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CHAPTER THIRTY-EIGHT






She gave herself a week. A week to get her emotions under control, a week to make sure there weren't any complications with the cottage and a week to feel confident about her decision.

Despite everything that had happened to her in the last year, her decision to leave Craig really had very little to do with Carrie. She'd been unhappy in her marriage long before Carrie came into her life. But still, divorce was something she'd never even considered before.

So she waited for Craig to get home, determined to tell him, determined to get on with her life. She couldn't continue this any longer. Between his constant questions and her fits of tears, the last few weeks had been a challenge for both of them. But it was time to give them both some relief. So she waited, sitting quietly out on the deck, the familiarity of it a comfort as she put the swing in motion. He would be home soon, she knew. And Angie, with the new school year barely a month old, had fallen into her old habit of going to Arlene's afterward until they called her home.

Then she heard it, the garage door opening, the truck door slamming. She closed her eyes for a moment, trying to gather her courage. She didn't want to hurt Craig but what she needed to tell him would hurt him deeply. After everything that had transpired between them—their fights, their silence—Craig still thought they could resurrect their marriage.

" Hey. Thought you'd be out here."

She nodded, waiting for him to join her.

" I thought, when you said you wanted to talk... well, I thought maybe it would be a good thing, " he said. " But it's not, is it? "

" No, Craig." She took a deep breath. " We can't do this any longer."

" But—"

" No, please. Let me finish." She cleared her throat before continuing. " It's been a tough year for you, I know. But I've got to do this, Craig. I'm going to file for divorce, " she said quietly. " It's best for everyone, Craig."

He walked away, his steps echoing on the deck as he paced back and forth. Then he asked the question Jill knew he would ask.

" You've always denied it but there's another man, isn't there? Just tell me."

She stared at him, her eyes filling with tears she didn't try to hide. " No, Craig. There was never another man."

" Then why? Why would you want to divorce? "

" Because I have nothing to offer you anymore. Nothing. And it's not fair to you to go on like this, Craig. I can't stay and be your wife." She looked away, then back at him, meeting his eyes. " I'm sorry, but I'm just not in love with you. And you need someone who is. You need to find someone who loves sports as much as you do. Then she'll go to all your games, she'll stand up and cheer for you, she'll love you for that part of you. But I can't be that person. I'm not that person."

" I don't understand." He paced again. " What does that mean? You want me to move out? "

She shook her head. " No. This is your home. This is Angie's home."

" Angie? You want Angie to stay with me? "

" Yes. Your mother is close by." She smiled sadly. " Angie doesn't want to be with me, Craig. Besides, I wouldn't be very good for her right now. So we'll work out some arrangement. I just want what's best for her."

He leaned his head back and stared at the sky, then let out his breath. " I guess I shouldn't be so surprised. It's been so long since it's been normal." He turned and looked at her. " Where will you go? "

" Actually, I've got my eye on this... this cute little cottage out at the lake." She wiped at the tears sneaking down her cheek. " I think it'll be perfect for me."

 


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