I instead of her! ” Vanka volunteered, rushing to his vacuum. But, as if to spite him, his decrepit vacuum, instead of taking off, jumped about three metres and the pipe fell off. Falling onto the ground, Vanka injured his leg and bit his lip in order to not cry out from pain and vexation.

“Valyalkin, where did you dig up this trash? It’ll not even fly as far as the dump! ” Coffinia said with a sneer.

“Well, Grotter? Forward! The dragon’s already in the sky! ” Nightingale rushed.

“Yes... I’m already going...” Tanya looked around in search of her double bass. “Don’t look at the dragon! Don’t look! ” A voice said to her, and another jeered: “How will you throw the ball into its mouth with your eyes closed? ”

“Wait! ” Bab-Yagun overtook her. “Remember: a young dragon’s flame is not so hot, but they’re much friskier... And remember, it flies along a straight line...” Suddenly Bab-Yagun was seized by numbed lips, from which, in spite of all attempts, no sound was coming out now.

Nightingale O. Robber blew on his ring, from which a red spark recently left.

“No prompting! Let her investigate! I warned that I’d cast a mute spell! ” He bellowed.

On legs like cotton Tanya made her way to the double bass. No one laughed: even Coffinia and Gunya Glomov for some reason subsided. Evidently then, what she was doing also in truth verged on madness.

“Hold the fireproof ointment... And you’ll also put it on your hair! Smells nasty, but must be so.” Having slipped his hand into his pocket, Nightingale threw to her a flask with yellow ointment which made the eyes water.

“Vampire bile! Outstanding anti-burn! But remember: if it gets onto your tongue, you yourself will become a vampire! ” Vanka shouted.

“I said: no prompting! ” Nightingale exclaimed, also casting the mute spell on him.

“Aha! So he reckoned that I’ll nevertheless take the bile on my tongue! ” Tanya surmised, in a hurry rubbing herself with the foul smelling ointment.

“Phew, how you reek! ” Cryptova did not fail to wince.

“Look, I’ll put it on your nose! ” Tanya threatened, but unwillingly: she was not up to it.

And here finally came the moment when it already became impossible to delay any longer. Tanya sat on the double bass and, whispering the spell, soared into the sky, holding the bow in one hand. “Oh, Uncle Herman! Oh, Pipa! How glad you would be! ” She muttered and, having made several trial turns, began to carefully fly to the dragon from behind. First descending to the ground, then soaring, Mercury glided above the field, occasionally cutting into the magic barrier. Its long neck turned to the genies distracting it with colourful shawls from the ground. Thus far the dragon did not notice Tanya.

Deciding to make use of this, the girl swiftly swept over the back of Mercury and slid along its neck. The wind gusts from the dragon’s wings flung the double bass either to one or the other side, and it was necessary for Tanya to balance with her whole body so that she would not lose control of the instrument. She already saw the two closely set eyes, the short snout, and the mouth with the lower lip jutting out. She perceived her only chance as that the dragon would not notice her for as long as possible. If she could manage to throw the ball and then abruptly race to the dugout, Mercury would not have time to singe her.

“One... two...” Tanya began to count and, leaning over from the double bass, she already took aim in order to throw the ball into the dragon’s mouth, but here Mercury suddenly tossed up its snout. The small eyes blazing up with irritation were set on the double bass, and a second later the open mouth was directed at Tanya. The girl understood that she had flown carelessly up too closely and the dragon had noticed her.

At the last moment leaning to the right, Tanya made an improbable turn and, aiming the bow, she dashed to the dugout. A jet of dragon flame flashed by quite closely. The strokes of the wings increased in frequency: Mercury caught up, in flight firing its flame at her.

Just a little more to the dugout remained when something flashed before Tanya’s eyes. Blinded, she directed the bow too sharply, and in the next moment, tossed up by a sliding stroke of the dragon’s wing, she flew off the double bass. The instrument flew downward with the bow, Tanya herself, capsized, fell onto the dragon’s neck and mechanically — fearing only one thing: to fall — clung to it. When a second later sight returned to her and she understood what she was sitting on, she began to yell from horror and almost let go, but considered in time that to let go of the neck would be even more dangerous than remaining on it. Here, in any case, flame could not reach her. Making turns, Mercury rushed over the field and, feeling something foreign on its neck, grew more and more furious.

