Getting Started with Emotion Regulation Skills

Here is an exercise to get you started with some emotion regulation skills. As with the mindfulness skills, try to find a quiet place where you can work on them without anyone bothering you for fifteen to twenty minutes. We have included just one of the different ways to practice emotion regulation skills here, but there are several more in the specific chapters ahead.

This exercise has to do with understanding and identifying your emotions. This is the most important first step in learning how to manage or regulate your emotions. Therefore, next, we walk you through the steps to begin to understand three aspects of your emotions: physical sensations, action urges, and thoughts. Once you have practiced this skill of simply stepping back and noticing your emotions, you will be better prepared to use some of the strategies for managing your emotions that we talk about in other chapters.

Exercise 4.4 Physical Sensations, Action Urges, and Thoughts

Be sure to do this exercise when you feel an emotion, either positive (joy, happiness) or negative (anger or sadness), at least at a moderate intensity (like 5 out of a possible 10, where 0 means no emotion at all, and 10 means the strongest emotion you’ve ever felt).

1. Physical sensations: Sit down and pay attention to how you feel. Using the skill of mindful noticing mentioned previously, start by paying attention to the sensations you experience in your body. Do you notice anything about your heart rate or body temperature? Do your muscles feel tense or relaxed? What about any sensations in your belly, shoulders, head, neck, back, or other areas? Pay attention to where in your body you feel the emotion. Once you have observed for a couple of minutes, take a piece of paper and write down “Physical Sensations, ” and then note the physical sensations that you just noticed.

2. Action urges: Next, notice any desires or urges you have to do anything. These are called “action urges.” Often, action urges come along with emotions, because the point of an emotion is often to get you to do something. For instance, anger makes you want to attack or get rid of what is making you angry. So, for this part of the exercise, just sit and notice any urges to do anything. Do you feel like getting away from or escaping your emotions? Do you feel like yelling at someone? Do you feel like getting up and running; or crawling under the covers and sleeping, hiding, or doing nothing? Just notice what you feel like doing, and then write it down.

3. Thoughts: Finally, notice the thoughts that are going through your mind. What are you saying to yourself? What thoughts or images are passing across your mind? Thoughts often go along with emotions. Sometimes thoughts trigger emotions, and sometimes emotions trigger thoughts. Simply notice the thoughts you are experiencing. Thoughts are different from emotions, in that they often come in the form of words or images, whereas emotions are more like experiences that you sense in your body, such as muscle tension or other experiences you may have noticed previously. Simply notice whatever thoughts are going through your mind. It doesn’t matter what they are; just pay attention to them until you have a clear idea of what you’re thinking and then write it down.

Excellent! Now, you have a great start on DBT emotion regulation skills. As we mentioned, the remaining chapters of this book will walk you step by step through how to use these skills to help you with your anxiety.