Chapter Nineteen

ON MONDAY AFTERNOON, the phone rang and Dana ran to answer it before the answering machine picked up the call. She expected it would be her sister since Donna had called on Sunday evening while Dana was in bed with Ridley and had left a message that she would call back the next afternoon. " Hello, " Dana said.

" Dana? Is that you? "

The caller was not her sister and at first, Dana couldn't recognize the voice. " Yes, this is Dana. Who's this? " Dana's heart began to race as her memory banks re-deposited the identity of the voice's owner into her consciousness.

" Dana? Is that really you? "

" Sarah? " Yes, it was her all right. No doubt about it. Dana's hands shook so violently, she almost dropped the phone. " I never expected I'd pick up the phone and hear your voice." For a long time after they broke up she'd prayed for this call until eventually, she was forced to accept that it would never come and now here she was listening to Sarah's sugary voice on the other end of the line.

" I didn't mean to shock you, " Sarah said. " Did I call at a bad time? "

" Uh... you just took me by surprise, that's all. I wasn't..."

" I'm sure you weren't. I'm sorry about that."

Dana ignored the apology. " So, how did you get my number? "

" I called your mother. She's the one who told me you moved to Philadelphia."

" I did. Where are you calling from? Where do you live? "

" Here in Chicago. Your mother said you opened your own restaurant. That's what we were going to do, remember? "

" I remember. Funny you should remind me of that because I could have sworn you were the one who forgot." A surge of anger scraped its way through Dana's gut and burned its way into her throat. She swallowed it back down.

" I..." Sarah said nothing for a few seconds. When she did speak, her voice sounded high and a bit cheerful. " So, how are you doing? "

" I'm doing great, thank you very much." Dana noticed that Sarah didn't respond to her remark or try to explain herself. Even if she did, it wouldn't have made a difference.

" I'm happy for you--for opening the restaurant."

" Gee, thanks. So, how's what's his name? " Dana asked, tired of trying to keep the anger from oozing into her tone. Sarcasm wasn't usually her style but everything she said to Sarah sounded sarcastic to her own ears. What's more, she didn't care.

" You mean Kevin? He's okay, I guess."

" You guess? "

" We split up. He decided taking care of me and the baby was too much for him."

" Too bad, " Dana said with sharpness in her crisp words. What did she care? As a matter of fact, it pissed her off to hear about Kevin. Why had she even asked about Kevin, she wondered? This was no time to be polite. " I almost forgot you had a baby. What did you have? "

" A girl. Her name's Tori."

" Congratulations." Dana forced that out through clenched teeth. She waited through the silence that followed and then spoke first. " Look, Sarah. I'm sure you didn't call just to engage in this chit-chat. What do want? "

" I've missed you, " Sarah said.

" Are you serious? " Dana almost laughed out loud at Sarah's ridiculous declaration. Her voice had sounded sheepish when she said it and Dana didn't believe her. " You missed me? You could have fooled me."

" I know. I should have called you way before this. I've thought about you a lot, you know? And I thought maybe I could see you again and we could... we could talk."

" I don't know about that."

" Maybe you can't forgive me, " Sarah offered.

" I don't know about that either."

Sarah continued on in spite of Dana's responses. " I regret what happened between us and I'm sorry about what I did to you. It bothers me and I'd like to make it up to you." Sarah waited a few seconds as if she expected Dana to jump in during the silence and let her off the hook. " We all make mistakes, don't we? "

" You were in our bed having sex with a man. That's quite a mistake."

" I know. It was rotten of me, " Sarah whined.

" Rotten? That's it? You destroyed my hopes and dreams. "

" I don't want to upset you. We should talk about this, in person."

" This is..." A deluge of emotions coursed through Dana and much to her chagrin, her voice broke and she thought she might cry. That was the last thing she wanted to do. With a steady voice, she said, " I'd have to think about that. I'm not sure I want to see you."

" Geez, Dana, I'm sorry I hurt you, you know, but I was only doing what I thought was right for myself at the time. I was stupid and I..."

" I know. That's what I used to tell myself."

" Would you come here to see me? I'm lonely and miserable and we used to have something good once, you know? We did, Dana, didn't we? "

" We did, but..." Dana took a deep breath and managed to salvage her dignity a second time. " I'm not sure I can get away. Let me think about it."

" Okay. Will you let me know? "

" Yes. Give me your number and I'll call you back."

Sarah recited her number and had Dana repeat it. " So, I'll wait to hear from you. Call me tonight or tomorrow and please consider coming. We should talk and maybe you don't believe me, but I do miss you."

" Goodbye, Sarah." Dana hung up and stared at the phone.

AS SOON AS she was able to move her legs, Dana sprinted out of her apartment and up the back stairs to Tracy's apartment. She banged on the door.

Tracy flung the door open. " Christ, Dana, is the house on fire or something? "

" Thank God you're home." Dana was on the verge of tears and didn't bother to hide it. She pushed past Tracy and stormed into her apartment. " I need to talk to you."

" What the hell happened? " Tracy caught up with Dana who was already in the living room. " So, sit down and tell me what's going on."