Intercepting with her right hand, Tanya suddenly discovered that the ball was still attached to her forearm. Here, attempting to shake her off, the dragon shook its head violently, and Tanya with a deafening screech rolled down straight to its head, grabbing hold with her hands the protrusions of scales above its eyes and embracing with her legs the upper part of Mercury’s neck. Time after time Mercury abruptly shook its head, but Tanya held on tightly. Desperation gave her strength and furthermore she understood soon enough that the dragon, no matter how ridiculous, could not throw her off, in any case, while it was in the air.

The mouth of Mercury was tightly closed, but even were it open, Tanya nevertheless would not be able to reach it. The mouth was located much lower, but the wide nostrils ejecting sulphuric puffs were quite close. Not thinking what would result from this but wanting only to get rid of the ball interfering with her, Tanya waited until the nostrils again began to pull in air, and, having unfastened the ball, shoved the peppery round object into the dragon’s nostril. Dragon pulled it in together with the air, and several seconds later was heard a faint plop: the pepper ball snapped into action.

Suddenly the dragon threw its mouth open the whole width and sneezed so, as if a grenade exploded in its head. Tanya was literally swept off its snout, and, somersaulting, she tumbled onto the sand, having slowed down already near the ground on a safety spell. All the whites and blacks that were on the field ran to her, and behind them, with her double bass in his hands, angrily limped the lopsided trainer of magic piloting.

Meanwhile the genies caught the deafeningly sneezing Mercury, which, from its own sneezes becoming louder all the time, was turning over and bumping into first one then the other magic barrier. But how could it even be otherwise when its entire body was shaking from the sneezes?

“How you flew! And how you dodged! It was... was... Never saw the like! ” Dusya Dollova and Verka Parrotova were gushing with enthusiasm.

“You were marvellous on it! I thought it burnt you, and when your double bass fell — I decided that’s it, you’re finished! And here Shurasik suddenly began to scream, even louder than a girl... But what scum nevertheless! I precisely saw that someone threw a red spark at you. Only who — I did not make out. Someone wanted very much that you turned up in the dragon’s mouth! ” Vanka Valyalkin heatedly exclaimed. It seems that he and Bab-Yagun somehow managed to remove the mute spell.

“A spark? ” Tanya vaguely recollected the red flash blinding her for an instant before Mercury rushed at her.

Pushing Vanka aside, Bab-Yagun ran up to her.

“Why did you not dodge? I tried to say: it’s quicker on a straight line, you dodge! But marvellous all the same! Never saw someone stop a dragon this way! ” Bab-Yagun exclaimed.

The children made room. Nightingale, short of breath, forced his way forward. He first opened then shut his mouth, obviously not finding what to say.

“Well G-g-g-Grotter! ” He finally puffed. “I’ve played dragonball for four hundred years and that was the first time I’ve seen a pepper ball thrown into the dragon’s nostril! Four hundred years! And though it’s not against the rules, but... Ugh! Take your double bass and march from here! ” And Nightingale jabbed with a finger in the direction of the locker room.

Someone from the blacks started to neigh. Tanya did not even turn in order to find out who. She got up dejectedly and, embracing her instrument, she meandered from the field. She was certain that everything was done for. Ten steps, twenty... The load of disappointment became completely unbearable, but here the voice of Nightingale overtook her:

“Hey, Grotter! Rest now, but tomorrow you are at training! I’m taking you into the team! ”

Behind Tanya’s back someone disappointingly yelled and collapsed heavily on the sand. Coffinia Cryptova could not stand it when someone was lucky.

* * *

The whole evening the freshmen buzzed in the common room. They could not come to their senses, time after time reliving events of the day.

“You know how alarmed Nightingale was when your double bass began to fall! He caught it with some spell and did not allow it to break! He was even less shaken, in my opinion, about you than about your double bass, ” said Vanka Valyalkin.

“The match with the werewolves — a serious matter. Twice they have beaten Tibidox. And what a dragon the werewolves have! Horror! Dodges balls then swallows forwards like candies. Not without reason Nightingale put as ‘goal’ Goyaryn itself, ” Bab-Yagun said thoughtfully.

