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Chapter Seventeen






ABOUT AN HOUR or so later, they arrived at a small family restaurant in Surf City, a homey little place with gingham curtains and matching tablecloths. They had the place to themselves save for a man and woman who were seated at a table in the back and two men seated next to each other at the small counter.

Ridley selected a table in the corner on the opposite side of the room from the man and woman. They both ordered juice and coffee with eggs, bacon, home fries and toast. As they ate, they shared a smile now and then, but said very little to each other.

Close to fourteen hours of sex had done little to extinguish the fire that still burned hot in Ridley. She still wanted to touch Dana all the time and she still wanted to make love to her. As they lingered over a third cup of coffee, she leaned closer to Dana and said, " You look radiant this morning and so beautiful."

" Do I? Thanks." Dana's gentle eyes were nothing but kind. " I feel wonderful and more relaxed than I have in a long time. I guess it's the fresh air, among other things."

Ridley covered Dana's hand with her own. " I've never felt better myself."

Dana turned her hand palm up and entwined her fingers with Ridley's. " I love the color of your eyes. The shade varies from emerald green in the bright sunlight to a pale olive green when it's gray or cloudy. When you look at them up close, they have tiny specks of gold in them, like some kind of precious gemstone."

" I didn't realize you'd noticed them."

" I noticed them the first time I saw you. It would be hard not to because they're so striking, especially with the color of your hair." Dana must have been worried that the other people in the restaurant would see them because she slid her hand out from under Ridley's. " It might be a better idea if we talked about something safer."

" There is something I'd like to talk to you about, something I think we really should talk about but I don't know if it comes under the heading of safer."

" What is it? " Dana asked with concern.

Ridley leaned closer. " That night we kissed for the first time you told me that you'd been involved with someone, that you'd given your heart to her. It's obvious to me that she broke your heart and I'm guessing that's the reason you don't want to become involved with me. Am I right about that? "

" Yes." Dana's expression changed from concern to sadness. " Her name is Sarah."

" Do you mind if I ask you how you met her? "

" No, I don't mind." Dana folded her hands in front of her. " I met her in Chicago. She was a chef and we worked together in the same restaurant. We started out as friends and later on, one thing led to another and we became lovers. I was the first woman she'd ever been with." Dana focused on her hands as she went on with her story. " After we'd been together for six months, someone offered her a job as a pastry chef at an elegant resort in the mountains of Northwestern Pennsylvania. She asked me to go with her. It had top notch restaurants and I thought it would be good for me to learn the techniques of spa cooking." Dana shrugged her shoulders. " So I applied for a position and got hired as a sous-chef in one of their restaurants and we went."

" Did you like it? " Ridley asked a less dangerous question than the one she really wanted to ask. She skirted around the real issues because she didn't want to make Dana shut down or turn away from her. More than that, she was afraid to hear something she didn't want to hear. When it came to Dana she was already too far gone and she couldn't bear to hear the rejection she feared was waiting to pounce on her from the shadows behind her happiness.

" Very much so. I became a better, more health conscious chef and more eclectic in my style. Spa style cooking is lighter, healthier and very artistic. I apply a lot of the skills I acquired in my restaurant dishes."

Setting her fears aside, Ridley asked a question that addressed what she really yearned to find out. " So what happened with you and this woman? "

" We lived there and we worked and we were lovers, until..." Dana leaned on the table and looked down, her face somber. " Let's just say she decided she wanted something else."

" I'm sorry. You don't have to tell me any more about it if you don't want to."

" I don't want to talk about her, not with you." Dana lifted her eyes to meet Ridley's. " You aren't really that interested in our breakup, are you? What is it you really want to know? "

Ridley swallowed hard. " I want to know what made you change your mind about being with me and why you wanted to come here this weekend. I guess I want to know why you decided to make love with me."

Dana sat up straight and scraped her chair nearer to Ridley's so no one else could hear what she had to say. " You must know I'm hopelessly attracted to you. You're adorable and sweet and very, very hard to resist. I am made of flesh and blood, not stone."

" That I know." Ridley took in a deep breath and let it out. " And you must know that I'm hopelessly attracted to you, but I also haven't forgotten what you told me about not wanting to get involved. So, I suppose what I'm saying is, I hope you're not sorry about what happened last night and I hope you won't run away from me because of it."

" No, I won't. Please don't think that."

" I guess I need to know if I stand a chance with you." Ridley had finally voiced what was eating at her the most, the one thing she wanted to know more than anything else.

" I don't know right now. I'm sorry, I... I just don't know."

" At least you're honest. I'd like to think I'm mature enough to enjoy being with you on your terms, while it lasts. I want to be able to do that and I want to be careful not to ask you for more than you can give." These statements were out and out lies and it hurt Ridley to say them. When it came to Dana she wanted it all and she believed that Dana would run the other way if she told her that in so many words. " I just want to be with you whenever I can for as long as I can."

" Is that good enough for you? " Dana asked.

" It's good enough for now. It has to be." Ridley didn't dare say more. Every word coming out of Dana's beautiful mouth sounded like goodbye and she could hardly bear it. As if there were a crystal ball on the table, she could almost see the heartache she'd have to suffer down the road, but now that she had gone down that road there was no turning back.

" I'm not sure I can promise you more."

