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CHAPTER THIRTY-SEVEN. Jill shifted on the bench, her gaze sliding from the old woman back to the countless headstones that dotted the landscape






Present Day

Jill shifted on the bench, her gaze sliding from the old woman back to the countless headstones that dotted the landscape. " And just like that... she was gone." Jill dabbed at her eyes, her tissue in shreds and she dug in her purse for another one. " I never saw her again. And three weeks later, I read the news... in the paper, " she said, tears again falling. " So quick. I'm in shock still, I think. There wasn't time to say good-bye. There wasn't time to say all the things I wanted to say, needed to say. She was just gone." Jill paused for breath, just now noticing the lengthening shadows as the sun slipped from the sky. She'd been talking for hours. " I'm so sorry, I've just been rambling on."

The old woman took her hand and squeezed, her own eyes misting with tears. " Not rambling, dear. You've been telling me of a great love. Thank you for sharing that with me."

Jill blew her nose then cleared her throat. " Yes. We fell in love. People do that, you know, " she said, almost apologetically. " And when you're falling in love, you believe in things so strongly." She paused, tears again welling in her eyes. " And I believe. I truly do. Is that crazy? Is it crazy to believe—to hope— that there's another lifetime that we'll be together? Do you think about that with your Eddie? "

She shook her head. " No. The Bible says it's not so. But I believe I'll see Eddie again. In heaven. Not in another lifetime." She patted her hand. " But I've learned through the years that everyone has different beliefs." She leaned closer. " That doesn't make it wrong."

Jill was silent for a moment, absently rubbing at her eyes, knowing she must look frightful. She finally turned. " No one knows. No one. Just you." She touched her heart. " A love so strong inside of me and no one knows."

" And you crashed the service today just to see them, to put faces to names? "

" Yes. Is that awful of me? I thought maybe I might feel... well, might feel her here."

" From what you've told me, it's not here you'll find her. You have the cottage now. That's where she'll be."

Jill laughed bitterly. " Yes. I have the cottage. A place I can't bear to go to, yet a place I'll never be able to part with."

" Nonsense. You'll go there because that's where she is. That's where you'll find your peace." She pointed to the grave. " That's why I come here. To me, this is where Eddie is, this is where I put him. That's what I was taught to believe." She stared at the grave, her wrinkled face hinting at a smile. " Oh, I feel his presence in the house, always will I suppose. But he's here. And I have my bench where I can come and talk to him. It eases the pain somewhat." She surprised Jill by putting a thin arm around her shoulders and pulling Jill closer. " Death... it's so hard to be the one left behind, " she said quietly. " But we go on. That's what we do." She pulled away. " Now, you go on home. You've got some decisions to make."

Jill nodded, then leaned over and kissed the wrinkled face. " Thank you, " she whispered. " Thank you for... well, just thank you."

Jill squeezed her shoulder one last time, then walked away, surprised by the lessening of the pain in her heart.

" If you ever need to talk, you know where I'll be, " she called to Jill.

Jill turned, watching as Bea's glance slid back to the grave, back to her Eddie.


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