“And if you get bitten by a werewolf, you will indeed become a werewolf? Yes? ” Dusya Dollova, treating Tanya to chocolates, was interested. Dusya had a terrible sweet tooth, in contrast to Vanka, who, though eternally hungry, did not like sweets.

“What, such cases happen? ” Tanya was tense.

“No, ” said Bab-Yagun.

“But I read in History of Dragonball that yes, ” Shurasik barged in. “When the werewolves like some player of a different team, they think: ‘Aha! And why not entice him to us? ’ Only for business that they bite.”

Shurasik appeared contented and pacified. To be sure: indeed now everyone was friends with him! On the chests of almost everyone in Tibidox, with the exception perhaps of Coffinia, were pinned his little red hearts.

* * *

The entire week before the match Tanya was training together with the composite team, where she was the youngest. Besides her, in the team there were four “dark” students and five “white.” Moreover, they did not carry out training haphazardly but with Goyaryn. It more or less recognized the other members of the team, but here it could perfectly still fire a flame at Tanya, although she also tried to flicker in its eyes more often than Goyaryn was accustomed to. Furthermore, based on the example of Goyaryn and Mercury Tanya learnt that dragons could not stand it when someone flew on top or on the side of them, while a player approaching from below would not provoke such irritation in them. True, from below it would be easier to get hit by the tail, and this was even more dangerous than being swallowed.

The trainer of magic piloting behaved sufficiently strangely with respect to Tanya. It seemed Nightingale stared at her from a distance, stared hostilely but at the same time seemingly with a certain respect. At training he gave her the most difficult tasks, forcing her to fly on the double bass, even when the rest of the team was no longer training. As a result by the evening Tanya dound herself totally exhausted and fell asleep over the notebooks on evil spirits studies or exercises on theoretical magic. But she definitely would not allow herself to do that for removal of evil eye. And although Dentistikha treated her seemingly with sympathy, it did not prevent her at all from casting the same spells on Tanya as on the rest of the class.

This intense rhythm of life temporarily forced Tanya to forget about the prophecy of The Ancient One, the mysterious proximity of Plague-del-Cake either dead or alive, and the mysterious appearance of Agukh in Medusa’s office. Only once in the evening a strange incident resurrected all these unpleasant moments in her memory. It happened when, returning from a late training, she strayed in the intricate corridors of Tibidox and again turned up in the Tower of Ghosts. Unexpectedly somewhere in front on the corridor muffled voices were heard. Not wanting to face the local inhabitants, Tanya in a hurry dived behind a large plaster vase and lurked there.

The voices approached. Carefully looking out, Tanya saw that along the corridor, not touching the floor with his feet, went Lieutenant Rzhevskii, and next to him slowly flowed a disgusting essence with a small bald head and in a blood-splashed white shirt. The eyes looked like black holes, and Tanya surmised that this was Eyeless Horror, the ghost of the “dark” part of Tibidox, about whom she had heard so much.

“Did you notice nothing strange in recent days? ” Eyeless Horror spoke hoarsely.

“Uh-huh, I do! My jokes with the noses amuse no one! And no one fixes the knives for me! And also, when at Yagge’s I spilled a cauldron with some potion, she hurled a ladle at me! Imagine, at a ghost! ” Lieutenant answered with a crazy chuckle.

Eyeless Horror winced with annoyance. His words were already almost indiscernible and reached her in fragments.

“Blockhead! He was not in the caves? Now it’s clear to all that she has an ally here. He opened the way... Nameless Basement... Soon the evil spirits will finish the work, and then...”

Unexpectedly Horror broke off and stared at the vase behind which Tanya hid.

“Wait, I heard a rustle. Someone’s eavesdropping! ” He said hoarsely and, puffed up, with which he made himself still more disgusting, began to flow to the vase.

Tanya was prepared to shout the scare away spell Briskus-quickus! but here from a little narrow corridor leading from the basements emerged Slander Slanderych. Noticing him, both ghosts retreated in a cowardly manner.

The balding dean of Tibidox, dressed in a dark raincoat, stopped across from the vase and suspiciously looked around. Tanya perceived that something sharp smelling was coming from him and her eyes started to water as then in the field.

