Sound of cameras clicking

VOICES ON TELEVISION

I can't live without you. I love you. I love you too, but it's for the best. It's finished. Oh, but darling, no. I'll die without you.

ANNIE

[Blows nose]

No, she can't!

BRIDGET

No, she can’t! He’s too good looking!

ANNIE

And her husband’s so awful!

VOICE ON TELEVISION

I'm sorry, I'm more s orry than...

Sound of telephone

BRIDGET

It’s your turn.

ANNIE

Hello? A message for who? Rock Thrust? I'm sorry, but I think you have the wrong number. That's OK. Bye.

BRIDGET

Well, who was that?

ANNIE

Someone wanted Rock Thrust.

BRIDGET

Rock Thrust? What a stupid name.

ANNIE

I know. Who would have a silly name like that?

NICK

Go, go, go, go, go! It's a raid!

HECTOR

Don't move. Legs in the air.

NICK

Hands. Not legs, hands in the air.

HECTOR

Oh, sorry.

Hands in the air.

BRIDGET

Hello Nick.

ANNIE

Hello Hector.

NICK

How did you know it was us?

ANNIE

Oh, lucky guess.

BRIDGET

Great. It's like Piccadilly Circus here on a Friday night. This apartment is very busy. Crazy phone calls, crazy names and now the FBI!

NICK

So Bridget, darling, any messages for me?

BRIDGET

What do you mean, messages?

Who do you think I am? Your secretary?

This is not your apartment. You do not live here. I never have any privacy.

NICK

But they cut off my telephone.

BRIDGET

That's not my problem. You should pay your bills.

HECTOR

Sorry, Bridget.

BRIDGET

And Hector, you live with Nick now. Please knock on the door.

Now I want to be alone!

Sound of door slamming

NICK

Well, that went well. What's wrong with her?

ANNIE

Nick, what day is it?

NICK

Wednesday.

ANNIE

And what time is it?

HECTOR

I know. Half past six.

ANNIE

So...

NICK and HECTOR

So...

ANNIE

So what's on television?

NICK

Oh, Love's True Dream.

HECTOR

Love's True Dream. What is that?

NICK

" Oh, Alberto, Alberto! I love you, I love you", " And I love you too, Penelope". Bridget's favourite programme.

ANNIE

Yeah, and mine.

HECTOR

Oh, really, Annie? Why?

ANNIE

Because it's about the simple love of a boy from Argentina and a girl from England.

HECTOR

Huh?

ANNIE

The simple love of a boy from Argentina and a girl from England.

HECTOR

Nice.

ANNIE

Oh, Hector! I love this advert.

HECTOR

What is it?

ANNIE

It's for chocolate mousse - shhh! " Chocolate so smooth it will melt a beautiful lady's heart. Chocolate mousse, the chocolate dessert for lov-ers". Hmmm, I love chocolate mousse.

Hey! This advert's good too. " Oooh, popcorn in the microwave, popcorn in just seconds, popcorn in your tummy, they're pop-tastic! "

HECTOR

And do you like popcorn, Annie?

ANNIE

Oh yeah, especially pop-tastic popcorn.

HECTOR

Well, we don't have pop-tastic popcorn in Argentina, but we make great popcorn.

ANNIE

Yeah?

HECTOR

Yes, I'll make it in the frying pan.

NICK

Oh yes! Yes, great! I've got the part, I've got the part!

HECTOR

Wow, man! That is great!

ANNIE

What is it?

NICK

Let's just say that my face will be on your television every night at 6 o'clock in front of a huge audience.

HECTOR

O-ho! " Ladies and gentleman, a star is born! ".

ANNIE

Oh, Nick, that's fantastic!

HECTOR

Ha-ha! This is it, Nick.

Today, London, tomorrow, Hollywood.

Sound of cameras clicking

NICK

I'd just like to thank my parents, my brothers and sisters, my dog,...... and of course my adorable girlfriend, Bridget.