Waitress

Egg and chips, sausage and chips, fish and chips, cheese and chips, pie and chips and chicken and …

HECTOR, BRIDGET, ANNIE & NICK

… Chips!!

WAITRESS

… Chicken and croquette potatoes.

NICK

So, we can have anything with chips.

WAITRESS

Apart from chicken – or – I have cake.

Gatox.

HECTOR

Gatox?

ANNIE

I think she means gateaux.

NICK, HECTOR, BRIDGET & ANNIE

Gatox please.

HECTOR

Spanish girls are beautiful!

NICK

Gre-at!

And French girls!

HECTOR

Really?!

BRIDGET

I don’t believe it.

ANNIE

What?

BRIDGET

Over there – over there!

ANNIE

Yeah?

BRIDGET

It’s him!!

ANNIE

Who?

BRIDGET

Enrique!

ANNIE

Enrique? Qué?

BRIDGET

Not Enrique- qué, Enrique Iglesias!

ANNIE

No!

Are you sure?

It can’t be!!

BRIDGET

This is Spain.

Well he’s from Spain!

ANNIE

Well?!

BRIDGET

I must go and talk to him!

Hair [check] lipstick [check] top – [check]. Right.

Here I go!

NICK

Where’s Bridget going?

ANNIE

Enrique Iglesias is sitting over there at that table!

HECTOR

No!!

BRIDGET

Enrique!

HECTOR

That is not Enrique Iglesias!

NICK

No way!

ANNIE

Oh, poor Bridget!

Still, he is quite good looking!

NICK

Hah!

Latin men are different to English men.

They are not sensitive, gentle, romantic and – sophisticated like me.

Crashing noise

WAITRESS

Gatox!

HECTOR

I think the waitress fancies you, Nick!

Go on, try one of your chat up lines on her!

NICK

Ha! She’s not my type!

ANNIE

So what is your type, Nick?

NICK

… Erm?

HECTOR

She’s coming back!

Go on, go on!

NICK

Which one, which one, I’ve forgotten them all!

HECTOR

Use my one, stars, stars.

NICK

OK, OK, I remember. [Clears throat].

“Your teeth are like stars – they come out at night.”

Annie and Hector laugh

NICK

It’s obvious – she’s crazy about me!

BRIDGET

I’ve got a date with him, I’ve got a date with him!

NICK

Who?

Mr Iglesias?

BRIDGET

Oh, don’t be silly!

Of course it’s not Enrique Iglesias!

I’m not that stupid! [Makes snorting noise]

HECTOR

Great!

NICK

Where are we going?

BRIDGET

No, not you, Miguel and me.

ANNIE

Oh no, Bridget, we must be your chaperones!

HECTOR

Yeah, you will not even notice us!

BRIDGET

Well, oh all right then!

NICK

Oh, all those Spanish girls – clubbing!

WAITRESS

Clubbing!

Let’s boo-oo-gie, baby!

I’ll show you how it’s done!

COMMENTARY [v.o.]

Next time in EXTRA - England play Argentina in the World Cup.

Nick gets a phone call and Bridget has a bad hair day.

EXTRA – don’t miss it!