Afraid that he would notice her, Tanya even stopped breathing, but Slander seemed to have already noticed her because he suddenly asked:

“Are you here? The ghosts didn’t frighten you? ”

His voice sounded affectionate. Deciding that it was senseless to hide any longer, Tanya looked out from her refuge. On seeing her, Slander Slanderych for some reason shuddered, and then began to yell already in a quite different voice:

“And what are you doing here, Grotter? Well, march to your room! Your marks will be lowered according to your behaviour! ”

Tanya, struck by this change, pulled her head into her shoulders and whisked to the stairs. Already along the way it suddenly came to her that Slander was behaving strangely. Very strangely. Moreover, he was definitely frightened of her. And did he even expect to meet her here at all?

Shurasik was sitting in the common drawing room and managing to quickly read four dictionaries and two reference books. Furthermore, next to him was even a very thick book, on the cover of which appeared: Professor Z.A. Dullin. Additional exercises for those with little homework.

“Shurasik, if a magician sprinkled or rubbed on himself something reeking amazingly, what does it mean? ” Seizing the opportunity, Tanya asked.

Shurasik detached his sharp nose away from the textbooks and thoughtfully stared at her.

“Well... first, from fire, if it’s vampire bile... Well, and finally, strong smells lure the evil spirits, ” he answered.

“Lure? You wanted to say ‘frighten away’? ” Tanya was astonished.

“I said what I wanted to say! The evil spirits adores any stink, ” Shurasik was offended and, plugging his ears with his fingers, again was buried in the books.

* * *

On the eve of the match the werewolves arrived in the evening. These were strong stocky guys, something like the adult friends of Pipa, with the only difference that their cheeks and all the hands, with the exception perhaps of the palms, were covered with silvery fur. The names of the werewolves were all in the same manner: Grush, Tush, Frush, Dush, and more of the same. Their captain was called Tobush. He differed from his friends with double the overall dimensions and several scars on his gloomy face. Even Gunya Glomov thought that he would not wish to meet him in human guise and especially not as a wolf.

As far as the trainer was concerned, he was very abnormally strange among the werewolves. Dwarfish in built, hardly reaching the waist of his players, but very stocky and terribly quarrelsome. It seemed the only thing he did was to shout at his players. At the same time a black locket on his neck dangled from side to side.

The werewolves spent the night in one of the guest rooms in the Tower of Ghosts. Next morning Lieutenant Rzhevskii, inclined to gossip, rushed along the entire Tibidox and swore to everyone that at night he heard wolf howls from the room they occupied. Lieutenant was so fascinated that he lost two knives and fell into a deep depression, not knowing where to find them.

Vanka Valyalkin also did not sleep this night. At midnight he always woke up with an indefatigable appetite, which the monotonous cutlets and pickles of his maimed tablecloth could no longer quench. And then Vanka set off for the kitchen, where an acquainted poltergeist Lomunkin with pleasure threw to him hams and cakes. But that night the customary flow of the trip to the kitchen was broken. Vanka, deftly dodging from the hailstorm of grocery rained down on him by the captivated poltergeist cheeping in ardour, was just roasting for himself wieners on a frying pan when someone’s footsteps were heard in the corridor. Dropping everything as it was, Vanka reached the large copper cauldron and lurked there. After several seconds Medusa entered the kitchen and suspiciously looked around. The poltergeist threw an onion onto her head and cowardly hid in the cabinet.

“Ah, so who made noise here... Look, quiet here! ” Medusa grumbled, lowering onto a stool.

Soon, carefully looking out from the cauldron, Vanka ascertained that Medusa appeared at night in the kitchen not for pies or pancakes. She was clearly waiting for someone, but whom? It became clear when Dentistikha slipped into the kitchen, on the way reading a Greek book in her hand, the pages illuminated by a light flying in front of her.

“You already here? ” Vanka heard the voice of Dentistikha.

“Yes, ” answered Medusa. “We need to talk. Lately in our school strange things are taking place. The evil spirits in the basement, strange voices, the theft of the sword from the world of the moronoids. Finally then, the girl is already here... I think all this is connected with the prophecy. More precisely, with its last part.”

“You’re talking about Guile of immortals not possible to reckon – Even the one who cannot will commit treason? ” Dentistikha asked with understanding.

“Yes. The Ancient One warns: must wait for the blow from that one who it’s not possible to suspect in any way...”

“And whom do you suspect? ” Dentistikha asked.