" She called me." Dana sat on the sofa.

" She who? " Tracy remained standing.

" Sarah, that's who. She just called me."

" Well, well, well. Will wonders never cease? What did she want? " Tracy's words were clipped and she made a face as if she'd just found a couple of six month old bananas on top of her refrigerator.

" She got my number from my mother and she wants to patch things up. She's sorry and she wants to see me."

" She should be sorry. Did she have anything to say for herself? "

" We didn't talk that much about it on the phone."

Dana sniffed and pulled a tissue out of her pocket. " She's living in Chicago."

" Goodie." Tracy's face scrunched up even more. " So, what happens next? "

" I'm not sure." Dana dried her eyes. " Do you have time to talk? "

Tracy's face softened just a bit. " Of course I do, honey. I always have time for you." She sat in a chair next to the sofa.

" I can't believe she called after all this time. I'm not sure how I feel about it and I don't know what to do. I don't want to hurt Ridley. She doesn't deserve that."

" Why are you so concerned about Ridley's feelings? I know you've been seeing each other, but aren't you just friends? "

" Not exactly, " Dana said.

" What does 'not exactly' mean? " Tracy's mouth fell open and her eyes widened as if she'd just had a revelation. " Why do I get the feeling something important has happened and I don't know anything about it? You're not keeping secrets from me are you? "

" Well..." Dana answered. " Something has happened."

" I hope it's what I think it is." Tracy's face lit up.

" It is what you think it is."

" You'd better fill me in and I want to know everything. You know I have to know what's going on in my best friend's personal life."

" Remember you said something along the lines of what harm would there be in having fun with Ridley and getting to know her? You said why don't you go for it? "

" Sure, I remember. So? "

" I thought about what you said." Dana paused.

" You did? " Tracy waited. " And? "

" And I have needs and she wanted me. She wanted me so much and that's awfully hard to resist, especially when it's someone as sexy as she is."

" Whoa. I can fill in the rest." Tracy held her hand up. " So you figured, what the hell, right? Why not enjoy some casual sex with a super adorable lesbian? Have you actually done it? Have you had sex with her? "

Dana felt her cheeks start to get warm. " I couldn't help myself. When we were at the shore I wanted to kiss her so bad I couldn't stand it for one more second. She told me she wanted to kiss me, so I kissed her. And then one thing led to another and we ended up in bed."

" That explains a lot. When you got back, you were glowing. You didn't tell me what had happened, but I knew something had. I figured you'd tell me when you were ready to." Tracy hesitated and then asked, " How was it if you don't mind me asking? "

" It was wonderful. She was wonderful. Whenever we're near each other, we can't stop touching." A surge of heat set Dana's body on fire as she recalled the intimacy she'd shared with Ridley only yesterday.

" Look at you." Tracy fanned herself. " You're making me hot."

" It was hot all right and I enjoyed it. I also liked being with her, but beyond that, I haven't thought much about my feelings. She's kind, she's considerate, she's..."

" Yeah, yeah, she's all that. But do you know how she feels about you? "

" Not really." Dana thought for a moment. " She's told me she thinks I'm beautiful and the way she looks at me... sometimes I think..."

" Go on. Sometimes you think what? "

With her hand, Dana waved away whatever she'd been about to say. " Never mind, I don't know what I think. I do know one thing, though. I wouldn't want to hurt her and I hope I didn't do the wrong thing by giving in to my attraction for her. Maybe I should have left her alone."

" Here's my advice to you and I can't believe these words are coming out of my mouth. Why don't you go to Chicago and talk to Sarah? As you know, I've never been crazy about her and as you also know, I really like Ridley. That woman has turned the lights back on in your eyes." Tracy paused as though to give Dana time to digest her words. " You'll never get on with your life unless you confront Sarah and find out if you still feel anything for her."

" I think you're right. I'll always wonder if I don't."

" Exactly, so why don't we come up with a plan? "

Dana devised a plan in her head right then and there and presented it to Tracy. " Would it be all right with you if I left early on Wednesday morning, if I can get a flight? Would you be able to drive me to the airport? "

" Yes to both. Will you visit your family while you're there? "

" I can't go to Chicago and not spend a few days with my family. I haven't seen them in months and I miss them. Do you think you can manage without me for a few days? "

" Sure. We've got the hang of it by now and I like being in charge. You do what you need to do and don't worry about a thing. You'll pay me back later."

Dana gave Tracy a big hug. " You're the best friend a person could ever have."

Tracy broke out of the hug and held Dana's arms. " Just don't come back and tell me you're moving or closing the restaurant. I love this job and I love living here and I love you. I don't want to lose any of it. You're the best boss and the greatest friend I'll ever have."

" That's not going to happen. I could never give this up and any decisions I make will be based on what's best for this restaurant and you. You can count on that."

" What about Ridley? She's obviously crazy about you. You should talk to her before you go. She's a nice person and I think you owe her that much."

" I agree. She's bringing her mother here for dinner tomorrow. I don't want to tell her on the phone, so I'll try to get her alone and talk to her. Hopefully, she'll understand."