" I understand and I won't ask you to." Nothing remained to be said and when the silence began to stretch into awkwardness, Ridley asked, " Do you want another cup of coffee? "

" No, I'm finished. I don't want anything else."

" Why don't we go for a ride? I'll show you some of my favorite places and take you to the other end of the island to see the National seashore. It's pretty there and we can take a walk on the beach if you'd like to."

" I'd like that." Dana downed the last of her coffee.

 

" I HAD a wonderful time, " Dana said after they got back to the house in the late afternoon. " I wouldn't mind looking at the ocean for the rest of my life."

" I feel the same way." Ridley enfolded Dana in her arms. " It's been hours since I've kissed you. I almost kissed you on the beach, but those other people showed up."

" Nothing's stopping you now." Dana pressed her lips to Ridley's.

The kiss left Ridley panting and barely able to speak. " Let's go upstairs and leave a little later. We've got time and it won't take us long to get home. Please? "

" I guess we can stay another hour or two." Dana took Ridley's hand. " I just need to be with you a little longer."

A couple of hours later, after another heated lovemaking session, Ridley held Dana in her arms. Like a fool, she thought if she held Dana tight enough she would never have to leave her and this happiness she'd been granted would never have to end.

" I was right, " Dana said with her cheek nestled against Ridley's soft breast. " You are every bit as sexy as I thought you would be."

" All day I wanted this. I couldn't wait to be alone with you." Ridley's words were as tender as a caress. " I don't want this to end and I don't want to leave, but I suppose we should get ready to go home."

" Can't we stay here forever? "

" I'd give anything if we could. However..." Ridley pushed the covers down and got out of bed. How could she feel so sad in the midst of such joy? She started to gather her clothing. Being here with Dana had meant everything to her and the last thing she wanted to do was to go home. She couldn't help but be filled with a sense of foreboding about her future with Dana.

" I guess you're right." Dana got out of bed and stood next to Ridley. " Do I have time for a shower before we head back? It won't take me long to get ready."

" Let's both take one, but not with each other. We'll never get out of here if we get into that shower together." Ridley's eyes surveyed Dana's naked body. " We could, uh, we could..."

" We could what? "

" I'm sorry. I can't seem to speak clearly when I'm standing this close to you with nothing on. I was trying to say we could stop somewhere and get something to eat before we get home. I know a good diner in New Jersey and it's on the way."

" That's fine with me. I'll go to my room and shower and get my things together. It shouldn't take me any longer than half an hour."

" Perfect. I'll meet you downstairs."

 

DURING THE RETURN trip, Ridley held Dana's hand almost the entire way. Dana had never known anyone as affectionate and tender as Ridley and she liked the physical contact very much. She was warmed by Ridley's contented smile and she liked the way her hair curled around her ears and the way she looked at her as she drove.

Before they got to the Benjamin Franklin Bridge, they stopped to eat at the diner Ridley had mentioned and before long they were pulling up in front of Café De Marco. Ridley stopped to let Dana out and turned in her seat. " Well, here we are."

" Yeah, here we are." Dana repeated Ridley's words. She was happy to be home and at the same time she felt sad that the weekend had come to an end. Tracy had encouraged her to enjoy Ridley and she had, so why didn't she feel better about it? The sex with Ridley had been the best she'd ever had, although she would never claim to be the most experienced lesbian in the world when it came to sex, but just the same, it was only sex, right? It just meant they were strongly attracted to each other, but it didn't mean they had to get serious about each other.

" When will I see you again? "

" I'm not sure. It's going to be a busy week." Dana stalled for time because she didn't know what to do. Her old anxieties rose up and warned her that she might be rushing into something she wasn't prepared to handle. They told her to put some distance between her and Ridley and to be careful before she made any promises she couldn't keep.

" I'm going to miss you, " Ridley said. " Would it be all right if I called you later this week just to talk and see how you're doing? "

" Of course you can call me, " Dana said. The disappointment in Ridley's voice and the hurt in her eyes made Dana ignore her inner voices. No one deserved to be treated with indifference, least of all someone as nice as Ridley. Despite her fears, she couldn't bring herself to shut Ridley out of her life. They'd made love to each other and had shared the deepest kind of intimacy and she couldn't bear to leave Ridley with the impression that it had meant so little to her. " Why don't you come over this Sunday after brunch, say around three-thirty? We can spend the rest of the day and evening together."

Ridley's face brightened. " That sounds like fun. I'll look forward to it."

Dana felt better when she saw the heaviness lift from Ridley's eyes and the pain vanish from her features. " I don't know what we'll do. Maybe I'll rent a movie or something."

" I don't think we'll have a problem finding something to do."

" No, I guess we won't, " Dana said. " Ridley? "

" What is it? " Ridley put her hand on Dana's shoulder.

" I don't know how to thank you for this weekend. It was wonderful and I want you to know it meant a great deal to me. I enjoyed being with you and talking to you and..." Dana hesitated but then continued on in spite of her fears. " I enjoyed being close to you."

" I'm glad you feel that way because I loved making love to you." Ridley cupped Dana's cheek and rubbed her cheek bone with her thumb. " And I loved everything we did together." She gave Dana a long, lingering kiss.

" I'd better get inside, " Dana said when the kiss ended. " You have a good week. Call me in a few days and I'll see you this Sunday." Dana got out, grabbed her bag and walked away. Before she turned to go around the rear of the house, she turned and waved goodbye.


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