Medusa lowered her voice:

“Does it not seem to you that Slander is behaving very strangely? ”

“Slander Slanderych? ” Dentistikha was astonished. “You think, him? ”

“I think nothing, ” Medusa said coldly. “I bring only facts. He sighs all the time, disappears somewhere. Twice I saw how he was talking to himself. Now and then I think: is someone in charge of his will? ”

“Nonsense! Slander was always somewhat strange! You don’t have any proof. But why, for example, not Sardanapal? Here’s indeed someone completely not possible to think of, ” smiled Dentistikha. “Recently I saw how he for some reason stole into the basement along that ancient stairway which leads to the Sinister Gates.”

“Nonsense! ” Medusa interrupted her indignantly. “Sardanapal will not steal anywhere! He is the head of Tibidox. Not necessary for him to hide from anyone... I thought you’d give me advice, Deni, but you flog nonsense! If something happens soon to the Hair, you know what it can lead to. The Gates will be under threat, and also the whole existence of our world! She-Who-Is-No-More is dangerous for you, the blacks, not a bit less than for us, the whites.

Medusa turned energetically and left, slamming the door.

“Wait! I know what he did for you, but I wanted to say nothing of the kind! Let’s discuss this! ” Dentistikha shouted.

Grabbing hold of whatever came near her hand, she hurriedly piled the book with the wieners hissing on the frying pan and rushed after Medusa.

Vanka rushed out from the cauldron.

“Well, and actions are going on here in Tibidox! They’re wandering everywhere. Swiped my sausage! ” He thought dejectedly.

* * *

At ten in the morning the fog finally dissipated. It was due partly to the sun hanging over the stadium and partly to Professor Stinktopp’s efforts, with whom Slander Slanderych, chosen as the senior referee, was whispering about something for a long time. Nightingale and the werewolf trainer Shush were appointed as arbiters. Both teams came out onto the field and formed two lines beside the referee. So far the dragons were not led out: they were locked up in opposite hangars shuddering from their roars.

Bab-Yagun, distressed that he was not chosen for the team, again offered himself to Sardanapal as commentator.

“Taking a risk. Only see that they would not again arrange the dark for you. Not tired of walking in a cast? ” The academician gave permission and ordered Medusa to bring Bab-Yagun the magic mouthpiece.

Sardanapal appeared tired. In his hands Bab-Yagun noticed a slender little brochure The Magician Chernomor. Training and Suppression of Beards. Preparation of Subordinating Tincture for Animated Moustaches. The head of Tibidox was constantly looking into it as if searching for something, and following inattentively the match under way.

“And here, dear friends, we live to see a new match between the composite team of Tibidox and the composite team of the werewolves, coming to us from a distance — from the Bryansk woods. It goes without saying: the meeting is expected to be rough. The werewolves — a very strong team, solidly occupying a place in the top three. The sun vividly sparkles in the rims of their new powerful vacuums.” Envy was heard in Bab-Yagun’s voice resounding over the field. “The Eight-hundred model Turbo, two waste bins, chrome-plated pipes, and a built-in device for vertical takeoff! And this is only the basic model, I’m even not talking about the designer gadgets and many forbidden talismans, which they for sure have hidden somewhere inside the vacuums. It’s not surprising that with this technology they sometimes succeed in winning...”

Bab-Yagun coughed, but Yagge quickly waved her sleeve and the cough stopped. At the same time in one of the sectors the third bench together with everyone sitting on it collapsed with a crash.

“Gotten into a mess? If someone from the fans of werewolves wants to give me the evil eye again, don’t bother. I’m protected by my granny...” Bab-Yagun warned. “And here it is — my favourite composite team! Team Tibidox! Number one Zhora Zhilkin, the unsurpassed master of levitation and three-dimensional displacement, managing with strong desire alone to move into the radio studio of a popular TV show, from where they took him away to Tibidox. Unfortunately, Zhora doesn’t like vacuums, preferring a mop with propellers. ‘Thanks, at least it’s not a broom, ’ my friend Vanka prompts me... Number two Damien Goryanov from the black magicians, outstanding player and a favourite student of Professor Stinktopp. There is only one ‘but.’ Even tea turns sour from his glance, in consequence of which he always eats separate from the others. Vacuum of model Storm-100U. Very fast, but, unfortunately, a hard to control machine... Number three, Katya Lotkova, a member of the group for protection of dragons. A likable Dirt vacuum, hanging with inoffensive amulets. In the world of the moronoids all the boys without exception fell in love with Katya, until finally her entire house and the asphalt next to it became used up by painted declarations. When it became clear that it couldn’t be done without magic, they brought Katya to Tibidox. The dragons simply adore her, and even not only the dragons...”

