From tinkled to turbo-charged

What would your life be like if you could take all the negative emotions you ever felt and lower their intensity so they didn't impact you as powerfully, so you were always in charge? What would your life be like if you could take the most positive emotions and intensify them, thereby taking your life to a higher level? You can do both of these in a heartbeat. Here's your first assignment.

Take a moment right now, and write down three words that you currently use on a regular basis to make yourself feel lousy (bored, frustrated, disappointed, angry, humiliated, hurt, sad, and so forth).

Whatever words you choose, be sure they are ones that you use regularly to disempower yourself. To discover some of the words you need to transform, ask yourself, " What are some negative feelings I have on a consistent basis? "

Next, having identified these three words, have some fun. Put yourself in a crazy and outrageous state and brainstorm some new words that you think you could use to either break your pattern or at least lower your emotional intensity in some way. Let me give you a clue on how to select some words that will really work for you over the long term. Remember that your brain loves anything that gets you out of pain and into pleasure, so pick a word that you'll want to use in place of the old, limiting one. One of the reasons I used " peeved" or " a bit annoyed" instead of " angry" is that they sound so ridiculous. It's a total pattern interrupt for me and anyone who's listening to me, and since I love to break patterns, I get a lot of fun and pleasure out of using these words. Once you get results like that, I guarantee you'll also get addicted to the process. To help you get started, here are some examples of simple and ridiculous words you can use to immediately lower your intensity:

Negative

Emotion/Expression

I'm feeling... to

angry to

afraid to

anxious to

anxious to

confused to

depressed to

depressed to

depressed to

Transforms Into

I'm feeling...

disenchanted

uncomfortable

a little concerned

expectant

curious

calm before action

not on top of it

on the road to a tum-around

The Vocabulary of Ultimate Success

destroyed

that stinks

pissed off

disappointed

disappointed

disgusted

dread

embarrassed

embarrassed

exhausted

exhausted

failure

failure

failure

fear

fearful

frightened

frustrated

frustrated

furious

humiliated

humiliated

hurt

hurt

I hate

impatient

insecure

insulted

insulted

irritated

irritated

jealous

lazy

lonely

lonely

lost

nervous

overloaded

overwhelmed

overwhelmed

overwhelmed

overwhelmed

set back

that's a little aromatic

tinkled

underwhelmed

delayed

surprised

challenge

aware

stimulated

recharging

a little droopy

stumble

learning

getting educated

wonderment

curious

inquiring

challenged

fascinated

passionate

uncomfortable

surprised

bothered

dinged

I prefer

anticipating

questioning

misunderstood

misinterpreted

stimulated

ruffled

overioving

storing energy

available

temporarily on my own

searching

energized

stretching

some imbalance

busy

challenged

in demand overwhelmed

overwhelmed

overwhelmed

painful

petrified

rejected

rejected

rejected

rejected

rejected

sad

scared

oh, shit

sick

stressed

stressed

stressed

stupid

stupid

stupid

terrible

many opportunities

maximized

moving and shaking

uncomfortable

challenged

deflected

learning

overlooked

underappreciated

misunderstood

sorting my thoughts

excited

oh, poo

cleansing

busy

blessed

energized

discovering

unresourceful

learning

different

Now, you can do better than this list, I'm sure, so come up with three words that you habitually use that create negative feelings in your life, and then write a list of alternatives that would either break your pattern by making you laugh because they're so ridiculous, or at least lower the intensity.

Old, Disempowering Word New, Empowering Word

1.___________________ ___________________

2.___________________ ___________________

3.___________________ ___________________

How do you make sure that you really use these words? The answer is simple: NAC yourself. Remember Neuro-Associative Conditioning? Remember the first two steps?

Step One: Decide that you're committed to having much more pleasure in your life and a lot less pain. Realize that one of the things that's kept you from having that is using language that intensifies negative emotion.

Step Two: Get leverage on yourself so that you'll use these three new words. One way to do this is to think of how ridiculous it is to work yourself into a frenzy when you have the choice of feeling good! Maybe an even more powerful way to get leverage is to do what I did: approach three friends and share with them the words that you want to change. For example, I found myself being frustrated a lot in my life, so I decided to become " fascinated" instead. I also was often saying, " I have to do this, " and it made me feel stressed. Since I wanted a reminder about how fortunate I am, and because it really transformed my experience, I began to say, " I get to do this." I don't have to do anything! And instead of being " angry, " I wanted to either be " annoyed, " " peeved, " or " a little bit concerned."

For the next ten days, if I caught myself using the old word, I would immediately break my pattern and replace it with the new word. By giving myself pleasure for committing and following through, I established a new pattern. My friends, though, were there to help me if I got off track. They were to immediately ask me, " Tony, are you angry, or are you just peeved? " " Are you frustrated or fascinated? " I made it clear to them not to use this as a weapon, but as a tool of support. Within a

short period of time, these new language patterns became my consistent approach.

Does this mean that I can never feel " angry"? Of course not. Anger can be a very useful emotion at times. We just don't want our most negative emotions to be our tools of first resort. We want to add to our level of choice. We want to have more of those molds in which to pour our liquid sensations of life so that we have a greater number and quality of emotions in our lives.

If you really want to make these changes, go to three of your friends, explain to them what you're doing, what words you want, and have them ask you respectfully, " Are you (old word) or (new word)? " Make the commitment to break your own patterns as well, whenever possible. Give yourself immediate pleasure whenever you use the new alternative, and you'll develop a new level of choice for your life.

Of course, using Transformational Vocabulary is not limited to lowering negative intensity; it also offers us the opportunity to powerfully intensify our experience of positive emotions. When someone asks how you're doing, instead of saying, " Okay" or " So-so, " knock their socks off by exclaiming, " I feel spectacular! " As simplistic as this sounds, it creates a new pattern in your neurology—a new neural highway to pleasure. So right now, write down three words you use to describe how you're feeling or how you're doing on a regular basis that are " just okay" in their orientation—" I'm feeling good, " " I'm fine, " " Things are all right." Then come up with new ones that will absolutely inspire you. If you want

some suggestions, look at the following list and circle the ones that you think would be fun to add to your vocabulary to spice up your current experience of life:

Use the same system of contacting your three friends to make sure you use these new, powerful, positive words, and have fun doing it!