Bab-Yagun’s ears slightly reddened.

“Eh-eh... I was distracted... I continue... Number four, Seven-Stump-Holes, outstanding forward with surprising reaction. He got to Tibidox after he solved in six and a half minutes all the problems in the city test for mathematics, after which from boredom he transformed his teacher into an otter. Number six, Rita On-The-Sly, guitar with a trailer of the model Dinghy-Reagent. No one knows what she will do in the next minute, including on the field... Number seven — captain of the team Yura Idiotsyudov. Excellent organizer, great authority. One weakness — extremely quick-tempered. He came to Tibidox after fighting a hundred and seventeen times in a week with the entire class because he too zealously checked everyone’s changed footwear, the teacher did not even ask him to do it. The gift of regeneration. His scratches and abrasions heal in countable minutes. Number eight, Roma Kislyakov, the group for protection of dragons. A Burdock-Diesel wet-dry vacuum, an enormous and clumsy machine, which, however, is better not to collide with in the air — will take one down on the spot. Only, the dragons never swallow him. The reasons are obvious: indeed must take a shower sometimes... Number nine, Liza Zalizina. Not afraid of fire. In the moronoid world she managed not to be burnt in a terrible fire, which, by the way, she set. Forward. A flying cuckoo clock. The cuckoo, by the way, pecks very painfully... And finally number ten — forward Tatiana Grotter, trainer’s recent find. A real queen of flight, best of all I’ve seen! Her ancient double bass is the work of Theophilus Grotter — exceptionally fast and manoeuvrable at the same time...”

The voice of Bab-Yagun was lost in the noise of the spectators. The stadium began to drone. Thousands of people turned to Tanya. It was no longer necessary to present her: the name spoke for itself. All the werewolves at once fixed their eyes on her, and their trainer Shush began to whisper something rapidly to captain Tobush, for whom, in order to reach the trainer’s ear, it was necessary to lean nearly to the ground.

“Yagun better shut up! Here’s a yapper! Now wait for meanness from the werewolves. No matter, any werewolf hits me, I’ll also bite Yagun later: he’ll chatter less next time! ” Tanya thought with annoyance. She was ready to fall through the earth from the universal attention to her person. Fortunately, this did not continue for long. Both hangars were opened at once at a sign of the referee, and the genies led out the dragons, which instantly switched the attention of the spectators.

Huge Goyaryn, with a wingspan so wide that it was prevented from even manoeuvring inside the shielding dome, came out, barely noticing the fifty genies hanging onto it. The dragon of the werewolves was a little smaller but not a bit less dangerous. Fast, very solidly built, with a wide mouth and greenish scales, it immediately angrily stared at Goyaryn with the closely planted yellow eyes and began to roar provocatively. Goyaryn did not like this at all and breathed out flame.

Now, when two large dragons showed themselves in the field together, it suddenly seemed to Tanya tight and uncomfortable. She wanted to jump on the double bass sooner and to soar upward where it was much more spacious. Moreover, she felt much more confident in the air.

“In vain! Here you’ll see: we’ll crash for sure! Or, if we don’t crash, the dragon will devour us! ” Tanya heard the squeaking voice of her magic ring. “Argue what you want, what if something bad happens? My gilding itches, and it’s not a good sign! Get this straight! ”

“Keep quiet! ”

“I’ll not keep quiet! I’ll croak! We’ll crash, will crash, will crash! ” The ring began to shake in senile obstinacy.

Fortunately, it grumbled so that it wasted its conversational magic in less than five minutes and was soon quiet. However, it succeeded in spoiling the mood.

“The match will begin any minute now, ” Bab-Yagun continued to rattle merrily. “Almost all the preparations are completed. Slander Slanderych, the most impartial and simultaneously most good-natured referee in the world, prepares to give the signal to the genies so that they will let go of the dragons. The arbiters carried out five flying balls — sneeze, fire-extinguisher, stun, pepper, and immobilize. Now it’ll only depend on the players, who will seize the first initiative...”

Slander Slanderych, clearly agitated by the words of Bab-Yagun about his geniality, with a sour face waved to the genies, and they at once unfastened all the chains. The dragon of the werewolves took off first, and behind it also Goyaryn. In the same moment the twenty players broke away from the ground and dashed to the balls escaping from them. Tanya, having had time already to acquire some experience, immediately separated from the base group and soared upward — under the same magic dome, and from there, having seen where a stun ball nearest to her was located, rushed to it. The rumble of the werewolves’ vacuums was heard somewhere below and the dragon of the werewolves already strove for Rita On-The-Sly craftily dodging on her guitar with a trailer.

“Oh, my granny mama! ” Bab-Yagun exclaimed. “What a sharp start! Someone of the werewolves — Grush, Tush, or Dush, — I cannot make out more precisely, is rushing to Goyaryn with a sneeze ball. Roma Kislyakov intercepts the ball and passes to his captain Idiotsyudov... Oh what carelessness! Rita On-The-Sly cut into one of the defensive players of the werewolves. I argue for a new nozzle for the vacuum, it was especially left vulnerable. The dragon of the werewolves makes use of this and... nightmare! Rita On-The-Sly swallowed at the very beginning of the match! We hope that nothing will happen to her, but there remain only nine players in team Tibidox... Immediately three werewolves with captain Tobush in lead break through to Goyaryn with the immobilize ball... Will they really throw it? Dangerous moment! Defence is late, but... what a blow with the tail! Well-done Goyaryn! The vacuum fell apart in the air. A werewolf is hanging by the shawl-parachute, and captain Tobush hurriedly drags him away to the dugout, where, most probably, he’ll change to the captured guitar of Rita On-The-Sly... The immobilize ball bounces off Goyaryn’s teeth, never falling into its mouth... Seven-Stump-Holes breaks away forward... Outstanding, Outstanding! Tanya Grotter goes around two werewolves and passes him the stun ball. Plunk! The dragon of the werewolves swallows the ball and immediately begins to turn confusedly on the spot, shooting flame at its own defence! Slander... excuse me, Slander Slanderych... raises the tablet with one point. Could give, by the way, also a two, but it’s possible to expect that from such a si... Granny, don’t nudge me! I wanted to say ‘sincere referee.’ What do I see! The werewolves with their famous wedge attacks Goyaryn, literally sweeping aside Katya Lotkova. Really again a ram attack? When will they finally put an end to this rough play? Where are the arbiters looking? Katya Lotkova lands. Her vacuum is damaged. She cannot continue with the game. It seems to me, I see tears in her eyes. Do anything, Professor! Must stop the possibility of rough play at the very beginning! ”

Bab-Yagun leaped up from indignation and was about to turn to Sardanapal, but saw only his back. Chernomorov quickly went off somewhere, accompanied by the astonished look of Medusa. But Bab-Yagun did not have time to think where Sardanapal disappeared to. The match continued.

“Attention! Dangerous moment! A forward of the werewolves — it seems, it’s Grush — throws a ball — I did not have time to notice which — to Goyaryn’s throat, but himself also doesn’t manage to slip away himself! Goyaryn swallows him. The ball explodes in its throat and the recently swallowed werewolf shoots out like a bullet. The dragon’s sneeze properly stunned him. Anyway you slice it — the goal was hammered in! To the werewolves credited five points — they’re pulling ahead! But team Tibidox will not surrender! Zhora Zhilkin intercepts a fire-extinguisher ball and passes it to Tanya Grotter. Three werewolves tightly surround Tanya, and one, it seems, captain Tobush himself, switching on the jet acceleration, approaches from below. This, undoubtedly, is an attempt at a ram attack, but... What a dive! The werewolves did not even expect that such a thing is possible. Tanya tries to slip away from the trap. One of the werewolves almost cuts her off, but his locket is caught on a pin of the double bass. The chain broke and the locket falls! Incredible! Without the locket the werewolf immediately changes into a wolf. Now it’s understood why they need the lockets. The wolf attempts to hold onto the vacuum, but the paws slide down, and it falls. Excellent punishment for the rough play! Now it is necessary for quite a few medics to bustle: certain they in life have not met another such biting flat cake! ” Again somewhere a bench cracked and someone howled resentfully. “Well done, granny! The commentator must be protected... What do I see! Tanya Grotter beats the defence, dives under the snout of the dragon, avoids the clanking teeth and — throws the ball! The spell works! Instead of flame the dragon of the werewolves now breathes out only inoffensive smoke.”

Having thrown the ball, Tanya again soared to the very top of the magic dome and began to wait while the next ball — and they had only two left — flew up closer. She sensed this unity with the double bass, which she had never experienced before. It obeyed any movement of the bow, and even the werewolves on their vacuums no longer dared to aim for her. Having demonstrated this, Tanya could not hold back and rushed past in front of the very nose of their captain, but he, seeing already that she could not be caught, only maliciously clicked his teeth. The battle was in full swing. The benches roared. Liza Zalizina and Damien Goryanov, pursuing the immobilize ball, bumped their foreheads. Sneezing to get rid of an unpleasant sensation, the gone mad Goyaryn swallowed at once two werewolves and, the saddest, together with them the captain of team Tibidox Yura Idiotsyudov. A moment later Goyaryn negligently spit out his vacuum exactly like the husk of seeds... Seven-Stump-Holes waved his hand, attracting Tanya’s attention... Indeed: to the right flickered the immobilize ball which the werewolves were already rushing to.

Pressing her chest against the double bass, Tanya extended in front the hand with the bow and rushed forward, courageously rushing into the tiny space between the werewolves. She caught the immobilize ball which hit her palm painfully, and at the last moment dived sharply downward, getting away from pursuit.

Tobush angrily yelled something at her, clearly threatening, but the girl was already fixed on the green dragon. However, when she flew up to it, it turned out that the ball was no longer necessary. The defence did not take sufficient care and both dragons — Goyaryn and the green — grappling with each other in the air, with strokes of the wing tossing all the players accidentally finding themselves beside them. It would be folly to butt in now — Tanya would simply be crushed between the dragon bodies.

“Did you see that? ” Bab-Yagun overstrained himself. “What a scuffle in the air! What a stunning battle! The enraged ‘goals’ are exchanging blows with their tails, in the course go the teeth, wings... I would not want to again turn up in the stomach of Goyaryn this time, though, possibly, now it’s the safest place, if, of course, the trouble-maker Idiotsyudov did not start a brawl with the werewolves inside. What do the arbiters decide? Where is the referee? Where, finally, are the on-duty magicians? Never before has a skirmish of the teams passed into a fight of the ‘goals’...”

Suddenly Bab-Yagun broke off. The platform on which he was standing shot up abruptly. Along the ground ran a deep crack, into which both arbiters miraculously did not fall. The benches fell, many spectators fell on one another. Something began to drone underground and broke with a dry crack as if a tightly stretched thick rope was broken. The main tower of Tibidox shuddered. It seemed that even it would collapse any minute now, but the tower resisted. An indistinct male voice thrice exclaiming: “Fear Chaos! ” burst from the basements of Tibidox and swept across the field. Both dragons unexpectedly released each other and despondently pressed against the ground, just like frightened dogs. The match was interrupted by itself, even despite the fact that no one stopped it: the main referee Slander had disappeared somewhere not long before these strange events.

The instructors whispered among themselves, jumped up from their places, and rushed to Tibidox alone or in twos. The genies in a hurry forced the dragons into the hangars. They for some reason did not resist, and even returned the swallowed players without any objection. There was a good shine under the eyes of both werewolves: it was obvious that Yura Idiotsyudov gave them a proper beating, getting off himself with only a torn sleeve and several scratches.

No one understood anything. Dusya Dollova shouted that an earthquake started, and Coffinia asserted that the titans escaped. Everything was explained only when Sardanapal mounted the swaying platform. He was pale, tattered, his moustaches drooping weakly, and the beard wound around his neck three times. The academician snatched the mike from Bab-Yagun. His voice shook:

“I ask everyone to remain calm. While the match was going on, someone stole into the Nameless Basement and cut the magic Hair, freeing the voice of The Ancient One located in it, and disappeared after that in the path dug by the evil spirits! The cyclops was not able to hinder him. The end has arrived for peaceful life. I’m certain soon we’ll hear about Plague-del-Cake...”